custom of most writers who sail near the bold Terence swaggering down STEPHEN GWYNN. From Temple Bar. A WILD DRIVE IN IRELAND. I. "It's a year at least since I saw yeand where have ye been hiding yourself all this time? And when will ye dine with me at the club? Name your own night, me dear fellow — any night ye like would to-night suit ye? At eight sharp? There'll be half-a-dozen of us, and all of us friends, and what more could any man want?" went a transformation as sudden and complete as a gorgeous firework when the combustibles are exhausted. Dawson excused himself, pleading a previous engagement, and after congratulating him on his recent good fortune, asked if it would be convenient for him to settle that little matter of the outstanding tenner. Terence's jaw SOME of you must surely know Ter-fell, and his whole demeanor underence O'Callaghan, and those of you that do will agree with me that we could better spare a better man, as the saying is, and join in hoping that his "Me dear fellow, me dear friend, shadow may never grow less. Good- why didn't ye ask me yesterday? Or natured in every sense of the word, even this morning? Then I could humorous, jovial, and hospitable, he have done it for ye; now it's imposrealizes the achievement in which so sible. I parted with the last sovereign many of his compatriots fail, of being no later than ten minutes ago at the as good a fellow as he seems. His top of this very street, and it's on generosity is proverbial; and if he is tick I'll have to go for the dinner this open to the imputation of occasional night. But ye needn't be afraid I'll reluctance to meet the just demands of forget it, for it's downright sorry I am his creditors, he atones for it by an to disappoint ye, and I think I can equal readiness to share his money, promise within a week, or ten days at when he is in funds, with any friend the latest, if that'll do " and shakwho may be in need of it. It was only ing the crestfallen Dawson by the hand, the other day that I heard of a double- he swaggered on down the street. barrelled incident which comically Later in the afternoon Dawson saw illustrates both sides of his character him on the steps of his club, the in this respect. centre of a group whom he was enter A friend of mine, Dawson by name, taining with some extravagant sally or having learnt that Terence had landed | other, and obviously on the very best a clear £300 over an outsider, thought of terms with himself. A happy init would be a good opportunity to re-spiration struck him: he brushed coup a tenner which he had lent him five months before on the assurance that it should be repaid "within ten days at the very latest." He espied hastily past, quickly turned, and shot the beaming Irishman with, "Can you lend me £10, Terence?" Terence's hand was deep in his pocket on the instant, and pulling out a | black books the longest day ye live large roll of notesso that's a bargain now ?” "Is it a tenner? With all the pleasure in life, me dear friend," he said in a breath. "Five and five is ten," picking out two £5 notes and thrusting them into Dawson's hand; but are ye sure ten'll do ? Hadn't ye better make it twenty while ye're about it? There's plenty more where that came from, and shure ye're heartily welcome to the half of what I have." Dawson thanked him suitably, but said a tenner was all he wanted, and hurried off before it dawned on Terence how he had been tricked into paying his debt. Well, Terence and I are friends of many years' standing now, and he has often asked me to stay with him at his place in the old country, but one thing or another always prevented my availing myself of his hospitality until this time last year. The previous fifth of November, which is the anniversary of the day on which he first saw the light, I had entertained him at dinner; and over our postprandial cigar and whiskey and soda, he was so pressing in his invitation to me to come over and spend my Christmas at "The Castle' (pronounced "Cassel"), and so evidently sincere in his desire that I should do so, that I consented. "Then ye'll come on Christmas eve in time for dinner. Ye shall have the heartiest welcome in all Ireland, and ye'll stay over Christmas, and maybe till the New Year, which will be better still; and I'll give ye a reception that'll astonish ye, and the best cock shooting, though I say it who shouldn't, that ever ye've had in the whole of your life. There's one wood, which Dan writes me word he'd be scared to go into for fear of losing an eye with their bills. So give me your hand on that; and ye needn't bother to write or anything, for I'll be expecting ye and counting the hours till ye come. Only if ye're dead or dying, ye might send me a telegram, so that I may know ye can't come. But if ye play me false, me dearest friend, it's not me dear friend any longer ye'll be, but in me THE following 24th December saw me on board the Milford and Waterford packet, bound for the latter port en route to the Castle (Cassel) my friend Terence's residence, which is situated in a wild part of the county of Tipperary. I am a bad sailor, and in the whole course of a wide and unfortunate experience I never remember to have suffered so dreadfully from seasickness. Before we left Milford, a fellow-passenger, an Irish ecclesiastic of most affable and prepossessing manners, prevailed on me to try an unfailing antidote. "The sea promises to be rough," he said, "but if you do as I advise you, I will guarantee that you'll be no more seasick than if it were as smooth as a mill-pond. Just eat a hearty meal, and drink with it as much Guinness's stout as ever you can hold. Then you will lie down and go asleep, and it's odds but what when you wake you'll be safe