equal pre-eminence in every art and fcience, where his excellence is often. difputable, or evidently inferior to that of depreciated foreigners, he immediately finks in the estimation of every genuine citizen of the world. countrymen of which I now complain. The first object of this gentleman's at tention, and confequently of his cenfure, was their language, which he fwore no rational being could poffibly comprehend. We had no fooner entered an inn, (where a few phrafes of English were understood by the cook, ufually the first perfon for whom he enquired) than he was at high words with Monfieur Le Cuifinier, about the proper manner of preparing his dinner. This important point was feldom fettled in fo Afk an Englishman what conftitution of government, and what code of civil laws, is most perfect; and I will readily allow him to fay, thofe of Great Britain but is he juftifiable in making fimilar anfwers to all propofed questions, whether they relate to the customs, the manners, the po- amicable a manner as I could have lice, the fashions, or even the vices, wifhed; and, indeed, every other was that prevail in his country? A ftaunch contended and paid for with fimilar North or South Briton will allow no proofs of animofity. What unaccountman to think, act, fpeak, write, cook, able beings thefe Frenchmen are!" eat, or drink, properly, but himfelf; would he exclaim on every occafion, nor can he find adequate terms of re- there is no bringing them to reason in proach for the fuppofed idiotcy of thofe any thing!'- Mon Dieu!' cried his who prefume to differ from him in opponents, in their turn, 'que ces Anany one particular. Why a French-glois font droles! et qu'on a de la peine man, for inftance, fhould eat foupe and boulli, in preference to roaft-beef and plum-pudding, will ever be an inexplicable mystery to honeft John Bull: nor is he lefs furprized, not to fay offended, at both French and Spaniards; the former for talking inceffantly at meals, and the latter for enjoying his fiefto, or afternoon's nap, inftead of fmoaking his pipe,and drinking his port, punch, or porter, as foon as the table is cleared. In giving full vent to his honeft, but ill-founded indignation, an Englifhman feldom reflects, that the perfons he cenfures, are only purfuing the dictates of that fecond nature which long and conftant habit never fails to produce; nor does he often confider, that he himself is at the fame time under the strongest influence of that very power whofe dictates he is fo eager to condemn. Some years fince, I was unfortunate enough to travel through several towns on the continent in company with a gentleman of this defcription; whofe remarks on the dress and customs of the people, though they fometimes not a little contributed to my amufement, gave me frequent occafion to lament that want of candour in my à les ramener à la raifon!' Tranflate each phrafe into what language you will, the fenfe of both will be exactly the fame, and each clearly proves the abfurdity of deciding on the propriety or folly of other men's taftes and opinions, as they coincide or clash with our own. To return to my travelling companion; every thing he faw was condemned almoft before it met his eye, and a frown, if not an oath, was the inevitable recompenfe of all those who proffered their fervices, or politely ventured on a falute. My feelings were greatly hurt to fee our boasted good-fenfe fo ill fupported in the conduct of this genuine Briton; he did not, however, continue long to excite the fneers of petulant ridicule; for, his difgufts increasing every stage, he took leave of me rather abruptly at Lisle, to return to his own country; declaring, (with an oath which I apprehend you would not permit me to register) that fince he left Old England, all had been vanity and vexation of spirit; that his meat had been poison; his drink little better; and that ours was the only nation in the whole world where a man could either live with fatisfaction, or die with a fafe confcience. So much for the ftrange humour 2 M 2 of of an individual, whofe conduct is too generally imitated by British continental travellers.. I fhall now proceed to other particulars. The Italians and Germans are left without rivals in their tafte for amorous and martial mufic; yet how often may one behold a groupe of our countrymen, heedlefs of the ftorm that falls in fhowers on their heads, liftening with much feeming delight to a coarfe ballad, moft of whom would have been faft afleep at one of Piccini's operas, or Handel's oratorios! Is it the force of custom, or prejudice, that fascinates their