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Observations on the Writings of George Petrarch's Letter to Posterity commomarca.313 Buchanan mo

...251 The British Ready Reckoner, and UniThe Story of Shakrak and the Magician versal Cambisto.com

...317 of Constantinople ; (being a subject for Principal Baird's Report on the Managea Melo-druma)

258 ment of the Poor in Scotland moema...320 On the State of Music in Scotland......265 Note to the Editor, (enclosing a Letter Time's Magic Lantherr, NoV. Dialogue to the Author of Beppo jo...common...323 between Lord Bacon and Shakspeare..270 Notices of the Acted Drama in London,

No VI. Johnson's Midnight Wulk 274 No VI... Kidd and Brander

277 History of Dr Brewster's Kaleidoscope, Poetical Account of an Oxford Exami. with Remarks on its supposed Resem. nation

280 blance to other Combinations of plain The Old Indian and Alpinam........ 282 Mirrors...wowo

331 Notice of Zacharie Boyd's “ Last Battel of the Soule”.




A few Thoughts on Public Feeling......294
The Cranidlogist's Review, No II. Greek

Works preparing for PUBLICATION..342


TIONS... moriaryo

344 No III. Oliver Cromwellcaroasaw.300 No IV. Franklin..coracao No V. Voltaire...cocomanaswasseneno



minoso -301 Jeffrey and Hazlittra

-303 SCOTTISH CHRONICLE mwana -349 Captain Thurston's Narrative of the tak- Commercial Report.


-356 ing of the Island of Timor, by H. M. Meteorological Report commoran 360 S. Hesper, in the year 1811 ( Commu- Promotions and Appointments.com.m361 nicated by Professor Pictet of Geneva ) 306 | Births, Marriages, and Deaths....363.

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To whom Communications (post paid ) may be addressed ;

(Oliver & Boyd, Printers.]

Here follow


Done into Metre by an ingenious friend.

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VERY singular report, we hear,

Has, with intent injurious and malicious,

Been stoutly circulated far and near,

That we, of public favour grown suspicious,
Intended no more NUMBERS should appear-

Our enemies are very keen to dish us,
And thought they had great cause their stars to thank,

When they perceived our Notice-page a blank.

Them we despise,—but to our friends we owe A kindred claim we deem in justice lies,
Some small apology for that omission,

'Gainst those that bring our parcels from far mart For all Contributors are fond to know

Highfliers, Bluchers, Cobourgs, Mails and Flys, Whether their articles shall have admission ;

And the long coaches and the carriers' carts. And we a most particular care bestow

(To pass in silence live commodities, To satisfy the excusable ambition

On our account transported to these parts ; Of clever persons that aspire to shine, O Blackwood ! in thy peerless Magazine.

The Glasgow Telegraph alone, we think,

Might well afford a dinner and a drink.)

As for the crowds of dull and prosing papers, But to return—why really this strange heat

From the four winds of heaven that daily reach us, We some of them employ-to light our tapers,

Agrees by no means with our constitution ;

It blunts the pens, it makes the ink a cheat, Another batch the empty grate enriches, The superfluity we lend our Drapers

It keeps ourselves in thaw and dissolution.

No wonder tho' we wander now and then, To take the measure of mankind for breeches, When every thing around is in confusion ; -The Publisher, besides, doth filch a few O for one deep, black thunder-gush of rain, About his roasting mutton-shanks to screw. Then should we sing “ Blackwood's himself again. IV.

VIII. But loyalty, as is of late well known,

(We do not wish to make a new digression, Is of our work and us a shining quality ;

But merely in parenthesis to state, And we derive great pleasure, we must own, That persons of the critical profession,

From knowing that much good comes in reality Out of this mania, that so rife has grown

Should in these dog-days pay attention great,

Their wasted carcasses each night to freshen, Among the literary commonalty,

And the expended moisture recreate
Of cramming thus that “ Bocca di Lione,”

By copious draughts of claret or old hock,
Our silent, ravenous, mouth-piece of Ebony. Or any shilpit liqueur in their stock.

We understand that the Post-Office here

Or if these foreign luxuries be beyond Finds business so increas'd since we began, The measure of their lean and limber purses ; That they're to leave their present shop next year

Still we'd by no means have them to despond, For one upon a more extensive plan. If Ministers did right, we think it clear,

Or vent a hasty spleen in envious curses.