in Waterford Harbor." I followed his advice to the letter; but, though I do not doubt that it was given in good faith, it did not turn out happily for me. True, that very soon after the meal, which I consumed in strict accordance with my worthy mentor's directions, I succeeded in falling asleep, and on waking found that we were in smooth water. So far so good, except that I also found that I had a racking headache, which was a feature in the programme that I had not been led to expect. But worse remained behind; for while I was mentally debating which might be the graver evil, seasickness or an aggravated headache, I suddenly realized that I had an ample opportunity of comparing them both, side by side, so to speak, for the vessel began to pitch, and roll, and toss, and jump, and heave, and wrig gle, and perform every combination of those aquatic gymnastics for which the Irish Sea affords such unrivalled facilities. It subsequently transpired that while I slept, the captain had put out, and found the weather so bad, that after some hours he had been obliged to put back; and that on my waking he was just beginning for the second time to attempt to cross to the other side. Over the remainder of that passage we will, if you please, draw a veil. "I didn't say any one had stolen my bag," I interposed; "I only said "Did ye, or did ye not tell me your bag was stolen, or lost, which is the same thing anny way ?" "I told you that I saw my bag put into the van at Waterford, and that it's not here now." "Which bag?" queried the porter. "If it was in the van, it's in the van it must be," announced the stationmaster, "unless," he added, by way of afterthought, "it's been taken out." 66 Shure, that's what I've bin after saying to the gintleman meself, and I tould him that it was meself that took all the luggage out of the van, and the divil a sign of a bag there was in it, and that's why he's been saying that I stole his bag." "I have told you a hundred times "I began, with pardonable irritation at his persistent misrepresentation. Arrived at length, a length which seemed interminable, at Waterford, I thought it well to telegraph to my friend Terence, lest in the excitement of the festivities of the season he might forget to send his 'bus to meet me at Ballylogue, the station at which you get out for the "Cassel." He prides himself on having an excellent memory, and the boast, "I never remember to have ever forgotten anything in all me life," is as frequent on his lips as "I'd have ye to know, sir, that I've "Deed, an' ye have, and it's five forgotten a dashed sight more about it hundred times too often, and what's than ye ever knew, sir." Neverthe-more, it's not the truth neither, but far less, I deemed it prudent, if only by from it," replied the porter, who also excess of precaution, to wire : "Ar-was fast losing his temper without any rive Ballylogue 4.10. Send 'bus, grey reason that I could sce. pair." In pressing his invitation on me he had promised, amongst other inducements, that I should have his 'bus and pair of greys to tool me over. Here the station-master closed the discussion by saying with an air of pleased discovery and conviction : "Tim, the gintleman 'ull be wantin' his bag.' "That's thrue, sorr," assented the porter, "but it's not here it is." "Then," rejoined his superior, with an air of final decision, "the bag must be found." "But where will it be found, sorr," queried the porter, "when it isn't there?" At this juncture I descried an object on the opposite platform, which, as well as I could make out in the dim light, resembled my missing bag, and I mentioned the fact to the two officials. "It's not your bag that is at all," was the porter's answer, "for I put that thrunk on that platform meself." "Your bag cannot be on that platform, sorr," observed the station-master, "for it's the wrong platform it 'ud be, and you coming from Waterford." 66 If you would kindly bring it here, we might see," I mildly suggested. "And how could I be thormentin' other people's luggage?" asked the porter, adding by way of clincher, "" more be token at this time o' night too." "Your bag cannot be on that platform," said the station-master, and he walked away, having apparently exhausted the subject to his own satisfaction, and shut himself into his room. Fearful of keeping the pair of greys standing longer, I crossed the liue myself, found, as I had expected, that the object on the other side was my Gladstone bag, and returned with it in my hand. "This is my bag," I said to the porter in a tone of studied moderation, “and now if you will bring the luggage along, we will go to the 'bus." "It's not a bag at all," was his reply, "it's a thrunk, and if ye'd asked for your thrunk I'd hey known, and ye could hev had it at onst- and what 'bus 'ud ye be plased to be going to ?" "Isn't there a 'bus waiting for me here outside? A 'bus with a pair of greys, belonging to Mr. O'Callaghan of the Castle?" of ignorance, for he assured me it was months since he had seen 66 even the sign of a 'bus in them parts.". My position was now uncomfortable in the extreme. The night had fallen, it was very dark, chill, and blustering, and it had begun to rain. Clearly I should have a disagreeable drive of it, : and my friend Terence of the unim-.. peachable memory having forgotten for some reason or other, the excellence of which I knew he would not have the slightest difficulty in demonstrating by and by, to send his 'bus, I should have to fall back on some local vehicle, which as likely as not would prove to be no better than an outside car. My: experience of the Irish Sea had not done much to fit me for a drenching on a bitterly cold night; and altogether my feelings towards the magnificent