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I was laughing with him a quarter of an hour ago; he was making all sorts of quaint remarks on the chaise that came for Mr. Frampton, and poking fun at the post-boy-Where is he?"

"Eh? wait a bit, I'll tell you directly; he had a letter brought him just as Governor Frampton started, and as he cast his eye over it, he first got as red as a carrot, then he turned as pale as a turnip, and bolted off into the library like a lamplighter, where he sits looking as if he had been to the wash, and come back again only half-starched."

"That's better than if he were 'terribly mangled,' to carry on your simile," returned I; "but didn't you ask him what was the matter?"

"Eh? no, I've made such a mess of things lately, that I thought I'd better leave it alone, for that I was safe to put my foot in it one way or other, so I came and told you instead."

"Well, we'll see about it," replied I, turning towards the library; "perhaps he has received some bad news from home: his father or mother may be ill."

On entering the room we perceived Coleman seated in one of the windows, his head resting on his hand, looking certainly particularly miserable, and altogether unlike himself. So engrossed was he that he never heard our approach, and I had crossed the room, and was close to him before he perceived me; consequently, the first word I uttered made him jump violently,—an action which elicited from Lawless a sotto voce exclamation of, "Steady there, keep a tight hand on the near rein; well, that was a shy!"

"Freddy," began I, "I did not mean to startle you so; but is anything the matter, old fellow?"

"You've frightened me out of six months' growth," was the reply; "matter!—what should make you think that?”

"Well, if you must know," returned Lawless," I told him I thought there was a screw loose with you, and I haven't changed my mind about it yet either. Any unsoundness shown itself at home, eh? I thought your Governor looked rather puffy about the pasterns the last time I saw him, besides being touched in the wind, and your mother has got a decided strain of the back sinews." "No, they're well enough," replied Freddy, with a faint smile. "Then you've entered your affections for some maiden stakes, and the favourite has bolted with a Cornet of horse?"

"That's more like it," returned Coleman, "though you've not quite hit it yet—but I'll tell you, man, if it's any satisfaction to you

to hear that others are as unlucky as yourself, or worse, for what I know. I'm not greatly given to the lachrymose and sentimental, in a general way, but I must confess this morning to a little touch of the heartache. You see, Frank," he continued, turning to me, "there's my cousin Lucy Markham, the little girl with the black eyes

"You forget that she was staying with us last week,” interrupted I.

"To be sure she was," resumed Freddy; "this vile letter has put everything out of my head,—well, she and I,—we've known each other since we were children-in fact, for the last four or five years she has nearly lived with us, and there's a great deal in habit, and propinquity, and all that sort of thing. 'Man was not made to live alone,' and I'm sure woman wasn't either, for they would have nobody to exercise their tongues upon, and would die from repletion of small-talk, or a pressure of gossip on the brain, or some such thing;—and so a complication of all these causes led us in our romantic moments to indulge in visions of a snug little fireside, garnished with an intelligent household cat, and a bright copper tea-kettle, with ourselves seated one in each corner, regarding the scene with the complacent gaze of proprietors; and we were only waiting till my father should fulfil his promise of taking me into partnership, to broach the said scheme to the old people, and endeavour to get it realized. But lately there has been a fat fool coming constantly to our house, who has chosen to fancy Lucy would make him a good fooless; and although the dear girl has nearly teased, snubbed, and worried him to the borders of insanity, he has gone on persevering with asinine obstinacy, till he has actually dared to pop the question."

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"Well, let her say 'no' as if she meant it," said Lawless: men can, if they like, eh? and then it will all be as right as ninepence. Eh! don't you see?"

"Easier said than done, Lawless, unfortunately," replied Coleman; "my fat rival is the son of an opulent drysalter, and last year he contrived to get rid of his father."

"Dry-salted him, perhaps?" suggested Lawless.

"The consequence is," continued Coleman, not heeding the interruption, "he is as rich as Croesus; now Lucy hasn't a penny, and all her family are as poor as rats, so what does he do but go to my father, promises to settle no-end of tin on her, and ends by asking him to manage the matter for him. Whereupon the

Governor sends for Lucy, spins her a long yarn about duty to her family, declares she'll never get a better offer, and winds up by desiring her to accept the dolt forthwith; and Lucy writes to me, poor girl! to say she's in a regular fix, and thinks she'd better die of a broken heart on the spot, unless I can propose any less distressing but equally efficient alternative."

"What does your Governor say? that she'll never have a better offer?" asked Lawless.

