From Once a Week.

AN ELECTROTYPE WEDDING.

EVERYBODY has heard, or should have heard, of the kindly ritual called the" Golden Wedding," and of the more frequently performed ceremonial known as the "Silver Wedding." But if any one does not comprehend the meaning of these graceful observances, or the poetry which can be made to surround them, let him procure Miss Frederica Bremer's novel, "The Neighbors," and, when he has read it, let him send a well-expressed and becoming letter of thanks to the writer of these lines, for their having indicated a new pleasure.

The "Golden and Silver Weddings" are foreign inventions. Perhaps their meaning is more thoroughly understood in England than many smart persons imagine-perhaps the observances themselves, divested of the foreign ceremonial, are not neglected in happy old homes. But the folks who have heart for such things do not advertise their happiness, and in these days, unless a festival forms the subject of a penny-a-lining paragraph, it is not taken into account by many observers of national peculiarities. I do not think that an English husband and wife who, having shared the sorrows and joys of half a-century, and with eyes a little dimmed by years, and a little by the overflowing of affectionate hearts, should revert to the memory of their bridal day, and with thankfulness, and some mingling of smiles and tears, should try to recall its incidents, amid a circle of loving children and grandchildren, would much care to read in the suburban journal that infests their neighborhood a paragraph like this :

ornaments, from the world-famous establishment of Messrs. Flaunter and Gingle, and under a spacious tent, erected expressly by Mr. Paull, was laid out a handsome collation, at which, sooth to say, the troops of friends' who assembled were nothing loath to put in an early appearance, and to refresh the inner man with the delicacies so hospitably provided. When enjoyment had waited on appetite, and, let us hope, health on both, an old friend of the family, a gentleman resiRoad, Bermondsey, rose to propose the toast of the day, it is needless for us to add, the United Healths of Mr. and Mrs. Parr. The orator's speech was all that could possibly be desired, and if its touching pathos occasionally brought tears into the bright eyes speedily dissipated by the sparkling wit with of many a fair listener, melancholy was which the speaker relieved his discourse. The toast was honored with the most heartfelt enthusiasm. Mr. Parr, in returning thanks, was much affected, etc. etc."

dent not a hundred miles from Araminta

No, a real Golden Wedding is held without the aid of our friend with the fluent pen. May many and many such a wedding, and en attendant (as he would write) many and many a Silver one be celebrated by those who are now contributing interesting paragraphs to the first column of the Times And if they have chosen well, and time is kind to them, there is no reason why the bride and bridegrooms of this our November should not join affectionate hands in November, 1886, and even November, 1911, and on every day in the meantime.

But as it is the fashion of the day to use imitations in lieu of realities, as Mr. **** is accepted as a divine, and Mr. **** as a poet, and Mr. **** as a critic, and Lord **** as a statesman (it is of no use to count these "A GOLDEN WEDDING.-Yesterday we stars, I don't mean anybody in particular, had the distinguished pleasure of witnessing, and I hope I am too great a Sham myself or assisting at,' as our lively neighbors on to wish to give offence), and as we have false the other side of the channel would say, one shirt fronts and paper collars, and as we dye of those interesting festivities which, in the words of the immortal bard of Avon, 'cause our wigs, and smile on everybody whom we our youth to be renewed like the eagle.' detest, and pretend to feel genial at ChristThe locus in quo, if the ladies will forgive mas, and call on friends when we know they us for quoting from a classical author, was are out, and cordially thank bores for sendthe delightful residence of Methusaleh Parr, ing us their bad books, and rave about the Esquire, and known as Harmony Lodge, opera which we would give a guinea not to bration of the fiftieth anniversary of his wed- 80 to, and manoeuvre for cards entitling us ding with the amiable and accomplished lady to be crushed on the third step from the hall who has been his partner during the moiety when Mrs. St. Bullion is At Home, and send of a century. The gardens of the lodge were sovereigns to charities whose secretary has tastefully decorated with garlands, and other the sense to be very careful in advertising

Wandsworth. The occasion was the cele

pagne), and so they are going to keep an Electrotype Wedding.

