ner and the barmaid whispered to each "Gentlemen," said the professor stand- "Hear! hear!" roared the students, hammering their beer glasses against the table, "a speech, a speech!— silence for a speech! "The fact is, my friends," said the professor, beaming through his spectacles, "I hope very soon to be married." "Married!" cried a student, bolder than the others, "is madame dead, then?" "Madame who?" "Why, Madame von Baumgarten, of course. 66 'Ha, ha!" laughed the professor; "I can see, then, that you know all about my former difficulties. No, she is not dead, but I have reason to believe that she will not oppose my marriage." "That is very accommodating of her," remarked one of the company. "In fact," said the professor, "I hope that she will now be induced to aid me in getting a wife. She and I never took to each other very much; but now I hope all that may be ended, and when I marry she will come and stay with me." "What a happy family!" exclaimed some wag. "Yes, indeed, and I hope you will come to my wedding, all of you. I won't mention names, but here is to my little bride!" and the professor waved his glass in the air. "Here's to his little bride!" roared the roysterers with shouts of laughter. "Here's her health. Sie soll leben hoch!"— and so the fun waxed still more fast and furious, while each young fellow followed the professor's example, and drank a toast to the girl of his heart. Fresh surprises were in store for him, however. He was hurrying along when he was overtaken by two students. These youths, instead of raising their caps or showing any other sign of respect, gave a wild whoop of delight the instant that they saw him, and rushing at him, seized him by each arm and commenced dragging him along with them. "Gott in Himmel!" roared Von Hartmann. "What is the meaning of this unparalleled insult? Where are you taking me?" "To crack a bottle of wine with us," said the two students. "Come along! That is an invitation which you have never refused." I never heard of such insolence in my life," cried Von Hartmann. "Let go my arms! I shall certainly have you rusticated for this. Let me go, I say!" and he kicked furiously at his captors. way. While all this festivity had been going Now Madame von Baumgarten, who on at the Grüner Mann, a very different was looking out of the window and wonscene had been enacted elsewhere. Young|dering why her husband was late for dinFritz von Hartmann, with a solemn face ner, was considerably astonished to see and a reserved manner, had, after the experiment, consulted and adjusted some mathematical instruments; after which, with a few peremptory words to the jani the young student come stalking down the road. As already remarked, she had a great antipathy to him, and if ever he ventured into the house it was on sufferance, "You are ill, dear," the young lady cried. "Your mind is wandering. You have not even kissed me once.' and under the protection of the professor. Two students have dragged me along the Still more astonished was she therefore public road. My wife nearly faints when when she beheld him undo the wicket I ask her for dinner, and my daughter gate and stride up the garden path with flies at me and bugs me like a .grizzly the air of one who is master of the situa- bear." tion. She could hardly believe her eyes, and hastened to the door with all her maternal instincts up in arms. From the upper windows the fair Elise had also observed this daring move upon the part of her lover, and her heart beat quick with mingled pride and consternation. "Good-day, sir," Madame Baumgarten remarked to the intruder, as she stood in gloomy majesty in the open doorway. 66 "A very fine day indeed, Martha," returned the other. Now, don't stand there like a statue of Juno, but bustle about and get the dinner ready, for I am well-nigh starved.” "Martha! Dinner!" ejaculated the lady, falling back in astonishment. 66 Yes, dinner, Martha, dinner!" howled Von Hartmann, who was becoming irritable. "Is there anything wonderful in that request when a man has been out all day? I'll wait in the dining-room. Anything will do. Schinken, and sausage, and prunes- any little thing that happens to be about. There you are, standing staring again. Woman, will you or will you not stir your legs?" This last address, delivered with a perfect shriek of rage, had the effect of sending good Madame Baumgarten flying along the passage and through the kitchen, where she locked herself up in the scullery and went into violent hysterics. In the mean time Von Hartmann strode into the room and threw himself down upon the sofa in the worst of tempers. "Elise!" he shouted. "Confound the girl! Elise!" 66 No, and I don't intend to either," Von Hartmann said with decision. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Why don't you go and fetch my slippers, and help your mother to dish the dinner?" "And is it for this," Elise cried, burying her face in her handkerchief-"is it for this that I have loved you passionately for upwards of ten months? Is it for this that I have braved my mother's wrath? Oh, you have broken my heart, I am sure you have!" and she sobbed hysterically. "I can't stand much more of this," roared Von Hartmann furiously. "What the deuce does the girl mean! What did I do ten months ago which inspired you with such a particular affection for me? If you are really so very fond, you would do better to run away down and find the Schinken and some bread, instead of talking all this nonsense." "Oh, my darling!" cried the unhappy maiden, throwing herself into the arms of what she imagined to be her lover," you do but joke in order to frighten your little Elise." Now it chanced that at the moment of this unexpected embrace, Von Hartmann was still leaning back against the end of the sofa, which, like much German furniture, was in a somewhat rickety condition. It also chanced that beneath this end of the sofa there stood a tank full of water in which the physiologist was conducting certain experiments upon the ova of fish, Thus roughly summoned, the young and which he kept in his drawing-room in lady came timidly down-stairs and into the order to insure an equable temperature. presence of her lover. "Dearest!" she The additional weight of the maiden comcried, throwing her arms round him. "Ibined with the impetus with which she know this is all done for my sake. It is hurled herself upon him, caused the prea ruse in order to see me." carious piece of furniture to give way, and Von Hartmann's indignation at this the body of the unfortunate student was fresh attack upon him was so great that hurled backwards into the tank, in which he became speechless for a minute from his head and shoulders were firmly wedged rage, and could only glare and shake his while his lower extremities flapped helpfists, while he struggled in her embrace.lessly about in the air. This was the last When he at last regained his utterance, he indulged in such a bellow of passion that the young lady dropped back, petrified with fear, into an armchair. straw. Extricating himself with some difficulty from his unpleasant position, Von Hartmann gave an inarticulate yell of fury, and dashing out of the room, in spite of the entreaties of Elise, he seized his hat and rushed off into the town, all dripping and dishevelled, with the intention of seeking in some inn the food 3 and comfort which he could not find at home. As the spirit of Von Baumgarten encased in the body of Von Hartmann strode down the winding pathway which led down to the little town, brooding angrily over his many wrongs, he became aware that an elderly man was approaching him who appeared to be in an advanced state of intoxication. Von Hartmann waited by the side of the road and watched this individual, who came stumbling along, reeling from one side of the road to the other, and singing a student song in a very husky and drunken voice. At first his interest was merely excited by the fact of seeing a man of so venerable an appearance in such a disgraceful condition, but as he approached nearer, he became convinced that he knew the other well, though he could not recall when or where he had met him. This impression became so strong with him, that when the stranger came abreast of him he stepped in front of him and took a good look at his fea tures. 66 Well, sonny," said the drunken man, surveying Von Hartmann and swaying about in front of him, "where the Henker have I seen you before? I know you as well as I know myself. Who the deuce are you?" "I am Professor von Baumgarten," said the student. 66 May I ask who you are? I am strangely familiar with your fea tures." "You should never tell lies, young man," said the other. "You're certainly not the professor, for he is an ugly, snuffy old chap, and you are a big, broad-shouldered young fellow. As to myself, I am Fritz von Hartmann, at your service." "That you certainly are not," exclaimed the body of Von Hartmann. "You might very well be his father. But hullo, sir, are you aware that you are wearing my studs and my watch-chain?" 66 "Donnerwetter!" hiccoughed the other. If those are not the trousers for which my tailor is about to sue me, may I never taste beer again." grave and scholarly figure in which his mind was wont to dwell. In an instant his active brain ran over the series of events which had occurred, and sprang to the conclusion. He fairly reeled under the blow. "Himmel!" he cried, "I see it all. Our souls are in the wrong bodies. I am you and you are I. My theory is proved but at what an expense! Is the most scholarly mind in Europe to go about with this frivolous exterior? Oh, the labors of a lifetime are ruined!" and he smote his breast in his despair. "I say," remarked the real Von Hartmann from the body of the professor, "I quite see the force of your remarks, but don't go knocking my body about like that. You received it in excellent condition, but I perceive that you have wet it and bruised it, and spilled snuff over my ruffled shirt-front." "It matters little," the other said mood. ily. "Such as we are, so must we stay. My theory is triumphantly proved, but the cost is terrible." "If I thought so," said the spirit of the student, "it would be hard indeed. What could I do with these stiff old limbs, and how could I woo Elise and persuade her that I was not her father? No, tha .K Heaven, in spite of the beer which was upset me more than ever it could upset my real self, I can see a way out of it." "How?" gasped the professor. Why, by repeating the experiment. Liberate our souls once more, and the chances are that they will find their way back into their respective bodies." No drowning man could clutch more eagerly at a straw than did Von Baumgarten's spirit at this suggestion. In feverish