For tho' of dainties we're extremely fond, They'd give a jolly treat to our divan,

We find we scribble fairish prose and verses ; By way of marking their respect official,

Altho? our only tipple is at times, For writers to the Fisk so beneficial.

A little weak rum-punch with ice and limes.)

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XVII. We can't express our hatred of this WE,

Were vanity our foible, (which it an't) We bear the monosyllable a grudge ;

The notice of such heroes were enough Tully, we think, in his Curulian glee,

To turn the head of the most pious saint ; First introduc'd at Rome the pompous fudge : Think only of a Lord, (with gesture gruff, But now it is a standing vanity,

Back'd by a Banker) making sore complaint From which no modern editor will budge;

About a little monthly piece of stuff! From Mr Jeffrey down to Mr Hone,

A whole Society of such renown
They all preserve the same imposing tone.

Harangued to put one Irish Ensign down.

Even we, (remark the tyranny of fashion !) Behold the Thistle of our native land

Even we, tho’ singular enough and single, 'Mid the gay garden rising like a queen!
We can't forbear, in spite of all our passion, How beautiful the airy leaves expand,
The same absurdity ourselves to mingle,

How soft the virgin coronal's purple sheen. With every sentiment-We cannot dash on, But stay, rash stranger, stay thy venturous hand;

Thro' one short stanza of our triple jingle; Grasp not the modest garment of her green. In short we should be sadly at a loss,

Our's be the emblem! Fops and fools beware,
Were we restricted froin our stately nos.

Admire in safety, touch us if ye dare !

But let that pass there's nothing half so wise, After this prelude “ Bion” will not stare,
As going on in the old jog-trot way;

Though we reject his quizzical “ Lament ;" “ Never no good doth come of novelties,"

We think it has a very wicked air, Se we'll be we until our dying day:

To such outrageous fury to give vent ; We wish, instead of aiming to surprise,

Moreover, still the Bailies' hopes are fair, By dash, originality, display,

For still the Court of Session may relent. We had from our commencement been thus sober, Besides it is a trick of good “ old John's," (Hang that confounded 20th of October !)

Of differing from them all to make no bones.

Then had our course of life been smoothly gliding There is no saying about things which lie
In moderate unenvied calm prosperity;

Far in the Fates' inscrutable dark womb,
Worthy old women then had not been chiding Of prophecies the wise are very shy,

Our deafening whirls and cataracts of asperity, But, 'spite of all the SCOTSMAN's boded gloom, Nor all the godless wits their faces hiding, We see not in the Magisterial sky Idoloclastis ictubus perterriti,

Any such symptoms of a dismal doom;
Nor whiggery's meteor dimly forced to twinkle Instinctive reverence still we entertain
Before the rising star of LAUERWINKEL.

For resolute Mackenzie's gown and chain.

No acid drop had tainted then the jorum

Heroic Provost !Hast thou ever been Of them that love the Yellow and the Blue ; Present when Shakspeare's Richard 3d was played ? Jeffrey had still been princeps criticorum,

Remember how the Pit applauded Kean, The undisputed oracle of gout ;

With hand disarmed still daring Henry's blade. And plain Scots heads had boo'd more majorum, Such awe was our's, when, on that real scene, To that despotic democrat Review,

Even in the front of Boyle, most bold Kincaid !
That over-rated much, but smart miscellany, In front of Craigie, Bannatyne, and Miller,
Which now we're boldly thrashing to a jelly nigh. Stedfast and stern, stood firm our civic pillar.

Then Hunt and Hazlitt, Haydon, Webb and Keats, The “ Letter on Election” is too long,

Had quaffed at Hampstead currant-wine in peace, Too ethically, querulously sad;
In gentle interchange of " fine conceits,

Bailies and Bailie's Wives have stomachs strong, Of “ Laurel Garlands," and of mutual grease ; And punch is, at this season, far from bad ; Such, we may gather, are their Cockney treats. And Candidates would do exceeding wrong

(Alas! that joys so heavenly e'er should cease ; To change old fashions to please any lad That envy such a paradise should visit,

That takes't into his head he is their betters, In the vile demon shape of crooked Z.)

Who do not drink green tea, or write dull letters.

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Then had Odoherty (mad bard !) not rushed It gives a Scottish Borough quite a spring,
On the high corpus of F. R. S. E's;

When civil gentlemen come hurrying down,
Nor from the tongues of cits hot foam had gushed, with heads agog on schemes of canvassing
Against some blarney about Irish fees;

They kiss the

voters' spouses thro' the town, Nor philosophic Peers with fury flushed, They kiss their daughters also, and they fing, Poissarded Ebony's enormities.

