Wake, wake, wake! Ye Whigs from your drowsy bed ; And wake, wake, wake! Ere my hopes are all perished and fled." There were seven more verses, but as the parody was of purely local interest, they are not here quoted. THE SONG OF THE POST. WITH "Bluchers" cobbled and worn, A postman tramped on his twentieth round, On good St. Valentine's day. Rat-tat rat! tat! At every knocker almost, Each time, in a voice that was somewhat flat, Tramp tramp! tramp! When the sweep is up the flue; It's oh! to be a slave, Along with the barbarous Turk, Where Scudamore can verse outpour For Britons, besides his work! Trudge trudge! trudge! Till I'm trodden down at heel; Trudge! trudge! trudge! Till I'm faint for want of a meal. Bell, and knocker, and box, Box, and knocker, and bell; Till over the letters I all but nod, And drop them in a spell. Oh, girls with lovers fond! Oh, men who want to get wives! It's not a mere custom you're keeping up; If you must send Valentines, Don't post them by tens and twelves; Or, if you do, I would pray of you But why do I pray of you, Whose hearts so hard must be, Since your scented rhymes you'll not post betimes, In spite of Lord M-'s decree? In spite of Lord M―'s decree, In your tardy ways you keep; Oh, crime! that boots should be so dear, And Valentines so cheap! Tramp! tramp! tramp! Through street, and terrace, and square. Rap rap rap! Valentines everywhere! Maid, and master, and miss, Miss, and master, and maid; There are some for them all, as they come at the call Of the knocker, so long delayed. * There's none too poor or base A Valentine to send A halfpenny buys an ugly one That will serve to spite a friend. "It really seems the ambition of each fashionable woman to render her dress more like a skin than that of her neighbour, besides exhibiting as large a portion of the real flesh as can be done without the apology for raiment absolutely dropping off!"-The World, January 31, 1877. WITH arms a-wearied of fanning herself, A wallflower sat on a stiff-backed chair, Turn, twirl, and turn, With hop, with glide, and prance; And still, as she sleepily gazed on that throng, She muttered the "Song of the Dance." Dance, dance, dance, Till I hear the milkman's cry; Dance, dance, dance, Till the sun is seen on high. It's O to be a nigger, Nor mind to clothless feel, If civilised folk will try how little Dance, dance, dance, Till the heat is horrid to bear; Dance, dance, dance, Till I long for a cushioned chair. Waltz, gallop, and waltz; A lancer, a stray quadrille, Till the whirl and the music make me doze, And dreaming I watch them still. O men with wives and sisters, Have ye no eyes to see That the scanty dress of the ballet-girl By your kin ne'er worn should be? Twirl, turn, and twirl; Morality, where art thou? The dance and the dress of the stage--and worse Are those of the ball-room now! But why do I talk of morality For Purity only takes Her sip of the cup that Fashion fills; And we know that cup is made of gold, And that gold will cover a thousand ills. Dance, dance, dance; They never tired appear: And all in hopes that a wished-for vow, The work of the midnight air ; And the paint will trace on many a face, Dance, dance, dance; How sweetly they keep time, As they dance, dance, dance, In a measure quite sublime! They waltz, waltz, waltz, Keep time to the glorious band; But, ah! there is many a blushing look, Thus wearied out with fanning herself, This wallflower sat on a stiff-backed chair, While all were swinging with turn and twirl, She muttered this song to herself, and said, Since true is my Song of the Dance ?" CECIL MAXWELL LYTE London Society, November, 1877. THE SONG OF THE SOLDIER'S SHIRT. (In 1879 it was announced that the wages of the women working at the Army Clothing Department, Pimlico, had been reduced from 20 to 25 per cent.) WITH fingers weary and worn, With eyelids heavy and red, A woman sat 'neath a Government roof, As she stitch'd, stitch'd, stitch'd, 'Twas plain she was most expert ; And she sang to herself in a voice low-pitch'd, Work! work! work! There's no rest in youth or age! And alas! I have now to work For a cruelly lessen'd wage! I sit at my task all day, And never my duty shirk, But slop-shop prices would better pay Work! work! work! My labour never flags, And yet with my pittance I scarce can buy A crust of bread-and rags. I work for the greatest Power, Yet my pay's so small that I cannot call Write write! write! Though my head is ready to split; Write! write ! write! Though I fall asleep as I sit. Write! write ! write! When the summer sun is high! Write write! write! When the stars light up the sky. Write write! write! For my pen must never tire; First I've a railway smash to do, And then the report of a fire. I must put in a word of praise for those And, if time enough, I must give a puff, Write! write! write! I'd need be a writing machine; But it's write! write! write! Though my inkstand is nearly dry, Like a government office, I must contract With MORRELL for a fresh supply. Now I must haste to the gallows tree, To see them strangle a sinner; And write a report the saints may read, As they take their breakfast or dinner. Then concoct a puff for some wonderful pill, Or marvellous sarsaparilla ; And hurry away to hear PUNSHON preach, Or SPURGEON on the gorilla. (Three verses omitted.) With a weary, swimming brain, With a throbbing, aching head, Sat a newspaper hack in his garret lone, Write write! write! |