And mount thou must that black detested bench; But these digressions would a saint perplex ;
Aye up, to all the congregation's gazing,

I'm creeping back into last canto's style.
Wrapt in thy mantle soiled, most desolate wench, Not every lass such tears such terrors vex ;

Not once from thy cold hand thy visage raising; To chap-out some of them is not worth while, While black Mess John his stubborn fist shall clench, Especially those clumsiest of their sex,

And pour his wrath like a volcano blazing, Edina's Grizzies--coarse, and stout, and vile, A fiery flood of taunting, grinning glee,

A man can scarcely span about their wrist, O'er the Precentor's head and all at thee.

They don't deserve the honour to be kiss'd.

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I'ye found a most intense and lurking pleasure But better late than never. As I said
In visiting thy foes, 0 Ebony,

Somewhere, I think, in canto before last,
In lounging in back-shops my hours of leisure, Braun and his company were so ill bred,

And hearing all the High Street rail at thee. As, during my discourse, to fall as fast
I'm sure 'twill tickle me beyond all measure, Asleep as if they had been all a-bed ;
On Thursday next the hurricane to see,

Whereon to the withdrawing-room I past,
The hurly-burly and the hurry-scurry,

To take a dish of tea with Mrs Braun, When they shall hear this league with Mr Murray. And talk o'er all the Scandal of the Town.

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Mr Wastle has written a very long and perplexing note upon this passage. From certain allusions in it, we have thought it expedient to send it to a certain noble Lord, a member of a certain learned Society, and when we have received his elucidations, Mr Wastle's note may appear with a running commentary.



XXXII. I'm never at a loss for similes

They were, I say, of such unearthly size, A Christian subject to elucidate;

Such huge dimensions, as might fill even him, But I confess, such fearful Fraus as these,

Albeit familiar with monstrosities, Completely baffle and perplex my pate.

Even James himself, with terror to the brim. They were like mighty monsters of the seas, One guess I shall not venture to surmise,

Such as James Wilson has described of late; On their diameter of lith and limb;
"[Dull papers those, if I don't much mistake But if you've ever seen that massy range
The matter, on the Kraken and Sea Snake. ] Of Giant Druid Milestones at Stonehenge,

You may conceive a general idear

Of those large women so immensely blowsy,
An earthquake scarcely could have made them veer

A point or two about. They made Braun's spousy,
Tho’ far from thin, you'll recollect, appear

A perfect skeleton—the reverse of frowsy.
(I don't defend this rhyme'tis very bad,
Tho' used by Hunt, and Keats, and all that squad.)*


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End of Canto IV.

Note on Odoherty and his Imitators. * Although we have no intention to relax our general rule against anonymous communications, yet we shall not scruple to transgress it for once, in favour of the following very learned and exquisite piece of criticism. The want of a signature is, indeed, sometimes no disguise To parody the saying of Erasmus, “ AUT DIABOLUS AUT DR PARR."

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The invention of this new style of lau botoinois, belongs of right, due attention being paid to dates and occasions, to Ensign and Adjutant Odoherty, late of his Majesty's foot service ; yet he has been surpassed therein by at least one among his many imitators. Of these there are three, prominent, conspicuous, săn xon, most delectable spirits, Mr Frere, the Lord Byron, and a certain Scottish gentleman or laird, one Wastle. To this last I incline to refer the superiority, but indeed they are all very pleasant.

Their subjects are commonly of the same sort, that is, trifling; little reverence being had by any of them for the συσασις των πραγμάτων. Their humour is to regard the manners and characters of their personages more than the transactions wherein these are engaged, in so much that, whereas the Stagyrite says of tragic poetry, το τελος πραξις τις εσι, και ποιοτης, we may say of this Odohortean kind of μιμησις that the end is thatns Tis haaaa . Teugus. Such things cannot be commended altogether ; yet, notwithstanding, in so far as the contemplation of ren is of all things most neglected among the greater number των νεότερων και