To every boy they meet with, half-a-crown ;(Imprudent mineralogist and banker,

Hot dinners and hot suppers are the word, For individual notice dost thou hanker ?)

And every Deacon is as drunk's a Lord.

2 I



And then, at night, to see the balls are given- Our female friends will hear, without regret,
Was ever such a glorious motley scene!

The OLD INDIAN's bunch of letters is reclaim'd; To see how the slim candidate is driven

Like other Bachelors, he used to fret, In furious circles by some strapping quean ; And female follies lustily he blamed. Or, how some sighing Jenny is in heaven,

But old Mysogynist Quizzes (never yet With compliments and squeezes soft between ;- Did we observe it fail) at last are tamed : To see the jigging, jolting, touzling, tumbling ; Old Tough's been fairly hooked by a shrewd aunt; Silks, flannels, chapeau-bras, blue bonnets jumbling. We wish him comfort in his marriage jaunt. XXV.

XXXII. If we had leisure, we could pen a treatise

'Tis just the season; in a chaise and pair Upon the real vulgar style of dancing ;

By day they roll thy margin green beside, People have no idea what a treat 'tis

Of lakes most classical, Winandermere ! To be a looker-on when they are prancing - Or on thy bosom in a skiff they glide. What an enormous twinkling 'mong their feet is, With spectacle on nose they stifly stare,

With what velocity their toes are glancing, And very bitterly the boatman chide, In, out, above, below, before, behind,

If, through his blundering, they be not relanded Your eye can't follow tho' you have a mind. The very minute dinner was commanded.

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No XV.

JUNE 1818.




word entirely in its primary sense); its professors seek and obtain popu

larity by sacrificing, after the example It is very far from being our intention of some other privileged orders, not a to enter upon any thing like a formal few of the most imposing, and therelamentation over the decay of classical fore most obnoxious, of their distinclearning in Scotland. And yet we are tions. We doubt, however, whether persuaded that, to an enlightened Ger- this method of proceeding be, upon man, Italian, or Englishman, it must the whole, either a wise or a just one. appear an almost inexplicable anomalé It may throw a deal of ready money in the constitution and appearance of into the hands of the present incumsuch a country as ours, that those au bents; but does it not very manifestly thors whose works, in every other part tend to maim and enfeeble the reof civilized Europe, are venerated and sources of their successors ? Nay, a studied as the best fountains of philo- democratic government is the most sophy, and the only perfect models of thankless of all masters ; and may pertaste, should be almost entirely over- haps repay only with contempt or exlooked among a people whose habits ile, those who have sacrificed the most, and conversation are tinged, to an in order to purchase its capricious and elsewhere unequalled degree, with the transitory favour. spirit of literature. The truth is, that The first race of authors who adopt we believe the unparalleled diffusion this mode of courting popular applause, of education among all classes of our although they may, bona fide, wish countrymen, however it may be en- and endeavour to follow it to its full titled to our gratitude for having ele- extent, are seldom able to do so. The vated and ennobled the spirits of our habits and prejudices of their earlier peasants and artizans, has, neverthe views and opinions cling to them, and less, been the means, in no inconsider- fetter them, in spite of all their efforts able degree, of degrading the literary to discard them. habits of those among us, whose busi- Quo semel estimbuta recens, servabit odorem, ness and ambition it is to be not only Testa diu. the subjects, but the instruments, of A certain tinge and flavour adheres, cultivation. When all men read, au- and betrays the old liquor in the midst thors soon find it to be their best poli- of all the drugs and adulterations to cy to write for all men. Those ele- which its receptacle has been exposgancies of allusion and of expression, ed. Besides, those who set the danand those labours of patient research, gerous example are sometimes not unwhose merits can be estimated by a willing that their followers should go very few only among any people, are farther than themselves ; or, it may gradually dropt; and modes of excite- be, do not scruple privately to take the ment, whose stimulus is of a more advantage of old guides and steppinguniversal application, come very na- stones, which they affect to consider turally to be adopted in their stead. as useless, and advise their pupils utThe tone of literature becomes every terly to despise. We strongly suspect, «lay more vulgar (we do not use the that somewhat of this kind has occur

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