is worse, not of the same patterns; but as people | say, two Lincolnshire removes are as bad as a fire of London.

The first thing I did on coming down, was to see to the sweeps going up,-but I wish I had been less precipitous, for the sooty wretches stole four good flitches of bacon, as was up the kitchen chimney, quite unbeknown to me. We have filled up the vacancy with more, which smoke us dreadfully, but what is to be cured must be endured. My next thing was to have all holes and corners cleared out, and washed, and scrubbed, being left, like bachelor's places, in a sad state by old single W.; for a rich man, I never saw one that wanted so much cleaning out. There were heaps of dung about, as high as haystacks, and it cost me five shillings a load to have it all carted off the premises; besides heaps of good-for-nothing littering straw, that I gave to the boys for bonfires. We are not all to rights yet, but Rome wasn't built in St. Thomas's day.

It was providential I hampered myself with cold provisions, for except the bacon there were no eatables in the house. What old W. lived upon is a mystery, except salads, for we found a whole field of beet-root, which, all but a few plants for Dorothy to pickle, I had chucked away. As the ground was then clear for sowing up a crop, I directed George to plough it up, but he met with agricultural distress. He says as soon as he whipped his horses, the plough stuck its nose in the earth, and tumbled over head and heels. It seems very odd when ploughing is so easy to look at, but I trust he will do better in time. Experience makes a King Solomon of a Tom noddy.

I expect we shall have bushels upon bushels of corn, tho' sadly pecked by the birds, as I have had all the scarecrows taken down for fear of the children dreaming of them for Bogies. For the same dear little sakes I have had the well filled up, and the nasty sharp iron spikes drawn out of all the rakes and harrows. Nobody shall say to my teeth, I am not a good Mother. With these precautions I trust the young ones will enjoy the

country when the gipsies have left, but till then, I confine them to round the house, as it's no use shutting the stable door after you've had a child stole. We have a good many fine fields of hay, which I mean to have reaped directly, wet or shine; for delays are as dangerous as pickles in glazed paus. Perhaps St. Swithen's is in our favor, for if the stacks are put up dampish they won't catch fire so easily, if Swing should come into these parts. The poor boys have made themselves very industrious in shooting off the birds, and hunting away all the vermin, besides cutting down trees. As I knew it was profitable to fell timber, I directed them to begin with a very ugly straggling old hollow tree next the premises, but it fell the wrong way, and knocked down the cow-house. Luckily the poor animals were all in the clover-field at the time. George says it wouldn't have happened but for a violent sow, or rather sow-west, and it's likely enough, but it's an ill wind that blows nothing to nobody.

For

Having writ last post to Mr. P., I have no occasion to make you a country commissioner. Anastasia, indeed, wants to have books about every thing, but for my part and Dorothy's we don't put much faith in authorized receipts and directions, but trust more to nature and common sense. instance, in fatting a goose, reason points to sage and onions,-why our own don't thrive on it, is very mysterious. We have a beautiful poultry yard, only infested with rats,-but I have made up a poison, that, I know by the poor ducks, will kill them if they eat it.

I expected to send you a quantity of wall-fruit, for preserving, and am sorry you bought the brandy beforehand, as it has all vanished in-one night by

THE RAKE'S PROGRESS.

downwards. Our apples and pears would have gone too, but luckily we heard a noise in the dark, and threw brickbats out of the window, that alarmed the thieves by smashing the cowcumber frames. However, I mean on Monday to make sure of the orchard, by gathering the trees, a pheasant in one's hand is worth two cock sparrows in a bush. One comfort is, the house-dog is very vicious, and wont let any of us stir in or out after dark-indeed, nothing can be more furious, except the bull, and at me in particular. You would think he knew my inward thoughts, and that I intend to have him roasted whole when we give our grand housewarming regalia.

With these particulars, I remain, with love, my dear Dorcas, your affectionate sister,

BELINDA PUGSLEY.

