AN

IIO MILY

OF

The State of Matrimony.

HE word of Almighty God doth testify and de

THERM clare whence the original beginning of matrimony

cometh, and why it is ordained. It is instituted of God, to the intent that man and woman should live lawfully in a perpetual friendship, to bring forth fruit, and to avoid fornication. By which mean a good conscience might be preserved on both parties, in bridling the corrupt inclinations of the flesh within the limits of honesty; for God hath straitly forbidden all whoredom and uncleanness, and hath from time to time taken grievous punishment of this inordinate lust, as all stories and ages have declared. Furthermore, it is also ordained, that the Church of God and his kingdom might by this kind of life be conserved and enlarged, not only in that God giveth children by his blessing, but also in that they be brought up by the parents godly, in the knowledge of God's word, that thus the knowledge of God and true religion might be delivered by succession from one to another, that finally many might enjoy that everlasting immortality. Wherefore, forasmuch as matrimony serveth as well to avoid sin and offence, as to increase the kingdom of God; you. as all other which enter the state, must acknowledge this benefit of God, with pure and thankful minds, for that he hath so ruled your hearts, that ye follow not the example of the wicked world, who set their delight in filthiness of sin, but both of you stand in the fear of God, and abhor all filthiness. For that is surely the singular gift of God, where the common example of the world declareth how the Devil hath their hearts bound and entangled in divers snares, so that they in their wifeless state run into open abominations, without any grudge of their conscience. Which sort of men that live so despe

a Cor. vi.

rately and filthy. what damnation tarrieth for them! St. Paul describeth it to them, saying, Neither whoremongers, neither adulterers, shall inherit the kingdom of God. This horrible judgment of God ye be escaped through his mercy, if so be that ye live inseparately, according to God's ordinance. But yet I would not have you careless without watching. For the Devil will essay to attempt all things to interrupt and hinder your hearts and godly purpose, if ye will give him any entry. For he will either labour to break this godly knot once begun betwixt you, or else at the least he will labour to incumber it with divers griefs and displeasures.

And this is the principal craft, to work dissension of hearts of the one from the other; that whereas now there is pleasant and sweet love betwixt you, he will in the stead thereof bring in most bitter and unpleasant discord. And surely that same adversary of ours doth, as it were from above, assault man's nature and condition. For this folly is ever from our tender age grown up with us, to have a desire to rule, to think highly of ourselves. so that none thinketh it meet to give place to another. That wicked voice of stubborn will and self-love is more meet to break and to dissever the love of heart, than to preserve concord. Wherefore married persons must apply their minds in most earnest wise to concord, and must crave continually of God the help of his holy Spirit, so to rule their hearts, and to knit their minds together, that they be not dissevered by any division or discord. This necessity of prayer must be oft in the practice and using of married persons, that ofttimes the one should pray for the other, lest hate and debate do arise betwixt them. And because few do consider this thing, but more few do perform it, (I say, to pray diligently,) we see how wonderfully the Devil deludeth and scorneth this state, how few matrimonies there be without chidings, brawlings, tauntings, repentings, bitter cursings, and fightings. Which things whosoever doth commit, they do not consider that it is the instigation of the ghostly enemy, who taketh great delight therein; for else they would with all earnest endeavour strive against these mischiefs, not only with prayer, but also with all possible diligence. Yea, they would not give place to the provocation of wrath, which stirreth them either to such rough and sharp words of strifes, which is surely compassed by the Devil, whose temptation, if it be followed, must needs begin and weave the web of all miseries and sorrows. For this is most

certainly true, that of such beginnings must needs ensue the breach of true concord in heart, whereby all love must needs shortly be banished. Then can it not be but a miserable thing to behold, that yet they are of necessity compelled to live together, which yet cannot be in quiet together. And this is most customably every where to be seen. But what is the cause thereof? Forsooth, because they will not consider the crafty trains of the Devil, and therefore give not themselves to pray to God, that he would vouchsafe to repress his power. Moreover, they do not consider how they promote the purpose of the Devil, in that they follow the wrath of their hearts, while they threat one another, while they in their folly turn all upside down, while they never will give over their right, as they esteem it; yea, while many times they will not give over the wrong part indeed. Learn thou therefore, if thou desirest to be void of all these miseries, if thou desirest to live peaceably and comfortably in wedlock, how to make thy earnest prayer to God. that he would govern both your hearts by the holy Spirit, to restrain the Devil's power, whereby your concord may remain perpetually. But to this prayer must be joined a singular diligence, whereof St. Peter giveth this precept, saying, You husbands, deal with your wives according to knowledge, giving honour to the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as unto them that are heirs also of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered. This precept doth particularly pertain to the husband: for he ought to be the leader and author of love, in cherishing and increasing concord; which then shall take place, if he will use moderation, and not tyranny, and if he yield something to the woman. For the woman is a weak creature, not endued with like strength and constancy of mind; therefore they be the sooner disquieted, and they be the more prone to all weak affections and dispositions of mind, more than men be; and lighter they be, and more vain in their fantasies and opinions. These things must be considered of the man, that he be not too stiff, so that he ought to wink at some things, and must gently expound all things, and to forbear. Howbeit, the common sort of men do judge that such moderation should not become a man; for they say, that it is a token of womanish cowardness, and therefore they think that it is a man's part to fume in anger, to fight with fist and staff. Howbeit, howsoever they imagine, undoubtedly St. Peter doth better judge what should be seeming to a man, and what he

