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styled Scourge of God, so fearlessly world as she has done from the bedoes the other meet the more im- ginning ; and men may sneer at her palpable and insidious, but far more and do battle with her, may even, dangerous foe, developed and fos- seemingly, conquer in that battle. tered by the apostasy of the Monk Their victory will be shortlived. of Wittenberg. And so to the end
“ Truth crushed to earth shall rise again : of ages will the Church through her
The eternal years of God are hers;
But Error, wounded, writhes with pain, chief pastor fight the errors of the
And dies amid her worshippers.'
POETRY AND PHILOSOPHY.
“ Il faut choisir-il faut être poète ou philosophe !”-Consuelo.
I LOVE them both! And must I make my choice?
Can I not follow fair Philosophy,
When the heart longs to speak and thou art nigh?
O never bid me stifle the loved tone
That whispers to our nature, sadly sweet !
Or thrill with tales where love and battle meet,
And never ask me to renounce the lore
Unfolding to my gaze fair nature's page.
The poet's heart, the wisdom of the sage !
Wisdom that scorns the poet's tenderness,
That cannot love the beautiful and bright,
And genius that would scorn the lowly way
Which leads to truth, although by millions trod,
And learn from children how to soar to God.
There's worldly wisdom, and there's poesy's art,
Both of this earth; but in their nobler sphere
Reclaim from sin, and guide in love and fear.
HOW PROFESSOR GASTER LECTURED A GHOST.
The little old clock in the mottled I do not wish to say that the Prowalnut wood case that stood on the fessor had taken champagne with mantelpiece of the Professor's labor- more people that night than he ought, atory, No. 18 Great Decoram Street, at Mrs. Fitz Jones's great annual had just chimed out midnight in a party (though even that would only silvery and musical way, when the tend to show the largeness of the Professor opened his front door with excellent man's benevolence), but a latch-key and burglariously entered still I must concede that somehow his own house on his early return or other he was abnormally exhilafrom an evening party.
rated, for he danced a cavalier seul as Now, the Professor was a popular he put his Gibus on the hall-table, lecturer on food, electricity, and and pirouetted as he took off his other kindred subjects, and being, gray opera wrapper and shawl handmoreover, a jovial, fat, clever little kerchief, and lighted his moderator man, was rather an acquisition at lamp at the flame of the expiring little parties, for he sang a little, night-light. But as I have often obplayed a little, danced a little, flirted served that great benevolence and a little, and made a fool of himself good animal spirits go together, I a little, yet was by no means a bore, am sometimes inclined to think that but on the contrary, a decidedly the milk of human kindness is in useful old bachelor, and would waltz some constitutions flavored slightly with ugly girls, chat with talka- with alcohol, and therefore partakes tive old fogies, and take gorgeous of the nature of milk-punch. Howdowagers down to the supper-room. ever, I leave this abstruse question to And as the Professor did not care those clear-headed gentlemen the about being joked at, but on the physiologists. contrary liked it, and when joked, The Professor was as brave as most laughed, and twinkled, and beamed men, but he was that night, it must through his silvery spectacles, like a be confessed, a little nervous. His merry old glow-worm, every one nerves were sensitive and wide forgot his learning and celebrity and awake--in the state that I should be liked the Professor heartily.
inclined to think the telegraph wires On the night in question, the are in, that is, constantly and almost Professor was in high spirits—and fretfully expecting a message to be with some reason. Firstly, he had sent through their medium. The made two jokes that had set the Professor, I think, had got a sort of supper-table in a roar, and had made vague suspicion of ghosts or thieves, the jellies shake as if they felt the material or spiritual intruders, he did cold. Secondly, he had waltzed not know which, and he did not care twice with pretty Fanny Ledger, which either; for I am sure that in and had received a smile that gave the one case he would have fallen hopes of more intimate relationship on them with the slender dress cane being established some day between then in his hand (not a formidable the houses of Ledger and Gaster. weapon, it must be allowed), and in Thirdly, a great thought had struck the other have flung open the front him as he walked briskly and chirpily door and shouted for the police. It home, for his celebrated Treatise on was, at all events, owing to this slight the Merrythought of the Dodo, nervous derangement, I suppose, that which was to be read at the Society the Professor, as he lighted his lamp, on the ensuing Wednesday.
