SPEED. Marry. by these special marks; first, you have learn'd, like Sir Protheus, to wreath your arms like a male-content; to relish a love-song, like a Robin-red-breast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to figh like a school-boy that had lost his A, B, C; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laugh'd, to crow like a cock; when you walk'd, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you look'd sadly, it was for want of money: and now you are metamorphos'd with a mistress, that, when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master. VAL. Are all these things perceiv'd in me? SPEED. They are all perceiv'd without ye. VAL. Without me? they cannot.

SPEED. Without you? nay, that's certain: for without you were so simple, none else would: But you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you, and shine through you like the water in an urinal; that not an eye that fees you, but is a physician to comment on your malady. VAL. But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia? SPEED. She, that you gaze on so as she sits at supper? VAL. Hast thou observ'd that? even she I mean:

SPEED. Why, Sir, I know her not.

VAL. Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet know'st her not!

SPEED. Is she not hard-favour'd, Sir?
VAL. Not so fair, boy, as well favour'd
SPEED. Sir, I know that well enough.
VAL. What dost thou know?

SPEED. That she is not so fair, as of you well-favour'd VAL. I mean that her beauty is exquifite,

But her favour infinite.

SPEED. That's because the one is painted, and the other out of all count.

VAL. How painted? and how out of count?

SPEED. Marry, Sir, so painted to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty..

VAL. How esteem'st thou me? I account of her beauty. SPEED. You never saw her since she was deform'd.

VAL. How long hath the been deform'd?

SPEED. Ever since you lov'd her.

VAL. I have lov'd her, ever since I saw hers

And still I see her beautiful.

SPEED. If you love her, you cannot see hera
VAL. Why?

SPEED. Because love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes, or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have, when you chid at Sir Protheus for going ungarter'd! VAL. What should I see then?

SPEED. Your own present folly, and her passing deformity: For he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose; and you, being in love, cannot fee to put on your hofe.

VAL. Belike, boy, then you are in love: for last morn ing you could not see to wipe my shoes,

SPEED, True, Sir, I was in love with my bed; I thank you, you swing'd me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.

VAL. In conclusion, I stand affected to her.

SPEED. I would you were fet, so your affection would VAL. Last night she injoin'd me to write some lines to

one she loves.

SPEED. And have you?

VAL. I have.

SPEED. Are they not lamely writ?

VAL. No, boy, but as well as I can do them:

Peace, here she comes.

Enter Silvia.

SPEED. Oh excellent motion! Oh exceeding puppet! Now will he interpret to her.

VAL. Madam and mistress, a thousand good morrows. SPEED. Oh! 'give ye good ev'n; here's a million of man

ners.

SIL. Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
SPEED. He should give her interest; and she gives it him.
VAL. As you injoin'd me, I have writ your letter,

Unto the fecret, nameless, friend of yours;
Which I was much unwilling to proceed in,

But for my duty to your ladyship.

SIL. I thank you, gentle servant; 'tis very clerkly done. VAL. Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off:

For being ignorant to whom it goes,

I writ at random, very doubtfully.

SIL. Perchance, you think too much of so much pains? VAL. No, madam, so it steed you, I will write, Please you command, a thousand times as much. And yet

SIL. A pretty period; well, I guess the sequel;

And yet I will not name it; and yet I care not;
And yet take this again; and yet I thank you;

Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.

SPEED. And yet you will; and yet, another yet. [Afide. VOL. I,

N

VAL. What means your ladyship? do you not like it?
SIL. Yes, yes, the lines are very quaintly writ;

But since unwillingly, take them again;

Nay, take them.

VAL. Madam, they are for you.

SIL. Ay, ay; you writ them, Sir, at my request; But I will none of them; they are for you:

I would have had them writ more movingly.

VAL. Please you, I'll write your ladyship another.
SIL. And when it's writ, for my fake read it over;

And if it please you, fo; if not, why so.

VAL. If it please me, madam, what then?

SIL. Why if it please you, take it for your labour;

And fo good morrow, servant.

SPEED. O jest unfeen, inscrutable, invisible,

[Exit.

As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple!

My master sues to her, and she hath taught her suitor,

He being her pupil, to become her tutor :

O excellent device! was there ever heard a better?

That my master, being the scribe, to himself should write

the letter?

VAL. How now, Sir, what are you reasoning with yourfelf?

SPEED. Nay, I was rhiming; 'tis you that have the reafon.
VAL. To do what?

SPEED. To be a spokesman from madam Silvia.

VAL. To whom?

SPEED. To yourself; why, she wooes you by a figure.

VAL. What figure?

SPEED. By a letter, I should say.

VAL. Why, the hath not writ to me?

SPEED. What need the,

When she hath made you write to yourself?

Why, do you not perceive the jeft?

VAL. No, believe me.

SPERD. No believing you, indeed, Sir: but did you per ceive her earnest?

VAL. She gave me none, except an angry word.

SPEED. Why, she hath given you a letter.

.VAL. That's the letter I writ to her friend.

SPEED. And that letter hath the deliver'd, and there's an

end.

VAL. I would it were no worse.

SPEED. I'll warrant you, 'tis as well.

"For often have you writ to her, and she in modesty, "Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply; "Or fearing elfe fome messenger, that might her mind dif

"Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her

"lover."

All this I speak in print, for in print I found it.

Why muse you, Sir? 'tis dinner time.

VAL. I have din'd.

SPEED. Ay, but hearken, Sir: the' the Cameleon love can feed on the air, I am one that am nourish'd by my victuals, and would fain have meat: Oh be not like your mistress;

1

be moved, be moved.

[Exeunt.

SCENE II.

Changes to Julia's house at Verona.

Enter Protheus and Julia.

PRO. Have patience, gentle Julia.

JUL. I must, where is no remedy.