Lorenzo, to discriminate is just, and, Lorenzo, or whatever your name is, my valued and intimate friend, if you are going to laugh in the wrong place, or, indeed, to laugh at all on a sacred and touching occasion like this, you had better go away. Because, though the Veneers ask me to their parties, inasmuch as I am a pleasing man and know some Lords, I am not strong enough with them to run any risks. And I love them, and should be sorry to lose the two good dinners which Veneer gives during the season

his receipts, and offer mugs and medals to Volunteer shots, now that the shooting is so capitally reported, and stay in London when we would rather go to the sea, and go to Brighton when we would rather stay in London, and deliver lectures when we have nothing to say, and applaud lectures when the teacher has nothing to teach, and rejoice when Biggings, whom we hate, comes into a legacy, which we expected, and do all the rest of the wise and sincere things which wise and sincere cynics (like myself) think it . caustic and clever to enumerate,-I say, if we do all this, why should we not borrow the Golden Wedding notion, but adapt it to the others I am unfortunate enough to be the tone of the society that comports itself as unable to accept. So behave yourself propabove depicted? It would only be adding erly, and I will introduce you to pretty Miss another sham to a very long list, and I think Flora Veneer, but don't lose your heart, bethe addition might be rather a pleasant one. cause you have no money, and entre nous, Silver and gold have we none, but we may Miss Flora will have none. I know that as go in for Electrotype. Joseph Surface has epi- a family friend and in confidence, mind, but grammatized upon the value " of sentimental young Archibald Rollestone, who is spooniFrench plate," and Joseph was a wise man, fying there, thinks she will have £10,000, though Sheridan, who was a witty man, and would have a right to think so if the thought it necessary, for theatrical purposes, City thought better of Madagascar Central to make him exhibit himself, in the hour of Convertibles. Archy Rollestone is awfully trial, as such an ass as the real Mr. Surface hard up, and his cousin Walter Rollestone, never would have proved. Let us avail our- who comes here, knows all about it, and if it selves of his hint, I say, and electrotype the were not that of course cousinly affection cominteresting ceremonial so charmingly de- pels him to keep the secret, Walter could setscribed by Miss Bremer. Who will come tle Archy's business with one shrug. There with me to an Electrotype Wedding? I is nothing serious, therefore, and you may can take you, but you must dress yourself go and flirt if you like, but remember Madvery nicely. No studs? Ah, but you must agascar. It is an island in the Indian ocean, get some beautiful studs, or I cannot think and when there are silver mines in it, and of introducing you, and those sleeve links they pay, Lacquerby Veneer will be a rich are very paltry. Here is the Burlington Ar- man, if he has not been obliged to pawn cade, and here are five shillings for you. A his shares in the meantime. gentleman must wear jewelry; how else is he to be distinguished from the lower orders? Just in time, I declare. Lunch at three, that noble-looking butler said. Butler, my dear boy, he is as much our friend Lacquerby Veneer's butler, as you are, but he is very well got up, and wears a benevolent smile, specially invented for the day-generally he is austerely polite, while sober. Attention to trifles is sneered at by fools, but is the evi-ing on that jewelry, becsuse he belongs to dence of true art. Let us go up-stairs. a Testimonial Association-why, of course What a nice party, and, like the butler who is not a butler, they have all put on a genial, wedding-day smile. Mr. and Mrs. Lacquerby Veneer were married this day twenty-five years (it was in 1836; do the sum now, it may not be so easy after cham

