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The following account of the late eccentric | pleasure in observing how much of the year he has nobleman who bore this title, was published in a each day passed, by observing the state of his Paris paper in October, 1826.—No one has higher boots. Lord Egerton is a man of few acquaintance, claims to a distinguished place in the history of ec- and very few of bis countrymen have got as far as centricity than M. Egerton, who has for several years his dining-hall. Ilis table, however, is constantly borne the name of Lord Bridgewater. Those who set out with a dozen covers, and served by a suitahave once seen this meagre personage drag himself ble attendance. Who then are his privileged along, supported by two huge lacqueys, with his guests? No less than a dozen of favorite dogs, sugar-loaf hat slouched down over his eyes, cannot who daily partake of milord's dinner, seated very fail to recognize him. An immense fortune enables gravely in chairs, each with a napkin round his him to gratify the most extravagant caprices that neck. These honorable quadrupeds, as if grateful ever passed through the head of a rich Englishman. for such delicate attentions, comport themselves If he be lent a book, he carries his politeness so far during the time of the repast with a decency and as to send it back, or rather have it conducted decorum which would do more than honor to a parhome in a carriage. He gives orders that two of ty of gentlemen; but if, by chance, one of them his most stately steeds be barnessed to one of his should, without due consideration, obey the natural chariots, and the volume, reclining at ease in mi- instinct of his appetite, and transgress any one of lord's seat arrives, attended by four footmen in the rules of good manners, his punishment is at costly livery, at the door of its astonished owner. hand. You, perhaps, gentle reader, suppose that His carriage is frequently to be seen filled with his corporeal punishment is meant; but no—you are dogs. He bestows great care on the feet of these mistaken; 'tis in his self-love that the offender is dogs, and orders them boots, for which he pays as punished. The day following the day of his offence, dearly as for his own. Lord Bridgewater's costume the dog dines, and even dines well; but not at miis an excellent one for the bootmaker; for besides lord's table, and as becomes a dog to dine; banished the four feet of his dogs, the supply of his own two to the antechamber, and dressed in livery, he eats feet must give constant employment to several in sorrow the bread of shame, and picks the bone operatives. He puts on a new pair of boots every of mortification, while his place at table remains day, carefully preserving those he has once worn, vacant till bis repentance has merited a generous and ranging them in order; he commands that pardon. none shall touch them, but himself takes great
THE BLESSINGS OF LIFE.
Tooth and nail strove to worry him out of his life,
But, mark me, he ne'er thought of taking his wife! But heaven, at length, Job's forbearance rewards:
And in time double wealth, double honor arrives; Heaven doubles his children, slaves, houses, and herds,
But we don't hear a word of a couple of wives !
A WIIET BEFORE DINNER.
like the dinner, dish'd.
MANNERS MAKES THE MAN.
Know ye the wight one frequent meets,
Soliciting a job?
And nick-named “Dusty Bob ?”
'Twas thus intent on dejeuner,
In search of fitting food :
and buxom dame, Behind a counter stood.
You hold in small account, no doubt,
Yet low as his estate,
The ashes of the grate.
Still, these are matters all apart
And thus the chance befell,
And, as with horny fist he smoothed his hair,
A poll with matted carrots thatched,
But to my tale: at break of day, Up rose the hero of my lay,
With hope his spirits buoy'd; And ever as he fill'd his cart, Le felt a space beneath his heart
Establishing a void.
Loud and more loud the murmurs rise,
At first breathe gently; but
And agitates the gut.
Now, let me ask, had Chesterfield been
placed, What time his chyle with exercise was
braced, To make his meal from off a living mess, D'ye think my Lord had kept his politesse ? Or acted, as did Bob, the man of dirt, Who, on the instant that he did insert His thumb and finger in that roll so stale, Pull’d out the squeaking vermin by the tail ; And seeing that the bak'ress looked aghast Upon the means she gave to break his fastBlandly observed, “There's some mistake in
this, I didn't ax you for a sandwich, Miss!”
