say'd at dinner that 'twas a very good sermon, but halfe on't would have done well cold.'

*** This sermon must have been preached by the rector of Bibury, of whom Fosbroke, in his British Monachism, speaking on the subject of hour glasses as furniture for pulpits, tells us, he used always to preach two hours, regularly turning the glass. After the text, the 'squire of the parish withdrew, smoked his pipe, and returned to the blessing.

WITHIN AN ACE ON'T,

A falconer of Sir Robert Mordant's not knowing his dogges name, called one of them Cinque whose name was Sice, and my cozen Harry Mordant telling him his error, Faith, Sir,' says he, 'twas well I came so neare: I am sure I was within an ace on't.'

'DOD THE DECALOGIST.

'One Dod, who was nephew to the minister who wrote upon the commandments, went up and down Paule's Church-yard amongst the stationers, enquiring for his unkle upon the commandments.'

*

The uncle of this simple gentleman, who was unquestionably the party recorded in Joe Miller as having inquired at the post office for a letter from his father in the country,' was the celebrated Hebrew scholar John Dod, of Jesus College, Cambridge. He was an eminent Puritan divine; and from his Exposition of the Ten Commandments here alluded to, and which he wrote in conjunction with Robert Cleaver, he was commonly called the Decalogist.

'ONE GOOD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER.

'Sir Martin Stuteville's father riding abroade one day, with him attending on him, he rode by the nurse's house that over-laide his eldest sonne, at which time the nurse stoode at the dorre: Looke you there, Martin,' sayde his father, there stands she that made you an elder brother.' Is that she, Sir,' says he, marry God's blessing on her heart for it!' and presently gallopps up to her and gives her a couple of shillings.'

'A GOOD EXPOSITION.

The Archbishop of Canterbury had an house by Croydon, pleasantly sited, but that it was too much wood-bound, so he cutt downe all upon the front to the high-way. Not long after the Lord Chancellor Bacon riding by that way, ask't his man whose faire house that was. He told him my Lord of Canterburie's.' 'It is not possible,' says he, for his building is environed with woode.' 'Tis true, Sir,' says he, it was so, but he hath lately cut most of it downe.' By my troth,' answered Bacon, he has done very judiciously, for before methought it was a very obscure and darke place, but now he has expounded and cleared it up wonderfully well.'

6

There was one Mr. Guybon, a gentleman of very weak understand

ing, but yet in commission, who having often publish't his folly upon the bench, at last sayes a sly plaine fellow to another, I pray, Sir, was not Mr. Guybon borne a Justice of Peace?' as, if his office had not descended upon him with his estate, by right of inheritance, sure no one would ever have made him one.'

'A SPECIAL ENTAIL.

The Lord Chief Justice Richardson went with Mr. Mewtis, the Clarke of the Councell, to see his fine house at Gunnoss-bury, which was furnish't with many pretty knacks and rarities. My lord view'd all, and lik't it well, but, Mr. Mewtis,' says he, if you and I upon the price, I must have all your fooleries and bables into the bargaine.' Why, my lord,' says he, for those I will not stand with you. They may e'ene be entail'd, if you please, upon you and your heires.'

6

" HONESTY REWARDED.

agree

A gentleman overtakes in the evening a plaine country fellow, and ask't him how far it was to such a towne. Tenne miles, Sir,' says he. 'It is not possible,' sayes the gentleman. It is no lesse,' says the fellow. I tell you it was never counted above five.' 6 "Tis tenne

indeed, Sir,' says the fellow,-and thus they were arguing pro and con a long time. At last says the countryman to him, I'le tell you what I'le do, Sir, because you seeme to be an honest gentleman, and your horse is almost tyr'd, I will not stand with you, you shall have it for five, but as I live whosoever comes next shall ride tenne.'

Dr. Love told Dr. Collins, Nay, wee know well enough what you are (insinuating his Arminianism): for you disputed both wayes.' Nay,' sayes Collins, for that very reason you don't know what I

am.'

