, before she communicated These causes have produced etitia is as insipid a comn agreeable one. Lætitia, s studied no arts to please; any inclination towards her only on her merit. Lætitia her air that is sullen, grave, Ohne has a countenance that and unconcerned. A young this winter at a play, and His fortune was such, that introduction to speak his er. The lover was admitted om into the family, where a , severe looks, and distant hest favours he could obtain ohne ased him with the good nd innocence of a sister: indoften say to her, Dear as handsome as Lætitia nguage with that ingenuons which is natural to woman ill sighed in vain for Lætitia, ef in the agreeable convert length, heartily tired with nce of Lætitia, and charmed ances of good-humour he had he one day told the latter, to say to her he hoped she Faith, Daphne,' conlove with thee, and despise The manner of his declaring ess occasion for a very hearty s he, I knew you would ill ask your father.' He did ved his intelligence with no , and was very glad he had ut for his beauty, which he y to market at his leisure. I ing that has pleased me so 'It is, methinks, a low and degrading idea of as this conquest of my friend that sex, which was created to refine the joys and acquaintance congratulated soften the cares of humanity, by the most agreee-medley, and laugh at that able participation, to consider them merely as obrer her sister. As it is an ar-jects of sight. This is abridging them of their natund, to think the worse of our ral extent of power, to put them upon a level fections of our person, it is with their pictures at Kneller's. How much nobler value ourselves upon the ad- is the contemplation of beauty, heightened by virThe female world seem to be tue, and commanding our esteem and love, while gone astray in this particular; it draws our observation! How faint and spiritless all recommend the following are the charms of a coquette, when compared with nd's letter to the professed the real loveliness of Sophronia's innocence, piety, people almost as unsufferable good-humour, and truth; virtues which add a new softness to her sex, and even beautify her beauty! That agreeableness which must otherwise have appeared no longer in the modest virgin, is now preserved in the tender mother, the prudent friend, and the faithful wife. Colours artfully spread upon canvass may entertain the eye but not affect the heart; and she who takes no care to add to the natural graces of her person any excellent qualities, may be allowed still to amuse as a picture, but not to triumph as a beauty. learning and sense, after eight years study in the university, and a course of travels into most countries of Europe, owe the first raising of his fortunes to a cosmetic wash. This has given me occasion to consider how so universal a disposition in womankind, which springs from a laudable motive, the desire of pleasing, and proceeds upon an opinion, not altogether groundless, that nature may be helped by art, may be turned to their advantage. And, methinks, it would be an acceptable service to take them out of the hands of quacks and pretenders, and to prevent their imposing upon themselves, by discovering to them the true secret and art of improving beauty. In order to this, before I touch upon it directly, it will be necessary to lay down a few preliminary maxims, viz. That no woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more than she can be witty only by the help of speech. That pride destroys all symmetry and grace, and affectation is a more terrible enemy to fine faces than the small-pox. That no woman is capable of being beautiful, who is not incapable of being false. And, That what would be odious in a friend, is deformity in a mistress. 'From these few principles, thus laid down, it will be easy to prove, that the true art of assisting beauty consists in embellishing the whole person by the proper ornaments of virtuous and commendable qualities. By this help alone it is, that those who are the favourite work of nature, or, as Mr. Dryden expresses it, the porcelain clay of humankind, become animated, and are in a capacity of exerting their charms: and those who seem to be neglected by her, like models wrought in haste, are capable in a great measure of finishing what she has left imperfect. remond has concluded one of ming, that the last sighs of a e not so much for the loss of auty. Perhaps this raillery is it is turned upon a very oboman's strongest passion is for that she values it as her faFrom hence it is that all arts, mprove it or preserve it, meet 'When Adam is introduced by Milton, describception among the sex. To saying Eve in Paradise, and relating to the angel the impressions he felt upon seeing her at her first creation, he does not represent her like a Grecian Venus, by her shape or features, but by the lustre of her mind which shone in them, and gave them their power of charming': se helps and contraband wares =re daily vended in this great maiden gentlewoman of a good ry of South Britain, who has tues of May-dew, or is unfurceipt or other in favour of her have known a physician of er letter of his on the same subject, "Grace was in all her steps, heav'n in her eye, "Without this irradiating power, the proudest THE Club of which I am a member, is very luckily composed of such persons as are engaged in different ways of life, and deputed as it were out of the most conspicuous classes of mankind. By this means I am furnished with the greatest variety of hints and materials, and know every thing that passes in the different quarters and divisions, not only of this great city, but of the whole kingdom. My readers too have the satisfaction to find, that there is no rank or degree among them who have not their representative in this club, and that there is always somebody present who will take care of their respective interests, that nothing may be written or published