Am I or that, or this, for what he'll utter,
That will speak any thing?

King. She hath that ring of yours.

Ber. I think, she has: certain it is, I lik'd

And boarded her i'the wanton way of youth:
She knew her distance, and did angle for me,
Madding my eagerness with her restraint,
As all impediments in fancy's course
Are motives of more fancy; and, in fine,
Her insuit coming with her modern grace,t
Subdued me to her rate: she got the ring;
And I had that, which any inferior might
At market-price have bought,

Dia. I must be patient;

You, that turn'd off a first so noble wife,
May justly diet me. I pray you yet,
(Since you lack virtue, I will lose a husband,)
Send for your ring, I will return it home,
And give me mine again.

Ber. I have it not.

King. What ring was yours, I pray you?
Dia. Sir, much like

The same upon your finger.

King. Know you this ring? this ring was his of late.

Dia. And this was it I gave him, being a-bed. King. The story then goes false, you threw it Out of a casement.

Dia. I have spoke the truth.

Enter PAROlles.


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charge you,

Not fearing the displeasure of your master, (Which, on your just proceeding, I'll keep off,) By him, and by this woman here, what know you?

Par. So please your majesty, my master hath been an honourable gentleman; tricks he hath had in him, which gentlemen have.

King. Come, come, to the purpose: Did he love this woman?

Par. 'Faith, Sir, he did love her; But how? King. How, I pray you?

Par. He did love her, Sir, as a gentleman loves a woman.

King. How is that?

Par. He loved her, Sir, and loved her not. King. As thou art a knave, and no knave:What an equivocal companions is this?

Par. I am a poor man, and at your majesty's command.

Laf. He's a good drum, my lord, but a naughty orator.

Dia. Do you know, he promised me marriage?

Par. 'Faith, I know more than I'll speak. King. But wilt thou not speak all thou


Par. Yes, so please your majesty; I did go between them, as I said; but more than that, he loved her, for, indeed, he was mad for her, and talked of Satan, and of limbo, and of furies, and I know not what: yet I was in that credit with them at that time, that I knew of their going to bed; and of other motions, as promising her marriage, and things that would

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Dia. It was not given me, nor I did not buy it.

King. Who lent it you?

Diu. It was not lent me neither.
King. Where did you find it then?
Dia. I found it not.

King. If it were yours by none of all these How could you give it him? [ways,

Dia. I never gave it him.

Laf. This woman's an easy glove, my lord; she goes off and on at pleasure.

King. This ring was mine, I gave it his first


Dia. It might be yours, or hers, for aught I know.

King. Take her away, I do not like her now; To prison with her: and away with him.Unless thou tell'st me where thou had'st this Thou diest within this hour.

Dia. I'll never tell you.
King. Take her away.
Dia. I'll put in bail, my liege.


King. I think thee now some common custo


Dia. By Jove, if ever I knew man, 'twas


King. Wherefore hast thou accus'd him all this while?

Dia. Because he's guilty, and he is not


He knows, I am no maid, and he'll swear to I'll swear, I am a maid, and he knows not. Great king, I am no strumpet, by my life; I am either maid, or else this old man's wife. [Pointing to LAFET. King. She does abuse our ears; to prison with her.

Dia. Good mother, fetch my bail.-Stay, royal Sir; [Exit WIDOW. The jeweller, that owest the ring, is sent for, And he shall surety me. But for this lord, Who hath abus'd me, as he knows himself, Though yet he never harm'd me, here I quit him:

He knows himself, my bed he hath defil'd; And at that time he got his wife with child: Dead though she be, she feels her young one kick;

So there's my riddle, One, that's dead, is quick:
And now behold the meaning.

Re-enter WIDOW, with HELENA.
King. Is there no exorcists
Beguiles the truer office of mine eyes?
Is't real, that I see?

Hel. No, my good lord;
Tis but the shadow of a wife you see,
The name and not the thing.