Terence were anything but charitable. "And how on earth am I to get on, as the 'bus hasn't come?" I asked the station-master, who, now that I was in a difficulty for which his department could in no wise be held responsible, had begun to assume a much more. friendly attitude, and to take a personal interest in my movements. "Indade, thin, yer houor, it's meself that doesn't know, unless yer honor. walks." "The sorra a 'bus I've seen for a fortnight or more -nor a pair of grey harses rayther, if that's what ye mane. Ye're shure," he went on with a twinkle, "it's a 'bus ye do mane this time?" My misdescription of my bag evidently still rankled in his mind; a man who could call a Gladstone bag a bag might obviously, in his opinion, be guilty of misusing even such a plain “'Deed, and it is, whichever side ye word as 'bus. "If it's a 'bus, maybe goes to it," was the enigmatic reply, Mr. Murphy" (the station - master) and four sound miles beyant, and an"will know; I'll go an' ask him; if other mile up the lane to the back of anny one will have it, it's himself," he that." added with that proneness, so common amongst Irishmen of his class, and generally so wholly unwarranted by fact, to invest third parties with desir-spot." able or convenient attributes. But it "Then I can't possibly walk it. proved on inquiry that Mr. Murphy knew no more about the 'bus than his subordinate; indeed, he even outran that functionary in his negative wealth "And how far may it be to the Castle?" "The Cassel, the Cassel-indade, I hardly know, not rightly, an' I wouldn't like to be desaving yer honor. Tim, how far would the Cassel be, now ? Isn't it right the other side of Rath│uar-ra ? " "Then, yer honor, the Cassel is not one yard less than fourteen miles, and most of thim long ones, from this very Can't I hire a trap of some sort here? "Deed, then, yer honor, I'd be afraid that's what ye cannot do; there did used to be kyars and coaches and again soon enough," was the ambiguivery sort of convayniance, but that ous rejoinder; "niver fear but Dan was before the railroad came, bad luck knows how to manage him - he'll jist to it !" let him run to the fut of the hill, and there he'll turn him, unless the reins break, and then he'll go all quiet and aisy into the ditch." Here the porter, who, like the goodhumored fellow he was when he wasn't in the wrong, and consequently angry, had by this time forgiven me for his own blunder and for what I had never said, suggested that possibly Dan Logan might come to the rescue. "He has but the one harse," objected the station-master, "an' he was away yisterday at Cock-na-luish, and at Larry Hogan's wake all the night, and he didn't git home till this afthernoon, and it's tired he'll be, an' his baste too, if not dhrunk. Anyhow, he'd be wantin' good pay for the job." "Well, it's aisy to run an' ask him," said the now friendly porter, and suiting the action to the word, disappeared at a run in the darkness. A very cheering description of a thoroughly safe horse and driver! I was half wishing that the reins might break, and the whole concern be landed "quiet and aisy" in the ditch, so as to prevent my entrusting myself to its tender mercies, when the performance of a few minutes before was repeated in the reverse direction, with the exception that this time the driver succeeded in pulling up opposite the station. "Bedad, that's the way to do it, yer honor," cried Dan Logan, as he half jumped, half rolled on to the ground; "and it's yerself that'll be wantin' to After about a quarter of an hour ago to the Cassel?" wild "hurroosh" was heard in the dis- "Ye-es," I answered, with no retance; this was succeeded by the noise sponding enthusiasm, "if you think of horse's feet clattering in most irreg-your horse can take me so far." ular cadence, and then there emerged "Is it my harse? An' why wouldn't from the gloom a very high, cadaver-he, when he knows ivery inch of the ous, cock-throppled white horse, with way? Shure there isn't a hill between a very low outside car bumping and this and there that he hasn't galloped jumping behind him, on one side of down many and many's the time." which Tim was crouching, while the driver, on the other, held on by the reins and stamped his feet on the footboard. With a rush which all but ended in a fall, they flashed past the side of the station, and were lost in the night almost as soon as they had ap-his head like a giraffe, and persistently peared. "That's a wonderful harse," observed the station-master, by way of explaining this manœuvre; "his owner wouldn't have called the lord-liftinant his cousin when he was young-he was the most illigant canal-lepper that iver was dropped, and sorra a one could see which way he went in the steeplechases." I looked at the brute's fore legs, and if I know anything about a horse's legs, it would be difficult to find an animal whom it more urgently behoved to take heed unto his ways; which was perhaps the reason why he carried stared at the stars. Assuredly the inability mentioned by Mr. Murphy, to see which way he was going, was not confined to the onlookers. "Ye'll not be findin' any fault wi' that harse?" his driver went on, as I remained silent. Maybe yer honor'll be thinkin' he hasn't bone enough ?" "More bone than blood perhaps," I suggested, in the weak hope of raising It occurred to me that there was a myself in his estimation by impressing similar difficulty now that he was en-him with my knowledge of horseflesh. gaged in the humbler role of drawing "Is it blood, ye mane?" he almost a car, and I said something to that screamed. Well, then, I'll tell ye effect. That's the bloodiest harse "Oh! yer honor'll see him back in all Oireland. It's clane thorough what it is. |