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of her beloved infants. Before they had learned to he thought an assurance of his wife's attachment lisp her name, almost before they could distinguish to me. He knew I was once her admirer ; he had her by the first sweet recognitory smile that glad heard that we had met often since, and he found dens a mother's heart, they were successively cut me now at her feet, her hands clasped in mine. off. These repeated bereavements her superstitious These things had an aspect black as guilt could fancy ascribed to a deserved judgment on her clan- wear. destine interviews with me. In vain I represented He furiously demanded instant satisfaction. I that our conversations were such as might be pub- refused it; I submitted to be called coward; I was lished to the world with honor to her, and that they patient now, when patience availed so little ; inexwere all that enabled me to endure a miserable pressible contempt for me seemed to restore his selfbeing ; still, the mystery, the secrecy with which possession ; he turned from me as from a reptile they were attended, wounded her tender conscience. unworthy hatred, and folding his arms, looked Her youngest and only child, Jessie, I think it was sternly into the face of his mute, but heart-stricken called, had lived several months, and gave promise wife. • For you, fair serpent, you shall live as of a healthful constitution, when, at the usual time, long as Heaven will let you. From this day I deI paid my visit. Anxiety and fear had thrown the vote myself to your punishment. The world shall fond mother into a low nervous fever, as the period not know your shame, for your shame is mine and of my coming approached. She was confined to my child's; you shall live under my roof, but you her bed when I arrived, and sent her nurse to in- shall neither know peace nor rest ; my ears shall form me of her inability to see me, and to intreat be deaf to your prayers, my eyes shall be blind to my forbearance, at least, this year. I complied, your beauty. I divorce you from my heart henceand the event seemed to justify her former fancies, forth and forever. Penitence may serve you in for her child continued to live. I myself began to another world, but I am no God, that I should forfear that uneasiness of mind, fostering an inherent give so black a wrong as this.” delicacy of constitution, might be the remote cause The mistaken, but not, therefore, less miserable of her trying calamities. Touched with compassion, man, after uttering these words with almost maniaand doubling the permanence of my favorable dis- cal vehemence, rushed down the rocks towards the positions, I resolved to put it out of my own power beach. Lily rose to follow him, saying to me in a to harass her further by going to India. Accord-changed, hollow voice, “ Are you much hurt, uningly, I wrote to her, stating my determination to happy man?" quit these kingdoms on condition that she would “Ay, to the heart's core with vain remorse. How permit me to take a last farewell of her. I received you must hate me!” her joyful, grateful assent, and we again met, for “ No, oh no, indeed, you are not more guilty the last time on earth.

now than you were five minutes since, when I She sat beside me in a small recess formed by the called you my friend. Be still my friend, and to rock, considerably above the beach, and almost on prove it, leave these kingdoms instantly. You have a level with the adjoining valley. As I gazed on my pity, for your misfortunes have far outweighed her faded cheek and altered eye, I rejoiced that I your crimes; farewell, and may God bless you! had agreed to her wishes before it was too late. My prayers shall follow you to the ends of the Misjudging fool! it was already too late. She earth.” spoke to me more kindly than she had ever done Ah! noble and tender heart that never yet was since her marriage ; yet I perceived that she was pierced, but it gave forth balm. solicitous to shorten the interview. When about to She hastened after her husband, fearless in her leave me for the last time, she held out both her innocence, and in her noble simplicity convinced hands to bid me farewell. I seized and pressed that truth had but to speak and be believed. Her them to my lips and heart, shedding sadder, but low but clear tones were borne to me by the balmy purer and sweeter, tears than any I had ever known. evening breeze. Suddenly a sharp tread rung upon the rocks above “ Dear Richard, what frenzy is this? Am I not us, and, before I could look round or recognize the your own loved and loving wife ?" intruder, I received a pistol-shot in my right arm. "Fawning hypocrite, begone! Dare not to

“ Base villain!” shouted the infuriated Logan, touch me!" “has it not reached your wicked heart? Oh! for “Richard, as I hope to meet my heavenly judge, another weapon!”

