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rebels. I have omitted the introduction, as more proper for the inspection of a secretary of state; and shall only set down so much of the memoirs, as seem to be a faithful narrative of that wonderful expedition, which drew upon it the eyes of all Europe.
“HAVING thus concerted measures for a rising, we had a general meeting over a bowl of punch. It was here proposed, by one of the wisest among us, to draw up a manifesto, setting forth the grounds and motives of our taking arms; for, as he observed, there had never yet been an insurrection in England, where the leaders had not thought themselves obliged to give some reasons for it. To this end, we laid our heads together to consider what grievances the nation had suffered under the reign of King George. After having spent some hours upon this subject, without being able to discover any, we unanimously agreed to rebel first, and to find out reasons for it afterwards. It was, indeed, easy to guess at several grievances of a private nature, which influenced particular persons. One of us had spent his fortune: another was a younger brother : a third had the encumbrance of a father upon his estate. But that which principally disposed us in favour of the Chevalier was, that most of the company had been obliged to take the abjuration oath against their will. Being at length thoroughly inflamed with zeal and punch, we resolved to take horse the next morning, which we did accordingly, having been joined by a considerable reinforcement of Roman Catholics, whom we could rely upon, as knowing them to be the best Tories in the nation, and avowed enemies to Presbyterianism. We were, likewise, joined by a very useful associate, who was a fiddler by profession, and brought in with him a body of lusty young fel. lows, whom he had tweedled into the service. About the third day of our march, I was made a colonel; though I must needs say, I gained my commission by my horse's virtues, not my own; having leaped over a six-bar gate at the head of the cavalry. My general, who is a discerning man, hereupon gave me a regiment; telling me, 'He did not question but I would do the like when I came to the enemy's pallisadoes.' We pursued our march, with much intrepidity, through two or three open towns, to the great terror of the market-people, and the miscarriage of half a dozen big-bellied women. Notwithstanding the magistracy was generally against us, we could discover many friends among our spectators; particularly in two or three balconies, which were filled with several tawdry females, who are known by the ancient name of Harlots. This sort of ladies received us everywhere with great demonstrations of joy, and promised to assist us with their prayers. After these signal successes in the north of England, it was thought advisable by our general to proceed towards our Scotch confederates. During our first day's march, I amused myself with considering what post I should accept under James the Third, when we had put him in possession of the British dominions. Being a great lover of country sports, I absolutely determined not to be a minister of state, nor to be fobbed off with a garter; until at length, passing by a noble country-seat, which belongs to a Whig, I resolved to beg it; and pleased myself, the remainder of the day, with several alterations I intended to make in it. For though the situation was very delightful, I neither liked the front of the house, nor the avenues that led to it. We were, indeed, so confident of success, that I found most of my fellow-soldiers were taken up with imaginations of the same nature. There had like to have been a duel between two of our subalterns upon a dispute, which of them should be governor of Portsmouth. A Popish priest, about the same time, gave great offence to a Northumberland squire, whom he threatened to excommunicate, if he did not give up to him the church-lands, which his family had usurped ever since the Reformation. In short, every man had cut out a place for himself in his own thoughts; 80 that I could reckon up in our little army two or three lord-treasurers, half a dozen secretaries of state, and at least a score of lords-justices in Eyre, for each side of Trent. We pursued our march through several villages, which we drank dry, making proclamation at our entrance, in the name of James the Third, against all concealments of ale or brandy. Being very much fatigued with the action of a whole week, it was agreed to rest on Sunday, when we heard a most excellent sermon. Our chaplain insisted principally upon two heads. Under the first he proved to us, that the breach of public oaths is no perjury; and under the second, expounded to us the nature of non-resistance; which might be inter- . preted from the Hebrew, to signify either loyalty or rebel
lion, according as the sovereign bestowed his favours and preferments. He concluded with exhorting us, in a most pathetic manner, to purge the land by wholesome severities, and to propagate sound principles by fire and sword. We set forward the next day, towards our friends at Kelso; but by the way had like to have lost our general, and some of our most active officers. For a fox unluckily crossing the road, drew off a considerable detachment, who clapped spurs to their horses, and pursued him with whoops and halloos, till we had lost sight of them. A covey of partridges springing in our front, put our infantry into disorder on the same day. It was not long after this, that we were joined by our friends from the other side of the Frith. Upon the junction of the two corps, our spies brought us word, that they discovered a great cloud of dust at a distance; upon which we sent out a party to reconnoitre. They returned to us with intelligence, that the dust was raised by a great drove of black cattle. This news was not a little