minds in thefe moments; that excludes reafon, and leaves no room for the exercife of judgment? Common fenfe certainly must be out of the queftion: and yet it would be difficult to perfuade the generality of Englishmen, that better mufic can be compofed than Fal de ral tit!' or 'Galloping dreary dun!' Butof all the narrow prejudices which are too justly imputed to Englishmen, there is none, perhaps, that expofes them fo much to the cenfure of furrounding nations, as the decided preeminence affigned to their own poets and philofophers. Is it not enough,' fay the learned of other countries, that Shakespeare and Milton are nearly put on a level with divinities; that ftatues, and almost altars, are erect⚫ed to them; but muft Taffo, Ariosto, Corneille, Racine, and Moliere, be facrificed at their fhrines? It is thus,' add they, that the English would arrogate to themselves the empire of wit, as they have that of the ocean, but without fufficient powers to fupport the arrogant pretenfion.' Thefe ftrictures on our idolatrous veneration for the writers in queftion, are but too well juftified by the feveral comments made on the productions of thefe great men; in which mountain faults have been reduced to mere atoms; and beauties magnified, which were never difcovered, and perhaps never meant, by the authors them. felves. Such reflections from the pen of an Englishman, will, I fear, give offence to many readers; but it must be re membered, that we are now in the regions of common fenfe, whilft those of partial error, and blind adulation, are left far behind us; that they are addreffed to the decifion of a judge, who is not to be biaffed by any contracted or private views, and whofe penetration no mortal can elude. Without expatiating more at large on a fubject that comes within the comprehenfion of every thinking obferver, I fhall conclude these remarks with two or three interrogations which every one may answer to his own breast; I am, for my own part, fully fatisfied. Why Englishmen, who claim a title to fuperior fenfe and judgment, are guided by others in their choice of drefs, fashions, and almost every other external embellishment? . Why the natives of other countries, whom they affect to defpife for levity and folly, fhould, in a great measure, monopolize all their favours? And, laftly, why foreign fiddlers, pipers, fencers, and even dancers,fhould be entitled to enormous pecuniary rewards; whilft many of our own countrymen, whofe talents are directed to objects of real utility in the perfection of elevated science, or brilliancy of wit, are left to languish in want, and expire in wretched obfcurity? (F.) 1 A BRITON FOR THE TOUCHSTONE. BEING afleep, the other evening, in my elbow-chair, a few hours after having perused the laft Number of the Touchstone, the following very curious dream prefented itself to my imagi nation. Solomon Sagebaro, Efq. in his judicial robes, appeared on an elevated throne, with the great Touchftone lying before him, much after the fame manner as the Lord Chancellor's mace, when that grave perfonage mounts the woolfack: and, while I gazed with a mixture of delight and refpect on this awful tribunal, I found myself, to my exceffive joy, called upon to perform the office of Stenographift, or Shorthand Writer to the Court of Common Senfe, and immediately took my feat, and and actually wrote the following account of the proceedings, which was found next morning on my bureau. PROCEEDINGS IN THE HIGH COURT OF COMMON SENSE, BEFORE SOLOMON SAGEBARO, ESQ. (TAKEN IN SHORT HAND.) SOLOMON Sagebaro, Efq. being feated in his judicial robes, with the Touchstone lying before him, the firft perfons called into court were two litigious Poets. The point for the decifion of the court was that of the pre-eminence of the parties in the art of making verfes, and each produced a fpecimen of his abilities. There was fomething like rhyme in both, but nothing like reafon in either; in confequence of which un fortunate circumftance, they were on the point of being configned to punishment, for affuming titles to which they had no juft pretenfions. The excufe they urged was, that they were impelled to write by the influence of the ftars. Solomon, however, in his profound wifdom, thought the furor poeticus ought rather to be afcribed to the moon. He nevertheless permitted them ftill to rank as underlings in the profeffion, on condition that the Greek word ASTER, which fignifies a ftar, fhould be added to that of POET. This point being agreed on, the two Poetafters were difmiffed: and they were fucceeded by a Newly-married Couple, who had