“ for the rarity of their occurrence they deserve some praise, even from the learned,” as Julius Pollux expresses it.' (Edit. Hemsterhusii. Amstel 1706, p. 32.) Odoherty (o evenous] is one of a rich wit, and of a fluent discourse, but he hath great lack of the misis nlizy-being in one of his productions lacrymose, and in another merry, buffoonish, ludicrous, sharp, a mere scurra, orangoramos—so that no one can know wherein his real vein is manifested, wherefore he is distrusted by both parties, the good dreading hypocrisy when he speaketh to them, and esteeming him too much an observer of the rule thou asyar: the pavaotipo, in like manner, when he scurrilizes, fearing that he jesteth with their depravity. Frere erreth in being too phantastic in his pevbou, for deception is in common brief, and, once found out, he is no more trusted, and his wit less tasted. Moreover, there is a certain coldness about him, yuxery gh; he toucheth little upon Ta umeodora, which are ever the most proper to those who poetize after this fashion. Byron, again, sinneth diversely, in being too aphrodisiack, that phantasy being perpetually stirred up and excited by him in his Beppo, to say nothing of his satire, wherein he is ever too severe, nimis acer, duonegos aine. Wastle is more perfect in all these matters, for, steering in the midst, he is neither so mutative and dissimilis sibi as Odoherty, nor so asgios as Frere, nor so azonasos as Byron. In like fashion, over this last he hath the advantage, in that his wit is not so bitter. He hath indeed eurgaT ENOTEgor ti xui apsoror which seemeth odd for one of his Sardonic nation, but "zas é Ilovdaços Bowros," as the proverb has it. (Vide Procli Chrestomathea ad calcem Apollonii Alex. de Synta Franc, 1590, p. 222.) I love all these poets--I read over their opuscula divers times, and find much sport therein, for even the old despise not entirely to read of such things, although the recollection be sometimes not altogether ανευ λυπης. τον Δοχορτιαδην μεν θαυμαζω, τον Φρηρον μεν σε δα, τον Βυρονον μεν μεγαλοποιω :-μονον δε τουτον τον Ουαστλεον ΦΙΛΩ.

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(The above came to us last week, with a Birmingham post-mark, Aug. 9, 1818.]





had ra

cute one in time for your next Number.

I suppose it is a matter of indifferMR EDITOR,

ence, whether I begin at the feet of I HAVE occasionally observed in your the ladies of the Elizabethan age, and Miscellany, certain sly sneers at the so mount up, in my description, to dress of the present day, which, I am their heads, or commence operations exceedingly sorry to think, does not with their heads, and descend gently meet with your approbation. As all unto their feet. I adopt the latter mode. we know of your personal appearance In the Merry Wives of Windsor, is, “ that you are a man clothed in Falstaff says to Mrs Ford, “ thou hast dark garments,” the public are unable the right arched bent of the brow, that to judge whether or not your theory of becomes the ship-tire, the tire-valiant, apparel accords with your practice. For and any tire of Venetian admittance. my own part, I do not care a straw The ship-tire (says the excellent Dr whether I ever see you or not. I once Drake, in his most amusing book on believed, on the authority of a friend, Shakspeare), appears to have been an who never made a joke in his life, that open flaunting head-dress, with scarfs the picture of the old gentleman on or ribbons floating in the air like the cover of your Magazine was intend- streamers :" ed for you, and I really could not help “ With ribbons pendant flaring round her respecting your very venerable appear

head.” I thought indeed, from the

The tire-valiant was probably somelength of your beard, that


thing more showy—and, I suppose, ther injudiciously sat for your portrait only hoisted in calm weather and light on a Saturday evening,—and as you breezes, like sky-scrapers on the masts have no neckcloth on there, I fancied of ships. Such head-dresses awoke it was out getting washed for the Sub- different images to different minds, and bath. I beg your pardon, however, while to some they suggested that for this mistake, as I have since been of a ship with every inch of canvass informed, on the best authority, that set, to others they seemed rather luthe picture alluded to, is one of Mr dicrous than magnificent. A satirical Blackwood, and if he thinks he looks poet of 1595, speaks of a prettier man in that costume, I have

Flaming heads with staring haire, no objection to his wearing it. By

With wyres turn'd like horns of ram; the this mistake about the picture

To peacocks I compare them right, way,

Who glorieth in their feathers bright.” gave rise, I should fancy, to the idea

Beneath head-dresses such as these, since exploded, that the Editor and the Publisher were one and the same person.

the ladies were not contented, like those You, sir, however, who are such a

of our times, to wear nothing but their critic in dress, must be deep read in

own hair. We are told by Stubbs, in

his Anatomy of Abuses, that it was its history; and it is, I presume, from a comparison of that of the present day

a common practice to allure children

who had beautiful hair into private with the fashion of other times, that

places, and you are disposed to be so very sarcas

them. The dead, too,

were rifled for the same purpose. tic. Now I am willing to stake my character as a well-dressed man,-(and The right of sepulchres, were shorn away