to the prejudice or infringement of their just rights and privileges. I last night sat very late in company with this select body of friends, who entertained me with several remarks which they and others had made upon these my speculations, as also with the various success which they had met with among their several ranks and degrees of readers. Will Honeycomb told me, in the softest manner he could, that there were some ladies (but for your comfort, says Will, they are not those of the most wit) that were offended at the liberties I had taken with the opera and the puppet-show; that some of them were likewise very much surprised that I should think such serious points as the dress and equipage of persons of quality, proper subjects for raillery. He was going on, when Sir Andrew Freeport took him up short, and told him, that the papers he hinted at, had done great good in the city, and that all their wives and daughters were the better for them; and further added, that the whole city thought themselves very much obliged to me for declaring my generous intentions to scourge vice and folly as they appear in a multitude, without condescending to be a publisher of particular intrigues and cuckoldoms. In short,' says Sir Andrew, if you avoid that foolish beaten road of falling upon aldermen and citizens, and employ your pen upon the vanity and luxury of courts, your paper must needs be of general use.' Upon this my friend the Templar told Sir Andrew, that he wondered to hear a man of his sense talk after that manner; that the city had always been the province for satire; and that the wits of King Charles's time jested upon nothing else during his whole reign. He then showed, by the examples of Horace, Juvenal, Boileau, and the best writers of every age, that the follies of the stage and court had never been accounted too sacred for ridicule, how great soever the persons might be that patronized them. But after all,' says he,' I think your raillery has made too great an excur sion, in attacking several persons of the inns of court; and I do not believe you can show me any precedent for your behaviour in that particular.' My good friend Sir Roger de Coverley, who bad said nothing all this while, began his speech with a Pish! and told us, that he wondered to see so many men of sense so very serious upon fooleries Let our good friend,' says he, attack every one that deserves it: I would only advise you, Mr. Spectator, applying himself to me, to take care how you meddle with country squires. They are the ornaments of the English nation; men of good heads and sound bodies! and let me tell you, some of them take it ill of you, that you mention foxhunters with so little respect.' Captain Sentry spoke very sparingly on this occasion. What he said was only to commend me prudence in not touching upon the army, and advised me to continue to act discreetly in that point. By this time I found every subject of my specu lations was taken away from me, by one or other of the club; and began to think myself in the condition of the good man that had one wife who took a dislike to his grey hairs, and another to his black, till by their picking out what each of the a had an aversion to, they left his head altogether bald and naked. While I was thus musing with myself, my worthy friend the Clergyman, who, very luckily for me, was at the club that night, undertook my cause. He told us, that he wondered any order of persons should think themselves too considerable to be advised. That it was not quality, but innocence, which exempted men from reproof. That vice and folly ought to be attacked wherever they could be met with, and especially when they were placed in high and conspicuous stations of life. He further added, that my paper would only serve to aggravate the pains of poverty, if it chiefly exposed those who are already depressed, and in some measure turned into ridicule, by the meanness of their conditions and circumstances. He afterwards proceeded to take notice of the great use this paper might be of to the public, by reprehending those vices which are too trivial for the chastisement of the law, and too fantastical for the cognizance of the pulpit. He then advised me to prosecute my undertaking with cheerfulness, and assured me, that, whoever might be displeased with me, I should be approved by all those whose praises do honour to persons on whom they are bestowed. The whole club pays a particular deference to the discourse of this gentleman, and are drawn into what he says, as much by the candid ingenuous manner with which he delivers himself, as by the strength of argument and force of reason which he makes use of. Will Honeycomb immediately agreed, that what he had said was right; and that, for his part, he would not insist upon the quarter which he had demanded for the ladies. Sir Andrew gave up the city with the same frankness. The Templar would not stand out, and was followed by Sir Roger and the Captain: who all agreed that I should be at liberty to carry the war into what quarter I pleased; provided I continued als in a body, and to assault | represents an empty rake, in one of his plays, as the person. very much surprised to hear one say that breaking was held for the good of of windows was not humour; and question not nd of that which the Roman but several English readers will be as much startled rly engaged in for their de- to hear me affirm, that many of those raving inat first stood hard for his coherent pieces, which are often spread among us, d that by this means they under odd chimerical titles, are rather the offption: and at length, mak- springs of a distempered brain than works of humeir acquaintance and rela- mour. ery decent execution. y resolutions to march on virtue and good sense, and saries in whatever degree may be found; I shall be all the remonstrances that on this account. If Punch shall reprimand him very becomes a