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acid, he states that the "vital spark is extinct," and that not the smallest hopes are entertained of the unfortunate gentleman's recovery. A lady's bag is barbarously stolen from her arm by a monster in the human form." A thunder-storm is described as having "visited" the metropolis, and the memory of the oldest inhabitant furnishes no parallel to the ravages of the "electric fluid." A new actress " surpasses the most sanguine expectations" of the public, and exhibits talents "that have seldom been equalled, never excelled.” A new book is not simply published, it "emanates from the press. On the demise of a person of eminence, it is confidently averred that he had a hand open as day to melting charity," and that "take him for all in all, we ne'er shall look upon his like again." Two objects not immediately connected are sure to be "far as the poles asunder;" although they are very easily brought together and reconciled in the reader's mind by the convenience of the phrase "as it were," which is an especial favourite, and constantly in request. He is a great admirer of amplitude of title, for palpable reasons; as when he reports, that "Yesterday the Right Honourable Lord John Russell, M. P., his Majesty's Secretary of State for the Home Department, dined with," &c. He is wonderfully expert in the measurement of hailstones, and in the calculation of the number of panes of glass which they demolish in their descent. He is acquainted with the exact circumference of every gooseberry that emulates the plenitude of a pumpkin; and can at all times detect a phenomenon in every private family, by simply reckoning up the united ages of its various members. But in the discharge of these useful duties, for the edification and amusement of the public, he employs, in the general course of things, but one set of phrases. If a

fire can be rendered more picturesque by designating it the "devouring element," the devouring element rages in the description to the end of the chapter. Once a hit always a hit; a good thing remains good for ever; a happy epithet is felicitous to the last. The only variation of style that he can be prevailed upon to attempt, he introduces in his quotations. To these he often gives an entirely new aspect, and occasionally, by accident, he improves upon the originals. Of this, the following may stand as a specimen :

""Tis not in mortals to deserve success;

But we'll do more, Sempronius, we'll command it.

THE CREDITOR.

Ir has been remarked by a living writer, a moralist as well as a wit, that it is most absurdly the custom among all ranks to designate the debtor, the " poor debtor," and the "unfortunate debtor;" while, by equally general consent, the creditor is styled the "grasping," the "hard-hearted," and the "relentless." We gratefully pay in an instalment to the stock of proof, that the creditor is herein infamously libelled whether the debtor be rightfully designated or not.

We have seen many creditors; we have met them often in life, by accident; seldom by appointment, for appointments with creditors are rarely kept. And of them all, without exception, we can honestly declare that they were fellows truly worthy of giving credit; kind, sensible, polite souls, whose books it was quite a pleasure to remain in. It is really a pity to pay such people; you deprive them thereby of so many opportunities of showing their excellent qualities, and their continued claims upon your custom. Payment can

only be completely justified by being coupled with a condition that you immediately run a much larger score, and take longer time. To offer them ready money is to narrow their chances of doing that which they were expressly sent into the world to do.

Such creditors have we seen, and few of any other class. Now and then you may find a "a hard-hearted creditor," one whom a long course of prosperity has petrified; whom singular good fortune in collecting his debts easily has rendered impatient to the exception; you may stumble occasionally on a " relentless" creditor, one who would rather receive a small part of his account than fifty excuses, who has no taste for ingenious evasions, who actually expects you not merely to make a promise, but to keep it; who stupidly supposes that you are to pay him because the money is due, and who then proceeds to what he calls proceedings against you. But, depend upon it, if you ever come into collision with such a burlesque of a man of business, you will find him young in trade, inexperienced in the art of dunning, and unused to giving credit. He knows nothing of the duties of a creditor, and your best plan will be to pay him at once, and have done with him; getting his receipt, and having it framed and glazed, unless you like to keep out of his way until he gets more versed in his calling, and sees the absurdity of his applications.

But out of the way of the creditor who knows himself, and who deserves the distinction of having a round of debtors, you never can have occasion to get. Never avoid him if you wish to spare him the trouble of writing a receipt. Perhaps you, like Romeo

But is that a reason why you should skulk past his

door on the other side of the way, or dive down a turning to evade him, instead of nodding at him as you pass, as though you knew his worth and put trust in him as an honest fellow? If you see your creditor at a distance, walk boldly up to him, and as you go by, hope his rheumatism is better; if he be about to stop you, seem to stop him, and, before he can remind you that you faithfully promised to pay him three weeks ago, hint to him that he has neglected sending in your account, and that you must have it by the twenty-fifth of next month. Tell him to call for the amount on that day. You need not be not at home, for he won't come. We have said that appointments with creditors are seldom kept; it is the fault, we do not hesitate to say so, it is the fault of the creditor, he thinks it hardly worth while to attend. Some years ago punctuality was exceedingly prevalent amongst all classes of duns ; they knocked as the clock struck; you were sure of their visit if they promised to call. But the system has changed with the times; and you may now desire your tailor to call at twelve on Tuesday, with a perfect reliance on his non-attendance, unless you want, not to diminish, but to lengthen his account, by another order. People used to feel quite happy when they discovered a creditor who was content with calling once a day; a patient, civil creature, who was satisfied with knocking till he was tired; a fine fellow of the comeagain school: but now, in such a case, your thoughts would recur to a horsewhip, or the police; the most moderate course you could take would be to address a letter of complaint to the "Morning Herald."

Lest it should be thought by somebody who has happened to meet with a hard-hearted suitor once in his life, that compassionate creditors are scarce, we shall establish the existence of this class, by introducing a

specimen of a set still further removed from the "grasping" and "relentless" few. Our specimen is the most diffident and gentle-minded creature living; he is therefore marked out for a creditor; and he is one, in fifty places which he scrupulously avoids. He takes a thousand times more pains to get out of the way of a debtor, than some people foolishly take to escape the glance of a creditor. He would not meet a man who owes him money for the world, lest it should be voluntarily tendered, or he should be supposed capable of asking for it. Twice only has he been wrought upon to do this; we played the lever in both cases. In the first, knowing his timid and irresolute character, we urged him to apply for payment of a considerable sum which had been long due, and only wanted asking for. To call would be better than to write, but he would write. One morning he astonished us by a specific and decided announcement; we could hardly believe him; "Well, I've written to Tomlinson." He received in return thousands of compliments and congratulations on his nerve and resolution; he had done wonders, and the thing seemed settled. But three weeks after this, we were again startled by the same announcement- "Well, I've written to Tomlinson !" "Written! Why you said you had written three weeks ago." "Yes," was the explanation, "Yes, I know, and so I did, but I didn't send the letter!" To write that letter was a giant effort; to put it into the post required three weeks' thought, self-communion, composure, and deliberation.

Pen and ink applications were evidently hopeless. He must be screwed up, for once at any rate, to a personal visit; and on another debtor of his, one not likely to pay unsolicited, we boldly determined he should call; yes, actually knock at the door, enter the family