and another two inches long. The wit was now called upon for his. "No, gentlemen,” says he, “ its unnecessary to trouble the waiter to write mine, fince you all know, I believe, pretty well, that my name is a foot long.”


A DROLL MIST A KĘ. A N English Jack-tar telling his shipmate the other day that O there was a likelihood of war breaking out again on account of the definitive treaty not coming, " The definitive treaty! (exclaimed the other) and who the devil is he?" • Why (said the former) 'tis the Spanish ambaffador, as I am told, and I hope the son of a whore will stay where he is.”,


T HIS summer a pair of jack-daws attempted to build their

1 neft upon the weathercock of the Exchange at Newcastle upon Tyne ; but by every change of wind their fabric was deItroyed. The birds persevering in their attempts, carried clay up to the weathercock till the same was prevented from turning; they then finilhed their neit, in which two young jackdaws have been hatched, and one of them is now in the poffeffion of a magiftrate of that corporation,


THE doctor having an apprentice, whom he employed in

1 domestic and even culinary concerns instead of dispensing physic, the boy remonstrated with the master, and bluntly in listed on being instructed in the Jecrets of the profession. The doctor complied, and told him he should go with him that afcere noon to a patient in a very dangerous situation, where he might have an opportunity to see his grand method of discovering the diagnostic of a disease. The doctor with the apprentice entered into the room of a patient almoft exhausted. After feeling the pulse, &c. he flew into a great rage, and accused the nurse with having giving the sick man eggs, which he pronounced fatal to his disorder, and hurried away to send, as he said, a specific antidote. The apprentice took this opportunity to interrogate the Vol. II. 36,

2 G




R. WATSON, biskop of Llandaff, values the ecclefiaftical U preferments, or land in mortmain, of the kingdom, as under:

: : ;' to : Landed estate of the university of Cambridge 60,000 Ditto, Oxford, .

120,000 Bishoprické,

120 000 Deaneries and chapters,

90,000 Livings,


1,490,000 The valuation of this, by Dr. Warner, is, 1,680,000 Ditto, by Dr. Burn,

1,500,000 Ditto, by Mr. Young,


The number of parochial clergy in the kingdom may be set down at about 10,000 or 10,500and of them a moiety have not, and by the operation of queen Anne's bounty, cannot have, in the lapse of a century to come, rool, a year. In the distribution of ecclefiaftical emoluments what can be more criminally unequal than the allotments, as they now stand exhibited above ?-100,oool. a year consumed by two dozen bishops, and but 110,000l. a year among the whole body of parochial clergy.

HINT relative to BLEACHING of YARN.

THE horse-chesnut is employed for the purpose of bleaching

1 yarn in France and Switzerland ; and it is recommended in the Memoirs of the Society of Berne, as capable of extensive ule, in whitening not only fax and hemp, but also filk and wool. It contains an astringent, faponaceous juice, which is obtained by peeling the nuts, and grinding or rafping them. They are then mixed with hot rain or running water, in the proportion of twenty nuts to ten or twelve quarts of water. Wove caps and Atockings were milled in this water, and took the dye exceedingly well; and fuccessful trials were made of it in fulling stuffs and cloths. Linen in this water takes a pleafing light fky-blue coloor; and the filaments of hemp steeped in it for a few days, were easily separated. Made into cakes or balls, it will answer the purposes of soap in washing and fulling. The sediment, 2 G 2



after infusion, loses its bitter taste, and becomes good food for poultry, when mixed with bran.

ASIATIC CITIES enigmatically expressed, by S. M. O. of

. : Sbaftesbury. :: 1. A GREAT curiosity in Derbyshire, expunging a letter, and

A half of a measure. 2. The two first letters of a precious metal, and two ofths of an intrigue.

3. Two fixths of one of the furies, a consonant, and two eighths of one of the muses.

4. A liquor, a consonant, and the river the son of Apollo was struck into by a thunderbolt.

5. The initial of an apoftle, a word synonimous with fafe reversed, and to cripple transposed.

6. A vowel, a famous village for baths in Germany, and three fourths of a part of the body.

7. Half of to challenge, a consonant, and half of what death deprives us of...

8. A serpentine letter, half of a fragrant tree, and two ks. venths of the nymphs of fountains.

An ENIGMA, by S. M. o. of Shaftesbury.
TO Goadby's bards I'll dedicate my verse,

1 And my own acts and wond'rous deeds rehearse ;
But say, ye gents, perhaps you will not credit
What I now say of my superior merit,
And all the mighty actions I can boast,
Excelling much proud Alexander's hoft;
I'm too much interested, you may say,
And deeds that are erroneous may display:
But this objection I can soon surmount,
And boldly venture, and my deeds recount;
After you've read them then you may reveal
If they fictitious are, or true and real,

How oft did I when troops surrounded Troy,
March out with Hector, and his foes annoyiš
His ev'ry danger did I gladly share,
And copied all his actions to a hair.

'Tis true that Hercules great deeds atchiev'd, Dangers despis’d, and mighty ills reliev'd ; But him, I'm sure, you quickly will agree, Was often equall’d; nay, out-done by me. When Jason went to fetch the golden fleece, Attended by the valiant youths of Greece, Amongst them went your humble servant too; For what could they without my presence do? But these are trifles to what more I've done ; 17 No threat’ning dangers do I wish to Thun. I Samson's weary footsteps did pursue, When he great numbers of Philistines flew. Some penetrating swain, or cunning lass, May think me now the jaw-bone of an ass : But I am not thou art an ancient then”- that's true; But then your servant is a modern too ; For like Swift's Struldbruggs I do live forever, And some behold me with ecstatic pleasure. . With belles and beaux I claim a fav’rite place, ... And in their friendship have fuperior grace, In every court, in every rural scene, I always was, and ftill am to be seen. I swiftly climb o'er craggy steeps and rocks, And oft turn shepherd, and attend the flocks. On raging season terra firma land, Your vasfal I am still at your command. " Thou art amphibious then”-perhaps you're right “ And art thou also an hermaphrodite ?" Why I shan't tell ye- find it out yourself; I secrets keep as misers do their pelf. “ Amazing fellow !” do you now exclaim; " Why sure insanity disturbs thy brain !" ; But don't be passionate, for 'tis all true; si Find out my name, and then you'll think fo too..

, '1* The Editors have no objection to Mr. Quant's Moral Tale, but wish to receive the whole before they infert any Part of it.


« ElőzőTovább »