Ber. Both, both; O, pardon!
Hel. O, my good lord, when I was like this


I found you wond'rous kind. There is your And, look you, here's your letter; This it says, When from my finger you can get this ring, And are by me with child, &c.-This is done: Will you be mine, now you are doubly won?

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Ber. If she, my liege, can make me know | For I can guess, that, by thy honest aid, this clearly,

I'll love her dearly, ever, ever dearly.

Hel. If it appear not plain, and prove untrue,

Deadly divorce step between me and you!O, my dear mother, do I see you living?

Laf. Mine eyes smell onions, I shall weep anon:-Good Tom Drum, [To PAROLLES.] lend me a handkerchief: So, I thank thee; wait on me home, I'll make sport with thee: Let thy courtesies alone, they are scurvy ones. King. Let us from point to point this story know,

To make the even truth in pleasure flow:If thou be'st yet a fresh uncropped flower, [To DIANA. Choose thou thy husband, and I'll pay thy dower;

Thou kept'st a wife herself, thyself a maid.-
Of that, and all the progress, more and less,
Resolvedly more leisure shall express:
All yet seems well; and, if it end so meet,
The bitter past, more welcome is the sweet.


The king's a beggar, now the play is done: All is well ended, if this suit be won, That you express content; which we will pay, With strife to please you, day exceeding day: Ours be your patience then, and yours our parts ;* Your gentle hands lend us, and take our hearts. [Exeunt.

* I. e. Hear us without interruption, and take our parts, support and defend us.

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SCENE, Sometimes in Padua; and sometimes SCENE, Athens; and sometimes Ferando's in Petruchio's House in the Country.

Country House.


SCENE I.-Before an Alehouse on a Heath. Enter HOSTESS and SLY.

Sly. I'll pheese* you, in faith. Host. A pair of stocks, you rogue! Sly. Y'are a baggage; the Slies are no rogues: Look in the chronicles, we came in with Richard Conqueror. Therefore, paucas pallabris; † let the world slide: Sessa!+

Host. You will not pay for the glasses you have burst?

Sly. No, not a denier: Go by, says Jeronimy-Go to thy cold bed, and warm thee.|| Host. I know my remedy, I must go fetch the thirdborough. [Exit.

Sly. Third, or fourth, or fifth borough, I'll answer him by law: I'll not budge an inch, boy; let him come, and kindly.

[Lies down on the ground, and falls asleep. Wind horns. Enter a LORD from hunting, with Huntsmen and Servants.


Brach Merriman, the poor cur is emboss'd,
And couple Clowder with the deep-mouth'd
Saw'st thou not, boy, how Silver made it good
At the hedge corner, in the coldest fault?
I would not lose the dog for twenty pound.

1 Hun. Why, Belman is as good as he, my He cried upon it at the merest loss, [lord; And twice to-day pick'd out the dullest scent: Trust me, I take him for the better dog.

Lord. Thou art a fool; if Echo were as fleet, I would esteem him worth a dozen such. But sup them well, and look unto them all; To-morrow I intend to hunt again. 1 Hun. I will, my lord.

Lord. What's here? one dead, or drunk? See, doth he breathe?

2 Hun. He breathes, my lord: Were he not warm'd with ale,

This were a bed but cold to sleep so soundly. Lord. O monstrous beast! how like a swine

he lies!

[image! Grim death, how foul and loathsome is thine Lord. Huntsman, I charge thee, tender well Sirs, I will practise on this drunken man.

my hounds:

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What think you, if he were convey'd to bed, Wrapp'd in sweet clothes, rings put upon his fingers,

A most delicious banquet by his bed,

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And brave attendants near him when he wakes,

Would not the beggar then forget himself? 1 Hun. Believe me, lord, I think he cannot choose.

2 Hun. It would seem strange unto him when he wak'd.

Lord. Even as a flattering dream, or worthless fancy.

