CHAPTER III.

THE ELDER PROFFERS AN OPINION UPON WORDSWORTH.

"I cannot mend it, I must needs confess,

And do remain as neuter."-YORK, in RICH. II.

THREE days had elapsed since the interview which closed with the last chapter, and in company with applications for professional" opinions from all sorts of people," Rowland Hill's emissary for the district in which my chambers were situate, deposited therein on the morning of the fourth day, the original of the following:

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Ivy Lodge, 9th Ap. 41. "Did my parting salutation on Monday night include an Au revoir ?'-My reminiscent faculties resolved into a committee of inquiry betimes this

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morning, and the result is present pyrrhonism. Once for all, prithee cause the deep umbrage' of my locale to prate of your whereabouts whensoever you will, and consider the old man here as your friend. I seldom remember to invite; make therefore this injunction a standing one, like the whoop of " Hereditary Bondsmen!"

"Your apprehension concerning the expediency of refixing the kalends to suit the disordered state of the months, may soothe itself in contemplating April, true to its ancient reputation of Inconstant, and not unlike a fair form torn by epilepsy. What a fit the poor month suffered on Friday! Would the Meteorological Society accept my theory of the frequent sulkiness of Friday?—a crude allegory upon practices in the Commons' House; to wit, that an elemental opposition goes on against the Tory Premier, Sol, on Fridays, and that the fine old fellow is sometimes overpowered for a brief space by an incongruous coalition, lashed into turmoil by a most obstreperous tail.

"But he has recovered the mastery; and if any stormy malcontent, in the guise of a cloud, presumes to rise in his presence, and to cough or expectorate, the gorgeous Minister radiates the splenetic effusion with prismatic colors. The profound in these matters

affirm that we severally sustain an immense pressure of atmospheric air-I forget if it be hundreds-weight or tons per square inch of shoulder.-How is it that no philanthropic senator, casting a lynx-eye on the fardels which affect the masses, has entered his protest against this grievous oppression. Is it not enough to be taxed for light!-are we also to be burdened by air? Will no indignant son of Erin pray for a rippale of this union, or move, that the Phaton of the cabinet do take a diplomatic drive up to Phœbus, and entreat for terms less onerous.

Well, with all this ponderosity without, I can still sing-(alas!

'Omnia Tempus edax carpit-omnia sede movet!'

Momentarily oblivious of dental deficiencies, I remember that I can only say) Je suis content! 'Tis happy for us that these poor barks-our bodiesladen, as sage meh at St. Stephen's assure us, heavier than barges, are constructed on and conceal a buoyant principle! By the throttle (regarded as a channel of song, the marvellous throttle) of Sir Fred! so many things-above, around, beneath-have been to-day in compact alliance with that unreasoning lassie Joy, (espied awhile ago from Rydal, under guidance of a

sunbeam, the lax rover!) that the weather-beaten bark whose anchorage is superscribed, has metaphorically -nathless its heavy freight of wrongs—been dancing like a very skiff on summer-breeze-delighted billows. "You may think me here, alone, ivied-in, kinless, kithless, an old man to be pitied. Spare your compassion! Even were all my plumed pets under discussion among worms, I have a petticoated pet who humours and enraptures me—and there is exquisite joy in loving her. I became part-proprietor of the darling at her baptism, nineteen years ago, and have given her more attention than was stipulated in the bond. Dutiful in much, the hussy has her conceits, -'gives proof,' as old John Harrington observes, ' of woman's ways;' and as to poetry, though she doesn't dispute openly the supremacy of King Will, her allegiance is undermined by the pathos of Queen Felicia and the charms of divers others of that line of queens."

A few days afterwards, towards evening, I turned my back upon the smoke and stir of Town, and revisited E. The morning had been marked by the " uncertain glory" peculiar to the month; but the

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afternoon was altogether lovely, and the sun set with