haste he dragged his own frame to the side of the road and threw it into a mesmeric trance; he then extracted the crystal ball from the pocket, and managed to bring himself into the same condition. Some students and peasants who chanced to pass during the next hour were much astonished to see the worthy professor of physiology and his favorite student, both sitting upon a very muddy bank and both completely insensible. Before the hour was up quite a crowd had Now as Von Hartmann, overwhelmed by the many strange things which had occurred to him that day, passed his hand over his forehead and cast his eyes down-assembled, and they were discussing the wards, he chanced to catch the reflection of his own face in a pool which the rain had left upon the road. To his utter astonishment he perceived that his face was that of a youth, that his dress was that of a fashionable young student, and that in every way he was the antithesis of the VOL. LI, 2630 LIVING AGE. advisability of sending for an ambulance to convey the pair to hospital, when the learned savant opened his eyes and gazed vacantly around him. For an instant he seemed to forget how he had come there, but next moment he astonished his audience by waving his skinny arms above his head and crying out in a voice of rap. | which exceeded even the bounds to which ture, "Gott sei gedanket! I am myself the House had of late been accustomed. again. I feel I am!" nor was the amazement lessened when the student springing to his feet burst into the same cry, and the two performed a sort of pas de joie in the middle of the road. For some time after that people had some suspicion of the sanity of both the actors in this strange episode. When the professor published his experiences in the Medicalschrift, as he had promised, he was met by an intimation, even from his colleagues, that he would do well to have his mind cared for, and that another such publication would certainly consign him to a madhouse. The student also found by experience that it was wisest to be silent about the matter. Every remark was interrupted by cries of "No! no!" by ironical cheering, bursts of forced laughter, and once by groans. After struggling for some time with these difficulties, the premier paused and said, "It is hardly possible to do justice to the proper respect I owe to the House, and to preserve the proper and necessary continuity of remark in what I have to say, if conduct so extraordinary and so unparal leled " - here Sir Michael Hicks Beach interposed with a negative. 'Yes," said Mr. Gladstone, leaning across the table and personally addressing the right honorable baronet, “I must tell the member for Gloucestershire that it is unparalleled, and I am sorry that he should give it encouragement." When the worthy lecturer returned home that night he did not receive the It is a hazardous thing to dissent from cordial welcome which he might have the opinion expressed by so high an au looked for after his strange adventures. thority. Mr. Gladstone has been for fifty On the contrary, he was roundly upbraided years a principal figure in the House of by both his female relatives for smelling Commons, and a close observer of its of drink and tobacco, and also for being manners. Moreover, he is in this parabsent while a young scapegrace invaded ticular supported by general conviction. the house and insulted its occupants. It A score of times during the existence of was long before the domestic atmosphere the present Parliament the newspapers, of the lecturer's house resumed its normal mirroring public opinion, have solemnly quiet, and longer still before the genial face of Von Hartmann was seen beneath its roof. Perseverance, however, conquers every obstacle, and the student eventually succeeded in pacifying the enraged ladies and in establishing himself upon the old footing. He has now no longer any cause to fear the enmity of Madame, for he is Hauptmann von Hartmann of the emperor's own Uhlans, and his loving wife Elise has already presented him with two little Uhlans as a visible sign and token of her affection. A. CONAN DOYLE. From The Nineteenth Century. declared that matters in the House of Commons have now reached an unparal leled pitch of disorder, and that something must be done. This conviction took practical shape in the winter of 1882, when a special session was held in order to devise means for grappling with the growing disorder. A number of rules were then, after prolonged debate, agreed to and added to the statute-book. It was two years and a half later that Mr. Glad stone made the declaration above alluded to, lamenting the unparalleled condition of affairs which "struck a fatal blow at the liberties of debate and at the dignity of Parliament." Mr. Gladstone's remark was wrung from him by a particular outrage. The general indictment, involving the accusation that the House of Commons has degenerated On the 18th of May, on the occasion of and is degenerating, reaching its lowest one of Mr. Gladstone's latest appear development in the Parliament now nearances in the House of Commons in the ing its close, includes charges of obstruccapacity of first lord of the treasury, tion, disregard of the authority of the there happened a remarkable and lament- | chair, disorderly conduct on the part of able scene. The motion before the House was for a vote of three millions