"Interr'd beneath this marble stone

Lie sauntering JACK and idle JOAN.
While rolling threescore years and one
Did round this globe their courses run:
If human things went ill or well,
If changing empires rose or fell,
The morning past, the evening came,
And found this couple still the same.

They walk'd, and ate, good folks; what then?
Why, then they walk'd and ate again.
They soundly slept the night away,
They did just nothing all the day;
And having buried children four,
Would not take pains to try for more.
Nor sister either had, nor brother;
They seem'd just tally'd for each other.
Their moral and economy
Most perfectly they made agree;
Each virtue kept its proper bound,
Nor trespass'd on the other's ground.
Nor fame, nor censure they regarded;
They neither punish'd nor rewarded.
He cared not what the footman did;
Her maids she neither prais'd nor chid;

So every servant took his course,

And bad at first they all grew worse.

Slothful disorder fill'd his stable,

And sluttish plenty deck'd her table.

Their Beer was strong; their wine was Port;
Their meal was large; their grace was short.

They gave the poor the remnant meat,

Just when it grew not fit to eat.

They paid the church and parish rate,

And took, but read not the receipt ;

For which they claim'd their Sunday's due,
Of slumbering in an upper pew.

No man's defects sought they to know,
So never made themselves a foe:
No man's good deeds did they commend,
So never rais'd themselves a friend.
Nor cherish'd they relations poor;
That might decrease their present store:
Nor barn nor house did they repair;
That might oblige their future heir.

They neither added nor confounded;
They neither wanted, nor abounded.
Each Christmas they accounts did clear,
And wound their bottom round the year.
Nor smile nor tear did they employ
At news of public grief or joy.

When bells were rung, and bonfires made,
If ask'd, they ne'er denied their aid:
Their jug was to the ringers carried,
Whoever either died or married:
Their billet at the fire was found,

Whoever was deposed or crown'd.

Nor good, nor bad, nor fools, nor wise,
They would not learn, nor could advise :
Without love, hatred, joy, or fear,

They led

-a kind of- -as it were:

Nor wish'd, nor cared, nor laugh'd nor cried;
And so they lived, and so they died."

In Rushden church, Northamptonshire, is a finely sculptured marble monument to the memory of ROBERT PEMBERTON, Esq., and his lady :—

"She died 30th July in the yeare of grace 1608, he 18th April

1609.

What man and wife were, or may after be,
Onnto the other, (even such two were we ;)
Full forty years we husband were and wife,
All which faire time we lived without a strife;
And on our deathbeds it was hardly geste,
Which had to other greater love exprest:
I kind and loving to her, to me thus
She tender-hearted, myld, and vertuous;

We had eight children to augment our joyes,-
For her four daughters, and for me four boyes;
By God's grace we soe evenly were payrd,
As that in sexes equally we shar'd:
Not a year after that to heaven she went,
But me my Maker thether to her sent."

In Saint Michael's churchyard, Norwich, on JOHN BAKER and PRISCILLA his wife, and 10 of their children who died in their_infancy :—

"He died February 10th, 1827.

She first deceased, he for a little tried
To live without her-

-liked it not-and died."

In the parish church of Colmworth, Bedfordshire, is a very magnificent monument, erected in 1641, by Lady Dyer, in memory of her deceased husband, Sir WM. DYER, Knight, upon which are inscribed the following lines:

"My dearest dust, could not thy hasty day
Afford thy drowsy patience leave to stay
One hour longer, so that we might either
Have sat up or gone to bed together?

But since thy finished labour hath possessed
Thy weary limbs with early rest,
Enjoy it sweetly and thy widow bride
Shall soon repose her by thy slumbering side;
Whose business now is only to prepare
My nightly dress, and call to prayer.

Mine eyes wax heavy, and the day grows old ;-
The dew falls thick; my blood grows cold.-
Draw, draw the closed curtains, and make room,
My dear, my dearest dust, I come, I come!"

Monument in the parish church of Benson, Oxfordshire :

"M. S.

To the pious memory

Of RALPH QUELCHE and his wife

bed by the space of 40 years.
grave till Ct. shall awaken them.

}

who slept
now sleepe

together in 1

the new Inn twice built at yr. own chard.
one only son and two daughters.

Their son being liberally bred in ye University of Oxon,
Thought himself bound to erect this small monument

{

On STEPHEN and MARY his wife :

"Here lies honest STEPHEN with MARY his bride, Who merrily lived, and cheerfully died;

[able, They laughed and they loved, and drank while they were But now they are forced to knock under the table. This marble which formerly served them to drink on, Now covers their bodies-a sad thing to think on, That do what one can to moisten our clay, 'Twill one day be ashes, and moulder away."

In Chatham churchyard a man had buried two wives; after stating the name and age of the first, he added::"The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord."

(In a few years his second wife died: and following her name and age, is ) :—

"I called upon the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me out of all my troubles."

In Bremhill churchyard, Wiltshire, on an old man and his wife (by the Rev. W. L. Bowles, the poet, vicar of Bremhill):

"My Father-my poor Mother-both are gone

And o'er your cold remains I place this stone.
In memory of your virtues. May it tell

How long one parent lived; and both how well.
And of my Mother A memorial be,

Of all I owe in this sad world to thee:
How poor, alas! this tribute to thy love
Whose best and brightest Record is above."

*The father lived to be 87.