CHAP. II.

HE DESCRIES HER FROM AFAR.

Such was the Exclamation which issued from the Perfumed Mustachios of Mr. Ascanius Eggs, as from afar he descried a Lady ascending the Marble steps of a Palatial Brown-Stone edifice. "Hah!" said he once again, even more vehemently than before. For now, having reached the Mahogany Door, and having applied her delicately Kid-gloved hand to the Silver Bell-pull, she turned her radiantly Beautiful visage to Mr. Eggs, and, apparently, bowed in recognition of him.

He hastened his steps to within a degree of almost Culpable Rapidity, with the view of returning the recognition of his Fair Acquaintance, but (so the Perverse Deities decreed) ere he could bring the Female object within the Focus of his Limited Vision, she disappeared, and the Mahogany Door was shut. Aye! in his very face!

Applying a Gold-rimmed Eye-glass to his Left Optic, he scrutinized the Door. Name, there was none thereon-proof Conclusive that the Owner thereof belonged to the Superior X.

Did she live there? Probably not. Was it some of his Many Female friends? Probably not. Was it a Total Female Stranger? Probably not. And yet possibly she was.

Why these "probably nots," and why this "possibly?"

She did not probably live there, because he had never entered the House, and was not even acquainted with its residents. It was probably not one of his Many Female Acquaintances, because None of them, to the Best of his recollection, had Half so Magnificent a Figure, for Never Before, in all the Wide Range of Mr. Eggs' experience, had a Figure caused him to ejaculate "Hah!" It was probably not a Total Female Stranger, for it was Unreasonable to Suppose that the City contained Such a Figure and that such Figure was Entirely unknown to Mr. Eggs. And yet possibly she was a Total Female Stranger, because she might have come from the

Country and have been but a few days in Town.

NOTE A. I would call the Particular Attention of the Neophyte in Novelling to the heading of the foregoing Chapter. The words, "He Descries Her from Afar," possess the Highest Artistic Merit, for they set the Dramatic Novelling Movement in active motion. A most Attractive Exclamation is heard; with that Exclamation the first Chapter closes Instantaneously; but the very heading of the next Chapter discloses the Fact that a Male and Female are implicated, and I need hardly say that without a Male and Female, No Successful Effort in Novelling has ever been, or ever can be achieved. (See Wufficks's Pemmican, ante.) Mr. Ascanius Eggs is the Pemmican John of the Model Novel. Who the Pemmican Jane of the Model Novel is, will soon be seen. I need not dilate upon the Advantages of setting the Dramatic Movement in motion at the earliest Possible moment. This is important, even in the Most Amplified Effort at Novelling, since it is Evident that the Sooner the reader's Interest is awakened the Better.

NOTE B. The very Eminent Politeness discovered throughout Chapter II., should by no means be overlooked. Mr. Ascanius Eggs is seen to wear Perfumed Mustachios (not Mustaches) and a Goldrimmed Eye-glass-Indirect and hence Artistic Marks of the High Social Circle to which he belongs. He descries a Lady with a Radiantly Beautiful Face and a Magnificent Figure, ascending the Marble steps of a Palatial Brown-Stone edifice. Thus the Characters and the Scenery are in Keeping-that is, they are alike, Vastly Genteel.

There are a number of Other Such Delicate Touches, which the Tutor, Teacher, Professor, or President of a College, or an Academy, or an University of Novelling, will not fail to Detect and Point Out to the Student of an Obtuse or Uneducated understanding.

NOTE C. The expression, "the Superior X," is nothing more than a Little Variation, the occasional use of which adds something to the pleasures of Novel

ling, by relieving the reader of Stereotype Phrases and opening up an Avenue for the exercise of the writer's Ingenuity. The true meaning of the term is "the Upper Ten." In this form, I trust it will be generally recognized.

NOTE D. Chapter II. closes amidst many anxious and important Conjectures-thus gently exciting the reader Onward and Preparing the Way for Chapter III. The Conjectural Method of Chapter-Terminations should be Studiously practised.

CHAP. III.

PERPLEXMENT OF MR. EGGS.

It would have been Grossly Indelicate in Mr. Eggs (do not forget to pronounce it Agz) to have effected an entrance into the Palatial Brown-Stone edifice of the Fair Unknown by Burglarious Violence. Also it would have been Indelicate to Hang About the House in hope of ascertaining from a Butler, a Biddy, or any other Employé of the Establishment, who the Owner thereof was, and Who the Beautiful Being who had just entered might be. Therefore, bestowing one more and Very Minute Eye-glass Scrutinization on the Premises and the Adjacent Establishments, he departed Politely thence to his Own Residence, in a state of High Perplexment.