nursery of folly all not be afraid to animadt, if I meet with any thing try, that shocks modesty or use my utmost endeavours of it. I must, however, inr person, who does me the of this paper, never to think E his friends or enemies, aimfor I promise him, never to er which does not fit at least to publish a single paper, the spirit of benevolence, nkind. DAY, APRIL 10, 1711. ineptior nulla est. C. It is indeed much easier to describe what is not humour, than what is; and very difficult to define it otherwise than as Cowley has done wit, by negatives. Were I to give my own notions of it, I would deliver them after Plato's manner, in a kind of allegory, and by supposing Humour to be a person, deduce to him all his qualifications, according to the following genealogy. Truth was the founder of the family, and the father of Good Sense. Good Sense was the father of Wit, who married a lady of collateral line called Mirth, by whom he had issue Humour. Humour therefore being the youngest of this illustrious family, and descended from parents of such different dispositions, is very various and unequal in his temper; sometimes you see him putting on grave looks and a solemn habit, sometimes airy in his behaviour and fantastic in his dress; insomuch that at different times he appears as serious as a judge, and as jocular as a merry andrew. But as he has a great deal of the mother in his constitution, whatever mood he is in, he never fails to make his company laugh. But since there is an impostor abroad, who takes upon him the name of this young gentleman, and would willingly pass for him in the world; to the end that well-meaning persons may not be imposed upon by cheats, I would desire my readers, when they meet with this pretender, to look into his pah as the laugh of fools. rentage, and to examine him strictly, whether or no he be remotely allied to Truth, and lineally dewriting there is none in which scended from Good Sense; if not, they may conto miscarry than in works of clude him a counterfeit. They may likewise disnone in which they are more tinguish him by a loud and excessive laughter, in It is not an imagination that which he seldom gets his company to join with -an head that is filled with him. For as True Humour generally looks seriions, which is capable of fur-ous, while every body laughs about him; False ith diversions of this nature; Humour is always laughing, whilst every body nto the productions of several about him looks serious. I shall only add, if he For men of humour, what wild has not in him a mixture of both parents, that is, what unnatural distortions of if he would pass for the offspring of Wit without with? If they speak nonsense, Mirth, or Mirth without Wit, you may conclude talking humour; and when him to be altogether spurious and a cheat. ether a scheme of absurd, in- The impostor of whom I am speaking, descends y are not able to read it over originally from Falsehood, who was the mother of at laughing. These poor gen-Nonsense, who was brought to bed of a son called gain themselves the reputa- Frenzy, who married one of the daughters of umorists, by such monstrous Folly, commonly known by the name of Laughqualify them for Bedlam; not ter, on whom he begot that monstrous infant of mour should always lie under which I have here been speaking. I shall set down and that it requires the direc- at length the genealogical table of False Humour, dgment, by so much the more and, at the same time, place under it the genealogy In the most boundless freedoms. of True Humour, that the reader may at one view mature that is to be observed in behold their different pedigrees and relations. itions, as well as in all other; arity of thought which must disbe a man of sense, at the same ars altogether given up to caart, when I read the delirious ful author, I cannot be so barmyself with it, but am rather , than laugh at any thing he Shadwell, who had himself a talent which I am treating of, Falsehood. Truth. Humour. First of all, He is exceedingly given to little apish tricks and buffooneries. Secondly, He so much delights in mimicry, that it is all one to him whether he exposes by it vice and folly, luxury and avarice; or, on the contrary, virtue and wisdom, pain and poverty. Thirdly, He is wonderfully unlucky, insomuch that he will bite the hand that feeds him, and endeavour to ridicule both friends and foes indifferently. For having but small talents be must be Merry where he can, not where he should. I might extend the allegory, by mentioning seve-tunity to part with every thing which does n ral of the children of False Humour, who are more contribute to the representation of human life; ai in number than the sands of the sea, and might in shall make a free gift of all animated utensils particular enumerate the many sons and daughters your projector. The hangings you formerly me which he has begot in this island. But as this tioned are run away; as are likewise a set would be a very invidious task, I shall only ob- chairs, each of which was met upon two legs goi serve in general, that False Humour differs from through the Rose Tavern at two this morning. the True, as a monkey does from a man. hope, sir, you will give proper notice to the toy that we are endeavouring at these regulations; a that we intend for the future to show no monste but men who are converted into such by their of industry and affectation. If you will please to at the house to-night, you will see me do my deavour to show some unnatural appearances whi are in vogue among the polite and well-bred. am to present, in the character of a fine la dancing, all the distortions which are frequen taken for graces ia mien and gesture. This, sir, a specimen of the methods we shall take to expe the monsters which come within the notice of a gular theatre; and we desire nothing more gr may be admitted by you Spectators for the futu We have cashiered three companies of