152

ANECDOTES FROM INDIA

ELEGANCE of manners, vivacity, and a desire of pleasing, united with the graces of conversation and a ready wit, are qualities that give their possessors great influence over their companions; and may be applied to excellent purposes, if their owner enjoys also a good heart, a sound judgment, and strict principles of morality. But it too often happens, that these attractive endowments, though dazzling, are dangerous; and few who have been distinguished for them in an eminent degree, have learnt the difficult lesson of restraining their gaiety within the bounds of moderation. Gay and thoughtless are kindred qualities, often seen in the same persons; and, however engaging they may appear, have nothing desirable in them, unless they rest on a solid foundation.

The late lieutenant-colonel John Mordaunt possessed all the talents for an agreeable companion. He had a fine person, a lively genius, a repartee always at hand, dexterity and address in most kinds of sports, and was an ardent votary to pleasure. In convivial companies in India, where he passed the chief of his life, the fascinating charms of his good nature and vivacity, threw a veil over his gross ignorance, want of application, and general dissipation, the disadvantages of which, even interest could not surmount. He neglected his profession for pleasurable pursuits, and loitered away that time in

which he should have advanced himself, in the luxuries and diversions of the Nabob's court at Lucknow.

During his stay with this prince, who was called the Nabob Vizier Asopt Ul Daulah, he became a very great favourite with him, and received a handsome salary and many distinguished privileges from his patron. The will of this sovereign was a law for his subjects, from which there was no appeal. Every thing they held dear was at the disposal of this weak, idle, contemptible man, who often abused his power in the most wanton manner. Colonel Mordaunt sometimes humanely interposed the great influence he had over the mind of this tyrant, and saved the victims on the verge of being sacrificed to his rash vengeance.

Zoffani, the portrait painter, happened to be at Lucknow at the same time that Mordaunt was there, and, in a humorous moment, imprudently painted the Nabob at full length, but in high caricature. The picture being at colonel Martine's, where old Zoffani resided, and the colonel's house being the resort of immense numbers of the natives, especially of those, who, when the Nabob wanted money, took his jewels to the colonel's to be pledged, it was not long before the prince was informed of the joke. In the first moments of irritation at the liberty taken with his august person, he was disposed to make the painter a head shorter for his trouble, and to dismiss the colonel, who was his chief engineer, and had the charge of his arsenal; but as nothing could be done without his "dear friend Mordaunt," a message was dispatched, requiring his immediate attendance, on

matters of the greatest importance. This being a very stale mode of summoning Mordaunt, who would attend, or rather visit, only when it was agreeable to himself, would have probably been disregarded, had not the messenger stated, that the Nabob was incensed against Zoffani and Martine.

Mordaunt found the Nabob foaming with rage, and about to proceed, with a host of rabble attendants, to the colonel's. However, he got the story out of him as well as he could, and argued him into a state of calmness, sufficient to suffer his purpose to be suspended until the next day. So soon as it could be done with safety, Mordaunt retired, and, as privately as possible, sent a note to Zoffani, with intelligence of the intended visit.

No time was lost, and the laughable caricature was in a few hours changed, by the magic pencil of Zoffani, into a superb portrait, highly ornamented, and such an inimitable resemblance of the Vizier, that it has been preferred to all which have been taken when he sat for them.

The Vizier did not fail to come, his mind full of anxiety for the honour of his dignified person, attended by Mordaunt, whose feelings for his friend's fate was speedily tranquillised, when, on entering the portrait chamber, the picture in question shone forth so superbly, as to astonish the Vizier, and to sully even the splendour which his whole equipage displayed on the occasion. Asopt was delighted, hurried the picture home, gave Zoffani ten thousand rupees for it, and ordered the person who had so officiously informed him of the supposed

caricature, to have his nose and ears cut off. Mordaunt, however, was equally successful in obtaining the poor fellow's pardon; and as the Nabob would no longer retain him as a servant, very generously made him one of his own pensioners.

His power over the mind of this fickle potentate, which in the days of superstition might have passed for witchcraft, occurred on another occasion, in which he exerted his influence in the cause of humanity.

The hajam, or barber, who cut his excellency's hair, happened to draw blood, by going a little into the quick. This is considered as an offence of the highest atrocity: because crowned heads, throughout India, become degraded, if one drop of their blood be spilt by a barber; over whom a drawn sword is always held, while performing his office, to remind him of his fate in case of the slightest incision.

The Nabob, actuated by the common prejudice of his countrymen, had ordered the barber to be baked to death in an oven, when Mordaunt applied for his pardon. He could only obtain it conditionally; and, to be sure, the terms on which it was granted were both ludicrous and whimsical.

Balloons were just invented at the time this happened, and colonel Martine being very ingenious, had made one which had taken up a considerable weight for short distances.

The Nabob changed suddenly from great wrath to a burst of laughter, which continued so long as to alarm Mordaunt; whose pleasure was extreme when he heard

that, instead of being baked, the barber was to mount in a balloon, and to brush through the air as chance might direct him.

It was accordingly settled, the balloon being sent off from his higness's fore court. The barber was carried, more dead than alive, at a prodigious rate, to Poliergurge, distant about five miles from the city of Luck

now.

It is with regret I must add, that the man who was so capable of compassion and sympathy, though a gentleman, had never had sufficient application to learn the common art requisite to write a letter; that he associated with gamblers and black-legs, and degraded himself with acquiring the knowledge of their tricks; was thoughtless in the extreme, indulging he inclination of the moment, unrestrained by prudence or consideration. He was beloved, admired, and pitied. Why was he so amiable, without approaching nearer to the perfect character of a man of religion and virtue? Honour was the rule by which he professed to act. He was a proof, that without a higher principle, it is an imperfect guide, and incapable of exalting a man to that degree of excel lence whice he is destined to reach.