MEMOIRS.

CHAPTER 1.

Mr. Fuller's Parentage-Early life-Conversion-Call to the Ministry-Change of Sentiment-Labours and Difficulties at Soham.

LIKE many other great and original characters, Mr. ANDREW FULLER arose out of obscurity, without any flattering prospect of future eminence. When he first made

his appearance on the theatre of public life, there was little to attract the notice, or excite the esteem of his cotemporaries. Regardless, however, of adventitious circumstances, he was propelled by the force of his own native genius, and owed as little to artificial culture, as he did to the smiles of opulence, or the honours of descent.

He was born at Wicken, a small village in Cambridgeshire, about seven miles from Ely, on the 6th of February, 1754; and in his youth received only the common rudiments of an English education, at the free school at Soham. His father, Mr. Robert Fuller, at the period of his son Andrew's birth, occupied a small farm at Wicken, and was the parent of three sons, of whom the subject of this Memoir was the youngest. His brothers were Mr. Robert Fuller, a farmer at Isleham, born in 1747; and Mr. John Fuller, born in 1748, who resides at Little Bentley in Essex, both of them deacons of Baptist churches.

Eminent as Mr. Andrew Fuller afterwards became for piety and usefulness, his youthful days were spent in sin and vanity; and the history of this period affords a lamentable proof of the depravity of human nature, while it illustrates the sovereign efficacy of renewing grace, its richness and freeness to the chief of sinners. It will

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be seen in the following narrative, drawn up by Mr. Fuller himself, about the year 1798, and communicated in a letter to a friend, how deeply he felt himself indebted to the grace of God, and what were the grounds of his attachment to that doctrine which became the theme of his future ministry.

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"My parents," says he, "were Dissenters, of the Calvinistic persuasion. They were engaged in husbandry, which occupation I followed till the twentieth year of my age. At this distance of time it is not easy to recollect all that happened; but I remember many of the sins of my childhood among which were, lying, cursing, and swearing. It is true, as to the latter, it never became habitual. I had a dread upon my spirits to such a degree, that when I uttered an oath, or any imprecation, it was by a kind of force put upon my feelings, and merely to appear manly, like other boys with whom I associated. This being the case, when I was about ten years old I entirely left it off, except that I sometimes dealt in a sort of minced oaths and imprecations, when my passions were inflamed.

"In the practice of telling lies I continued some years longer; at length, however, I began to think this a mean vice, and accordingly left it off, except in cases where I was under some pressing temptation.

"I think I must have been nearly fourteen years old, before I began to have any serious thoughts about futurity. The preaching which I attended was not adapted to awaken my conscience, as the minister had seldom any thing to say except to believers; and what believing was, I neither knew, nor greatly cared to know. I remember, however, about this time, as I was walking alone, I put the question to myself, What is faith? There is much made of it,-what is it? I could not tell; but satisfied myself in thinking it was not of immediate concern, and I should understand it as a grew older.

"Sometimes conviction laid fast hold of me, and rendered me extremely unhappy. One winter evening in particular, I went to a smith's shop, where a number of other boys sat round the fire. Presently they began to sing vain songs. This appeared to me so much like revelling, that I felt something within that would not suffer me to join them; and while I sat silent, in rather an unpleasant muse, these words sunk deep into my mind: 'What

doest thou here, Elijah?' They had such an effect upon me, that I immediately left the company; yet, shocking to reflect upon, I walked away murmuring in my heart against God, that I could not be let alone, and suffered to take my pleasure like other youth.

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At other times I was greatly affected by reading or thinking of the doctrines of Christianity. One day in particular, I took up Mr. R. Erskine's Gospel Sonnets,' and opening upon a piece called A Gospel Catechism for young Christians, or Christ all in all in our complete Redemption,' I read; and as I read, I wept. Indeed, I was almost overcome with weeping, so interesting did the doctrine of eternal salvation appear to me; yet, there being no radical change in my heart, these thoughts passed away, and I was equally intent on the pursuit of folly as heretofore.

"Sometimes I felt a strange kind of regard towards good people, such of them especially as were familiar in their behaviour to young persons, and would occasionally talk with me about religion. I used to wish I had many thousand pounds, that I might give some of it to those of them who were poor in their worldly circumstances.