I am innocent in thought-in word-in deed.” The wound I had received rendered me faint but “ Devil! but I will not kill you. not insensible. Lily remained motionless as the you out of pain. My revenge shall be as deep and rock on which she sat. I saw with horror and in- lasting as my torments." He threw her slight, effectual remorse the fatal effects of my passionate clinging form from him with a violence that prosand selfish conduct. I valued not my life, could Itrated her on the sand; then, raising his hand menbut restore my hapless victim to her husband's con-acingly towards me, cried, “ Pitiful poltroon! if fidence. I attempted to explain, to state the simple Scotland holds you to-morrow, the earth shall be truth ; as well might I have talked to the raging rid of you or me before to-morrow night.” sea. Some officious, but, perhaps, well-intentioned Having said this, he strode out of sight. Faint person had acquainted him with our correspondence. with grief and loss of blood, I sat listening to Lily's He had hastened up from town and witnessed what convulsive sobs as she lay on the spot where her

I will not put

unhappy husband had cast her. I dared not ap- laged them as a refuge from painful thought, but proach to offer assistance. At last she arose, and they gained strength; and when, shortly before her waving her handkerchief to me in adieu, pointed to death, his once loved wife wrote him a long, exculthe sea in intimation of her wish for my departure, patory letter, imploring forgiveness and a last emthen proceeded slowly towards her changed and brace, he was incapable of reading or comprehendmelancholy home.

ing it. She died (and terrible to her it must have In less than a month after, I was on my voyage been so to die) unpitied and deserted ; and the love to India. I had been there five or six years, wh and justice which she had so long and vainly craved I read in an old newspaper that—" Lily, wife of were lavished without measure on her memory. Richard Logan, died of a lingering disease, esteemed There is no need " to point the moral" of my and lamented by all who knew her.”

tale. All may read it in my childless, hopeless, and I wrote to my sister, requesting her to learn from unhappy old age. It was perhaps more the fault her nurse the particulars of Lily's death, and of her of another than my own that I lost the object of my husband's treatment of her. She did so, and the early affection ; yet even then happiness was not intelligence infixed still more deeply the deadly placed beyond my reach. When the impassable arrows of remorse. Logan kept but too fatally his barrier was placed between my lost love and me, vow of vengeance. His incomparable wife, loving had I left her alone with her destiny, she would him sincerely, and compassionating a mistake which, soon have made it a happy one. For myself, abwith her usual heavenly indulgence, she considered sence, and the death of hope, would have been the an ample apology for his worst harshness, tried death of passion, and I might, in time, have made every feminine, every affectionate art, to win back another and more fortunate choice.

But I spent his esteem and love. With trembling solicitude the prime of manhood in madly cherishing an attachshe adorned her lovely person, in hopes to catch ment which finally drove me into exile, haunted by one favoring glance, she sent humble and loving a remorse which left no space for gentler passions. messages by the lips of their only child, but he was It

may seem strange that being so conscious of immovable-nay, savage. Doting on her as he had the source from which my misfortunes have sprung, done, he was stung to madness by the fact, which I should still yield to the transports of a temper she could not deny, that she had married him while which render me a plague to myself and to my her heart was mine ; and he laughed to scorn her friends. To this can only reply that age, and assurances of after love for him, knowing, as he sorrow, and disease, are sorry sweeteners of a temdid, that she had privately continued her former per that was not sweet even in the morn and liquid acquaintance with me. Still he was careful of her dew of youth.” reputation, and perhaps it was with the intention Youths and maidens, if you would choose a wife, of accounting to the world for his changed conduct if you would choose a husband, let temper be your to her, that he rushed at once into habits of intoxi- first-second-and third consideration. cation. Perhaps he might have originally encour

(OMAI THE SANDWICH-ISLANDER.)