But here comes papa, rubbing his white hands gently. Handsome rings, Lorenzo, and none of your Burlington Arcade rubbish, but real. They were nearly all Testimonials, and that massive gold, real gold chain was a testimonial. He is a good man? Why, of course he is. Do you think I would bring you to the house of any but a good man? But his goodness has no exact bear

it's secret, but I know it as a family friend, and in confidence, mind-and the members present one another with elegant things, and make elegant speeches-you should have seen Veneer cry when they gave him that watch, and sob out that every beat of his

heart was responsive to its ticking. He is a | a bomb is. Their father does, I believe. Now good-looking man; very, I think. Virtue then, let us speak to Mrs. Lacquerby, if we can get near her; we ought to have done so at first, but we must tell her that we vainly tried to break into the circle of congratulations.

and goodness keep the countenance pleasant, and he is only fifty, at least he says so, though I know somebody who heard him incautiously mention that he was taken as a boy to see Mr. Pitt's funeral, and Pitt died-of course You don't like her, Signor? Will you hold you young fellows don't know when, but it your tongue? You are bound to like her, was in 1805, and Lacky Veneer must have you are going to have a capital lunch at her been five years old then, if he was taken to table presently. Why don't you like her? see a funeral. But perhaps he told a story, Her voice is false, and her smile is false, and or perhaps he was tipsy, and did not know she is a humbug. Very rude observations, what he was saying; let us be charitable. Signor, and, as I have before had occasion He does not look much more than fifty, does to remark, you ought to be charitable. She he? O, never mind the crow's feet and the always detested Veneer, Signor, and now she hard lines; is that the way to look at a man despises him. She was made to marry him, on his wedding-day? Be charitable, Lorenzo, instead of a young surgeon in the army, I tell you; I dare say you will have hard lines whom she liked, and had to give up because and crow's feet when you have been a hum- Lacquerby Veneer was a bouncing, bumpbug for thirty or forty years, like Mr. Lac- tious man, who made her parents think she querby. Let me introduce you. Signor was marrying Golconda, with California for Lorenzo Mr. Veneer. Only too happy, my a country-seat. But she might have learned dear Mr. Veneer, to be the humble means of to like him,-almost any woman can be made making two gentlemen acquainted who ought to like almost any man, unless the man is an to know one another. But you are an im- utter humbug. Then she gets to despise him, postor, Lacquerby, and Mrs. Lacquerby and that is not so well. She might even there, is another. Twenty-five years-don't have borne that, if his humbug had been a talk such nonsense to us; ten, or if you in- success, and he had been a good fellow with sist upon it, twelve, not an hour more. Nei- it. But it was not. He has only pretended ther of you looks it, and so do not attempt to succeed, and has, all his life, been strugfor the first time in your life, to deceive your gling to keep up appearances. She ought friends. Ha ha! Meet again below? to have helped him! Of course she ought, Certainly, I trust so, ha! ha! Yes, that is and did, although his temper was brutal, and Sir Habakkuk Zephaniah; pray go and he treated her with vulgar coarseness. speak to him, Mr. Veneer. We'll meet again did help him, and is helping him now, and below. that's the reason she speaks in that speech, and smiles with that smile. She has had to keep the peace with Lacquerby Veneer for five-and-twenty years, and how was she to avoid becoming a humbug, poor thing! You are an uncharitable Italian, Signor, and deserved to be blown out of the bomb. But wait until you have had your lunch, and then you may think better of her.

I don't know what he means, Lorenzo, but I mean in the dining-ro -room. Is he not a pleasant fellow? Why did I call you Signor? Because Lorenzo is a ridiculous name, and I am not going to be ridiculous. Who gave you that name? I did. Very well, then, I have a right to give you another. Besides, I have made you an Italian, and the girls will be delighted to know you; only keep up the character, and say and look things which you would not dare to say and look as an Englishman-they wont mind. I'll say you were private secretary to the Queen of Naples, and dismissed because the King was jealous of your good looks, and would have served you Rizzio fashion, only that you hid yourself in a bomb, and were shot into the bay. They'll believe anything a foreigner tells them. Besides they don't know what