“ The golden tresses of the dead, I assure you, that, although I have To live a second life, or second head, mounted a wig of late in the Parliament And beauty's dead fleece made another gay." House, I am still, after mid-day, as It happened that Queen Bess had complete a Dandy-Quadriller as ever) - red hair, and when that failed her, that the dress of the present day is the Paul Hentzer tells us, that she wore most rational that ever prevailed in a red wig. It therefore became fashionthis country since the reign of the able to wear red wigs, though, from immortal Alfred. Let us take the the love of vanity, wigs were to be reign of Queen Bess, erroneously called seen of all hues. the Virgin Queen; or of King James Wigs of all hues, and without pins the I. rightly denominated the British So

hair.” lomon. I will paint a belle and a beau * It is a wonder more than ordinary of that day so clearly, as to save you (says an old satirist) to“behould theyr the expense of an engraving, though perewigs of sundry collours.” As few perhaps your ingenious friend, Mr faces could look well under a red wig, Charles Kirkpatrick Sharpe, will exea

the ladies were under the necessity of


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painting their cheeks, to render the con- The bosoms of the ladies were all trast less violent. To what length this bare, her Majesty setting them the exfashion rose, may be guessed at from ample; for when Paul Hentzer first saw Shakspeare. Let her paint an inch her going to chapel, she was in her thick,” &c. Not contented with a good 65th year, “ her face oblong, fair, and coating of paint to their faces, they wrinkled, ?" her teeth black," and added masks and mufflers. The form “her bosom uncovered.” The waist er were made of velvet, “ wherewith, was long beyond all proportion, and says Stubbs, when they ride abroad, terminated in a point. The fashionthey cover all their faces, having holes able petticoat was the Scottish fardinmade in them against their eyes, gale, of enormous bulk, so that when whereout they look. So that if a a lady was dressed in one of them, man that knew not their guise before, with the gown, as was usually the should chance to meet one of them, case, stuffed about the shoulders, and he would think he met a monster or a the ruff in the first style of the day, her devil, for face he can show none, but appearance was truly formidable.” two broad holes against their eyes, Shoes with monstrous high heels (in with glasses in them.” These masks imitation of the Venetian chopine, a were of all colours.

kind of stilt, better than a foot high) “ On each wight now are they seene, were the prevalent mode, and silk,

The tallow-pale, the browning bay, stockings, which the Queen first wore The swarthy blacke, the grassie-green, in 1560, soon became universal.

The pudding red, the dapple-gray.' To make the picture complete, we

Ear-rings of immense size were uni- have to add a profusion of bracelets, versally worn--and glittering with pre- necklaces, &c. and to put into the law cious stones. The ruff round their dy's hand an immense fan, constructed necks, says Dr Drake, under the foster- of ostrich feathers, with handles of ing care of the ladies, attained in stiff- gold, silver, or ivory, and wrought ness, fineness, and dimensions, the with great skill into various elegant most extravagant pitch of absurdity. forms. Of these fans the author of It reached behind to the very top of “ Quippes for upstart new-fangled the head, and the tenuity of the lawn gentlewomen,” 1595, says, or cambric of which it was made was Seeing they are still in hand such, that Stowe prophecies they would in house, in field, in church, in street, "shortly wear ruffis of a spider's web.” In summer, winter, water, land, The ruff being of such fine texture, In colde, in heate, in drie, in weet ; was strongly starched to make it stand I judge they are for wives such tools upright; and in addition to this, was

As baubles are, in playes, for fooles. supported by an underpropper, called

When a gentlewoman was arrayed a supertasse. Stubbs says,

as aforesaid, it was natural for her to or pillar, wherewith the devil's king- desire to see how she looked, and acdom of great ruffs is underpropped,

is a certain kind of liquid matter which ed her,-in the doing whereof, he writhed they call starch, wherein the devil has her neck in sunder, so she died miserably ; learned them to wash and die their her body being straight waies changed into Tuffs, which being dry, will stand stiff blue and black colours, most ugglesome to and inflexible about their necks."* behold, and her face (which before was so

amorous) became most deformed, and fear

full to look upon. This being known in On the 27th May 1582, a gentlewoman the city, great preparation was made for her of Amsterdam could not get her ruff plaited buriall, and a rich coffin was provided, and according to her taste, though she employed her fearful body was laid therein, and covertwo celebrated laundresses ; upon which, ed very smuptuously. Foure men immedisays Stubbs," she fell to swear and tear, ately assayed to lift up the corpse, but could to curse and ban, casting the ruffes under not move it; then six attempted the like, feete, and wishing that the devil might take - but could not once stirre it from the place her when she did wear any neck-arches where it stood. Whereat the standers-bye again.”. The devil assumed the form of a marvelling, caused the coffin to be opened beautiful young man, and “ tooke in hand to see the cause thereof :- where they found the setting of her ruffs, which he performed the body to be taken away, and a black to her great contentation and liking; inso- catte, very lean and deformed, sitting in the much, as she looking herself in a glasse (as coffin, setting of great ruffes, and frizling of the Devil bade her), became greatly enamour- hair, to the great fear and wonder of all the and of him. This done, the young man kisse beholders." VOL. III.