“ But the most memorable circumstance I recol" I once was with him at an elegant repast, lect, relative to Omai, was when he was stung by where stewed morello cherries were offered, which a wasp. He came in whilst we were at breakfast being mistaken by him, he instantly jumped up, and at Hinchinbrook, his hand was violently swelled, quitted the room. Several followed him; but he and he appeared to be in great agony, but could not gave them to understand that he was no more ac- explain the cause. At last, not being in possession customed to partake of human blood than they were. of the word wasp, he made us understand that he He continued rather sulky for some time, and at had been wounded by a soldier bird. We were all last it was only by partaking of some of them our- astonished ; and Dr. Solander very well remarked, selves that he would be convinced of his error, and that considering the allusion to the wings and the induced to return again to the table.

weapon, he did not know that any of the naturalists “Lord Sandwich one day, at Hinchinbrook, pro- could have given a more excellent definition. posed that Omai should dress a shoulder of mutton “ But now the time for his quitting England was in his own manner; and he was quite delighted, fast approaching ; for government judged his return for he always wished to make himself useful. Hav- to his own country necessary, lest the natives might ing dug a deep hole in the ground, he placed fuel fancy that we had murdered him; and his stay might at the bottom of it, and then covered it with clean have rendered the cause of bringing him abortive. pebbles ; when properly heated, he laid the mutton, He was loaded with trinkets, but did not seem much neatly enveloped in leaves, at the top, and having to regard them; and after I had arrived in Leicesclosed the hole walked constantly around it, very tershire, I was informed that he was not at all condeliberately observing the sun. The meat was cerned at the thoughts of leaving any of us ; and, afterwards brought to table, was much commended, indeed, I felt rather vexed that we should have and all the company partook of it. And let not the wasted so much anxiety about him; but suddenly fastidious gourmand deride this simple method; for returning to town, I unfortunately met Omai on the are not his own wheat-ears, or his field-fares, now raised pavement in Parliament street, leading to the frequently brought to table wrapped in vine leaves ? admiralty, and there he strongly convinced me to And are not his pheasants or partridges, smothered the contrary. He was miserable, and I was never up in cabbage, almost as well known in St. James'- much more affected.”—Cradock's Literary and Misstreet as in the purlieus of the Palais-royal ? cellaneous Memoirs, vol. i., p. 127.

ment,

should fail me. CHAP. XVII.-MADELINE'S DIARY CONTINUED.

When I set my foot on the deck

one wild, terrible thought of my baby shot into my I have a very confused recollection of that heart ; but I drove it from me as though it had night. I do not wish to make it more distinct ; been a serpent; for I felt that if it remained with it is with a shudder and a struggle that I remem- me, I could not wrestle against it. I hurried to ber it all. Yet I do not know why this should my miserable conch, and was soon overcome by be, for certainly the cool and conscious thought welcome palsy of mind and body. There was a which succeeded it was incomparably more pain- storm. I remember well how I hoped that the ful. I remember sitting down at the foot of a ship might go down. God, forgive me! I will tree and resting awhile, in an exhaustion that was not dwell on this. not sleep, but a kind of stupefaction of the senses, I did not learn till afterwards the circumstances and, therefore, welcome. And I have before my which prevented the discovery of my escape. Of eyes even now, more vivid than any visible repre-course, my absence was not known till the mornsentation, the picture of the sudden dawn—a yel- ing; and then, I suppose, it created some dismay ; low streak along the far horizon, narrow at first, although I do not believe there was one in the then rapidly widening, and then the springing up house would regret it in any true sense of the of the glorious sun, filling the earth with beauty, and word. I can fancy the scared maid betaking herthe heavens with splendor, as it were, in a mo- self to her master after knocking repeatedly at my