She

Want to go? Nonsense. You must remain, Lorenzo-do you wish to get me into a scrape, when I have told you, in all the sacred confidence of friendship, that I want to stand well with the Veneers? Besides, I should like to introduce you to Miss Flora. You don't like the look she is giving young Rollestone. Stuff-go and make her give the same sort of look to you, or a kinder. She will, on small provocation, for she is an awful flirt. Don't be afraid of the family-if Flora takes

and yet at the moment he half believes that he is not half a bad fellow. Next comes Sir Habbakuk Zephaniah with Miss FloraRollestone offered his arm, but she took the city knight-Archy,s cousin has peached, that's clear. Sir Habbakuk is not an elegant person, and his aspirates are capricious -what's that he is saying about leaving his at in the awl? but if he can't put in an H in the right place, he can a young fellow who wants a situation, and he is here because Charley must be taken care of. The Reverend Timius Mewler follows with Miss Isabella, but that's nothing, Signor, if you are Isabellically inclined; the reverend man knows all about the family, and has his eye elsewhere. Mr. Whistleton and Mrs. Bob Parry-widow and widower-and she'd have him if she could, but she can't, because he knew poor Bob Parry, and the home tyranny suffered by him, and that another friend, Clover (here he comes, making Miss Dolmantle laugh wickedly), said that if Parry took laudanum, the verdict would be Justifiable Parrycide. Clover and Miss Dolly,

you under her wing it will be all right-she the other matrons and the maidens, as she has a deuce of a temper, and is the only goes out. He does not act nearly so well, member of the household of whom her father is thoroughly afraid. She scratches the gilt off the gingerbread, sans cérémonie, I can tell you, and when he puts her monkey up, that excitable quadrumane bites. You don't care about knowing her. Well, then, look at her sister, the mild beauty, Miss Isabella. Are you religious-I hope you are, Lorenzo -well, by a curious coincidence, so is she. You should hear the disturbance she makes, if her brother Charley there dares to bring out "Bell's Life" on a Sunday, and how she explains to him that he is a heathen without hope in this world or the next, and the still greater disturbance she makes if the carriage is not ready to take her off to afternoon service at S. Polycarp's. You do not like her either? Here, speak to Charley Veneer as he passes. They call him a good fellow, but his father does not think him so, simply because the young fellow has elegant tastes, will not do anything, and spends eight times his allowance. Fathers have flinty hearts. Well, Charles, a great day for the family. Let me introduce my friend, Signor Lorenzo. Ha ha! very good indeed, aforesaid—that is a pretty girl, Signor, and Charley. What did he say, Signor. I laughed, but didn't catch it? Asked if you were any relation to Lorenzo de Medicine. Ha! ha! Not a bad shot for a young fellow who reads "Bell's Life." Resides, it showed a readiness to be friendly. When good feeling prompts the joke a man is heartless indeed who criticizes it-remember that sentiment; it will be very useful if you ever drop to be a freemason or churchwarden, or anything in the after-dinner line.

A bustle, signifying that we are to descend. Let a good many of the party go ahead, and then we shall get near the door, and can escape when you will. Dear, dear, how touching! See, Signor. Besause it is a weddingday observance, Mr. Lacquerby Veneer takes Mrs. Lacquerby Veneer under his arm, and down they go together, like bridegroom and bride, and will sit side by side I bet, just as they did on the day in 1836, when the girl who had been Rosa Clare early that morning hated James Veneer (the Lacquerby prefix came later, to obliterate some recollections of a composition with creditors), and did not despise him as Rosa Veneer now does. Yet there is a gracious, proud, matronly look at

Clover might do worse, and will, for it's his way. Don't say red hair, at least not until she has gone by, for she is a vain little thing, and likes to get men into squabbles about her. Next comes Mr. Katter Feltoe, the great traveller (at least he says he has travelled a great deal, but Professor Knowing doesn't believe a word about those web-footed bisons which Mr. K. F. discovered in Mesopotamia), and he is telling some traveller's story to handsome, large, white, stupid Mrs. Shoulders, who does not care a farthing about it, and does not know whether the Lebanon is in Spain or Seringapatam, but very much wants to get near Mrs. Bob Parry to see whether that noble lace is what it looks. Now we'll go down, as all the good places will be filled up, my Lorenzo.

