Bryce once more retreated, and Mrs. Maxwell, having selected a beautiful sheet of note paper, quickly penned the following effusion: "My dear Lady Crosby, permit me to request your acceptance of a solan goose, which has just been sent me from Maxwell Hall. Knowing your fondness for this bird, I am delighted at having it in my power to gratify you. I hope that you continue to enjoy good health. This is to be a very gay winter. By the bye, do you know any one who is acquainted with the French noblesse? I am dying to meet with them. Ever, my dear Lady Crosby, yours truly, M. MAXWELL." Lady Crosby being out when this billet reached her house, it was opened by one of her daughters. "Bless me, Maria!" she exclaimed to her sister, "how fortunate it was that I opened this note; Mrs. Maxwell has sent mamma a solan goose!" "Dreadful!" exclaimed Eliza; "I am sure if mamma hears of it she will have it roasted immediately, and Captain Jessamy, of the Lancers, is to call to-day, and you know, a roasted solan goose is enough to contaminate a whole parish, I shall certainly go distracted!" "Don't discompose yourself," replied Maria; "I shall take good care to send it out of the house before mamma comes home; meanwhile, I must write a civil answer to Mrs. Maxwell's note. I dare say she will not think of alluding to it; but, if she should, mamma, luckily, is pretty deaf, and may never be a bit the wiser." "I think," said Eliza, we had better send the goose to the Napiers, as they were rather affronted at not being asked to our last musical party; I dare say they will make no use of it, but it looks attentive." "An excellent thought," rejoined Maria. No sooner said than done; in five minutes, the travelled bird had once more changed its quarters. "A solan goose!" ejaculated Mrs. Napier, as her footman gave her the intelligence of Lady Crosby's present. "Pray, return my compliments to her ladyship, and I feel much obliged by her polite attention. Truly," continued she, when the domestic had retired to fulfil this mission, "if Lady Crosby thinks to stop our mouths with a solan goose, she will find herself very much mistaken. I suppose she means this as a peace-offering for not having asked us to her last party. I suppose she was afraid, Clara, my dear, you would cut out her clumsy daughters with Sir Charles." "If I don't, it shall not be my fault," replied her amiable daughter. 'I flirted with him in such famous style at the last concert, that I thought Eliza would have fainted on the spot. But what are you going to do with the odious bird?" "Oh, I shall desire John to carry it to poor Mrs. Johnstone." "I wonder, mamma, that you would take the trouble of sending all the way to the Canongate for any such purpose; what good can it do you to oblige people who are so wretchedly poor?" "Why, my dear," replied the lady, "to tell you the truth, your father, in early life, received such valuable assistance from Mr. Johnstone, who was at that time a very rich man, as laid the foundation of his present fortune. Severe losses reduced Mr. Johnstone to poverty; he died, and your father has always been intending, at least promising to do something for the family, but has never found an opportunity. Last year, Mrs. Johnstone most unfortunately heard that he had it in his power to get a young man out to India, and she applied to Mr. Napier on behalf of her son, which, I must say, was a very ill-judged step, as showing that she thought he required to be reminded of his promises, which, to a man of any feeling, must always be a grating circumstance; but I have often observed, that poor people have very little delicacy in such points; however, as your papa fancies sometimes that these people have a sort of claim on him, I am sure he will be glad to pay them any attention that costs him nothing." Behold, then, our hero exiled from the fashionable regions of the West, and laid on the broad of his back on a table, in a small but clean room, in a humble tenement in the Canongate, where three hungry children eyed with delight his fat legs, his swelling breast and magnificent pinions. Oh, mamma, mamma," cried the children, skipping | The children gazed with lengthened faces as the goose was carried from their sight, and conveyed by Henry to the house of Lady Bethune, who, appreciating the motives which had dictated the gift, received it with benevolent kindness. "Tell your mother, my dear," said she to Henry, "that I feel " most particularly obliged by her attention, and be "La, madam!" exclaimed Mrs. Bryce, as she once Away ran Mrs. Bryce with her prize to Towler.; and he, not recollecting that he had any favor to obtain from any one, or that he had any dear friends to oblige, received the present very gratefully, and, as he lay in his kennel, Lazily mumbled the bones of the dead; thus ingloriously terminating the