Ford. So say I too, Sir.-Come hither, mis-when I open ‡ agaiu.
tress Ford; mistress Ford, the honest woman,
the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that hath
the jealous fool to her husband !-I suspect with-
out cause, mistress, do I?

Mrs. Ford. Heaven be my witness, you do,
if you suspect me in any dishonesty.
Ford. Well said, brazen-face; hold it out.--
Come forth, sirrah.

[Pulls the clothes out of the basket. Page. This passes !

Mrs. Ford. Are you not ashamed? let the ous service. clothes alone.

Mrs. Ford. What think you? May we, with the warrant of woman-hood, and the witness of Eva. 'Tis unreasonable! Will you take up a good conscience, pursue him with any further your wife's clothes? Come away.

Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared out of him; if the devil have him not in fee-simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the way of waste, attempt us again.

Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him?

Mrs. Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the figures out of your husband's brains. If they can find in their hearts, the poor unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will still be the ministers.

Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him publicly shamed: aud, methinks, there would be no period to the jest, should he not be pub. licly shamed.

Mrs. Page. Come to the forge with it then, shape it: I would not have things cool.

[Exeunt. SCÈNE III-A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter HOST and BARDOLPH.

Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your horses: the duke himself will be tomorrow at court, and they are going to meet him.

Host. What duke should that be, comes so secretly? I hear not of him in the court: Let me speak with the gentlemen ; they speak English?

Bard. Ay, Sir; I'll call them to you. Host. They shall have my horses; but I'll make them pay, I'll sauce them; they have had my houses a week at cominand; I have turned away my other guests: they must come off; I'll sauce them: Come. [Exeunt.

SCENE IV.-A Room in FORD's House. Enter PAGE, FORD, Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. FORD, and Sir HUGH EVANS.

Eva. 'Tis one of the pest discretions of a 'oman as ever I did look upon.

Page. And did he send you both these letters at an instant ?

Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour. Ford. Pardon me, wife: Henceforth do what thou wilt,

I rather will suspect the sun with cold,

And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a

cbain

In a most hideous and dreadful manner :
You have heard of such a spirit; and well you
know,

The superstitious idle-headed eld⚫
Received, and did deliver to our age,
This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.
Page. Why, yet there want not many, that do
fear

In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak:
But what of this?

Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device;
That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us,
Disguised like Herne, with huge horns on his
head.

Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll
come,

And in this shape: When you have brought him thither,

What shall be done with him? what is your
plot ?

Mrs. Page. That ikewise have we thought
Nan Page my daughter, and my little son,
upon, and thus:
And

three or four more of their growth, we'll
Like urchins, ouphes, + and fairies, green and
dress
white,

With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
And rattles in their hands; upon a sudden,
Let them from forth a saw-pit rush at once
As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,
With some diffused ‡ song; upon their sight
We two in great amazedness will fly :
Then let them all encircle him about,
And, fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight;
And ask him, why that hour of fairy revel,
In their so sacred paths he dares to tread,
In shape profane.

Mrs. Ford. And till he tell the truth,
And burn him with their tapers.
Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound,§

We'll all present ourselves; dishorn the spirit,
Mrs. Page. The truth being known,
And mock him home to Windsor.
Ford. The children must

Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't.
Eva. I will teach the children their bebavi.
ours; and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to

Than thee with wantouuess: now doth thy ho burn the knight with my taber.

nour stand,

In him that was of late a heretic,

As firm as faith.

Page. 'Tis well, 'tis well; no more. Be not as extreme in submission,

As in offence;

But let our plot go forward; let our wives
Yet once again, to make us public sport,
Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
Where we may take him, and disgrace him for

it.

Ford. There is no better way than that they spoke of.

Page. How to send him word they'll meet him in the park at midnight! fie, fie; he'll never

come.

Eva. You say he has been thrown in the
rivers; and has been grievously peaten, as an
old 'oman: methinks, there should be terrors
in him, that he should not come; methinks, his
flesh is punished, he shall have no desires.
Page. So think I too.