on account of the estimates. Lord Randolph Church. ill seized the opportunity to deliver a cursory speech on affairs in Afghanistan. Mr. Gladstone, rising to reply, was subjected to treatment by gentlemen opposite sections of the House, and personal altercations. I will deal with these in due order, and think I shall be able to show from the pages of Hansard that the belief is not well founded. With respect to the personal attacks to which Mr. Gladstone has during the present Parliament, and more particularly in the current session, been subjected, his memory is short if he is inclined to believe that this is a new thing peculiar to the present Parliament. In the closing session of the Parliament of 1868 these demonstrations were not unknown. The halo which surrounded Mr. Gladstone, flushed with the overwhelming majority that returned him in 1868 to do justice to Ireland, had, in the session of 1873 entirely disappeared. There were even on his own side indications of failing fealty. The Nonconform ists in particular, alienated by Mr. Forster's manipulation of the Education Bill, had begun to grow restive. Mr. Miall had openly talked of withdrawing his support, and had had flung across the gangway at him from the angry premier the supplication "in Heaven's name " to take his support elsewhere, if it were not to be purchased on other terms than he dictated. tions on the Eastern question, a wrangle of two hours' duration, of which he personally bore the brunt, preceded the opportunity for commencing his speech. A year later he was literally mobbed in the division lobby by a body of from forty to fifty English Conservative gentlemen, who, coming suddenly upon him issuing from the Opposition lobby, yelled and hooted as if he were a mad dog. These are personal experiences which seem, happily, to have faded from Mr. Gladstone's mind. Had they occurred to him, he certainly would not have felt justified in describing somewhat similar events in the current session as "unparalleled." What is quite true is that for a long period there has been no occasion when a leader of the House of Commons has been subjected to the treatment of which Mr. Gladstone pathetically complained. Mr. Disraeli was to the Liberal party an ob ject of detestation in degree at least equal to that in which the Conservatives hold Mr. Gladstone. But there is no instance on record through the duration of his leadership of the House of Mr. Disraeli's being treated otherwise than with respect. It is true that on one occasion Major O'Gorman, excited towards midnight by reflection upon the wrongs of Ireland, made a dead set upon him; but the incident only proves the rule. Major O'Gor man was a prime favorite with the House, which was inclined to regard his pranks with indulgence. But on this occasion he was held to have sinned beyond immediate forgiveness. Yet his offence was limited to interrupting the premier with ironical cheering, an embarrassment from which Mr. Gladstone is never free when he addresses the House upon any subject. Lord Palmerston, too, whilst leader of the House was regarded with something like reverence, and Earl Russell, though not personally so acceptable to members, never had occasion to complain of discourtesy. But it was in the new Parliament of 1874 that there was made apparent in organized form that discourteous personal treatment of which Mr. Gladstone complained on the 18th of May as "unparalleled." It was now the turn of the Conservatives to be jubilant. Mr. Gladstone | had been hurled from his high place and Mr. Disraeli reigned in his stead. In 1873 he had been invested with the authority of supreme official position. His name was still one to conjure with through out the constituencies, and no one could say that at the then pending general election he would not be reinstated even with added strength. But from 1874 to 1880 he was doubly discredited. He was not even leader of his own party, whom he embarrassed by his fitful coming and going, his intervals of retirement and his sudden flashing forth as the only possible leader. It was safe to assail him then (as Sir William Harcourt agreed), and the opportunity was unreservedly seized. His interposition in debate was the signal for outcries that would have disgraced a bear-garden. The new Parliament was But if we go back to Sir Robert Peel we only six weeks old when Mr. Smollet, shall find a singularly close parallel to the amid a hurricane of cheers from the Con- circumstances under which Mr. Gladstone servatives, made a deliberate attack upon has, during the present Parliament, enhim, accusing him of "organizing a disso deavored to discharge his duty as leader lution in secret and springing it upon the of the House. Certain members have House;" of having by "unworthy, im- fastened themselves upon him, and have proper, and unconstitutional methods tried succeeded in raising themselves into a to seize power;" finishing up a long ti- position of notoriety by their persistent rade with congratulating the House and attacks. Sir Robert Peel, after he had the country that "the stratagem had re-owned his conversion to the free-trade coiled on the head of the trickster." principles preached by Mr. Cobden, sufWhen on the 7th of May, 1877, Mr. Glad- fered in a manner curiously similar at that stone proposed to submit his five resolu- time. Mr. Disraeli combined in himself |