Then take him up, and manage well the jest:-
Carry him gently to my fairest chamber,
And hang it round with all my wanton pic-


Balm his foul head with warm distilled waters, And burn sweet wood to make the lodging sweet:

Procure me music ready when he wakes,
To make a dulcet and a heavenly sound;
And if he chance to speak, be ready straight,
And, with a low submissive reverence,
Say,-What is it your honour will command?
Let one attend him with a silver bason,
Full of rose-water, and bestrew'd with flowers;
Another bear the ewer, the third a diaper,t
And say,-Will't please your lordship cool
your hands?


Some one be ready with a costly suit,
And ask him what apparel he will wear;
Another tell him of his hounds and horse,
And that his lady mourns at his disease:
Persuade him, that he hath been lunatic;
And, when he says he is-, say, that he dreams,
For he is nothing but a mighty lord.
This do, and do it kindly, gentle Sirs;
It will be pastime passing excellent,
If it be husbanded with modesty.§

1 Hun. My lord, I warrant you, we'll play our part,

As he shall think, by our true diligence,
He is no less than what we say, he is.
Lord. Take him up gently, and to bed with


And each one to his office, when he wakes. [Some bear out SLY. A trumpet sounds. Sirrah, go see what trumpet 'tis that sounds:[Exit SERVANT. Belike, some noble gentleman; that means, Travelling some journey, to repose him here.—

Re-enter a SERVANT.

How now? who is it?

Serv. An it please your honour, Players that offer service to your lordship. Lord. Bid them come near:


Now, fellows, you are welcome.

1 Play. We thank your honour. Lord. Do you intend to stay with me tonight?

2 Play. So please your lordship to accept our duty.

Lord. With all my heart.-This fellow I reremember,

Since once he play'd a farmer's eldest son;Twas where you woo'd the gentlewoman so well:

I have forgot your name; but, sure, that part Was aptly fitted, and naturally perform'd. 1 Play. I think, 'twas Soto that your honour

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Well, you are come to me in happy time;
The rather for I have some sport in hand,
Wherein your cunning can assist me much.
There is a lord will hear you play to-night:
But I am doubtful of your modesties:
Lest, over-eying of his odd behaviour,
(For yet his honour never heard a play,)
You break into some merry passion,
And so offend him: for I tell you, Sirs,
If you should smile, he grows impatient.
i Play. Fear not, my lord; we can contain

Were he the veriest antick in the world.

Lord. Go, sirrab, take them to the buttery, And give them friendly welcome every one: Let them want nothing that my house affords. [Exeunt SERVANT and PLAYERS. Sirrah, go you to Bartholomew my page, [To a SERVANT. And see him dress'd in all suits like a lady: That done, conduct him to the drunkard's chamber,

And call him-madam, do him obeisance,—
Tell him from me, (as he will win my love,)
He bear himself with honourable action,
Such as he hath observ'd in noble ladies
Unto their lords, by them accomplished:
Such duty to the drunkard let him do,
With soft low tongue, and lowly courtesy ;
And say,-What is't your honour will com-

Wherein your lady, and your humble wife,
May show her duty, and make known her love?
And then-with kind embracements, tempting


And with declining head into his bosom,
Bid him shed tears, as being overjoy'd
To see her noble lord restor❜d to health,
Who, for twice seven years, hath esteemed him
No better than a poor and loathsome beggar:
And if the boy have not a woman's gift,
To rain a shower of commanded tears,
An onion will do well for such a shift;
Which in a napkin being close convey'd,
Shall in despite enforce a watery eye. [canst;
See this despatch'd with all the haste thou
Anon I'll give thee more instructions.-

I know, the boy will well usurp the grace,
Voice, gait, and action of a gentlewoman:
I long to hear him call the drunkard, husband;
And how my men will stay themselves from


When they do homage to this simple peasant.
I'll in to counsel them: haply* my presence
May well abate the over-merry spleen,
Which otherwise would grow into extremes.

