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my pocket-book, where perhaps I may find something to transcribe; something that was written before the sun had taken leave of our hemisphere, and when I was less fatigued than I am at present.

Happy is the man who knows just so much of the law, as to make himself a little merry now and then with the solemnity of juridical proceedings. I have heard of common law judgments before now, indeed have been present at the delivery of some, that according to my poor apprehension, while they paid the utmost respect to the letter of the statute, have departed widely from the spirit of it, and being governed entirely by the point of law, have left equity, reason, and common-sense behind them at an infinite distance. You will judge whether the following report of a case, drawn up by myself, be not a proof and illustration of this satirical assertion.

NOSE---PLAINTIFF;

EYES-DEFENDANTS.

1.

Between Nose and Eyes a sad contest arose,
The Spectacles set them unhappily wrong;
The point in dispute was, as all the world knows,
To which the said Spectacles ought to belong.

2.

So the Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause, With a great deal of skill, and a wig full of learning, While chief baron Ear, sat to balance the laws,

So fam'd for his talents at nicely discerning.

3.

"In behalf of the Nose, it will quickly appear, "And your lordship," he said, "will undoubtedly find, "That the Nose has had Spectacles always in wear,

"Which amounts to possession, time out of mind.”

Then holding the Spectacles up to the court,

"Your lordship observes, they are made with a straddle, "As wide as the ridge of the nose is, in short,

"Design'd to sit close to it, just like a saddle.

5.

"Again, would your lordship a moment suppose,
(" "Tis a case that has happen'd, and may be again)
"That the visage or countenance had not a nose,

"Pray who would, or who could, wear Spectacles then?

6.

"On the whole it appears, and my argument shows, "With a reasoning, the court will never condemn, "That the Spectacles plainly were made for the Nose, "And the Nose was as plainly, intended for them."

7.

Then shifting his side, as a lawyer knows how,
He pleaded again in behalf of the Eyes:
But what were his arguments few people know,
For the court did not think they were equally wise.

So his lordship decreed, with a grave, solemn tone,
Decisive, and clear, without one if, or but,

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"

By day-light, or candle-light-Eyes should be shut!

Yours affectionately,

W. C.

LETTER LXXI.

To the Revd. WILLIAM UNWIN.

MY DEAR FRIEND,

Dec. 1780.

are not very common,

Poetical reports of law cases

yet it seems to me desirable Many advantages would ac

that they should be so. crue from such a measure. They would, in the first place, be more commonly deposited in the memory, just as linen, grocery, or other such matters, when neatly packed, are known to occupy less room, and to lie more conveniently in any trunk, chest, or box, to which they may be committed. In the next place, being divested of that infinite circumlocution, and the endless embarrasment in which they are involved by it, they would become surprisingly intelligible, in comparison with their present obscurity. And lastly, they would, by this means, be rendered susceptible of musical embellishment, and instead of being quoted in the country, with that dull monotony, which is so wearisome to by-standers, and frequently lulls even the judges themselves to sleep, might be rehearsed in recitation; which would have an admira

ble effect, in keeping the attention fixed and lively, and could not fail to disperse that heavy atmosphere of sadness and gravity, which hangs over the jurisprudence of our country. I remember many years ago, being informed by a relation of mine, who in his youth had applied himself to the study of the law, that one of his fellow-students, a gentleman of sprightly parts, and very respectable talents of the poetical kind, did actually engage in the prosecution of such a design; for reasons, I suppose, somewhat similar to, if not the same, with those I have now suggested. He began with Coke's Institutes; a book so rugged in its stile, that an attempt to polish it seemed an Herculean labour, and not less arduous and difficult, than it would be to give the smoothness of a rabbit's fur, to the prickly back of a hedgehog. But he succeeded to admiration, as you will perceive by the following specimen, which is all that my said relation could recollect of the performance.

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