6

" THE LAW AND THE GOSPEL.

'One Dr. Warren, a divine in degree and profession, yet seldome in the pulpitt or church, but a justice of peace and very pragmaticall in secular business; having a fellow before him good refractorie, and stubborne, Well, sirrha,' says he, 'goe your wayes. I'le teach you law, I'le warrant you.' Sir,' sayes he, I had rather your worshippe would teach us some gospell.'

DRINKING deep.

• One ask't Sir John Millesent how he did so conforme himselfe to the grave justices his brothers, when they mett. Why, in faith,' sayes he, I have no way but to drinke myselfe downe to the capacitie of the bench.'

'VERY HUNGRY INDEED.

Says one that was very empty and hungry, If I gett not some victuals, my stomach gnawes so, as I thinke it will eate me up.'

6 CATHEDRAL MUSIC.

'One coming into a cathedrall whose quire consisted of very ill voices, and made a lamentable noise, said, 'Sure the prophecy of Amos was there fulfilled, cap. viii., v. 3: And the songs of the temple shall be howlings.'

DOUBLE DAMAGES.

A fellow was censured to the pillorie, and his head being in, he raised himself on his tippe. toes, and the foot-ledge brake, being old, rotten, and disus'd, and there the poore wretch hung by the necke in danger of his life; after his penance, he brings his action against the towne for the insufficience of the pillorie, and recovers against them.

'A GREAT DIFFERENCE.

In Lynne their Maior is always chosen out of the twelve aldermen, and they out of eighteen others. One of the eighteen being at Rising (an ancient but decayed burrow-towne), and the then Maior a mechanicke man, a butcher or the like, sayes he: Mr. Maior, I hear you have a very odd forme and manner of election here of your Maior.' Why how is that?' sayes the Maior. Why, they say for certain that you and all your brethren goe into a barne, where every man hath his bottle of hay layde him for a cushion: then ther's a calf turned in at the barne dore, and look to what bottle the calfe goe first, hee's the man.' Why, then,' sayes he, I see the difference betwixt us and our brethren at Lynne; wee choose with one calf, and you with eighteene.'

'A REASONABLE MOTION.

A motion being made in the House of Commons that such as were chosen to serve in the parliament troopes should be faithfull and skillfull riders, Mr. Waller's opinion was demanded, who approved the forme of it as excellente, for,' sayes he, 'it is most necessary the riders be faithfull least they runne away with their horses, and skilfull least their horses runne away with them!'

"THE RETORT UNCOURTEOUS.

'A gentleman that had mighty large and retorted Austrian lipps, comming from the barber's, ask't his familiar friend how he lik't his trimming, 'Y'faith very well,' sayes he, but that he has turned up thy lipps instead of thy beard.'

'A POOR NOBLEMAN.

Sir Jostlin Percy, being told that the Councell had fined him 1000 markes, laught exceedingly at it. One ask't him the reason. He answered that The Privy Councell were so wise as they knew where to find 1000 markes; for hang me if I know where to find 1000 pence,' sayes he.

ARCHEE, THE JESTER.

King James was complaining one time of the leannesse of his

6

Hunting Horse, and swore by his sole he could see no reason but his should be as fat as any of his subjects; for he bestow'd upon him as good feeding, keeping, and as easy riding as any one did, and yet the jade was leane. Archee his foole, standing by, told him, If that be all, take no care: I'll teach your Majestie a way to raise his flesh presently; and if he be not as fat as ever he wallow, you shall ride me.' 'I pry'thee, foole, how?' sayde the king. Why, doe but make him a Bishoppe, and I'll warrant you,' sayes Archee.

'A DRAUGHT HORSE.

'A scholler riding his horse hott into the water to drinke, scarce up to the fetlock, one wisht him to goe in deeper (least he foundered his horse); Hang him, jade;' sayes he, let him drink up this first.'

'A GLASS TOO LITTLE.