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cordingly a small looking-glass was After having dwelt so long on the worn pendent from the girdle, into dresses of the Elizabethan ladies, I which the fashionable coquette might am afraid that those of the Elizabeth ever and anon peep, to adjust the love- an gentlemen might be an

or odious knot that hung wantonly over her theme.” Yet, mayhap, your fair shoulders. Hear how Burton, in his readers may wish to know “ how lookanatomie of melancholy, enumerates ed a dandy in those golden days.” It the allurements of these gorgeous dam- would seem that they were much more sels.

capricious in their fashions than the " Why do they decorate themselves with ladies. And first, with respect to their artificial Howers, the various colours of herbs, heads, Harrison exclaims, needle works of exquisite skill, quaint de- nothing of your heads, which somevices, and perfume their persons, wear ines- times are polled, sometimes eurled, or timable riches in precious stones, crown suffered to grow at length like horthemselves with gold and silver, use coronets ror's locks ; many times cut off above and tiras of various fashions ; deck themselves with pendants, bracelets, ear-rings,

or below the ears, round as by a woodchains, girdles, rings, pins, spangles, em

en dish.” Decker, too, speaks of hair broideries, shadows, ribatoes, versicolar rib- growing thick and bushy like a bands ? Why do they make such glaring forest or wilderness,” to which he shows with their scarfs, feathers, fans, masks, seems to have been partial, dreading furs, laces, tiffanies, ruffs, falls, calls, cuffs, what he calls the " polling and shave damasks, velvets, tissets, cloth of gold, silver ing world.” The gentlemen of those tissue? Such setting up with sarks, strait- days, too, possessed an incalculable ening with whalebone, why, it is but as a advantage over those of the present in day-net catcheth larks, to make young ones stoop unto them. And when they are dis- the beard, a very useful and improveappointed, they dissolve into tears, which able instrument, to which the attenthey wipe away like sweat ; weep with one

tion of the age was very passionately eye, laugh with the other, or as children turned. Some,”


Harrison, weep and cry, they can both together and are shaven from the chin like those as much pity is to be taken of a woman weep- of the Turks, not a few cut short like ing, as of a goose going barefoot.'

to the beard of Marquese Otto, some To this eloquent lament I have no- made round like a rubbing brush, others thing to add. But will you, Mr Edi- with a pique-devant (o fine fashion !), tor, after this, pretend to find fault or now and then suffered to grow with the dress of the ladies of the pre- long, the barbers being as cunning in sent day? Who among them wear his behalf as the tailors." It required false hair, either partial and occasional infinite skill—a certain native delicacy curls, or universal and everlasting wigs? of taste-to suit the cut of the beard Who among them show on their cheeks to that of the face. other paint than the purple light of If a man have a lean and straight nature, love and beauty? Where now face, a Marquese Ottons cut will make the naked bosom-the smooth-swelling it broad and large as (Baxter's himself); breast of youthful loveliness,—the full- if it be platter like, a long slender er rotundity of matronly modesty, or beard will make it seem the narrower; the attenuated and shrivelled yellow- if he be well-beck'd, then much heare ness of single blessedness well stricken left on the cheekes will make the ownin years ? A shroud is over all we er look big like a boudled hen, and so love, over all we fear. Love is not grim as a goose,” &c. It appears also now a-days engendered in the eyes. from many passages in Shakspeare, Imagination is all in all. Neck, shoul- and the other dramatists, that beards ders, back, bosom, arms, ancles and were died of all possible colours; and legs, are like objects seen in a dream, art being thus called in to the assisttoo beautiful to endure the light of a ance of nature, a large company of waking existence,-and at the crowing gentlemen, by means of their beards of the cock or the ringing of the break- alone, made a most shining and refulfast-bell, all disenchanted into muffled- gent appearance. · To add to the brilup realities. If, Mr Editor, there be any liancy of the head, some lustie courone thing more characteristic of the tiers also, and gentlemen of courage, female dress of the present day than doe weare rings of gold, stones, or another, it seems to me to consist in pearle in their eares, whereby they what my Lord Castlereagh would call imagine the workmanship of God not the want of a “ fundamental feature,” to be a little amended. Nay they

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