migrations of a A LEGAL PEDANT NONPLUSSED. ANON. their construction, than from their adaptation to Peter thought to dash Isaac, and so confuse him "Your ISAAC M'GREGOR was a simple-minded rustic, of a most obliging disposition, with a vein of sarcastic humor, which he could work with very decided effect when occasion required. He rented a small patch of ground that fringed the muir of Kippen, part of the estate of Stirling of Carden. Isaac had never seen much of the great world. With a couple of horses, he contrived to keep the thatch over his shoulders, and the wheels of life in Peter threw himself back into his seat and looked working condition, by carrying whiskey for the far-terror, at the same time displaying a frill of cambric famed Kepp distillery, the proprietor of which, the late Mr. Cassils, was distantly related to him. Isaac piqued himself on his knowledge of horses, and was generally his own farrier, whether as respected medical treatment, or arming the hoofs of that noble animal against the tear and wear of the road. Isaac had been witness to the sale of a horse at the fair of Shandon, which, though sold as sound, turned out afterwards, to have some defect in the hoof; and an action was raised before the sheriff, and proof allowed, to show that the disease was of long standing, and the fault must have been known to the vender at the time of sale. Isaac was summoned to Dumblane, to give evidence before the sheriff in favor of the defender. The agent employed by the purchaser was as pompous a quill driver" as ever scribbled on parchment or small pott. Peter Dudgeon (for that was his name) boasted that he had a more complete knowledge of the English language than any practitioner in sheriff or burgh court, from the Grampians to Cheviot, from his having the whole of Johnson's dictionary at his finger-ends. The words selected by Peter for common use, were remarkable more for the quantity of the alphabet employed in 66 "It of extraordinary depth and longitude. "Well, my sexagenarian friend Isaac," resumed "Hech, sirs! nae wonder, Peter, that you're Peter, "how do you know, or how can you satisfy blawing like a bursting haggis, after a' that blabber your mind as to the validity of the testimony upon o' words; you'll hae pitten a' the lair ye e'er got which your powers of perception have chosen to at the cottage in that speech, I'se warrant;— ye arbitrate so temerariously?" "Och, man! it would mind sin' you and I were at Claymire's school thetak you a lang time to ken as muckle about horses gether, what a poor fusionless whey-faced shawp as I do; ye would need to gang out and eat grasso' a creature you war', baith in soul and body, and wi' them for seven years, like auld Nebuchadnezzar, that you couldna spell your ain name!" "Do you afore ye learnt your lesson." know, then, any thing about the diseases that horses are predisposed to?" "Lang-winded is no ane o' them, at ony rate." Peter was fairly put out, and got into a violent rage. "My lord, I have asked a plain question, and I must demand a categorical answer, or I shall move that the witness be committed for contempt of court." "I would advise you, Mr. Dudgeon," said the judge, "to put your questions in a more intelligible shape, and I have no doubt but the witness will give you a respectful answer." "That sairs you right, Peter," said the imperturbable Isaac, "and gin I had you in the muir o' Kippen, I would let ye fin' the weight o' that shakle-bane alang the side o' your head-and mak thae hornshottle teeth in your mouth dance the Dusty Miller. Ony mair to spin, ye manifest piece o' impudence?" "What do you know about the value of a horse?" resumed Peter. "I wonder what I should ken about, if I didna ken about horse-I may say born and brought up amang them-mair than ye can say, Mr. Peter, o' the profession ye hae taen by the hand." "Have you made it your business to become acquainted with the veterinary art, whether as applied to the general anatomy of the horse, or the moral and physical habits of this useful animal; and, to attain the requisite degree of knowledge, have you studied carefully the article on that subject in the Encyclopædia Britannica, and most particularly, as in the minutiae of detail on the subject, have you bought from your bookseller, a copy of the work, entitled The Horse, published under the sanction and patronage of the society denominating themselves, The Society for Diffusing Useful Knowledge, and made it your study by night and by day?" "From your knowledge of the veterinary art, and the profound attention that you have bestowed on the subject, would you presume to say, that a horse's hoof might be the seat of any latent, unmanifested ailment-disease-malady-gangrene or tumor protected though it be by the crust or wall of the foot, without being visible to the ocular faculty? Now?" 66 "Did