Arrived in his Boudoir,* he doffed his Cumbrous Outer Garments and arrayed himself in a Dressing Gown.† Then, subsiding Elegantly, into a Fautueil, he at once Ventilated his Perplexity in these words:

"Good Gwecious!"

By this he was much relieved, and therefore touched a Silver Bell.

A Domestic appeared.
“Suvvant," said Mr. Eggs.
The Domestic bowed.

"Is thah anny good wine in the haous ?"

The Domestic bowed.

"Make me a Charmpin Kubblah of about a harf doozen of taspunfulls."

The Domestic bowed. Then he advanced Gracefully Backwards out of the Boudoir, and, Bowing, disappeared. Soon he returned with the Desired Beverage, in a Cut-Glass Goblet, with a Heavy Silver Tea Spoon therein, upon which Spoon the Cypher of the Eggs Family was Carefully engraved.

Mr. Eggs sipped twice. "Suvvant."

The Domestic bowed.

"Suvvant, upon this pappa you will find witten instwuctions. Wetun quickly, or I shall be boad."

Receiving the Scented Note Paper in a Silver Salver, the Domestic retreated Bowing, and Bowing disappeared.

During his absence, Mr. Eggs smoked of a Latakia Cigaretto. Tossing it with Languid Contempt from him, he observed:

"Good Gwecious!"

Very soon thereafter, the Domestic returned.

Ascanius received the missive. Therein was written "Impossible."

A considerable Shade mounted to the brow of Ascanius and lodged in its Centre where the hair was, by his Parisian Barber, consummately parted.

He moved his jewelled hand. The Domestic vanished. Ascanius fell back upon his Fauteuil with a deep Pastille-teinted sigh.

NOTE A. Leaving many matters of Importance to be Dwelt upon by the point marked thus Novelling Professor, I come at once to the The very Intense Propriety of putting Mr. Eggs into a Boudoir is apparent from hence. It enables the Noveller to describe Accurately the Boudoirs of his Own time. Of course he will describe the Most fashionable. Thus the Polite Art of Novelling attains Incidentally an Historical Value. But this Value must not be Sought After. It must be made Rigorously Subsidiary to Art. In a Manual, the Impropriety of Describing even a Boudoir is Too Obvious.

At the point marked †, an Avenue is opened to the Polite Noveller, through which he can give a Detailed Account of

pened in the beginning of October, as the great Julius is reported to have wished his might be, was sudden; the large artery in his heart burst, and in an instant he was no more. This moment saw him in perfect health, rich, powerful and much beloved, stript of his all: he in the next was numbered with the undistinguished dead,—so frail is human grandeur, and all sublunary joys.

The general grief occasioned by this melancholy event was soon allayed by the welcome succession of his grand-son, George 3d. Never did a King ascend the Throne with a more universal applause. Each heart and voice was for him, and every tongue was busied in his praise. A perfect harmony subsists between his ministers, at the head of whom Mr. Pitt still holds the foremost place in worth and eminence. The young king has committed but one error since his succession; instead of permitting the Ladies who come to Court to kiss his hand, he salutes them himself. Pleased with the Royal touch they flock in such numbers to his Court that he is like to suffer for his gallantry in being kissed to death, an effectual way this to win the hearts of the ladies and consequently of the men, for who can help loving such a polite, genteel, good-natured young King?

25th. Last night I was in company with Mr. Johnson, author of the English Dictionary. His outward appearance is very droll and uncouth. The too assiduous cultivation of his mind seems to have caused a very great neglect of his body; but for this his friends are very amply rewarded in the enjoyment of a mind most elegantly polished, enlightened and refined; possessed as he is of an inexhaustible fund of remark, a copious flow of words; expressions strong, nervous, pathetic and exalted, add to this an acquaintance with almost every subject that can be proposed; an intelligent mind cannot fail of receiving the most agreeable information and entertainment in his conversation. He proposes soon to publish a new Edition of Shak

speare, a work which he says has employed him many years.