welcome to us, the army of both nations being very hungry. We quickly formed ourselves, and received orders for the attack, with positive instructions to give no quarter. Everything was executed with so much good order, that we made a very plentiful supper. We had, three days after, the same success against a flock of sheep, which we were forced to eat with great precipitation, having received advice of General Carpenter's march as we were at dinner. Upon this alarm, we made incredible stretches towards the south, with a design to gain the fastnesses of Preston. We did little remarkable in our way, except setting fire to a few houses, and frightening an old woman into fits. We had now got a long day's march of the enemy; and meeting with a considerable refreshment of October, all the officers assembled over it, among whom were several Popish lords and gentlemen, who toasted many loyal healths and confusions, and wept very plentifully for the danger of the church. We sat till midnight, and at our parting, resolved to give the enemy battle; but the next morning changed our resolutions, and prosecuted our march with indefatigable speed. We were no sooner arrived upon the frontiers of Cumberland, but we saw a great body of militia drawn up in array against us. Orders were given to halt; and a council of war was immediately called, wherein we agreed, with that great unanimity which was so remarkable among
us on these occasions, to make a retreat. But before we could give the word, the train-bands, taking advantage of our delay, fled first. We arrived at Preston without any memorable adventure ; where, after having formed many barricades, and prepared for a vigorous resistance, upon the approach of the king's troops under General Wills, who was used to the outlandish way of making war, we thought it high time to put in practice that passive obedience, in which our party so much glories, and which I would advise them to stick to for the future.”
Such was the end of this rebellion; which, in all probability, will not only tend to the safety of our constitution, but the preservation of the game.
No. 4. MONDAY, JANUARY 2, 1716.
Ne se mulier extra virtutum cogitationes, extraque bellorum casus putet,
ipsis incipientis matrimonii auspiciis admonetur, venire se laborum periculorumque sociam, idem in pace, idem in prælio passuram assuramque. Sic vivendum, sic pereundum.
Tacit. It is with great satisfaction I observe, that the women of our island, who are the most eminent for virtue and good sense, are in the interest of the present government. As the fair sex very much recommend the cause they are engaged in, it would be no small misfortune to a sovereign, though he had all the male part of the nation on his side, if he did not find himself king of the most beautiful half of his subjects. Ladies are always of great use to the party they espouse, and never fail to win over numbers to it. Lovers, according to Sir William Petty's computation, make at least the third part of the sensible men of the British nation; and it has been an uncontroverted maxim in all ages, that, though a husband is sometimes a stubborn sort of a creature, a lover is always at the devotion of his mistress. By this means, it lies in the power of every fine woman, to secure at least half a dozen able-bodied men to his Majesty's service. The female world are, likewise, indispensably necessary in the best causes, to manage the controversial part of them, in
which no man of tolerable breeding is ever able to refute them. Arguments out of a pretty mouth are unanswerable.
It is, indeed, remarkable, that the inferior tribe of common women, who are a dishonour to their sex, have, in most reigns, been the professed sticklers for such as have acted in opposition to the true interest of the nation. The most numerous converts in King James's reign, were particularly noted to be of this kind. I can give no other reason for such a behaviour, unless it be, that it is not for the advantage of these female adventurers, the laws of the land should take place, and that they know Bridewell is a part of our constitution.
There are many reasons why the women of Great Britain should be on the side of the Freeholder, and enemies to the person who would bring in arbitrary government and Popery. As there are several of our ladies who amuse themselves in the reading of travels, they cannot but take notice, what uncomfortable lives those of their own sex lead, where passive obedience is professed and practised in its utmost perfection. In those countries, the men have no property but in their wives, who are the slaves to slaves : every married woman being subject to a domestic tyrant, that requires from her the same vassalage which he pays to his sultan. If the ladies would seriously consider the evil consequences of arbitrary power, they would find, that it spoils the shape of the foot in China, where the barbarous politics of the men so diminish the basis of the female figure, as to unqualify a woman for an evening walk or country-dance. In the East Indies, a widow, who has any regard to her character, throws herself into the flames of her husband's funeral pile, to show, forsooth, that she is faithful and loyal to the memory of her deceased lord. In Persia, the daughters of Eve, as they call them, are reckoned in the inventory of their goods and chattels : and it is a usual thing, when a man sells a bale of silk or a drove of camels, to toss half a dozen women into the bargain. Through all the dominions of the Great Turk, a woman thinks herself happy, if she can get but the twelfth share of a husband, and is thought of no manner of use in the creation but to keep up a proper number of slaves for the commander of the faithful. I need not set forth the ill usage which the fair ones meet with, in those despotic governments that lie nearer us. Every one hath heard of