went down the two steps that led to
the kitchen stairs, and peered in- deduce certain facts not useless to quisitively and suspiciously into the humanity-humanity, I mean, with empty darkness. But good soul! a big H-HUMANITY. there was nothing to see there save “What's that noise ? Oh, only one black-beetle on the wall, and the policeman trying the front door nothing to hear but the watchful to see if it is properly bolted." drudging tick of the imprisoned The Professor sits down at his kitchen clock below. The bolts table, which is on the door side of were all up at the shutters, and the the stove, turns up the gas (up it doormats were duly removed. Trusty Aies like a willing spirit), and sits Mrs. Dawson had forgotten nothing. down to work quietly for an hour at
“ Pooh! what a fool I am !” his résumé lecture on the gastric thought the Professor, as he turned juice. But first he goes (I should the key of his laboratory door open- mention) to a side-table at the ing out of the hall to the right, and farthest end of the room beyond the stepped in. Everything was snug stove, to see that that mischievous and trim, the stove was ruddy, the girl of Mrs. Dawson's hasn't been gas-lamps were just alight, and that touching the thermo-electrical instruwas all, their little blue jets hoarding ments. No, the wires are right, and up the flame with due regard to the yesterday's solder, joining the bars quarterly gas bill. How clear and of copper and the bars of iron, is bright the spirit-lamp looked; how firm and uncracked. But I think she crystalline were the glass bowls; how has been moving the skeleton of the ready to go through fire and water Polish soldier that the doctor keeps the rough crucibles; how grand the for his anatomical lectures, else why retorts; how red the vermilioned is one of the skeleton's legs thrust horseshoes of big magnets! In the out before the other, as if our bony exhilaration of those after-supper friend with the vacant eyes, and the moments the Professor felt quite a Russian bullet in his skull, had been boy again, and the old boyish delight promenading the laboratory in his at the sight of the chemical appara- master's absence? With a "tut-tut" tus came over him with its old power of impatience the Doctor puts the “Of what use was it to go to bed ? skeleton into its right place in the He was sure not to get to sleep after corner, and makes as he does it quite that strong coffee. Why might he a castanet clatter with the loose leg. not sit up for an hour and work ?" bones ; at last it is right, hanging by
"Work.” But here a difficulty the usual ring, safe on its gibbet-like presented itself. What kind of work frame, dry, brown, and ghastly as should Professor Gaster select ? There ever. wasn't time to go into “the dodo's Now the Professor settles down at merrythought," and it wanted day- last seriously to work. He carefully light to examine “ the capillary cir- culls the best pen in his quiver and culation of the tadpole's tail." But nibs it. He takes off the gutta-percha the Professor had a will of his own, band that encircles his roll of leche decided in a moment, the struggle ture manuscripts, and he unscrews was over, he would-yes, that was it the top of his inkstand. Ye gods of -pursue his researches on the “gas- medicine be propitious, for the Protric juice and the effect of alcoholic fessor has mounted the tripod-I liquids upon the human system.” mean, he has just seated himself with Thoughts suggested at Mrs. Fitz a plop on his red morocco leather Jones's party might possibly be use- covered library-chair. Now, he flatful, he might even from his own self- tens the paper oratorically with the consciousness, and the memory of back of his hand, and with a slightly that lobster salad, digested so facilely, pompous hem! savoring somewhat of the British institution, and with of venison, vegetables, beer, wine, a slight hiccough, begins to read his catsup, bread, pastry, and finally preliminary résumé of the net re- cheese. I shall then pour in two sults of stomachic digestion.
tablespoonfuls of my artificial gas“First. The food is churned, tric juice, and submit the whole to ground, triturated, macerated, dis- a gentle heat, showing by an electric integrated, and liquefied.”
light which will penetrate the tissues Here the Professor stopped, and of the bag, the rapid solvency of the seriously reflected whether those whole into one colorless pulp or three last oyster patés that followed chyle. This lecture will lead to treinstead of preceding the liberal help- mendous discussions in the papers. ing of Mrs. Fitz-Jones's blancmange One will talk cleverly about it, quote were not rather injudicious.
the Latin grammar, and say some “ 2. The fats, liberated from their sharp ill-tempered things. Another, cellular envelopes, have become say The Fleam, that clever medical oils.”
paper, will have discussions showing "I shall suffer for this to-mor- that there is no such thing as gastric row,” thought the gay Professor. juice, and never was ; upon which
663. The sugars have not much The Cricket will reply and show that altered, for they are crystalline bod- every drop of blood in our bodies ies; but the cane-sugars have turned is gastric juice. When the whole to grape-sugars, and perhaps a small affair is finished, The Bottler will proportion of them have turned to have some album verses on the gaslactic or milk acid.”
tric juice, and will have a leader " I shall have a headache to-mor- proving that a belief in the indisrow," said the Professor's stomachic coverability of the component parts conscience, quite indifferent to the of the gastric juice is a Tory instilecture on the gastric juice.