From this gentleman I learn, that at Cambridge or Oxford, they never permit the students to attempt Physic until seven years study there has enabled them to take a Degree of Master of Arts. "Therefore," says he, "if you have a large fortune and time enough to spare, go to either of these. If you would choose immediately to enter upon Physic and to attain sufficient knowledge therein to carry you through life, at a small expense and in a short time, by all means go to Edinburgh or Leyden; for," says he, "the Scotch or foreign education is like a house built to last a man's lifetime only; the English is like a Palace or Fortress intended to last for many ages. The first build lightly, the last lay a very strong and firm foundation before they begin the work."

With the joint advice of Col. Ludwell, Mr. Jennings, and many others whom I have had an opportunity of consulting, and who are very capable of advising me, I have resolved to go immediately to Edinburgh. For general knowledge they all agree, that the English Universities are without compare, but for Physical knowledge only, they unanimously give the preference to Edinburgh. * * *

The Press has of late produced little else but Politicks, with which it greatly abounds. They are now taking up Transports for the West India Service. The conquest of Martineco is supposed to be the object they have in view. 'Tis whispered here that an act of Parliament is soon to be made, ordering the colonies to raise troops, and with them garrison their own Forts. This perhaps is only a whisper.

ARTHUR LEE.

FROM THE SAME TO THE SAME.

Edinburgh, March 14th, 1761.

MY DEAR BROTHER:

You will readily conclude, from the many and long letters I have lately wrote you,

that I have hitherto had little to employ

me.

The application which I must now give to my studies will render them less frequent, as well as less tedious for the future.

I am now settled in Edinburgh, where I unfortunately arrived too late for the lectures of this year. However, I attend those on the Materia Medica by Dr. Cullen, a man of a surprising genius and very great knowledge. He has receded from the tenets of all the Physicians, and established new doctrines of his own, on which he founds his Practice. Before the circulation of the Blood was known Physicians attributed all diseases to the bad state of the solids as the first cause. The wonderful knowledge of the Blood's circulation hurried them precipitately and without thought into the opposite extreme, and a corruption of the Blood was universally held to be the prime cause of all disorders. * * *

I intended to give you some thoughts on the treatment of Fever and Ague, which is as improperly treated as it is frequent among you; but this I must defer until another occasion, for I see the pleasure I take in this sort of conversation with you has already hurried me far beyond the ordinary limits of a letter; and notwithstanding your great thirst after all kinds of knowledge, particularly Physical, I fear my tedious prolixity will be tiresome and disagreeable. I am at present employed in learning Mathematicks, the knowledge of which will fit me for my attendance on the philosophical lectures of the next year. I must not, however, forget to give you the reasons that induced me to alter the plan which you were so kind as to lay down for me. And as the better reason with you has ever its due advantage over the worse, without regard to prejudice or preconceived opinions, a too firm adherence to which is often the mark of a narrow mind and weak understanding, I make no doubt but you will readily excuse me for the alterations I have made. The more advantageous study of Philosophy and the honour of a degree from Cambridge, were (I think) the two chief views proposed in my going thither.

With respect to the first, in it, I am informed, their method is so regularly slow, that they consume some years in the attainment of it, so that by a year's continuance there I should not even have entered upon it,--whereas here I join it with my other studies, so as to attain it equally well without employing half the time or expense. Their method with regard to their degrees is, that you reside three years at the College, after which you may employ the other as you please, being entitled at the end of that time to a Degree; therefore a year's residence would not have been of the least effect towards the attainment of either of these ends. Again, as to the opinion of a Cambridge Degree being preferable to one from this College, I even question whether that be well founded. 'Tis said, indeed, that they carry with them more honour and a stronger recommendation. You must be sensible that they are both in a great measure determined by the merit of the bearer. And that this place is the best calculated for the attainment of that merit, is universally allowed. Dr. Fothergill, who is justly esteemed the most skilful Physician in London and has more practice than any other in it, both studied and took his degree here. His reputation and knowledge has cast such an additional lustre upon it that it is now universally resorted to, and I believe contains more physical students than half the Colleges in Europe together. The American students, of which there is a great number, are in general well esteemed for their close application to their studies; nor do I despair of one day seeing a Mead, a Cullen, or a Fothergill in America.

Nothing can be more disagreeable to me than this town and the manners of the people in it. I must, however, except a few of the better sort, who appear to be kind, polite and hospitable. The ladies here are very numerous, and some of them very beautiful. They pride themselves much upon their great reading, which just serves to make them disagreeably opinionated without much improving their natural understanding.