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honour, nor lordship: I never drank sack in my life; and if you give me any conserves, give me conserves of beef: Ne'er ask me what raiment I'll wear; for I have no more doublets than backs, no more stockings than legs, nor no more shoes than feet; nay, sometimes, more feet than shoes, or such shoes as my toes look through the over-leather.

Lord. Heaven cease this idle humour in your

O, that a mighty man, of such descent,
Of such possessions, and so high esteem,
Should be infused with so foul a spirit!

Sly. Am I a lord? and have I such a lady?
Or do I dream? or have I dream'd till now?
I do not sleep: I see, I hear, I speak;
I smell sweet savours, and I feel soft things:-
Upon my life, I am a lord, indeed;
And not a tinker, nor Christophero Sly.-
Well, bring our lady hither to our sight;
And once again, a pot o' the smallest ale.
2 Serv. Will't please your mightiness to wash
your hands?

Sly. These fifteen years, by my fay,* a goodly

[SERVANTS present an ewer, basin, and napkin. O, how we joy to see your wit restor❜d! O, that once more you knew but what you are! Sly. What, would you make me mad? Am These fifteen years you have been in a dream; not I Christopher Sly, old Sly's son of Burton-Or, when you wak'd, so wak'd as if you slept. heath; by birth a pedlar, by education a cardmaker, by transmutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wife of Wincot, if she know me not: if she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale, score me up for the lyingest knave in Christendom. What, I am not bestraught: Here's

1 Serv. O, this it is, that makes your lady


2 Serv. O, this it is that makes your servants droop.

Lord. Hence comes it that your kindred shun
your house,

As beaten hence by your strange lunacy.
O, noble lord, bethink thee of thy birth; [ment,
Call home thy ancient thoughts from banish-
And banish hence these abject lowly dreams:
Look how thy servants do attend on thee,
Each in his office ready at thy beck.
Wilt thou have music? hark! Apollo plays,

And twenty caged nightingales do sing:
Or wilt thou sleep? we'll have thee to a couch,
Softer and sweeter than the lustful bed
On purpose trimm'd up for Semiramis. [ground:
Say, thou wilt walk; we will bestrew the
Or wilt thou ride? thy horses shall be trapp'd,
Theirharness studded all with gold and pearl.
Dost thou love hawking? thou hast hawks will


Above the morning lark: Or wilt thou hunt?
Thy hounds shall make the welkin answer


And fetch shrill echoes from the hollow earth.
1 Serv. Say, thou wilt course; thy greyhounds
are as swift

As breathed stags, ay, fleeter than the roe.
2. Serv. Dost thou love pictures? we will
fetch thee straight

Adonis, painted by a running brook :
And Cytherea all in sedges hid; [breath,
Which seem to move and wanton with her
Even as the waving sedges play with wind.
Lord. We'll show thee Io, as she was a maid;
And how she was beguiled and surpris'd,
As lively painted as the deed was done.
3 Serv. Or Daphne, roaming through a thorny
Scratching her legs that one shall swear she
And at that sight shall sad Apollo weep,
So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn.
Lord. Thou art a lord, and nothing but a
Thou hast a lady far more beautiful [lord:
Than any woman in this waning age.

1 Serv. And, till the tears that she hath shed

for thee,

Like envious floods, o'er-ran her lovely face,
She was the fairest creature in the world;
And yet she is inferior to none.

* Distracted.


But did I never speak of all that time?

1 Serv. O, yes, my lord; but very idle words:For though you lay here in this goodly chamber, Yet would you say, ye were beaten out of door; And rail upon the hostess of the house; And say, you would present her at the leet,t Because she brought stone jugs and no seal'd quarts: [Hacket. Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Sly. Ay, the woman's maid of the house. 3 Serv. Why, Sir, you know no house, nor

no such maid;

Nor no such men, as you have reckon'd up,-
As Stephen Sly, and old John Naps of Greece,
And Peter Turf, and Henry Pimpernell ;
And twenty more such names and men as these,
Which never were, nor no man ever saw.
Sly. Now, Lord be thanked for my good

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