the nobleffe includes the gentry, just as much as the dukes and peers; and a little lordling of a village, with 10l. fterling a year, or even without a fhilling, may be called noble, as much as my lord duke, if his family had been diftinguished from the common clafs of fubjects by letters patent, or by bearing fome commiffion which time immemorially conferred noblefe on the poffeffor; and, by ennobling his blood, upon his defcendents. You may therefore conceive that this poor genealogift has not a moment to fpare. Proofs of nobleffe must be given by thofe who want to get admiffion into the ecole militaire, who make intereft for commiffions in the army, who intrigue for a blue ribbon, or for the honour of fitting in the king's carriages: judge, then, of the multiplicity of bufinefs through which he mut wade; and, from the infipidity of it, guefs how irksome fuch an employment must be to a man of fenfe; and blefs God that you live in a country where you may be an officer, a lord of the bed-chamber, a peer of parliament, and the king's companion in a state-coach, without being under the neceffity of reforting to the merits of ancestors, or proving that you ever knew the Chriftian name of your grandfather.

A TRAVELLER.

The LIFE and LAMENTATIONS of TITLE-PAGE VAMP, a POOR STARVED AUTHOR.

IN

[Continued from page 468.]

N the fecond year I made fome acquaintance with the ftu dents of my own ftanding, and was fometimes perfuaded to give up to them a few hours, which would otherwife have been spent in ftudy. At thefe meetings I was always rallied for my induftry, and foon found that there was a middle compound character between the man of pleasure and the pedant, which all confpired to admire, and all ftrove to imitate. My vanity was hurt when I difcovered that neither depth of learning, nor acutenefs of remark, would enable me to gain the attention or command the respect of my hearers-that he who fhould relate with pleafantry the adventures of an evening, or defcribe the drolleries, the inconfiftencies, and failings of his acquaintance, would be heard with greater admiration than he who fhould dive into the fecret caufes of events, by which empires have been elated or depreffed, point out new fubjects for speculation, or unfold the myfteries of ages, hid in darkness and obfcurity. To pleafe, other qualities were neceffary; of which, 'till then,

I had no knowledge, and which could only be learned by long inurement in the world, and long acquaintance with its manners I wanted the eafy air of carelefs affurance-the habitual fmile of joyous gaiety-freedom of addrefs and apparent negligence. Thefe were to be obtained in the school of the world; and though I faw the greater part, in aiming at the middle character, were folely the men of pleasure, I did not doubt of becoming at once the man of pleasure and the man of the world. From labour to pleasure the gradation was easy; and between rational pleasure and wanton diffipation the boundary is fo nice, that it is either not foon perceived, or eafily furmounted. When the paffions are interested, reafon is foon overcome; and in the heat of the purfuit, who can stop to examine whither the next ftep may lead him, or to mark the spot where the philofopher relinquishes his pleasure, and the voluptuary affumes his deftruction -I once, I fuppofe, deserved the character I wished to arrive at ; but even that with was foon loft in a torrent of pleafure without refinement, and indulgence without reflection. I cannot look back, without horror, to a time when the paffions had fo dangerous an influence. Every night brought the fame return of periodical gratification, and every morning was spent in repairing the damage the evening had produced, and preparing for a new debauch. Books of learning and science I utterly forfook, and through the whole day was feldom alone for ten minutes. When confcience at any time intervened, I satisfied myself with reflecting that I had learning enough for all the purposes of life; and that, in proportion as my knowledge of books failed me, my acquaintance with men and manners encreased. If a tutor reproached me for my negligence, I confidered it as the meaneft effufion of laborious pedantry, and feli citated myself upon my own efcape from dullness and barbarity.

During the intervals of debauchery, I read a novel-a review-or a play; wrote fonnets to miftreffes who could not read them-made pafquinades upon the heads of colleges, or added a few lines to a tragedy which I had been long engaged in finishing for the ftage. For fome jeu d'efprits of this fort L had the misfortune to obtain a confiderable fhare of reputation; my fame fpread like wild-fire, and I had the fatisfaction to hear thofe verfes which I had compofed in the morning, perhaps under the hands of a hair-dreffer, read in the evening in coffeehoufes, and repeated with applaufe in the ftreets. Thus did the fpontaneous effufion of a lucky hour gain for me what years of ftudy and labour had failed to produce; in the hope of which, days had been spent in labour, and nights in reflection. Seduced

to

to fuch flattering experience, I was foon convinced that to fuccefs nothing was now neceffary but cafe and negligence; that to ftudy, was to add to a heap, already too large, what was rather a burthen than a benefit. To a fyftem fo pleafing and plaufible, few would have refused their affent-a fyftem which levels industry with idleness, and distributes to carelessness and inattention all that can be expected from the most laborious researches. In the very firit dawning of my fame, before I had fuffered the mortification of feeing it decline, I was recalled to London by the death of my father, who died fuddenly at a tavern in the city.