Have you not had a good lunch, Italian, and is not the table elegant, with its plate, and its flowers, and its glass, and all the pretty things upon it? And the ladies are dressed very well, and laugh very pleasantly, do they not? And the wine is very goodnow, don't be a humbug, for I have seen you take four glasses of champagne. I knew all would be done well, and there sits Rosa

Veneer by the side of her lord-they take | reminiscences. I keep that for cards of inwine together affably enough (yes, knock vitation to the banquets of more awful swells the table, Signor, we all will. Ah! bravo! than Veneer. Come along. brava! that's right), and, perhaps, she is not thinking of the day when he threw the glass of wine in her face, and swore at her, or why. Do you see what is before them ? A wedding-cake, and he puts the knife into her hand that she may cut the first piece how courteously he hands it. I wonder whether that is the knife they say he threatened to throw at her on her birthday, eleven years back-pass me that bottle, I want to bow to her. Ha! now for some oratory. Who's the friend of the family?

Sir Habbakuk did it pretty well, Signor, didn't he? Talked about the heart too much, considering that he dropped two out of the five letters, and he should not have thrown his eyes on the ham, just as he spoke of hambition. But it was all very well, and I suppose they have nailed him for Master Charley, by that allusion to the appiness of promoting the hupward path of your friend's children. I rather like Sir Habbakuk Zephaniah, and if he asks me to dinner I shall go.

And now for the reply. Up riseth James Lacquerby Veneer. Not bad, the struggle to speak-not bad, the hydraulic business; can you see whether there is really water there ?-touched his eyes slily with a drop of champagne, perhaps an artist is known in trifles, as I have said.

Spoke well-thanks, I have a light-spoke well? Certainly. Very neat indeed. I suspect the Reverend Mewler gave him some hints. "Five-and-twenty years tossing on the stormy ocean of life, yet ever anchored to the hearthstone of a happy home. Would gladly have spared his wife all the troubles, and have only shared the joys with her, but she was a strict arithmetician, and insisted on the fulfilment of her bargain. Ever the first she was to see the haven of hope, but she never allowed the ship to drift. Wished every man such a wife, and had provided two such wives for two happy men, whenever they should descend from the skies and claim them. If his son were but half as fortunate as himself, he should feel his own happiness doubled. Life was not in the sear and yellow leaf; but honor, love, obedience, troops of friends,-those he rejoiced to say were his, and he would not say that he had deserved them, but would say that the dear partner of his life had done so. (Here he cried, I think.) They had never had a dispute, far less a quarrel, and if another five-and-twenty years should be granted them, the only increase of happiness he could desire for that period would be in the prattle of a third generation of Lacquerby Veneers." Yes, my boy, he spoke very well, and you may give me another cigar, as this don't draw-it's one of those I keep, in a lovely embroidered case, for friends who call.

Here we do want the penny-a-liner. Here really is paragraph talk. Penny-a-lining, in excelsis, is the oratory of such as Lacquerby Veneer. Come along, Signor Lorenzo; we have had lunch enough, and we'll have a cigar in the park. You shall read the speech to-morrow-I saw a man taking notes, and I shall have a copy, printed on satin paper, and tied up with the cards of the happy couple; bless you, Veneer will not throw away a chance of getting himself talked about. You shall have my copy; I and silver, and multiply it. do not mean to insert it in my album of

Yes, that might fairly be called an Electrotype Wedding. There are a good many such festivals. But they bear no proportion at all to the thousands of weddings where the real gold and silver come out, and where the words which are as free to hollow humbugs as to honest men express the real feelings of the heart. God bless the gold

S. B.