Though Bob knew nought of Æolus, He learnt, from this internal fuss,
'Twas time for breakfast now: Or, as he said, “ for bit and sup, His innerds was a kicking up
Sich a unkimmon row.'
BONAPARTE AT MISS FROUNCE'S SCHOOL.
BY GILBERT A. A'BECKETT.
The mind of infancy is said to resemble wax, and down his arms, I had surrendered the customary certainly, from its excessive softness, there is rea- spoon, fork, and six towels into the hands of my son in the simile. The impressions made upon schoolmistress. I have no doubt the warlike children by public events are very curious, and character of the times in which she lived had imwarrant us in looking back upon boyhood as one pressed itself on her nature, for she was greatly of the very greenest spots of our existence. In addicted to the system of flogging, which is one of the following chapter will be found a few JUVENILE the necessary features of a military era. Often has REMINISCENCES OF THE WAR with FRANCE AND Bo- the word been given to “march up" into the bed
room of the lady who presided over the school, During the very stirring events that were taking and frequently have I obeyed the summons, when place on the Continent of Europe in the early part the birch, or a busk from the stays of my instrucof the present century, my father, who was a re- tress, has expiated some piece of juvenile delinspectable attorney, thought it prudent to place me quency. In vain were the words “ I will be good,” at a preparatory school near Kensington. While reiterated amid screams and tears; for, until the Pitt was boldly contending against the revolution- avenging rod or the vindicatory whalebone—as ary mania of France, I was engaged in a laborious the case might be—had done its office, it was hopecontest with the difficulties of Lindley Murray. It less to try to stay the hand of Miss Frounce, who was almost on the very day of Badajoz being taken, took in young gentlemen from three to eight-and, that I succeeded in mastering the last chapter of ten to one, took in their parents also. the Mother's Catechism; and the same post that But while I am dwelling on the memory of the brought news of Wellington having forced the en- i proceedings in the Hammersmith Road, I am foremy's lines, and secured his colors, gave intelli- getting the stirring events that were taking place on gence of my having carried off the silver pen in the Continent. Bonaparte had just escaped from triumph, as a prize for writing against my school- Elba, and Miss Frounce, like an admirable politifellows.
cian, took advantage of this important event to While Napoleon Bonaparte was taking lessons in overawe the “ young gentlemen from three to the art of war, I was struggling in an establish- eight” wlo were under her guidance. On all occament for “young gentlemen from three to eight," sions, Bonaparte was held up as the great bugbear, against being drenched from the Pierian spring, and there was not a boy in the school who was whose water is laid on to the youthful mind at the not firmly convinced that Miss Frounce had Naporate of about thirty guineas per annum. When leon under her thumb—that, in fact, if any of “the the illustrious Wellington forced the enemy to lay young gentlemen” should prove refractory, Miss
Frounce had it in her pow. er to send for Bony with as much facility as she could order the sweeps or the dustman. If a boy, when spelling, knocked an i out of the word annihilate, he was threatened with being handed over to the tender mercies of Bonaparte ; and every one of the pupils of Miss Frounce felt assured that, if Napoleon invaded England, he would knock at the door of the “estab. lishment for young gentleman from three to eight" the very morning after his arrival.
Whatever might have been his feeling of hostility towards the Prince of Wales, or the members of the cabinet, my firm conviction was, that Master Snodgrass, who had been turned back in grammar, had much more to apprehend from Napoleon than the Regent and the ministers. Sometimes have I contemplated the possibility of hiding in case of the dreaded visit ; but then it has flashed upon my juvenile mind that Bonaparte was not to be balied, and that he would inevitably look under all the beds in the house, rather than be foiled in the vengeance which the “young gentlemen from three to eight” were convinced inspired him.
