On a woman.

All women naturally are called Eves

Because from Eve all women do proceed,
And by TH. are women turn'd to theeves,
Then unto Eve if you put 7. behind,

Your woman's turn'd quite from Eve to Evel:
But place a D. before, and you shall find

That shee by doing Evell is turned Devel,

So that from Eves to Theeves, from Theeves to Evel, Women do runne untill they come to'th Devel.

Humors.

Aske Humors why a feather he doth weare?
It is his humor (by the Lord) he'le sweare.
Or what he doth with such a horse-taile locke?
Or why upon a whore hee spends his stock?
Onely a humor: if you question why,
His tongue is ne're unfurnisht with a lye.
If you perceive his wits in wetting shrunke,
It commeth of a humor to be drunke:

When you behold his lookes, pale, thin, and poor,
Th'occasion is, his humor and a whore.

Into a barbars shop there came
A carret-colour'd bearded man,
And asking for the boy Tom Baret,
Said, give me a Turn-up to my Carret.

Friendship.

A reall friend a cannon cannot batter.

With nominall friends a squib's a perilous matter.

On Giles and Ioane.

Who sayes that Giles and Joane at discord be?
Th'observing neighbours, no such mood can see :
Indeed poore Giles repents he married her,
But that his Joane doth too, & Giles would never,
By his good will, be in Joanes company,

No more would Joane he should. Giles riseth early,
And having got him out of dores is glad :

The like is Joane.
And so is Joane.

But turning home is sad,

Oft times when Giles doth find Harsh sighs at home, Giles wishes he were blind : All this doth Joane: or that his long-yearn'd life Were quite out spun, the like wish hath his wife. The children that he keepes, Giles sweares are none Of his begetting, and so sweares Joane.

In all affections she concurreth still;

If now with man and wife to will and nill
The selfe same things, a note of concord be;
I know no couple better can agree.

To Gentlewomen with black bags.

Tell mee, who taught you to give so much light
As may entice, not satisfie the sight?
Betraying what may cause us to admire,
And kindle onely lust, not quench desire.

Among your other subtilties this is one,

That you see all, and yet are seene of none.
'Tis the darke lanthorne to the face: oh then
I may conclude there's treason against men.
Whil'st thus you onely do expose your lips,
"Tis but a faire and wantoner eclipse.

Meant how you will, at once to shew and hide,
At best its but the modestie of pride.

To a proud Lady.

Is it birth puffes up thy mind?

Women best borne, are best inclin'd.

Is it thy breeding? no, I ly'd;
Women well bred are foes to pride.
Is it thy beauty foolish thing?

Lay by thy clothes there's no such thing.
Is it thy vertue, that's deny'd,

Vertue is an opposite to pride.

Nay then walke on, I'le say no more,
Who made thee proud can make thee poore.
The devill onely hath the skill,

To draw faire fooles to this fowle ill.

On Panurgus.

Panurgus pryes in high and low affairs,
He talks of forraigne, and our civill state :
But for his own, he neither counts nor cares;

That he refers to fortune and his fate,

His neighbors faults straight in his face he'l find

But in a bag he laps his own behind.

On Misus.

They say the uusurer Misus hath a mill,
Which men to powder grindeth cruelly;
But what is that to me? I feare no ill,
For smaller than I am, I cannot bee.

On a swearing Gallant.

What God commands, this wretched creature loaths, He never names his Maker, but by oaths.

And weares his tongue, of such a damned fashion,
That swearing is his only recreation.

In morning, even assoon as he doth rise,
He swears his sleep is scarcely out of's eyes;
Then makes him ready, swearing all the while,
The drowzy weather did him much beguile.
Got ready, he, to dice or tables goes,
Swearing an oath at every cast he throws.
To dinner next, and then in stead of grace,
He swears his stomack is in hungry case.
No sooner din'd, but cals, come take away,
And sweares 'tis late, he must go see a play.
There sits and swears, to all he hears and see's,
This speech is good, that action disagrees.

So takes his oars, and swears he must make hast,
His houre of supper-time is almost past.

On a Mother and her son having but two eyes betwixt them, each one.

A half blind-boy, born of a half blind mother.
Peerelesse for beauty, save compar'd to th'other;

Faire boy, give her thine eye and she will prove
The queen of beauty, thou the god of love.

To his quill.

Thou hast been wanton, therefore it is meet,
Thou shouldst do penance do it in a sheet.

Of Christ crucified.

When red the sun goes down, we use to say

It is a signe, we shall have a faire day :

Blood red the Sun of Heaven went down from hence

And we have had faire weather ever since.

Vpon Thorough-good an unthrift.

Thy sir name Thorough-good befitteth thee,

Thou Thorough-good, and good goes thorough thee
Nor thou in good, nor good in thee doth stay,
Both of you, thorough go, and passe away.

In Amorem.

Love, if a god thou art, then evermore thou must
Be mercifull and just,

If just thou be, O wherefore doth thy dart,
Wound mine alone, and not my mistrisse heart?
If mercifull, then why am I to paine reserv'd,
Who have thee truly serv'd?

While shee that for thy power cares not a fly,
Laughs thee to scorn, and lives at liberty:
Then if a god thou wilt accounted be,
Heale me like her, or else wound her like me.