P. S.-I have only one anxiety here, and that is, the likelihood of being taken violently ill, nine miles off from any physical powers, with nobody that can ride in the house, and nothing but an insurmountable hunting horse in the stable. I should like, therefore, to be well doctor-stuff'd from Apothecaries' Hall, by the wagon or any other vehicle. A stitch in the side taken in time saves nine spasms. Dorothy's tincture of the rhubarb stalks in the garden, doesn't answer, and it's a pity now they were not saved for pies.

No. VI.-From Mrs. PuGSLEY to Mrs. ROGERS. MADAM,-Although warmth has made a coolness, and our having words has caused a silence-yet as mere writing is not being on speaking terms, and disconsolate parents in the case; I waive venting of animosities till a more agreeable moment. Having perused the afflicted advertisement in the Times, with interesting description of person, and ineffectual dragging of New River, beg leave to say that Master Robert is safe and well, having arrived here on Saturday night last, with almost not a shoe to his foot, and no coat at all, as was supposed to be with the approbation of parents. It appears, that not supposing the distance between the families extended to him, he walked the whole way

down on the footing of a friend, to visit my son Richard, but hearing the newspapers read, quitted suddenly, the same day with the gipsies, and we haven't an idea what is become of him. Trusting this statement will relieve of all anxiety, remain, madam, your humble servant, BELINDA PUGSLEY.

No. VII.-To Mr. SILAS PUGSLEY, Parisian Depôt, Shoreditch.

DEAR BROTHER,-My favor of the present date, is to advise of my safe arrival on Wednesday night, per opposition coach, after ninety miles of discomof five miles more, through lanes and roads, that for fort, absolutely unrivalled for cheapness, and a walk dirt and sludge may confidently defy competition,— not to mention turnings and windings, too numerous to particularize, but morally impossible to pursue on undeviating principles. The night was of so dark a quality as forbade finding the gate, but for the house-dog flying upon me by mistake for the late respectable proprietor, and almost tearing my clothes off my back by his strenuous exertions to obtain the favor of my patronage.

Conscientiously averse to the fallacious statements, so much indulged in by various competitors, truth urges to acknowledge that on arrival, I did not find things on such a footing as to insure universal satisfaction. Mrs. P., indeed, differs in her statement, but you know her success always surlous to merit commendation by the strictest regard passed the most sanguine expectations. Ever emulumbago, through her studious efforts to please, and to principles of economy, I found her laid up with Doctor Clarke, of Wisbeach, in the house prescribing for it, but I am sorry to add-no abatement. Dorothy is also confined to her bed, by her unremitting assiduity and attention in the housekeeping line; and Anastasia the same, from listening for nightingales, on a fine July evening, but which is an article not always to be warranted to keep its and small sizes, ditto, ditto, with Grace too ill to virtue in any climate, the other children, large totally unable to execute such extensive demands. serve in the nursery, and the rest of the servants Such an unprecedented depreciation in health makes me doubt the quality of country air, so much recommended for family use, and whether constitutions have not more eligibility to offer that have been regularly town-made.

Our new residence is a large lonely mansion, with no connection with any other house, but standing in the heart of Lincolnshire fens, over which it looks through an advantageous opening: compris ing a great variety of windmills, and drains, and willow-pollards, and an extensive assortment of similar articles, that are not much calculated to invite inspection. In warehouses for corn, etc., it probably presents unusual advantages to the occupier; but candor compels to state that agriculture in this part of Lincolnshire is very flat. To supply language on the most moderate terms, unexampled distress in Spitalfields is nothing to the distress in ours. The corn has been deluged with rain of remarkable durability, without being able to wash the smut out of its ears; and with regard to the expected great rise in hay, our stacks have been burnt down to the ground, instead of going to the consumer. If the hounds hadn't been out, we might have fetch'd the engines, but the hunter threw George on his head, and he only revived to be sen