quarrelled about the beft method of making a pudding, and whether it ought to be boiled in a round or a long bag, with fome other difputed points of equal importance. After a fhort paufe, it was determined by the court, that Common Senfe, however connected with making and eat ing puddings, had nothing at all to do with matrimonial differences of any kind; and the bufinefs was accordingly difmiffed without a hearing. The next Perfonage who appeared for examination was fo wrapped up in a party-coloured garb, that for fome time even the penetration of Solomon himself hardly knew what to make of him. Being asked his name, he an fwered, Patriat; his occupation, he A gay groupe of Females next appeared, commiffioned from the fex in general; but, as they talked all together, and with uncommon volubility, it was fome time before the nature of their cafe could be clearly underftood. At length one, whofe pipe was rather fhriller than the reft, exclaimed, that as the bone of contention was what we mean by beauty, they wanted to know the opinion of Common Senfe relative to determining it's ftandard. Never was judge more puzzled for an anfwer: it was to be decifive; and, which way foever it turned, was fure to meet with a strong oppofition from at least nine-tenths of the parties con cerned. He was, however, extricated from this first embarrassment by one of the ladies, who put the queftion in a different form. Pray, Mr. Sage baro,' faid fhe, rivetting her eyes full upon his, be fo good as to de clare which of us you think the handfomeft; for that, in fact, is what we want want chiefly to have decided.' Solomon very gravely put on his fpectacles, as the point required minute infpection; and fuch was the effect which this dumb fcene produced on the mufcles of the court, that it required all his authority to preferve order and due decorum. Every female who met his eye feemed to tell him, in expreffive language, You must be blind, unless 6 you give me the apple.' The more he gazed, the more his perplexity increafed; till, at length, he fairly declared, that the fight of fo many brilliant eyes operated too powerfully on the fancy, to leave the judgment cool and unembarraffed: he therefore begged to transfer the point of beauty to that of the understanding, on which he promifed to give a clear decifion the very next fitting. This was agreed to nem. con. and, as the point will now be confined to a very fmall compass, there is no doubt but he will be able to deliver his fentiments with the ufual precision. A Philofopher concluded the bufinefs of the evening. Like thofe of old, virtue was rather his object than wifdom, to which he did not feem to have any very evident claim. Being afked what virtue he most excelled in, he answered, in that of patience, which he found daily and hourly opportunities of exercising, from the infults to which his garb and manners exposed him, and which he bore with invincible fortitude. On putting his pretenfions to the ufual teft, Solomon, who obferved a conic beam reflected from the philofopher's forehead upwards, afked him a question or two about marriage, and if his patience was not occafionally expofed to domeftic trials, thofe being generally the most aggravating. The philofopher had a wife, and confequently anfwered in the affirmative; on which, Solomon told him his claims were juft; and that they would not only entitle him to prefent refpect, but enfure his future happinefs. The philofopher bowed in acknowledgment of the compliment, and the court adjourned till the 10th of next month. (F.) A DREAMER OF DREAMS. TO THE EDITORS OF THE BRITISH MAGAZINE AND REVIEW. GENTLEMEN, THOUGH I am aware you cannot, with propriety, at all times give the Parliamentary Debates of Ireland, it feems to me perfectly reasonable that you fhould at least so far notice them, as immediately to gratify your readers with an account of the fracas which has just happened between our two famous patriots, Meffrs. Grattan and Flood. If you think the following sketch of the bufinefs which brought on the affair alluded to, the authenticity of which may be fully relied on, sufficiently interefting for your invaluable work, the infertion will be efteemed a favour, by Your conftant reader, DUBLIN, OCT.30. IRISH J-W PARLIAMENTARY INTELLIGENCE; WITH AN ACCOUNT OF THE RISE AND PROGRESS OF THE DISPUTE BETWEEN MESSIEURS GRATTAN AND FLOOD. Tuesday, October the 28th, Sir HENRY CAVENDISH made his promifed motion-Refolved that the condition of this kingdom requires "every practicable retrenchment,confiftent with the fafety and honour of ⚫ the state.' MR. MASON-The