I can see one solitary bush that stood a door in vain ; then the assaults renewed; the suglittle to the left, on a space of smooth green-sward ; gestion that an entrance might be made by the balI can hear the outburst of song from a grove of cony; the open window causing some wonder, and olives on the other side ; I note the form, though the untenanted bed a good deal more. Then they neither striking nor lovely in itself, of a particular looked at each other, and were puzzled, and perhillock in the foreground, which broke the line of haps my father grew a little pale ; and they went the distance, and at which I kept looking, stead out into the garden, with no very definite idea of fastly and vacantly, till my eye-balls seemed to be what they expected to find ; and they wandered aching as it engrossed itself upon them. How about, vainly looking for indications of something. strange, that these alone of all the sights and And something at last they found—a white laced sounds which must have passed during those hours, pocket-handkerchief, gleaming white among the and which I heeded no more than one born blind weeds at the river side, close to the path on which and deaf, should have associated themselves with the very side-gate by which I had gone forth, the suffering, and become a part of it ; framing, so opened. I did not even know that I had dropped to speak, the everlasting picture of remembrance ! it, and little guessed that a deceitful gust of wind I have hated a sunrise ever since ; there is to me had wafted it just there, and made it the unconinexpressible desolateness in it. Earth seems to scious asserter of a lie. I suppose they felt some be dressing herself out like a victim for the sacri- horror when they saw it. Sudden death is always fice. I never feel the light upon my eyelids with terrible, if it be only a dog that dies ; and perhaps out thinking of the myriad griefs which have, the reflection that the last words we had ever experhaps, been temporarily forgotten, and which changed had been words of anger, may have hung are beginning anew. I seem to hear a jarring a little coldly and heavily about my husband's summons as the day goes forth, “Now begin heart. But, on the whole, when the shock was again to bear life!” Happy those whose fragile over, it must have been a relief to him. natures are crushed at once under the burthen! seem dreadful to write this; many things that

As the light came my consciousness returned ; men dwell upon in their thoughts seem dreadful that is, returned so far as to enable me once more when they are written down. And so we dress to pursue and grasp my purpose. In terror lest I up our thoughts even to ourselves, as a child should have endangered its success by a pause, the dresses up a figure, and afterwards looks at it, and duration of which I was wholly unable to esti- almost believes it is alive. But we cannot make mate, I once more rose, and hurried onwards. the reality less hideous by disguising it; the utI cannot go through the details of this history. I most we can do is to talk cant about it, and to call have already compared the cunning which directed those men coarse and unfeeling who are brave my movements to the craft of insanity, and, I re-enough to strip off the tawdry wrappers and enpeat, I believe they were closely akin. I obtained counter it in its true unsightliness. There are a conveyance to the sea-port town to which I have not many such men in the world; and, indeed, it before alluded ; secured my passage in a vessel is well for the world's self-complacency that they about to sail for England; parted with some of are so few. my jewels, having previously taken the precaution Why should I write any more? All the rest of breaking them out of their settings, Jest they of life has been a blank—faint, dreary, unineaning. should by possibility be recognized; procured my-There came a time when I retraced the past delibself a decent outfit, and took possession of my berth ; erately, and with cold, cruel gaze examined every all this with no longer intermission than was ab- step that I had taken in my self-deception. How solutely necessary for taking some nourishment; I disdained myself! I felt that I had fallen too an act which I performed not because I felt the low even for pity. I was a subject for scorn and need of it, but because I feared lest my strength very ridicule. So poor a counterfeit had 1 em

It may

braced as a reality! I was like one who should I carry it to the jeweller in person, and fair to conbuild a miserable pagoda at the foot of Mont clude that he might be in league with some gang, Blanc, and, sitting within its puny shadow, believe to a member of which he had entrusted it. The that it overtopped the mountain ; and now I had punishment which he suffered, on conviction, was risen and moved but a few steps, and, lo! I dis- certainly no more than he deserved ; and as it cancovered how mean and contemptible had been my not be supposed that he was habitually a scrupuillusion! Not only was all happiness taken from lous truth-teller, he had no reason to complain if me forever, but I had to confess that had never one of his rare truths passed for a lie. been mine at all. I was robbed even of the luxu

My poor friend!

She had only one idea of ry of regret.

consolation ; and that was to coax or compel the There was but one person to whom I could gom sufferer to eat ;--food was her solitary refuge from the humble friend who had been my companion in grief. What did I not endure whilst with her! happier days. I knew her to be weak and gentle, I still seem to feel the wretched heart-sinking but serupulously true ; and I trusted to her habit with which, as I lay or sat in dreamy, miserable of yielding to my stronger will, and was not mis- stupor, I used to see the door softly turn upon its taken in supposing that I could bend her to my hinges, to admit her kind, hospitable, tormenting purpose. Once having obtained her promise, that face. If I were warned soon enough, I could she would keep my secret, I knew that I was se- always feign sleep; and then, after one inquiring cure; a breach of that promise would have haunt- look, she would withdraw as noiselessly as she ed her conscience like a ghost. Yet she con- had come. But if a movement or a glance hedemned herself for giving it, and used all possible trayed me, she would enter cautiously, and apargument and persuasion to induce me to return to proach my sofa with some unhappy compound in what she called "