should most reasonably perform. For he saith, Reasoning should be used, and not fighting. Yea, he saith more, that the woman ought to have a certain honour attributed to her; that is to say, she must be spared and borne with, the rather for that she is the weaker vessel, of a frail heart. inconstant, and with a word soon stirred to wrath. And therefore, considering these her frailties, she is to be the rather spared. By this means thou shalt not only nourish concord, but shalt have her heart in thy power and will. For honest natures will sooner be retained to do their duties, rather by gentle words than by stripes. But he which will do all things with extremity and severity, and doth use always rigour in words and stripes, what will that avail in the conclusion? Verily nothing, but that he thereby setteth forward the Devil's work, he banisheth away concord, charity, and sweet amity, and bringeth in dissension, hatred, and irksomeness, the greatest griefs that can be in the mutual love and fellowship of man's life. Beyond all this, it bringeth another evil therewith, for it is the destruction and interruption of prayer: for in the time that the mind is occupied with dissension and discord, there can be no true prayer used. For the Lord's Prayer hath not only a respect to particular persons, but to the whole universal; in the which we openly pronounce, that we will forgive them which have offended against us, even as we ask forgiveness of our sins of God. Which thing how can it be done rightly, when their hearts be at dissension? How can they pray each for other, when they be at hate betwixt themselves? Now, if the aid of prayer be taken away, by what means can they sustain themselves in any comfort? For they cannot otherwise either resist the Devil, or yet have their hearts staid in stable comfort in all perils and necessities, but by prayer. Thus all discommodities, as well worldly as ghostly, follow this froward testiness, and cumbrous fierceness in manners, which be more meet for brute beasts than for reasonable creatures. St. Peter doth not allow these things; but the Devil desireth them gladly. Wherefore take the more heed. And yet a man may be a man, although he doth not use such extremity, yea, although he should dissemble some things in his wife's manners. And this is the part of a Christian man, which both pleaseth God, and serveth also in good use to the comfort of their marriage state. Now as concerning the wife's duty. What shall become her? shall she abuse the gentleness and humanity of her husband, and, at her plea

sure, turn all things upside down? No, surely; for that is far repugnant against God's commandment; for thus doth St. Peter preach to them, Ye wives, be ye in subjection to 1 Petor îj, obey your own husbands. To obey is another thing than to control or command, which yet they may do to their children, and to their family: but as for their husbands, them must they obey, and cease from commanding, and perform subjection. For this surely doth nourish concord very much, when the wife is ready at hand at her husband's commandment. when she will apply herself to his will, when she endeavoureth herself to seek his contentation, and to do him pleasure, when she will eschew all things that might offend him: for thus will most truly be verified the saying of the Poet, A good wife, by obeying her husband shall bear the rule, so that he shall have a delight and a gladness the sooner at all times to return home to her. But, on the contrary part, when the wives be stubborn.froward, and malapert, their husbands are compelled thereby to abhor and flee from their own houses, even us they should have battle with their enemies. Howbeit, it can scantly be, but that some offences shall sometime chance betwixt them; for no man doth live without fault, specially, for that the woman is the more frail party. Therefore let them beware that they stand not in their faults and wilfulness; but rather let them acknowledge their follies, and say. My husband, so it is, that by my anger I was compelled to do this or that: forgive it me, and hereafter I will take better heed. Thus ought the woman more readily to do, the more they be ready to offend. And they shall not do this only to avoid strife and debate, but rather in the respect of the commandment of God, as St. Paul expresseth it in this form of words: Let women be Ephes. v subject to their husbands, as to the Lord: for the husband is the head of the woman, as Christ is the head of the church. Here you understand, that God hath commanded that ye should acknowledge the authority of the husband, and refer to him the honour of obedience. And St. Peter saith in that place before rehearsed, that holy matrons did in former time deck themselves, not with gold and silver, but in putting their whole hope in God, and in obeying their husbands; as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord; whose daughters ye be, saith be, if ye follow her example. This sentence is very meet for women to print in their remembrance. Truth it is, that they must specially feel the grief and pains of their matrimony, in that they relinquish the liberty of their own rule, in the