Mrs. Ford. Devise but how you'll use him
when he comes,
And let us two devise to bring him thither.
Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that
Herne the hunter,

Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest,
Doth all the winter time, at still midnight,
Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd

horns;

And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle,

• Strikes.

Ford. That will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards.

Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,

Finely attired in a robe of white.

Page. That silk will I go buy ;-and in that time

Shall master Slender steal my Nan away,

And marry her at Eton.--Go, send to Falstaf
[Aside
straight.

Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in name of
Brook :

He'll tell me all his purpose: Sure, he'll come.
Mrs. Page. Fear not you that: Go, get us
And tricking for our fairies.
properties, ||

sures, and fery honest knaveries.
Eva. Let as about it: It is admirable plea-

[Exeunt PAGE, FORD, and EVANS
Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford,
Send quickly to Sir John, to know his mind.
[Exit Mrs. FORD.

I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will,
That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot;
And nore but he, to marry with Nan Page.
And he my husband best of all affects:
The doctor is well money'd, and his friends
Potent at court; he, none but he, shall have
her,

Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave
her.
[Exit.
SCENE V.-A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter Host and SIMPLE.

Host. What would'st thou have, boor? what, thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.

Sim. Marry, Sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff from master Slender.

Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: Go, knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophaginian * unto thee: Knock, I say.

Sim. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as stay, Sir, till she come down: I come to speak with her, indeed.

Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully Sir John! speak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls.

Fal. [above.] How now, mine host? Host. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: Let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable: Fye! privacy? fye!

Enter FALSTAFF.

Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me; but she's gone,

Sim. Pray you, Sir, was't not the wise of Brentford ?

Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell; would you with her?

woman

What

Sim. My master, Sir, my master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go thorough the streets, to know, Sir, whether one Nym, Sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain, or no.

Fal. I spake with the old woman about it. Sim. And what says she, I pray, Sir? Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man, that beguiled master Slender of his chain, cozened him of it.

Sim. I would I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.

Fal. What are they? let us know.
Host. Ay, come; quick.

Sim. I may not conceal them, Sir.
Fal. Conceal them, or thou diest.

Sim. Why, Sir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne Page; to know, if it were my master's fortune to have her, or no.

Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune.

Sim. What, Sir?

Fal. To have her,—or no: Go; say, the man told me so.

from behind one of them, in a slough of mire ; and set spurs, and away, like three German devils, three doctor Faustuses.

Host. They are gone but to meet the duke, villain: do not say, they be fled; Germans are honest men.

Enter Sir HUGH EVANS. Eva. Where is mine host? Host. What is the matter, Sir? Eva. Have a care of your entertainments : there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me there is three couzin germans, that has cozened all the hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you for good-will, look you: you are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stogs; and 'tis not convenient you should be cozened: Fare you well. [Exit.

Enter Doctor CAIUS.

Caius. Vere is mine Host de Jarterre. Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and doubtful dilemma.

Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat; but it is tell. a me, dat you make grand preparation for a duke de Jarmany: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat the court is know to come; I tell you for good vill: adieu. [Erit.

Host. Hue and cry, villain, go-assist me, knight; I am undone :-fly, run, hue and cry, villain I am undone !

[Exeunt HOST and BARDOLPH. Fal. I would all the world might be cozened; for I have been cozen'd and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transformed, and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgelled, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crestfallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since I forswore myself at Primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.

Enter Mrs. QUICKLY.
Now! whence come you?

Quick. From the two parties, forsooth.

Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestowed! I have suffered more for their sakes, more than the villanous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear.

Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant; speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.

Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue ? wo-I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow, and I was like to be apprebended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable had set me i' the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch.

Sim. May I be so bold to say so, Sir?
Fal. Ay, Sir Tike; who more bold ?
Sim. I thank your worship: I shall make my
master glad with these tidings. [Exit SIMPLE.
Host. Thou art clerkly, 5 thou art clerkly, Sir
John Was there a wise woman with thee?

Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one, that bath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed. Fal. Come up into my chamber.

[Exeunt

SCENE VI.-Another Room in the Garter

Inn.