"I was sometimes the subject of such convictions and affections, that I really thought myself a converted person, and lived under that delusion for some years. The ground on which I rested this opinion was as follows:-One day as I was walking alone, I began to think seriously what would become of my soul! I felt myself the slave of sin. Till now, I did not know but that I could repent at any time; but now I perceived that my heart was wicked, and that it was not in me to turn to God, or to break off my sins by righteousness. I saw that if God would forgive me all the past, and offer me the kingdom of heaven on the condition of giving up my wicked pursuits, I should not accept it. This conviction was accompanied with great depression of heart. I walked sorrowfully along, repeating these words,-Iniquity will be my ruin! Iniquity will be my ruin! While pouring over my unhappy case, those words of the Apostle suddenly occurred to my mind: 'Sin shall not have dominion over you; for ye are not under the law, but under grace.' Now the suggestion of a text of Scripture to the mind, and especially if it came with power, was generally considered by religious people, with whom I occasionally associated, as a promise coming immediately

from God. I therefore so understood it, and thought that God had thus revealed to me that I was in a state of salvation; and that, therefore, iniquity should not, as I had feared, be my ruin. The effect was, I was overcome with joy and transport. I shed, I suppose, thousands of tears as I walked along, and seemed to feel myself as it were in a new world. It appeared to me that I hated my sins, and was resolved to forsake them. Thinking on my wicked courses, I remember using those words of Paul: 'Shall 1 continue in sin that grace may abound? God forbid!' I felt, or seemed to feel, the strongest indignation at the thought. But strange as it may appear, though my face was that morning swelled with weeping, yet before night all was gone and forgotten, and I returned to my former vices with as eager a gust as ever; nor do I remember that for more than half a year after it, I had any serious thoughts about the salvation of my soul.

"About a year afterwards, however, I was again walking by myself, and began to reflect upon my course of life, particularly upon my former hopes and affections, and how I had since forgotten them all, and returned to all my wicked ways. Instead of sin having no more dominion over me, I perceived that its dominion was increased. For some minutes I was greatly dejected, but was instantly relieved by what I accounted another promise from God. These words were suggested to my mind: 'I have blotted out as a thick cloud thy transgressions, and as a cloud thy sins.' By this, as by the former, I was overcome with what I considered to be God's great love to me, and shed a multitude of tears, not of sorrow, but of joy and gratitude. I now considered myself as having been in a backsliding state, and that God had graciously restored me; though in truth 1 have every reason to think that the great deep of my heart's depravity had not yet been broken up, and that all my religion was mere transient impression, without any abiding principle. Amidst it all, I had lived without prayer; and was never, that I recollect, induced to deny myself of one sin when temptations were presented. I now, however, thought, surely I shall be better for the time to come. But alas! in a few days this also was forgotten, and I returned to my evil courses with as much eagerness

as ever.

'I now began to draw towards sixteen years of age; and as my powers and passions strengthened, I was more and more addicted to evil. Nor was I merely prompted

by my own propensities; for having formed connexions. with other wicked youths, my progress in the way to death was thereby greatly accelerated. Being of an athletic frame, and of a daring spirit, I was often engaged in such exercises and exploits as might have issued in death, if the good hand of God had not preserved me. I also frequently engaged in games of hazard, which, though not one to any great amount, they were very bewitching to me, and tended greatly to corrupt my mind. These, with various other evil courses, had so hardened my heart that I seldom thought of religion. Nay, I recollect that on a Lord's day evening, about this time, when my parents were reading in the family, I was shamefully engaged with one of the servants, playing idle tricks, though I took care not to be seen in them. These things were nothing to me at that time; for my conscience, by reiterated acts of wickedness, had become 'seared as with a hot iron' they were heavy burdens, however, to me af terwards.

"Having persisted in this course for a time, I began to be very uneasy, particularly in a morning when I first awoke. It was almost as common for me to be seized with keen remorse at this hour, as it was to go into bad company in the evening. At first I began to make vows of reformation, and this for the moment would afford a little ease; but as the temptations returned, my vows were of no account. It was an enlightened conscience only that was on the side of God: my heart was still averse to every thing spiritual or holy. For several weeks I went on in this way; vowing, and breaking my vows; reflecting on myself for my evil conduct, and yet continually repeating it.

"It was not now as heretofore my convictions followed me up closely. I could not, as formerly, forget these things, and was therefore a poor miserable creature, like a drunkard who carouses in the evening, but mopes about the next day like one half dead. One morning, as I was walking alone, I felt an uncommon load upon my heart. The remembrance of my sin, not only on the past evening, but for a long time back,-the breach of my vows, and the shocking termination of my former hopes and affections, all uniting together, formed a burden which I knew not how to bear. The gnawings of a guilty conscience, seemed to be a kind of hell within me. Nay, I really