my duty,” and it was curious her hand, expressly devised for my restoration. to see how very criminal she thought me ; and The sole picture which my memory forms of her yet low quietly she submitted, without any keen is that of a figure carrying a basin of broth! self-reproach, because a few hasty words had I have often thought how strangely circumbound her before she clearly understood the cir- stances combined to favor my concealment. My cumstances-bound her, as she believed, so close- friend had changed her residence some months ly, that action was simply impossible. There are before I came to her—not a creature in the neighpersons to whom a sin of sharp outline seems so borhood had ever seen me. She pressed me to much deadlier than one of great substance-in remain with her. I was at that time so feeble whose eyes an act is far more awful than a habit; both in soul and body, that I might have easily and she was one of these. Then, out of her mere been induced to acquiesce. I was almost passive gentleness and gratitude, she would have done any in her hands ;-had her will been strong enough thing in the world to console and help me. She to induce her to take me back to my husband, nursed me through a long, dangerous illness, which I believe I should have gone. Every spark of followed my arrival in England ; and by her means energy was extinguished within me ; even the I was finally settled at Croye, to wear out, as best power of feeling pain was so far deadened that the I might, in retirement and daily labor, the wretch-idea of it created no horror.

But she had a way ed years left to me. I suppose it is strange that my of talking to me which I could not bear; and this escape was never discovered ; yet there was only it was which finally goaded me from her. She one circumstance which could possibly have led to thought it her duty to remonstrate, though she had its detection-the change of dress, and the ab- not courage to decide. Whenever she considered straction of my most valuable jewels. Singularly me strong enough to listen to her persuasions, she enough, this solitary evidence was rendered of no began them anew ; and the topic chosen was ineffect. One of the household took advantage of variably that which she thought would be most the general confusion to abscond with as many effective-my child. Every day I was asked how valuables as he could collect. Among other things, I could bear to leave him ; every day I had to enhe took my jewel-case, which he must have found counter some new form of useless torture. At rather less amply stocked than he expected, and a last I was stung into sufficient resolution to go, considerable part of my wardrobe. He was pur- and I left her. Good, simple woman! How sued and apprehended, the box being found upon could I ever dare to despise a life of quiet duty ? his person ; but, of course, no one credited his as- I had meant to write more, but I cannot ; even severations that the deficiencies observable in it this seems more than enough. I wish only to were not caused by him. And when, some time account for my life, and for its end. The details afterwards, a bracelet (which, in my hurry, I had which follow our separation can have no interest sold without previously defacing) was discovered for you—perhaps even what I have written will at an obscure jeweller's in this only ap- be flung aside. If I have prevented your happipeared a fresh proof of the thief's falsehood. It ness, you see that I have been miserable myself ; had been offered for sale br a woman, commonly if you condemn me, I assure you my self-condemdressed, and apparently somewhat agitated, who nation is stronger and bitterer. Nay, I do not brought it to the shop an hour after day-break on even blame you for anything but the last deception. the morning after my supposed death. It was It was my own insane vanity which led me to natural enough that the thief should have feareil to mistake kindly interest for love. I had no right

33

CCLXXVIII.

LIVING AGE.

VOL. XXII.

me.

woman.

over.

to watch looks and interpret tones ; it was un-ings which had thus been laid bare before her, reasonable--it was unwomanly. Yet are not my and the acts in which they had resulted, were such loveless childhood and youth some excuse for me? | as she could scarcely contemplate without shrinkThe impulse had been dormant so long, that when ing. A vast and tender pity filled her whole it awoke and sprang up, I knew not how to guide soul. She thought of herself as a helpless and it; it bore me away, irresistibly, whither it timid child walking by night amid dangerous pitwould. Had I possessed a mother, a sister-nay, falls and deadly snares, but so encircled by gentle even one friend, this could never have befallen arms, and led by kind starlight, that it was impos