Enter FENTON and HOST.

Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy, I will give over all. Fent. Yet hear me speak: Assist me in my purpose,

• A game at cards

And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee
A hundred pound in gold, more than your loss.
Host. I will hear you, master Fenton; and I
will, at the least, keep your counsel.

Fent. From time to time I have acquainted

you

With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page;
Who, mutually, hath answer'd my affection
(So far forth as herself might be her chooser,)
Even to my wish: I have a letter from her
Of such contents as you will wonder at:
The mirth whereof so larded with my matter,
That neither, singly, can be manifested,
Without the show of both ;-wherein' fat

staff
Hath a great scene: the image of the jest.
[Showing the letter.
I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine
host:
To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and

one,

Fal. Away, I say; time wears: hold up your head, and mince. [Exit Mrs. QUICKLY.

Enter FORD.

Be you

How now, master Brook? Master Brook, the
matter will be known to-night, or never.
in the Park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and
you shall see wonders.

Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, Sir, as you told me you had appointed?

Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man: but I came from her, Fal-master Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave, Ford her husband, bath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, master Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell you. He beat me grievously, in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, master because I know also, life is a shuttle. I am Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's beam; in haste; go along with me; I'll tell you all, master Brook. Since I plucked geese, played truant, and whipped top, I knew not what it was to be beaten, till lately. Follow me: I'll tell you strange things of this knave Ford: on whom to-night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your hand.-Follow: Strange things in hand, master Brook! follow.

Must my sweet Nan present the fairy queen ;
The purpose why, is here; in which disguise,
While other jests are something rank on foot,
Her father hath commanded her to slip
Away with Slender, and with him at Eton
Immediately to marry: she hath consented:
Now, Sir,

Her mother, even strong against that match,
And firm for doctor Caius, hath appointed
That he shall likewise shuffle ber away,
While other sports are tasking of their minds,
And at the deanery, where a priest attends,
Straight marry her: to this her mother's plot
She, seemingly obedient, likewise bath
Made promise to the doctor;-Now, thus it

rests:

Her father means she shall be all in white;
And in that habit, when Slender sees his time
To take her by the hand and bid her go,

[Exeunt.

SCENE 11.-Windsor Park.

Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER, ditch, till we see the light of our fairies.-RePage. Come, come; we'll couch i' the castle member, son Slender, my daughter.

Slen. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and we have a nay-word, how to know one another. I come to her in white, and cry, mum ;

She shall go with him :-her mother hath in- she cries, budget; and by that we know one

tended,

The better to denote her to the doctor,
(For they must all be mask'd and vizarded,)
That, quaint in green, she shall be loose en-
rob'd,

With ribbands pendant, flaring 'bout her head;
And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,
To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token,
The maid hath given consent to go with him.
Host. Which means she to deceive? father or
mother?

Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with

me:

And here it rests,-that you'll procure the vicar

To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and

one,

And, in the lawful name of marrying,
To give our hearts united ceremony.

Host. Well, husband your device; I'll to the
vicar :

Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.
Fent. So shall I evermore be bound to thee;
Besides, I'll make a present recompense.

ACT V.

[Exeunt.

another.

Shal. That's good too: But what needs either cipher her well enough.-It hath struck ten your mum, or her budget? the white will deo'clock.

Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the devil, and we shall know him by his horns. Let's away; follow me. [Exeunt.

SCENE III.-The Street in Windsor.

Enter Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. FORD, and Dr.
CAIUS.

Mrs. Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in green when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and despatch it quickly: Go before into the park; we two must go together.

Caius. I know vat I have to do; Adieu.

Mrs, Page. Fare you well, Sir. [Exit CAIUS.] My husband will not rejoice so much at the doctor's marrying my daughter: but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, than a great deal of heart-break.

Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies? and the Welsh devil, Hugh?

Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne's oak, with obscured lights; which, at the the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they will at once display to the night.

Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him.

Mrs. Page. If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked.

Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely.

Mrs, Page. Against such lewdsters, and thet: lechery,

Those that betray him do no treachery.

Watch-word.