"Yes," replied Freddy, "and, in the common acceptation of the term, I'm afraid it's a melancholy truth."

"Hum! yes, that'll do," continued Lawless, meditatively. "Freddy, I've thought of a splendid dodge, by which we may obtain the following advantages. Imprimis, selling the Governor no end; secundis, insuring me a jolly lark,-and 'pon my word I require a little innocent recreation to raise my spirits; and, lastly, enabling you to marry your cousin, and thus end, as the pantomimes always do, with a grand triumph of virtue and true love over tyranny and oppression! So now, listen to me!"

CHAPTER LI.

LAWLESS ASTONISHES MR. COLEMAN.

"Now, all your writers do consent that ipse is he; now, are you not ipse, for I am he? "Which he, sir?

"He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown, abandon-which is, in the vulgar, leave the society-which, in the boorish, is company of this female-which, in the common, is woman--which together, is abandon the society of this female; or clown *** I will o'errun thee with policy; therefore tremble, and depart."-As You Like It.

"As far as I understand the matter," said Lawless, nodding sapiently, "the great obstacle to your happiness is the drysalter, and the chief object you desire to attain is his total abolition, eh?”

Coleman assenting to these premises, Lawless continued, "Supposing, by certain crafty dodges, this desirable consummation arrived at, if you could show your Governor that you had four or five hundred pounds a-year of your own to start with, one of his main objections to your union with this female young woman would be knocked on the head?"

"My good fellow," returned Freddy, with a slight tone of annoyance, "I'm as fond of a joke as any man, but when I tell you that I am foolish enough to take this matter somewhat deeply to heart, —that if Lucy is forced to marry the brute, she'll be wretched for life, and I shall not be much otherwise,-I think you'll choose some other subject for your mirth."

"Why, Freddy, old boy, you don't suppose I'm poking fun at you, do you? Why, I would not do such a thing at any price-no! 'pon my honour, I'm as serious as a judge, I am indeed; but the best way will be to tell you my plan at once, and then you'll see the logic of the thing. In the first place, your Governor says that Lucy is to marry the drysalter, because he's the best offer she's ever likely to have, doesn't he?"

"Yes, that's right enough, so far," replied Freddy.

"What's the drysalter worth? whereabouts is the figure?" "Two thousand a-year, they say," returned Freddy with a sigh.

"And I shall come into nearer five, in a month's time," returned Lawless; "got the whip hand of him there, and no mistake." "You!" exclaimed Coleman, astonished.

66 Eh, yes! I, my own self-the Honourable George Lawless, at your service, age five-and-twenty-height five feet nine-rides under ten stone-sound wind and limb-£5,000 per annum, clear income, and a peerage in perspective,―ain't that better than a drysalter, eh?"

66 Why, Lawless, you are gone stark staring mad," interrupted I; "what on earth has all that got to do with Freddy and his cousin ?

"Don't stop him," cried Coleman, "I begin to see what he is aiming at."

"Eh! of course you do, Freddy, boy," continued Lawless, “and it's not such a bad dodge either, is it? Your Governor lays down the broad principle, that the highest bidder shall be the purchaser, and on this ground backs the drysalter;—now, if I drive over this morning, propose in due form for your cousin's hand, and outbid the aforesaid drysalting individual, the Governor must either sacrifice his consistency, or accept my offer."

"Well, and suppose he does, what good have you done then?" asked I.

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Eh, good?" returned Lawless, "every good, to be sure; and first and foremost knocked over the drysalter;-if I'm accepted, he must be rejected, that's a self-evident fact. Well, once get rid of him, and it's all plain sailing :-I find a hundred reasons for delaying to fulfil my engagement; in a month's time, I come into my property, (the jolly old aunt who left it me, tied it up till I was fiveand-twenty-and the old girl showed her sense too, for ten to one I should have made ducks and drakes of it when I was young and foolish ;) very well-I appoint Freddy agent and receiver of the rents (the fellow that has it now, makes £500 a-year of it, they tell me); and then, suddenly change my mind, jilt Miss Markham, and if Governor Coleman chooses to cut up rough, he may bring an action of "breach of promise," lay the damages at £5,000, and so get a nice little round sum to buy the young woman's wedding clothes when she marries Freddy. That's the way to do business, isn't it, eh?"

"Pon my word it's a grand idea," said Coleman; "how came you ever to think of it? But, my dear Lawless, are you really in earnest about the receivership?"

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