But I was so solitary, that it was no wonder sible to stumble or to miss the safe path. Madethat I clung to the first outstretched hand. If you line was only another child, equally frail and had left me, I should have recovered, and that feeble, and placed in equal danger, but to whom speedily ;-pride is strong enough to stifle an un- the guardianship and the guidance were wanting, returned affection, especially in a

I and who could not choose but fall. Ida's thought should never have remembered you without bit- was therefore instantly and chiefly how she could terness and shame ; and soon have learned to help her to rise again, and to heal the wounds wonder that I could ever have associated brighter from which in natural terror she averted her eyes. thoughts with you. But the wrong which you did Almost instantly, after the first yielding to grief me by returning, is ineffable—the cruelty of that she began to hope. Madeline had suffered terrifalse pity has been irreparable. It was, dishon- bly and long ; but now she would do right, and it orable, too—the basest of frauds ; knowingly and would surely please God to give her happiness. deliberately, you gave me a cold, disguised, tinsel Ida could not exactly see how this was to be ; but, compassion, in exchange for the purest gold of nevertheless, her hope was so strong and joyful love. Now I am a bankrupt indeed!

that it well nigh became a faith. It is so hap

py to be hopeful ; and, thank God! it is so natuIt seemed that the writer had here paused ab- ral! It is so natural to look into the black darkruptly in her melancholy narration, and never re-ness, and think of the golden fringe of dawn-to sumed it. Afterwards, and evidently at a later gaze upon the pale wasted face, and think of the period, she had written the following words :- first tints of returning health-to grieve for the

God forgive me for the wrath and bitterness of estranged friend, and dream of the joy of forgivethese pages!

I have never dared to read them ness—to seal up and stifle the unrequited affecOh! that I had strength to confess all to tion, yet all the while to fix the eyes upon an those who would guide me to do right! I have union in the future, deeper and more perfect, benow friends, I have now counsellors ; I am no

cause it has been so long in ripening! All these longer alone in the world. But for my bitter se- may be disappointments—cold, cruel, desolating; cret, I might believe that I was learning holiness yet the hope has nevertheless been real ; it is a

- I might hope some day to be happy. But if possession in and for itself; never let us give it my heart essays to rise only for a moment, that up! If it please God to cover the sky with thought straightway falls upon it and crushes it. clouds, let us not, therefore, extinguish our own I dare not speak it ; I dread to be told that I must poor lamps, but rather cherish and tend them the do that for which I have not strength, and which more carefully, because they are all we have. I will not do, cannot believe that I ought to do. Let us thank Him that he has so formed us that Perhaps before I die I may do it; and surely the we are buoyant and hopeful, even in the midst of struggle cannot last much longer.

sorrows, never bowing our heads, save when the

hurricane prostrates us for the moment, and eagerThen followed—too solemn for insertion here

ly raising them again as soon as the pressure is -a prayer for her unknown child, wrought out of the agony of the mother's self-reproach and sor- of every earthly hope, that the habit and the

past. And if it is to be only by the destruction And then these few words :

strength of a divine hope can be fully built up in It is possible that my child may be taught to

us, let us remember that gloom is as fatal to remember me—nay, even to commend my soul to the one as to the other ;-let us beware how we God's keeping, in his innocent prayers. May not mistake despondency for resignation, callousness such prayers avail when mine are powerless ?

for courage, scorn for patience ;- let us labor with This was the last entry. Ida's tears had flowed all our hearts to love and a fulfil that true, sweet fast while she read, and when she laid down duty—the duty of delight.” Who is there the book, she hid her fair face upon her hands, who cannot remember some sudden brightness on and gave them free course for a few minutes. She the horizon of life-some secret nest, stirred by was bewildered with sorro and wonder. The the unconscious foot, and sending forth in an inradiant veil of life had been pulled aside, and so stant its gush of heavenward song—some hour of stern a face looked at her from behind its folds unlooked for joy—some salvation from grief that that she drew back in terror. And well might seemed inevitable—some treasure of unknown af-she do so ; for in truth she now found herself, for fection which has been our own, though we the first time, face to face with evil. She had no dreamed not of it, and deserved it not to reproach thought of condemning Madeline, though the feel- him for the veriest beginning of misanthropy,

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