My father had always lived nearly to the extent of his income, and my frequent drafts upon him for money, which he had never refused, had fo drained his purfe, that, when I had taken poffeffion, and from what remained had discharged all his debts and my own, I found the little ftock reduced to eighty pounds in money, and fome household furniture. From the wantonnefs of uncontrouled enjoyment, my thoughts were now turned to folicitude for my own immediate fupport. My whole plan of life was now to be changed, and an employment fought out, which, without the ufual delay of introduction, fhould at once produce profit to its poffeffor. For trade, befides my own objections, I was wholly unqualified: I was too young for orders, and too poor for the army: there was fcarcely any profeffion for which I was not unfit, either by my poverty, or my want of fkill. My hopes at last were reduced to the exertions which might be expected from the friends I had left at the univerfity; many of them were the younger brothers of powerful families, and had frequently promised, in the heat of juvenile friendship, to ferve me by every means in their power. To thefe, therefore, I immediately applied by letters, in which I informed them of the alteration in my circumstances, and en. treated their affiftance.

To two-and-twenty letters which I dispatched, I received in the course of fix weeks only five anfwers. Of thefe, one was filled with the warmest profeffions of friendship, but concluded with inability to ferve me; another promised affistance at a more convenient opportunity: one was written by a gentleman who had difobliged his father, another by one whofe father had disobliged the minifter, and a fifth came from a right honourable gentle man, who pofitively denied that he had ever had the honour of knowing me.

My next application was made through the channel of a newfpaper, in which I offered myself as a private tutor to the children of a nobleman or gentleman: this was anfwered by one

gentleman

gentleman in Cumberland, who offered to take me into the houfe at reasonable wages, if, when his fon's exercifes were over, I would occafionally work a little in the garden, and watch the labourers employed in his grounds.

At nineteen boarding-fchools, where I applied for the place of an ufher, I was rejected, because I did not understand French enough to engage to teach it: at five I was required to teach writing and accounts; three wanted a young man, who, after fchool hours, might be employed in the house; and at others, where the duties were lefs comprehenfive, my youth was an infuperable objection. After having three times offered my little all for an inferior place in one of the public offices, I was at last cheated out of fifty guineas, which I had advanced before-haud to a man whose interest was great, and neceffities preffing. After this laft ftroke, I was finking torpidly under the load of my misfortunes, when the remembrance of my tragedy revived me to new attempts: in a month it was completely finished, and after having in vain folicited a recommendation to the manager, I was refolved to prefent it myfelf. Nine applications, and a fee to the porter, at last gained me the liberty of an audience. I was received by the manager with all the dignity of office; informed that tragedies were not the tafte of the age; that the fage was glutted with them, and that nothing but uncommon excellence could attract attention: he promifed, however, to look over it-afked if it contained a proceffion-an epithalamium or a masquerade; laid it upon his table, and defired me to call again in a fortnight. A month was spent before I could receive any intelligence, or gain an audience; and my tragedy was then delivered to me by the porter, with the feal unbroken, who told me that his mafter had not read it; but that fince I was fo importunate, he begged to be excufed that honour.-I was now reduced almoft to immediate want, and was obliged to have recourfe to the bookfellers for employment: even this I fourd it difficult to obtain, and I had changed my laft guinea before I had the good luck to be engaged in a translation; for which, after the moft laborious exertions, I received nearly three fhillings per day. My firft performance pleafed my employer fo well, that I have ever fince been retained in his fervice with a very fmall encreafe of profit. Upon reviewing a cata-. logue of my productions for the last five years, I find I have written feventy-two pamphlets against the last ministry in general; thirty letters accufatory to lord North, five in his defence; fixteen panegyrics upon different members of the ministry and oppofition; feven addreffes to the people from members of parliament, and ten effays upon the liberty of the fubject. In mifcellanies,

miscellanies, I can claim the honour of three collections of poems upon various occafions, nine volumes of fermons, three letters from wanton women of quality, five pamphlets, fhewing by various means the characters of the nobility, and fome books of claffical information, for the use of fchools: Cam multiş aliis quæ nunc enarrare longum eft Every accident that can occur either in church or flate, becomes at times the object of my attention. If a battle is fought either at Vauxhall or the WeftIndies-if a prime minifter lofes his place, or a courtezan her keeper-if a player rifes into credit, or a statesman finks into infamy-if corn is dear, or wool cheap-let what will happen, little Index has fomething to publifh, and I have fomething to write upon the occafion. For thefe fervices I had fo endeared myfelf to Index, that 'till very lately I have almoft conftantly had the honour of dining with him on a Sunday; but upon my paying fome extraordinary civilities to his daughter, the deg took the alarm, and has never fince invited me even into his parlour.

Upon this employment I have been gradually ftarving for thefe five years. I now begin to fufpect that I have been paid lefs liberally than I deferve, and therefore propofe, through your Weekly Entertainer, to offer my fervices to the public. All political or miscellaneous bufinefs I am ready to execute on the fhortest notice, and upon reasonable terms. I can furnith a commentary upon any speech, spoken in either house, or obfervations upon a fecretary's letter, in five hours after they are public members of parliament may have fpeeches made with the greatest dispatch, upon any occafion country affociations may be fupplied with advertisements and petitions of any length: remonttrances and congratulations properly corrected and flopped: medical gentlemen, who with to make themfelves popular, may be supplied with advertisements of the fublimeft and moft barmonious contexture; and generals and admirals furnished with odes to themselves,

By their humble fervant,

TITLE-PAGE VAMP. Direct to me at No. 2, Watfon's-court, Petticoat-lane, Grubftreet.

++ A back door in the paffage for private customers.

N. B. A large quantity of original effays, upon every fubject, always kept for the convenience of booktellers and gentlemen engaged in periodical publications. Allowances to thofe who buy to fell again. Gentlemen may have fonnets and acroftics for the ladies, at any price. I can also be ferviceable to the