theatric guards, and design our kings shall for the fate make love, and sit in council, without au army; a wait only your direction, whether you will ha them reinforce King Porus, or join the troops Macedon. Mr. Penkethman resolves to consult a pantheon of heathen gods in opposition to the ora of Delphos, and doubts not but he shall turn t fortune of Porus, when he personates him. desired by the company to inform you, that th submit to your censures; and shall have you greater veneration than Hercules was of old, you can drive monsters from the theatre; and thi your merit will be as much greater than his, as convince is more than to conquer. Fourthly, Being entirely void of reason, he pursues no point either of morality or instruction, but is ludicrous only for the sake of being so. Fifthly, Being incapable of having any thing but mock representations, his ridicule is always personal, and aimed at the vicious man, or the writer; not at the vice, or the writing. I have here only pointed at the whole species of false humorists; but as one of my principal designs in this paper is to beat down that malignant spirit which discovers itself in the writings of the present age, I shall not scruple, for the future, to single out any of the small wits, that infest the world with such compositions as are ill-natured, immoral, and absurd. This is the only exception which I shall make to the general rule I have prescribed myself, of attacking multitudes, since every honest man ought to look upon himself as in a natural state of war with the libeller and lampooner, and to annoy them wherever they fall in his way. This is but retaliating upon them, and treating them as they treat others. Drury Lane, April the 9th. UPON reading the project which is set forth in one of your late papers, of making an alliance between all the bulls, bears, elephants, and lions, which are separately exposed to public view in the cities of London and Westminster; together with the other wonders, shows, and monsters, whereof you made respective mention in the said speculation; we, the chief actors of this playhouse, met and sat upon the said design. It is with great delight that we expect the execution of this work; and in order to contribute to it, we have given warning to all our ghosts to get their livelihoods where they can, and not to appear among us after day-break of the 16th instant. We are resolved to take this oppor * See N° 31. SIR, * I am, SIR, 'Your most obedient servant, T. D. "WHEN I acquaint you with the great and une pected vicissitudes of my fortune, I doubt not b I shall obtain your pity and favour. I have i many years past been Thunderer to the playhous and have not only made as much noise out of i clouds as any predecessor of mine in the thea that ever bore that character, but also have scended and spoke on the stage as the bold Thi der in The Rehearsal. When they got me do thus low, they thought fit to degrade me furth and make me a ghost. I was contented with for these two last winters; but they carry the tyranny still further, and not satisfied that I banished from above ground, they have given to understand that I am wholly to depart th dominions, and taken from me even my subter neous employment. Now, sir, what I desire you is, that if your undertaker thinks fit to tire-arins (as other authors have done) in the ti of Alexander, I may be a cannon against Po or else provide for me in the burning of Perse lis, or what other method you shall think fit. SALMONEUS OF COVENT-GARDEN The petition of all the Devils of the play ho in behalf of themselves and families, setting f their expulsion from thence, with certificates their good life and conversation, and praying lief. The merit of this petition referred to Mr. Rich *, who made them devils. * See Tat. Nos. 42 and 99. H ave-digger in Hamlet, to the Expedition of Alex certain lady, whom I shall here call by the name of Leonora, and, as it contained matters of consequence, desired me to deliver it to her with my own hand. Accordingly I waited upon her ladyship pretty early in the morning, and was desired am Bullock *, to be He- by her woman to walk into her lady's library, the Great †, TISEMENT. well born both by father the daughter of Thomas practitioner in the law, and by well known in all parts of -n reduced by misfortunes to sons, and for some time to ing-school of young ladies, That she hath lately taken -square, commodiously situ good air; where she teaches oquacious kinds, as parrots, others, to imitate human tion than ever was yet pracly instructed to pronounce a proper tone and accent, ge with great purity and voher with all the fashionable is now in use either at tea Those that have good voices -he newest opera-airs, and if er Italian or French, paying -y above the common rates, e not able to pay the full half boarders. She teaches or the diversion of the public, woods on the theatres, by the n observed with much concern ion is usually given these inin some measure is owing to oms next the street, where, to ste and tender ears, they learn 8, and immodest expressions, dle people, as also to cry fish i other useless parts of learnrich friends, she has fitted up tments for them in the back se; where she suffers none to rself, and a servant maid who whom she provided on purfood, and cleanse their cages; experience how hard a thing it ence who have the use of speech, scholars are exposed to, by the t are made by harsh sounds, In short, if they are birds of ', she will undertake to render in the compass of a twelvemonth, conversation for such ladies as riends and companions out of SDAY, APRIL 12, 1711. lo calathisce Minerva 2 manus; R. VIRG. Æn. vii. 805. ng, in the loom unskill'd. DRYDEN. my friend Sir Roger, being in ed a letter to me, directed to a Nos. 7 and 188. D, and Tat. Nos. 4, 7, 20, and 188. till such time as she was in readiness to receive Upon my looking into the books, I found there |