676

sible that the entire stock had been disposed of at an immense sacrifice. The whole amount, I fear, will be out of book,- -as the Norwich Union refuses to liquidate the hay, on the ground that the policy was voided by the impolicy of putting it up wet. In other articles I am sorry I must write no alteration. Our bull, after killing the house-dog, and tossing William, has gone wild, and had the madness to run away from his livelihood, and, what is worse, all the cows after him-except those that had burst themselves in the clover-field, and a small dividend, as I may say, of one in the pound. Another item, the pigs, to save bread and milk, have been turned into the woods for acorns, and is an article producing no returns-as not one has yet come back. Poultry ditto. Sedulously cultivating an enlarged connection in the turkey line, such the antipathy to gipsies, the whole breed, geese and ducks inclusive, removed themselves from the premises by night, directly a strolling camp came and set up in the neighborhood. To avoid prolixity, when I came to take stock, there was no stock to take-namely, no eggs, no butter, no cheese, no corn, no hay, no bread, no beer-no water even-nothing but the mere commodious premises, and fixtures, and good-will-and candor compels to add, a very small quantity on hand of the last-named particular. To add to stagnation, neither of my two sons in the business, nor the two apprentices, have been so dillgently punctual in executing country orders with despatch and fidelity, as laudable ambition desires, but have gone about fishing and shooting-and William has suffered a loss of three fingers, by his unvarying system of high charges. He and Richard are likewise both threatened with prosecution for trespassing on the hares in the adjoining landed interest, and Nick is obliged to decline any active share, by dislocating his shoulder in climbing a tall tree for a tom-tit. As for George, tho' for the first time beyond the circumscribed limits of town custom, he indulges vanity in such unqualified pretensions to superiority of knowledge in farming, on the strength of his grandfather having belonged to

the agricultural line of trade, as renders a wholesale stock of patience barely adequate to meet its demands. Thus stimulated to injudicious performance, he is as injurious to the best interests of the country, as blight and mildew, and smut and rot, and glanders, and pip, all combined in one texture. Between ourselves, the objects of unceasing endeavors, united with uncompromising integrity, have been assailed with so much deterioration, as makes me humbly desirous of abridging sufferings, by resuming business as a shoe marter at the old-established house. If Clack and Son, therefore, have not already taken possession and respectfully informed the vicinity, will thankfully pay reasonable compensation for loss of time and expense incurred by the bargain being off. In case parties agree, I beg you will authorize Mr. Robins to have the honor to dispose of the whole Lincolnshire concern, tho' the knocking down of Middlefen Hall will be a severe blow on Mrs. P. and family. Deprecating the deceitful stimulus of advertising arts, interest commands to mention,-desirable freehold estate and eligible investment and sole reason for disposal, the proprietor going to the continent. Example suggests likewise, a good country for hunting for fox-hounds-and a prospect too extensive to put in a newspaper. Circumstances being rendered awkward by the untoward event of the running away of the cattle, etc., it will be best to say"The stock to be taken as it stands;"-and an additional favor will be politely conferred, and the same thankfully acknowledged, if the auctioneer will be so kind as bring the next market town ten miles nearer, and carry the coach and the wagon once a day past the door. Earnestly requesting early attention to the above, and with sentiments of, etc. R. PUGSLEY, SEN.

P. S. Richard is just come to hand dripping and half dead out of the Nene, and the two apprentices all but drowned each other in saving him. Hence occurs to add, fishing opportunities among the desirable items.

"On! what is that comes gliding in,

And quite in middling haste?

It is the picture of my Jones,
And painted to the waist.

"It is not painted to the life,

For where's the trowsers blue?

Oh Jones, my dear!-Oh dear! my Jones, What is become of you?"

"O! Sally dear, it is too true,

The half that you remark

Is come to say my other half

Is bit off by a shark!

"Oh! Sally, sharks do things by halves,
Yet most completely do!

A bite in one place seems enough,
But I've been bit in two.

"You know I once was all your own
But now a shark must share!
But let that pass-for now to you
I'm neither here nor there.

"Alas! death has a strange divorce Effected in the sea,

It has divided me from you,

And even me from me!

"Don't fear my ghost will walk o' nights

To haunt, as people say;

My ghost can't walk, for, oh! my legs
Are many leagues away!

"Lord! think when I am swimming round, And looking where the boat is,

A shark just snaps away a half,
Without a quarter's notice.'
"One half is here, the other half
Is near Columbia placed;
Oh! Sally, I have got the whole
Atlantic for my waist.

"But now, adieu-a long adieu!

I've solved death's awful riddle,
And would say more, but I am doomed
To break off in the middle !"