tution. Ha! ha!”. “4. The vegetable matters have And here the Professor, pausing been divided and made pulpy. The to take breath, actually rolled about starch of some of them has turned in his chair at the images his exhilinto saliva.”
arated imagination had raised, but Here the Professor lighted a che- he suddenly drew up quite rigid and root.
composed as the echo of his own “5. The albuminous matters have laugh seemed to return to him from been macerated and some portion of the bookcase behind the skeleton. them turned into peptones (how the Now the Professor, though a vain gas flickers !); the whole has be- little man, and a trifle of a humbug, come a pulp."
had a certain sense of humor, and “Excellent," said the good little he was not so wise that he could not man, rubbing his plump little hands laugh at himself. I like him for it,
-"excellently condensed, though I and I think that that merry (perhaps say it. Such should popular science rather champagny) laugh did him be, and would that such it were! I great credit. shall then perform my extraordinary The popular lecturer looked at and expensive experiments of artifi- the clock. It was ten minutes to cial digestion. Taking a-halloa ! one. , what's that noise ? I'm rather ner- “Stay till two," he said, " and vous to-night-taking, I say, the just read short notes that have stomach of a newly killed sheep, drawn up for m'Christmas lecture on carefully cleaned and scented, I shall • British and Foreign Wines, their desire my attendant to place into it, uses and abuses, with special rebit by bit, an excellent dinner : tur- marks, by request, on South African tle soup, salmon, salad, a slice Port and Betts's Brandy.' Oh, that Mrs. Fitz-Jones's champagne ! there The one sat with legs stretched fopwas something in it. What two pishly out, and his long right arm glasses of cham-” Here the Pro- hung over the chair-back; the other fessor again hiccoughed. “But the cowered over the fire and rubbed cold air on a February night (after his knees, which the fire reflection supper parties) does make one hic- turned to luminous crimson. cough. What is that noise ?”.
But the Doctor was a brave man, “Let us first consider the bouquet and not a superstitious one. He had of wines, and its causes (that'll do done his best, too, to expose the for them). The bouquet or vinous folly of table-rapping, and of the perfume arises from the presence and stuffed hands and lazy tongs, and all evolvement of a substance called the rest of it. He did not, therecenanthic ether. (Here I must puz- fore, believe what he saw, but attribzle them a little ; the public like to uted it at once to a natural cause. be puzzled.) Alcohol, you know, All he said was, as he rose and ladies and gentlemen, is a hydrate pointed at the skeletons, these simple of the oxide of ethyl (HO+ 0 +C words of common sense: -H). Now, if we put-"
“ Diseased state of my retina." I am not prepared to say how un- Here the Polish ghost rose, and intelligible the learned Professor introduced his friend with a wave of might have become had not a certain the hand as “the Guy's Hospital strange shuffling stir that he heard, skeleton.” or fancied he heard, at this moment Now, I may as well here premise struck his attention. It was a sound that I am not myself answerable for like the walking of a very lame man, the exact truth of what the skeleton mixed up with the stir and drag of said, as the Doctor could never make a moving chain and a sort of bony up his mind afterwards whether the rattle, not at all pleasant at one skeletons actually spoke, or whether o'clock in the morning.
the replies apparently addressed to The sound came from the direc- him by those strange apparitions tion of the bookcase beyond the were not rather replies made by his stove, the little door of which, by- inner consciousness to his own questhe-by, at this moment suddenly tions. flew open with a jerk, as if fright “Binocular deception, occasioned ened. The Professor could not see by temporary vinous affection of the very well into the dark corner, for optic nerve, very common after dinthe bright globe of the gas-lamp ner.” shaded it from his eyes. When, At this moment the Polish ghost however, he turned his head slightly coughed in the impatient way in on one side, and thus got rid of what which people do who wish to edge (without a bull) might be perhaps a word in. called the overshadowing glare, he The Professor continued in a concaught sight of an extraordinary ob- temptuous tone, feeling his pulse deject-visible, materially visible, to liberately as he spoke, and making a his optic nerves, and to the eyes, note on his blotting-pad of its conwhich may be called their windows. dition “at fifteen minutes past one.
There was no doubt about it at all — Thursday, February 15th. he saw, or thought he saw, distinctly, “ The blood heated ; the nervous TWO SKELETONS, sitting and warm- system by some subtle cause thrown ing their shins in front of his stove off its balance, brain locally excited door. One must be his laboratory in the organ of caution—it's all that skeleton, for it had the well-known infernal champagne of Mrs. Fitzblack bullet-mark on the left temple; Jones's—that's it—a species of wakbut the other was a perfect stranger. ing nightmare.”