Such impressions as those I have related are strange and absurd; but there are many now liv
ing who, if they happened, during the time of the Never shall I forget the panic that seized on Bonaparte panic, to be inmates of a preparatory "all the boys” when the fact was announced that school for “young gentlemen from three to eight, a leg of mutton had been stolen from the larder. will recognize the fidelity of the feelings I havWho could be the thief? Why, of course, nobody described. but Bonaparte. Miss Frounce, wishing to enhance I never ate the lollipop which went by the name the intimidating reputation of her great bugbear, of his ribs, without being awed by a sort of unacfavored the idea, and the whole of the young countable fear that Bonaparte might yet break from gentlemen from three to cight” were under the firm his captivity, and pay me off personally for the inimpression that Bonaparte bad landed in England dignity offered him in purchasing a hap'orth of his during the night, secured the leg of mutton, and anatomy, and sucking it, like Tom Trot or Everton retreated before daylight into the bosom of his Toffee. own army.
SELECTIONS FROM "THE COMIC BLACKSTONE."
BY GILBERT A. A'BECKETT.
OF FELONIES INJURIOUS TO THE KING'S act of William the 4th; and thanks to this meaPREROGATIVE.
sure, followed by that of the 1st of Victoria, the The periodical lexicographers have puzzled them- law now lies in a nutshell. We however always selves and each other as well as us, about the observe, that though the law does lie in a nutshell, derivation of the word felony. As they all make it requires a good deal of jaw, and a long crack different suggestions, we decline adopting any, and over it, before it is comeatable. throw out on our own account the notion that felon By the new Act it is an offence to manufacture is a corruption of fee-long, because a long fee is coin, but there is no harm in making money; and necessary to get up a defence for felony. This defi- it is also criminal to utter a white-washed halfpenny nition is, doubtless, far fetched, but not so far for a halferown, which would be a very desperate fetched as that of some of the legal antiquarians, trick, for the uttering would probably turn out an who have travelled into Greece to get the word utter failure. Having false money in your possesontos, an impostor, as the origin of the word allud- sion, with intent to utter, it is likewise å misdemeaed to.
Our own suggestion we consider the best, nor; but it is a minor offence for a singer to have because felony is on all hands allowed to be a crime a false note in his chest, and to utter it before an involving a loss of property: and the fee-long or audience. long fee certainly implies an enormous sacrifice of 2d. Felonies against the king's council, which forassets. The felonies against the king's prerogatives !nerly included assaulting a privy councillor by a are sis, which we shall briefly specify.
blow or even a kick; but these kicks are now on 1st. Offences relating to the coin, which were the footing of common assaults, and attempts to formerly so severely dealt with that it was almost kill are felonies without any distinction as to the death to be found with a bad halfpenny in one's rank, except in the case of royalty, of the intended pocket, and to utter a suspicious sixpence was re- victim. garded as a piece of unutterable villany. All pre- 3d. Serving foreign states was formerly a felony, vious statutes have however been repealed by the except, says Coke, « serving them out, which was always allowable.” The statutes on this subject are , fact are in most cases punished in the same way as now repealed, and any one may now enlist in the principals, and it is very clear that in the case of Kamtschatkan Grays, the Sandwich Island Buffs, or the crown on the prosecution of Banquo against Macany other outlandish regiment, if he first provides beth and wife, the latter, though only an acceshimself with a royal license.
sory before the fact, deserved as severe a punish4th. Felony by embezzling the sovereign's stores, ment as her husband. In the case of Friar Lawor rather his warlike stores; for if I go to his store rence re Romeo on the demise of Paris, the friar was closet, and steal a lump of his sugar, it is not felony only an accessory after the fact, and therefore in under the statuie. To set on fire any of the royal harboring and assisting Romeo he would, by the dock-yards or ships is a crime still punishable with present law, bave only rendered himself liable to death; and it is also arson to burn an arsenal. two years' imprisonment.
