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JOSEPH CRADDOCK, ESQ.
ACTED AT THE
SPOKEN BY MR. QUICK.
IN these bold times when learning's sons explore
Lord, what a sultry climate am I under!
[Unper Gallery. There mangroves spread, and larger than I've seen 'em
[Pit. Here trees of stately size and billing turtles in 'em
[Balconies. Here ill-conditioned oranges abound [Stage. And apples, bitter apples strew the ground;
[Tasting them. The inhabitants are cannibals I fear : I heard a hissing-there are serpents here! O, there the people are—best keep my distance ; Our captain (gentle natives) craves assistance ; Our ship’s well stor’d-in yonder creek we've laid her, His honor is no mercenary trader. This is his first adventure, lend him aid, And we may chance to drive a thriving trade. His goods, he hopes, are prime, and brought from far, Equally fit for gallantry and war. What, no reply to promises so ample ? I'd best step back and order up a sample:
IMITATION OF DEAN SWIFT.
LOGICIANS have but ill defin'd As rational the human mind; Reason they say, belongs to man, But let them prove it if they can. Wise Aristotle and Smiglesius, By Ratiocinations specious, Have strove to prove with great precision, With definition and division, Homo est ratione preditum ; But for my soul I cannot credit 'em. And must in spite of them maintain, That man and all his ways are vain; And that this boasted lord of nature Is both a weak and erring creature. That instinct is a surer guide, Than reason, boasting mortals' pride; And that brute beasts are far before 'em, Deus est anima brutorum. Whoever knew an honest brute, At law his neighbor prosecute, Bring action for assault and battery, Or friend beguile with lies and flattery,
O'er plains they ramble unconfin’d, No politics disturb their mind; They eat their meals, and take their sport, Nor know who's in or out at court; They never to the levee go To treat as dearest friend, a foe : They never importune his Grace, Nor ever cringe to men in place: Nor undertake a dirty job, Nor draw the quill to write for Bob: Fraught with invective they ne'er go, To folks at Pater-Noster Row: No judges, fiddlers, dancing masters; No pickpockets, or poetasters, Are known to honest quadrupeds, No single brute his fellow leads, Brutes never meet in bloody fray, Nor cut each others throats for pay. Of beasts, it is confessed, the ape Comes nearest us in human shape, Like man he iinitates each fashion, And malice is his ruling passion : But both in malice and grimaces, A courtier any ape surpasses. Behold him humbly cringing wait Upon the minister of state : View him soon after to inferiors Aping the conduct of superiors : He promises with equal air, And to perform takes equal care, He in his turn finds imitators, At court, the porters, lacquies, waiters, Their master's manners still contract, And footmen, lords and dukes can act. Thus at the court, both great and"small, Behave alike, for all ape alk.