"Bring me this man," the caliph cried; the man From wants, from shames, from loveliest house-hold fears; Haroun, who felt that on a soul like this Go, and since gifts so move thee, take this gem, And hold the giver as thou deemest fit!" "Gifts!" cried the friend; he took, and holding it, High toward the heavens, as though to meet his star, Exclaimed, "This, too, I owe to thee, Jaffar!'' THE DIFFICULTY ABOUT THAT DOG. This was the cause of all the trouble:— LOST.-On the 10th instant, a small Terrier dog, with a brass collar upon his neck, and the tip of his tail gone. Answers to the name of "Jack." Five dollars reward will be given to the person who returns him to John Quill, No. 84 Rickety Row. I inserted the above in the Daily Flipflap, in the hope that I might recover the animal, to which I was much attached. The Flipflap goes to press at five A.M. At half past six I was awakened by a pull at my door-bell. I got up and opened the window. As I looked out I saw a man standing in my front yard with a mongrel dog tied to a rope. He gazed up and observed: "Hello! Are you the fellow who lost a dorg?" "Yes, I am." "Well, then, I've fetched him," said the man. I then explained to this wretched human being that my dog was a terrier, while his looked more like a log of NN wood with half the bark off, and propped up on four sticks, than a dog of any kind. "Well, ain't you a going to take him?" "I wouldn't have him as a gift. And I want you to move off now, or I'll call the police." "Now, I guess you think you're smart, don't you? I'd bust you over the jaw for five cents, I would. You don't know a good dorg when you see him, you don't," and he went out, after ripping the palings off the fence. In about a half-hour there was another ring at the bell. I went down. There was a man with six dogs, of a variety of breeds. "Wh-wh-which of 'em's him, b-b-boss," said this fellow, for he stuttered as if he would strangle on a small syllable. "Neither of them." "Y-you said his n-na-name was J-Jack, d-didn't you?" "Yes, that's it." "W-well then, wh-wh-what d'ye call th-that?" says he, as he sung out "Jack," and the whole six dogs looked up and wagged their tails like a lot of spavined oxen in fly time. "Why, I call it confounded nonsense to expect me to take the whole six dogs because they're named Jack. I don't want to start a sausage-mill, you understand. Mince-meat isn't in my line." "W-w-w-well, ain't you going to take him?" Certainly not; do you suppose I am a gibbering idiot?" W-w-w-well, you sh-shan't have him now if you want him. I w-w-wouldn't trust a decent d-d-dog with a m-m-man like you, anyway." And the six canines fell into line, and trotted down the street after him. I had not got fairly into the house before there was another ring. Seedy-looking man with a semi-decayed yellow dog. His ribs stuck out so, that he looked as if he had gorged himself with a spiral spring. "You advertise for a dog, I believe. Well, I caught him around here in the alley, after a desperate struggle. Fine dog, sir." "Well, I don't think he is. He looks to me as if he wasn't well. He is too ethereal for this world, young man, depend upon it." "Not at all, sir. Only shedding his coat, sir; all good dogs do at this time of the year. See that, sir," said this seedy Caucasian, holding the dog by the cuff of the neck. "See how he yelps; that's a sign of pluck; that dog would fight a million wild-cats, he would, and lick 'em too, sir." ', Get out!" I exclaimed; and the dog put his tail between his legs and ran for the gate. See that, sir? see that?" said the man, as he seized him, "that's a sign he's well trained; no raw dog behaves like that, I want you to know. Now 'spose you fork over that five." "Not much; I don't "You won't do it? want him, my friend." Well, then take him for seventyfive cents, and say no more about it. He's a valuable animal. You'll never get another such a chance." "I tell you I won't have him.” "Well, don't then," said the man, as he kicked the animal over on my flower-pots and broke three of them, while the brute dashed madly down the middle of the street. Just then a big ruffian in a slouched hat came up with a bull-dog, sprung in the knees, and lamenting the entire loss of his tail. When the ruffian spoke to him he wagged the whole of the last half of him. "I've brought that there dog," was the observation made by the ruffian, "and I'll finger them there stamps, I reckon." My friend," said I, "that is not my dog." "Yes, it is, though." "But it is not." "Don't I tell you it is? Didn't you say the tip of his tail was gone? Well, just look at him, will you?" "Well, I won't have him, anyhow." "You want to cheat me, do you? I'll fix you. S-sick him, Bull!" said this outrageous ruffian, as the dog flew at me, giving me barely time to get inside and shut the door on his frontispiece. I guess I squeezed the nose off of that dog. But the man cursed me about five minutes, and then flung a brick at the door and went away. In less than twenty minutes another ring. Sniall pockmarked man in a red shirt this time. And a speckled dog that looked as if he had been out without an umbrella when it was raining ink. Says this victim of the smail. pox; "You know that dog you advertised for. Well, here he is." "Oh, pshaw!" said I, "you know that isn't my dog." "Your name's Quill, ain't it?" Look at him! Look at Why, he'll sit there and "But he is not my dog." "And he's a bully watch-dog. him now, he's watching now! watch and watch, until he goes stone blind, he will. He'll watch all night if you only let him. You never see a watcher like him. I'll jest chain him up while you go in and get the V." "No, you needn't," said I. I'll blow his brains out if you don't take him away." Well, say, stranger, I'm a little strapped to-day; jest lend me five on him till morning, will you? I'll pay you to-morrow." See here, now, you just get out of here, or I'll take the hide off of you," I said, for I began to get excited, you know. 'Aw! you ain't worth a cent, you actually ain't," said the pock-marked man, as he walked off, after clipping the dog over the head with one of my fence-palings, and then putting his fingers up to his nose. Not a minute after, up comes a man with a mastiff as big as a small horse. 66 'Say, boss, I want that five," was all he remarked by way of introducing the subject. Well, you can't get it; and if you don't leave I'll call the police," I exclaimed in despair. "Watch him, Zip!" said the man, instantly; and the dog flew at me, threw. me down, and bit a slice of musele out of my leg and disfigured my nose for life. Then the assassin who owned him called him off and went away laughing. I didn't answer any more rings that day, but about four o'clock in the afternoon, I looked out of the second-story window, and the yard was full of men with all kinds of dogs, black dogs, white dogs, yellow dogs, variegated dogs, flea-bitten dogs, dogs with tails, dogs without tails, rat-terriers, bull-pups, poodles, fox-hounds, spaniels, Newfoundlands, mixed breeds, pointers, setters, and a multitude of other varieties, all growling, yelping, barking, snapping, and jumping about until there wasn't a flowerpot left in the place, and the noise was worse than a menagerie at meal-time. I haven't got my dog yet. I don't want him either. I don't care if I never see another dog between this and the silent grave. I only wish that all the dogs from here to Alaska were collected into a convention, and had hold of that man with the mastiff, that they might gnaw on him until he hadn't a morsel of meat left on his skeleton. That is all I want in the dog line in this world. NEW VERSION OF "A MAN'S A MAN FOR A' THAT." CHARLES MACKAY. "A MAN's a man," says Robert Burns, "For a' that and a' that ;" But though the song be clear and strong, It lacks a note for a' that. The lout who'd shirk his daily work, Or beg when he might earn his bread, If all who dine on homely fare Were true and brave, and a' that, |