ye hear the thunder down there, lads? Ye may be verra thankfu', Mr. Dudgeon, that ye haena mony teeth left in the front o' your mouth, or thae big words could never hae gotten out." Really, Mr. Dudgeon," said the Judge, "you are taking up too much time of the court, by useless preliminaries. If you have any of your young men in court, would you allow one of them to take up the examination?" "Very well, my lord." William, take up this brief, or case, and farther interrogate that incorrigible carter." "Witness! the next question in my brief or case,-and recollect you are still upon oath, is-Do you suppose it possible for a disease or ailment to exist in the perforating flesh or tendon, without immediately manifesting itself in occasioning lameness by its action in the chamber of the hoof?" "Weel, my lordjudge, after a', are thae twa no a bonny pair? as the craw said o' his claws." The court became perfectly convulsed, so that the sheriff was himself obliged to finish the examinatior A COOK'S LEGACY. BY J. D. CARRICK. BLEAK now the winter blaws, thick flee the driftin' | All the way hame though never so dreary, snaws, A' the warld looks cauld and blae ; Birds wha used to sing, now wi' shiverin' wing, Dozen'd sit on the frosted spray; But though the wintry winds blaw keenly, Oh when I think on her cheeks sae greasy, It charms my heart to think of thee; Some yield their hearts to the charms of beauty, But when they've caught their long-wish'd booty, The maid that is baking a pie for me. "What a pleasant thing to see a man bein' sensible to the last! ony mair?" 'An' a crown for a cow's hide." "Ay," quoth the wife, "sensible yetweel, James, what was't ye was gaun to say?" "Nae mair," quoth James, "but I am ow'n Jock Tamson twa pounds in balance o' a cow." Hoot, toot," quoth the wife, "he's a ravin' now-he's just demented-dinna mind ony mair that he says." 66 ONCE 't was when I lived at Jena- THE STUDENT OF JENA. BY W. E. AYTOUN (bon GaultieR). Gazed upon the tranquil pool, Whence the silver-voiced Undine, When the nights were calm and cool, As the Baron Fouqué tells us, Rose from out her shelly grot, Flings across the rippling stream, Was it thought, or was it dream? Stretched along the daisied sward, Did she plunge the white chemise; And her robes were loosely gathered Rather far above her knees; Then my breath at once forsook me, Standing in the glancing stream— And I felt the charm of knighthood; And from that remembered day, Every evening to the Wirthshaus Took I my enchanted way. Shortly to relate my story, Many a week of summer long, Came I there, when beer-o'ertaken, With my lute and with my song; Sung in mellow-toned soprano All my love and all my woe, Till the river-maiden answered, Lilting in the stream below:"Fair Undine! sweet Undine! Dost thou love as I love thee?" "Love is free as running water," Was the answer made to me. Thus, in interchange seraphic, Vanished was my own Undine, All her linen, too, was gone And I walked about lamenting, On the river bank alone. Idiot that I was, for never Had I asked the maiden's name. Was it Lieschen-was it Gretchen ? Had she tin, or whence she came ? So I took my trusty meerschaum, And I took my lute likewise; Wandered forth in minstrel fashion, Underneath the lowering skies; Sang before each comely Wirthshaus, Sang beside each purling stream, That same ditty which I chanted When Undine was my theme, Singing, as I sang at Jena, When the shifts were hung to dry, "Fair Undine! young Undine! Dost thou love as well as I?" But, alas! in field or village, Or beside the pebbly shore, Did I see those glancing ankles, And the white robe, never more; And no answer came to greet me, No sweet voice to mine replied; But I heard the waters rippling, And the moaning of the tide. "The moaning of the TIED." MY WIFE'S COUSIN. DECKED with shoes of blackest polish, To my daily desk I go; All day long across the ledger Mutton chops with care is crumbing. When the clock proclaims my freedom, Till I reach my darling dwelling " In the wilds of Pimlico. BY W. E. AYTOUN. 'Mary, wife, where art thou, dearest ?" Thus I cry, while yet afar; Ah! what scent invades my nostrils?"Tis the smoke of a cigar! Instantly into the parlor And I find a young Life-Guardsman, And his other hand is playing "Was there ever such a monster, Then the young Life-Guardsman, rising, "This your cousin, then he's mine! Very glad, indeed, to see you— Won't you stop with us, and dine?" Won't a ferret suck a rabbit? As a thing of course he stops; And with most voracious swallow Walks into my mutton chops. In the twinkling of a bed-post, Is each savory platter clear, And he shows uncommon science In his estimate of beer. Half-and-half goes down before him, Evermore, when, home returning, Yet I know he's Mary's cousin, Much resembles that young Guardsman, In the fire, than touching hers. |