committee of accounts being now open, it will be better to wait it's report, as necessary facts will then be truly ftated: and, as the motion is at prefent premature, if it is not withdrawn, I fhall move the previous question. SIR HENRY CAVENDISH-It is from the from the papers before you I proceed; therefore, there is no neceffity for delay. If ever there was a time when economy was neceffary, it is now; and I think there is a profpect of fuccefs, It was the intention of the Duke of Portland, when he was here, seriously to have entered upon the great bufinefs of retrenchment; and the prefent lord lieutenant encourages us, in his fpeech fpeech from the throne, to go on. He is well inclined, if he is fuffered to follow his inclinations; œconomy is the principle of his adminiftration. I will, therefore, from the accounts before you, and former documents, ftate the circumftances of the nation. At Lady-day 1755, we had no national debt; but, on the contrary, 470,000l. in the Treafury; at prefent we owe near two millions. In 1755, the penfions on our establishment were only 78,000l. in 1771 they amounted to 175,000l. and fince that time all the establishments have increased in the fame extravagant proportion, and all for the fame purpose of fupporting a corrupt influence. We are now a new Houfe of Commons; and I expect more virtue from the number of new men among us, than from the old ones, hacknied in the ways of prodigality. These days are different from those when your predeceffor filled that chair; when one member could say to another, If you'll fupport my job, I'll fupport yours; while the people of Ireland paid the piper. CAPTAIN BURGH followed Mr. Mafon, in recommending Sir Henry to poftpone his motion. MR. BROWN, of Trinity College, thought the state of the nation might now be made out. MR. FLOOD-I find myfelf little capable of speaking to this question, oppreffed as I am with fickness; not in the leaft degree expecting fuch a queftion this night; and more aftonished than ever I was in my life, to find the least fymptom of oppofition rifing on the other fide of the Houfe. The oppofition to it fhould originate here, for the refolution does not go as far as it ought to do. In Lord Townshend's administration, a refolution was propofed That the condition of this country required every practicable retrenchment to be made in it's expences;' and the administration of that day thought they had done enough, and allowed themfelves latitude fufficient, by amending it with thefe words Confiftent with the welfare thereof, and the honourable fupport of his Majefty's government;' though the refolution fo amended flood then exactly like the prefent motion. [Here the Clerk, at Mr. Flood's defire, read the former refolution.] But I think this motion ftill allows too great an inlet to public profufion. Some men will think of their own welfare, when the welfare of their country is the object, and include their own fupport within the honourable fupport of his Majesty's government-I did not, therefore, think any man on the fide of adminiftration would have oppofed the motion. I rather fuppofed they would have called out in triumph to let in pafs that they would have exulted to fee the new commons, the new country, Ireland, in it's emancipated and dig nified ftate, tolerate the nonfenfe that was current in Lord Townshend's adminiftration. I am as willing as any man to pay compliment to ministry, both here and in England; to allow them every degree of credit for their honourable intentions: I have not the fmalleft ground of animofity or refentment to them; and when I hear œconomy recommended from the throne, almoft in the words of the honourable baronet, I am astonished at an oppofition to the motion. Indeed, I believe the words of that recommenda tion were by fome accident mifplaced, or that government has not digested the plan of retrenchment-they fhould not have followed immediately the mention of the Genevan colony; a body of virtuous men, who, to avoid the most ignominious flavery, have fought an afylum in the arms of this country. It was not the proper place to ufe the word economy; it there-difgraces the virtuous and generous act of men who have juft recovered their own liberty; by placing it there, we may lofe a great deal of honour, but can fave very little money. But it is not in fuch little things we are to look for relief-our retrenchments should reach establishments-and not, like England, plunge deeper each day in ruin. Miniftry, both here and in that kingdom, have been often warned of the fatal confequences that must fol low; |