5th. Desertion in time of war, by sea or land, is a felony, and in peace it is a grave offence; so that A DEBT is a sum of money due; but, as we are the sentinels in the park must not desert their posts not anxious to go very deeply into debt, we shall to run after refractory boys who may irritate the not attempt a minute description of what every one military to any extent, by keeping just beyon the must be more or less acquainted with. An action verge of the promenade to which the soldiery are of debt can only be brought for a specified sum; limited. Endeavoring to seduce him from his alle- and if I claim 301. I must not prove a debt of 201., giance is punishable with transportation or impris- any more than I could recover an ox by an action onment, and holding a pot of beer up as a temptation of detinue if I claimed a horse; though it is certo draw him off his beat, is probably within the tain that I might recover a pair of ducks if I claimstatute.
ed a pair of white trowsers. 6th. Administering oaths for a seditious purpose is felony punishable with transportation; but ad- A COVENANT is an obligation contained in a deed, ministering oaths indiscriminately when in a state to do or omit a certain act; as, if a man covenants of intoxication, to any one who happens to pass by, to go to Bath, he must either go to Bath, or be liais only punishable with a fine of five shillings. ble to a writ of covenant, which will plunge him into
hot water. A promise is a sort of verbal covenant; OF PRINCIPALS AND ACCESSORIES.
as, if a builder undertakes to build Caius a pigsty Criminals are either principals or accessories; as, by a certain day, and the pigs of Caius catch cold in a dramatic murder, the principal is he who enacts and die, because the sty is not completed, then the Macbeth, while the accessories are they who give law not only takes the sty into its eye, but the pigs him his cues, and otherwise aid or abet him. It also, and will give damage to Caius for the injury is even doubtful whether the barber who dresses he has sustained by the neglect of the builder. his wig is not an accessory before the fact, while the
OF OFFENCES AGAINST PUBLIC TRADE. critic who praises his performance is clearly an accessory after it.
Smuggling is an offence against public trade; In some offences there are no accessories, but all but it is so frequently practised by the fair sex, that are principals; and in the sort of murder we have it has been held to be a fair proceeding if it can be just alluded to, all would no doubt wish to be. In managed without detection. high treason all are principals, because the offence Another offence of this class is fraudulent bankis so great; and in trespass all are principals, be- ruptcy, like that of Antonio, the Venetian bankrupt, cause de ininimis non curat lex, or in other words, who having made an alarming failure and a terrific because the offence is so little.' Very small crimi- sacrifice of his friend, was compelled to take the nals are pounced upon all in a lump, and the law benefit of the (fifth) act of the Merchant of Venice. crushes them beneath its foot as an elephant would Usury was formerly highly penal; but it may now an ant-hill. De minimis non curat legs would be in be practised almost without restriction ; for the each case appropriate. An accessory before the law says, to protect yourself against usury, you fact is one who causes the commission of a crime, must use--your--eye--and keep a good look-out after and though he has suggested one crime, he may be your own interest. Cheating is an offence against accessory to another; as, if A orders B to shoot trade, which is very commonly practised;
" for it Titius, and B, instead of shooting Titius, gives him is wonderful,” says Roger Bacon, “how much lightsome British brandy, of which Titius dies, then A er a pound of sugar becomes in your own scales ;" is accessory to the poisoning, and may be punished and, indeed, the ingenuity of the tradesman is -like all accessories before the fact—in the same chiefly shown in attaching an undue weiglt to trimanner as the principal. Accessories after the fact fles. are such as relieve or harbor a felon, knowing him Forestalling the market is an offence at common to have committed a felony ; or buy stolen goods, law; as if I were to waylay a cart full of turnips knowing them to be stolen. The purchaser of going towards Covent Garden and purchase them modern music is an accessory after the fact to a all, I should probably send turnips up to a frightful theft on the part of the composer, who has stolen premium, by forestalling the market. the ideas of others. By the French law, receivers These are all the offences against trade which the of stolen goods were punished with death, a law law at present punishes; though perhaps the most which, if put in force in this country, would have serious offence against trade is the very ordinary decimated Field Lane, and utterly depopulated the one of getting into a tradesman's books without greater part of the Minories. Accessories before the I the smallest intention of paying him,
Rusticus wrote a letter to his love,
And filled it full of warm and keen desire;
He hoped to raise a flame, and so he did,
The lady put bis nonsense in the fire.