But when the swinging signs your ears offend With creaking noise, then rainy floods impend; Soon shall the kennels swell with rapid streams, And rush in muddy torrents to the Thames. The bookseller, whose shop's an open square, Foresees the tempest, and with early care Of learning strips the rails: the rowing crew, To tempt a fare, clothe all their tilts in blue. On hosiers' poles depending stockings ty'd, Flag with the slacken'd gale from side to side. Church monuments foretel the changing air; Then Niobe dissolves into a tear,
And sweats with secret grief. You'll hear the sounds Of whistling winds ere kennels break their bounds; Ungrateful odours common sewers diffuse, And drooping vaults distil unwholesome dews, Ere the tiles rattle with the smoking show'r, And spouts on heedless men their torrents pour. All superstition from thy breast repel. Let cred'lous boys, and prattling nurses tell How, if the festival of Paul be clear,
Plenty from lib'ral horn shall strow the year; When the dark skies dissolve in snow or rain, The lab'ring hind shall yoke the steer in vain ; But if the threat'ning winds in tempests roar, Then War shall bathe her wasteful sword in gore, How, if on Swithin's feast the welkin lours, And ev'ry penthouse streams with hasty show'rs,
Twice twenty days shall clouds their fleeces drain, And wash the pavements with incessant rain. Let not such vulgar tales debase thy mind; Nor Paul nor Swithin rule the clouds and wind. If you the precepts of the Muse despise, And slight the faithful warning of the skies, Others you'll see when all the Town's afloat, Wrapt in th' embraces of a kersey coat, Or double-button'd freeze; their guarded feet Defy the muddy dangers of the street,
While you, with hat unloop'd, the fury dread
Of spouts high streaming, and with cautious tread Shun ev'ry dashing pool; or idly stop,
To seek the kind protection of a shop. But bus'ness summons; now with hasty scud You jostle for the wall; the spatter'd mud Hides all thy hose behind; in vain you scour; Thy wig, alas! uncurl'd, admits the show'r. So fierce Alecto's snaky tresses fell,
When Orpheus charm'd the rig'rous pow'rs of hell; Or thus hung Glaucus's beard, with briny dew Clotted and strait, when first his am'rous view Surpris'd the bathing fair; the frighted maid Now stands a rock, transform'd by Circe's aid. Good housewives all the winter's rage despise, Defended by the ridinghood's disguise; Or, underneath th' umbrella's oily shade, Safe thro' the wet on clinking pattens tread.
Double-bottom'd freeze. 12mo. edit. 1767.
Let Persian dames th' umbrella's ribs display, To guard their beauties from the sunny ray; Or sweating slaves support the shady load, When eastern monarchs show their state abroad; Britain in winter only knows its aid,
To guard from chilly show'rs the walking maid. But, O! forget not, Muse! the patten's praise, That female implement shall grace thy lays; Say, from what art divine th' invention came, And from its origin deduce the name.
Where Lincoln wide extends her fenny soil, A goodly yeoman liv'd, grown white with toil; One only daughter blest his nuptial bed, Who from her infant hand the poultry fed: Martha (her careful mother's name) she bore, But now her careful mother was no more. Whilst on her father's knee the damsel play'd, Patty he fondly call'd the smiling maid; As years increas'd, her ruddy beauty grew, And Patty's fame o'er all the village flew.
Soon as the grey-ey'd morning streaks the skies, And in the doubtful day the woodcock flies, Her cleanly pail the pretty housewife bears, And singing to the distant field repairs:
And when the plains with ev'ning dews are spread, The milky burden smokes upon her head: Deep thro' a miry lane she pick'd her way, Above her ancle rose the chalky clay..
Vulcan by chance the bloomy maiden spies, With innocence and beauty in her eyes:
He saw, he lov'd; for yet he ne'er had known Sweet innocence and beauty meet in one. Ah! Mulciber! recall thy nuptial vows, Think on the graces of thy Paphian spouse; Think how her eyes dart inexhausted charms, And can'st thou leave her bed for Patty's arms? The Lemnian Pow'r forsakes the realms above, His bosom glowing with terrestrial love. Far in the lane a lonely hut he found,
No tenant ventur'd on th' unwholesome ground. Here smokes his forge, he bares his sinewy arm, And early strokes the sounding anvil warm: Around his shop the ste:lly sparkles flew, As for the steed he shap'd the bending shoe. When blue-ey'd Patty near his window came, His anvil rests, his forge forgets to flame: To hear his soothing tales she feigns delays; What woman can resist the force of praise?
At first she coily ev'ry kiss withstood, And all her cheek was flush'd with modest blood: With heedless nails he now surrounds her shoes, To save her steps from rains and piercing dews. She lik'd his soothing tales, his presents wore, And granted kisses, but would grant no more. Yet winter chill'd her feet, with cold she pines, And on her cheek the fading rose declines;
No more her humid eyes their lustre boast, And in hoarse sounds her melting voice is lost.
This Vulcan saw, and in his heav'nly thought A new machine mechanic fancy wrought, Above the mire her shelter'd steps to raise, And bear her safely thro' the win ry ways. Strait the new engine on his anvil glows, And the pale virgin on the patten rose.
No more her lungs are shook wirh dropping rheums, And on her cheek reviving beauty blooms. The God obtain'd his suit: tho' flatt'ry fail, Presents with female virtue must prevail. The patten now supports each frugal dame, Which from the blue-ey'd Patty takes the name.
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