Capt. Robert Bacon, revelling at Sir W. Paston's, had his sack served him in a curious Venice glass, but very much under the size that he us❜d to trade in. And after a long contemplation of his measure ‘Sir William,' sayes he, if you value this glasse (as I beleeve you doe), tye a good long string to it, to draw him up againe, for I shall swallow him down at one time or another.'

As we have already spoken at some length of Robert Bacon, in the note to No. XII., our fittest illustration to the present story will, perhaps, be found in a somewhat similar anecdote.

The manager of a Scotch theatre, at which Kean was playing Macbeth, seeing him greatly exhausted towards the close of the performance, offered him some whiskey in a small thistle-glass, saying at the same time, by way of encouragement, 'Take that Mr. Kean; take that, sir. It is the real mountain dew; that will never hurt you, sir!' 'No,' said Kean, with a significant glance at the homeopathic dose, No; that I'll be sworn it would'nt—if it was vitriol !'

A PROFITABLE EXPERIMENT.

'A sturdie vagrant, on the high way, begged good-sawcily on Sir Drue Drurie. Ay, sirrha,' sayes he, such as you make all your kinne fare the worse; for this is your fashion, deny ye but once (though happily not in earnest), a man's back is no sooner turn'd but ye curse him to the pitt of hell.' Ah, sir,' sayes he, 'your worship is mistaken in me, I am none of those.' 'I'faith,' sayes Sir Drue, 'I'le try thee for this once,' and away he rides.

6 WHERE THE WISE MEN CAME FROM.

'Sands, a gentleman of a bold spirit and witt, being called to shrift by Lenthall (then Speaker to the House of Commons), and some ridiculous and impertinent interrogations put to him, was ask't at last what countriman he was. 'Of Kent,' sayes he, for I will neither blush at my name or native soyle; and now, sir, I pray let me demand the same from you?' I am out of the West,' sayes Lenthall. By

،

my troth,' sayes Sands, so I thought, for I am sure all the wise men came out of the East.'

6 AN ILL PROPHECY.

'Old Fram. Gawdey, walking with a young gallant in London streets, that us'd to be most vainly prodigall in his habit and dresse, and finding that the splendour of his comrade drew such a goodly traine of beggars, whose broken consort quite confounded the harmonie of their private and their serious discourse; and perceiving that they. would not desist or disperse, after many thundering oaths and execrations from the gallant, Fram turns about very soberly, and sayes, 'Good people, be quiet, and let the gentleman alone, for hee's a very sociable and sweet natured man; and I'll be bound he shall keepe you company within one twelvemonth.'

'A GOOD SERMON BAD IN ITS EFFECTS.

A minister having preached a very long sermon, as his custom was, some hours after ask't a gentleman his approbation of it; he replyed that, "Twas very good, but that it had spoyled a goose worth two of it.''

We think the Camden Society likely to prove eminently useful to literature; especially if they proceed in their selection of the MSS. to be published, with due deliberation. We beg leave to suggest to them the propriety of publishing some of the hitherto unedited Anglo-Saxon MSS., than which they could not confer a greater benefit on Anglo-Saxon scholars. Interspersed with their graver works, they might now and then publish a volume from the immense mass of familiar letters of distinguished men, hitherto concealed in the archives of the British Museum. Familiar letters are always amongst the most amusing portions of literature, and besides being amusing, seldom fail to contain interesting matter, both biographical and historical. We heartily wish the Society all success.

Art. VII. Travels in South Eastern
Stations, and a full account of the
HOWARD MALCOM, of Boston.
Street, 1839.

Asia, with notices of Missionary Burman Empire. By the Rev. 2 vols. London: Tilt, Fleet

PERHAPS
PS no country under the wide expanse of heaven,

possesses so many powerful claims on the attention of the student of the world's great family as Hindustan. The extent of her territory, the luxurious prodigality of her soil, the magnificence of her ocean streams, the unparalleled altitude of her