sook him. In a provincial theatre, he always seated himself as near as possible to the front of the centre box. Conversing about the character of Falstaff, as delineated by Shakespeare, he remarked, "That amongst actors it was frequently misunderstood: he was a courtier of the age he lived in; a man of vivacity, humour, and wit; a great reprobate, but no buffoon."

VALUE OF NOTHING.

Porson was no less distinguished for his wit and humour, during his residence in Cambridge, than for his profound learning; and he would frequently divert himself by sending quizzical morceaux, in the shape of notes, to his companions. He one day sent his gyp with a note to a certain Cantab, who is now a D. D. and Master of his College, requesting him to find the value of nothing? Next day he met his friend walking, and, stopping him, he desired to know, "Whether he had succeeded?" His friend answered-" Yes!" "And what may it be?" asked Porson : "sixpence !" replied the Cantab, "which I gave the man for bringing the note."

SERMON.

Dr. Dodd's sermon, which was preached to some Cambridge scholars extempore, from a hollow tree :

(Copied from an old Tract.)

The following sermon was made and preached extempore by one Parson Dodd, who lived within three or

four miles of Cambridge, and who having for nigh half a year, every Sunday, preached on the same subject which was drunkenness, which gave some of the Cambridge scholars occasion to be displeased with him, who thought he reflected upon them, they resolved to be even with the doctor when an opportunity should offer. Accordingly, chance one day led the doctor in their way: a company of scholars being walking, they saw the doctor some way off, coming towards them, and, all stopping at a gate that hung to a hollow tree, the doctor presently came up, and they spoke very friendly to him. "Your servant, Mr. Dodd." "Your servant, gentlemen." "Sir, we have one question to ask you." "What is that, gentlemen?" "Why, we hear you have preached a long time against the sin of drunkenness." "I have, gentlemen." "Then, doctor, we have one request you must and shall satisfy us in." "What is that, gentlemen ?" "Why, that you preach us a sermon from a text that we shall choose for you." "Appoint your time and place, gentlemen, and I will do it." "The time is present, and the place is here, and that hollow tree shall be your pulpit." "That's a compulsion, gentlemen; a man ought to have time to consider what he is to preach." They insisted on a compliance, or they would use him ill; not minding any expostulations from the doctor, they accordingly forced him into the hollow tree. The word they gave him for his text was malt! from which he preached the following short, but eloquent sermon.

THE SERMON.

My brethren, let me crave your reverend attention: I am a little man, come at a short warning, to preach you

a short sermon, to a thin congregation, in an unworthy pulpit. Brethren, my text is malt: now I cannot divide it into sentences, because there are none; nor into words, it being but one; nor into syllables, it being but one also; therefore, I must, and necessity will oblige or rather force me to divide it into letters, which I find in my text to be four, M, A, L, T. M, my beloved, is moral, A allegorical, L literal, and T theological. Moral, my brethren, is well set forth to show and teach you drunkards good manners; wherefore, M my masters, A all of you, L listen, T to my text.

A, the allegorical, is when one thing is spoken of and another meant; the thing spoken of is malt, the thing meant is the oil of malt, or rather the spirit or strength of the malt, properly called strong beer; which you, gentlemen, make M your meat, A your apparel, L your liberty, and T your treasure. Now the literal is according to the letter, M much, A ale, L little, T thirst. Now the theological is according to the effects that it worketh, which I find in my text to be of two kinds: first, in this; secondly, in the world to come. Now the effects that I find it worketh in this world, are, in some M murder, in others A adultery, in all L looseness of life, and in many T treason. Now, the effects that I find it worketh in the world to come, are M misery, A anguish, L lamentation, and T torment. Now, my first use shall be a use of exhortation: M my masters, A all of you, L leave off, T tippling; or else M my masters, A all of you, L look for, T torment. Now, so much shall suffice for this explication; next only, by way of caution, take this for an inviolable truth, that a drunkard is the annoyance of modesty; the disturber of civility; a spoiler of wealth; the destroyer of reason; the brewer's agent; the ale

house's benefactor; the beggar's companion; the consta ble's perplexity; his wife's woe; his children's sorrow; his neighbour's scoff; his own shame; and a wilful madman: by which he becomes a true and lively representation of a walking swill-tub, or a tavern Bacchus, in a monster of a man, by the picture of a beast. So, now, gentlemen, to conclude, I shall leave you, under the protection of the Almighty, to follow your own directions.

A fellow of King's College, Cambridge, seated near an open window telling some bank-notes, was disconcerted by a breeze of wind suddenly blowing them out. He ran into the court in order to recover them, and, when below, looking up as they floated in the air, he espied the Provost looking down from an opposite window, upon which the disconsolate owner of the notes, in his anxiety, holding up his hands in a supplicating posture, exclaimed, They are mine! They are mine!”

F

" IBI SUNT CUNICULI."

Some students, on a time, went out shooting rabbits, and it so happened that they had one amongst their party who was unaccustomed to the sport. They gave him strict charge that he should not speak if he saw any game. After some time had elapsed, he espied some rabbits, and immediately bawled to his companions, "Ibi sunt cuniculi!" at which the game fled. Being reproved for disobeying orders, he answered, "Who the devil would have thought that rabbits understood Latin ?”

turn.

REFORMATION.

Judge Burnet, son of the famous Bishop of Salisbury, when young, is said to have been of a wild and dissipated Being one day found by the bishop in a very serious humour, "What is the matter with you, Tom?" said he, "what are you ruminating on?" "A greater work than your lordship's History of the Reformation," answered the son. “ "Ay! what is that?" said the bishop?" "The reformation of myself, my lord," answered the son.

AN EXPEDIENT.

A Cantab, who had run up a reckoning at a house of entertainment some distance from Cambridge, having no money withal to discharge it, hit upon the following expedient. The host being present, he began to condemn