His landlord, and of middle men two brace, In the round world was not the match of Pat. RAB'S DREAM.-Rab was in the habit of occasionally receiving a small gratuity from one of the clergymen of the town. From some cause or other, this had been for some time neglected. One day the clergyman and Rab having met: "Weel, how's a' wi' you the day, Rab?" inquired his reverence. "Deed, sir, I had an awfu' dream last night. I dreamt that I was dead, and that I gaed awa to the guid place; and when I cam' there, I knocked at a big yett, and after I had stood awhile, there was a man, I believe it was the Apostle Peter, looked ower the top o' the yett, and he cries, 'Who's there?' 'It's Rab Hamilton,' says I. 'Where,' says he, 'do ye come from?' Says I, 'Frae the auld town o' Ayr.' 'Hech, mon,' says he, 'I am glad to see you here; for there's neither mon nor woman come here frae that place for the last twa or three years.' A LIBERAL OFFER.-A clergyman was presented to a living in the vicinity of Glasgow, who had a protuberance between the shoulders, arising from diseased spine; and a corresponding protrusion of the chest. The parishioners were opposed to a person of such ungainly appearance occupying their pulpit. The presentee heard of the dissatisfaction, and, being a person of some humor and tact, convened a meeting of the malcontents, in order to ascertain their objections. "I have heard," said he, "that my settlement amongst you is not likely to be agreeable; now, as I am not aware of any objection to my opinions or practice-my slender abilities for such a charge I admit-I should just like, as we are all friends and brethren, and have only one object to serve, that you would state your obOne of these is to the following effect:-Two jections." One glanced to another, which was as cocks, newly sprung into affluence, were prevailed significantly returned, and silence prevailed for some upon by their wives to allow them to pay a visit to time, when one stammered out, "Sir, you see-we Gourock, but only on condition that they were to you see-sir-sir, I maun speak for my brethren employ their time well, and take plenty of salt wa-here-dinna like your bodily appearance." Having accompanied their spouses to that vil- ther do I," was the reply; and if ye can get it lage, and seen them properly accommodated, the repaired, I'll be at half the expense myself." two gentlemen returned to business, and did not OBEDIENT WIVES.-The people of Greenock are fond of telling stories reflecting on the inland ignorance of the bodies of Paisley. ter. "-"Nei 20 atly grieved us to think, float Ins bare died before our loved us an opportunity of ijecting to the test ret of our is claims to imunostality as 11 The Doctor bal, we bu er to Us, which he and A he would have had s for the good old man that ep with the undimmed idea of that mat 1 Dinner in his imagination, than, val.ly g with the physical evil inherent in matdetected the Bishop's foot in the fict died of a broken heart! elling," it is remarked by quer Fiber dent ; eating." a his Traveller's Gracle, "is a retor Denended, especially to those ef sedentary-who are engag chose minds have been su doncholy by bynochondrias -a lack of domestic fielt 2t suller on endden trac it is improper for people accuste Zety lite to undertake suddenly which the will be exposed to long 12 to d the Doctor ekole quate a day onaces he 318 A very which is 13 satiety is in st not eltahot sem hold in cathing. What tomon than to feel sand's self very much quite done up as it nd or foet. ddenly the brecens for the ith all begin cat paizning ut as lightidue, the sunshine A drowned da elf, to the sok celane the No Bout |