L. R. I have let you run on; to enhance your furprise,

Take this paper, and fee ;-believe your own eyes.

L. P. Is't poffible? No. Let me read it again; Such folly, fure, never infected a brain ! The am'rous Lady was at her laft pray'rs To wed an impoftor- I'd wait till white hairs Had grizzled my pate o'er, ere I wou'd unite With one whofe connections would fhame me outright.

L. R. The new-married couple laft Friday appear'd At Ranelagh-Lord how the company fneer'd, To fee his mock Lordship fupporting his bride ; Who hung, with a languishing air, by his fide. I vow and protest 'twas diverting to hear How often the fondly repeated, My dear ! Her female companion, as puffer, oft cried, Lord where's Lady Razorface, where is the bride? Did you fee Lady Razorface? it was her care

To buz the new title about ev'ry where.

L. P. 'Twas farcical, truly; but tell me my dear, If Lady Fannilia, her rival, was there?

L. R. She was; and lcok'd charming;

cannot exprefs

The pleafing effect of her innocent drefs.

But

But what is more wonderful still, you muit know,
A Lady that died, as he faid, long ago;

The daughter of him that you know made a noise
Lord blefs me! what makes me forget

caufe!

L. P. Is it A---y's?

L. R.

-Yes! you have hit it-the fame

the great

She that very night, fure to Ranelagh came :
And Nature fo lavish has been to the Fair,

You'd have fworn that an angel was habitant there
The bridegroom, in fpite of his ignorant boast,
Seem'd really as tho' he perceived a ghost ;
His colour grew wan-though 'tis nat'rally fo,
But he was, I belive, unprepar'd for the blow.
She met him he turn'd but too foon in the round,
She darted a glance-brighter fenfe might confound ;
And then in a tone quite ironical, cried,

I, two years ago, of a confumption died.
But pray, don't I look very well for a fhade?
The malady was in my purse tho' display'd:
But now I'm recover'd, you fee l'mgrown fat
And D-n-v-n there fhall experience that:
My coufin Dorinda and I will unite,

And fee if our forces won't conquer him quite.
Confounded, he quitted the place with his bride,
And Wh-l-r, with fond admiration was ey’d.

L. P. I thank you, my dear, for your news; but you'll stay

And dine here to-day, in a family way;

Then at night repair with us to Lady Bragg's route, And circulate what we've been talking about.

PHILO.

SIR,

TO THE EDITOR.

DINING at Lady Ramble's the other day, it was propofed, after dinner, by her Ladyfhip's fifter, to hear Mifs, who is a fine girl of about eleven years of age, concerning fome points fhe had been instructed in relative to her duty in life; which being agreed to, her Ladyfhip defired Miss to stand up, and then afked the questions, and received the answers following and as they may be of fervice to other young Ladies of Quality, I have tranfmitted them to you.

SOCRATISSA.

L. R. My dear! pray tell me what you was brought

into the world for?

A husband.

O my dear! you should say to be admired.

AUNT.

AUNT. Well, I vow I think my niece has given a

L. R.

MISS.

L. R.

MISS.

L. R.

MISS.

L. R.

MISS

L. R.

better answer; as he came to the point

directly, and brought the matter home at

once.

What is the duty of an husband?

To please his wife.

What is the duty of a wife?
To please herself.

What are the principal objects on which a
fine lady should fix her attention?

Drefs and admiration.

What is the chief use of a fine lady's eyes?
To ftare and ogle at the men.

What is the business of a fine lady?

MISS. To play at cards, go to routs, balls, plays,`

L. R.

MISS.

L. R.

operas, &c. and carry on intrigues.

What is the religion of a fine lady?

Το pay her devotions at court, and make her ́ curt'fies in the drawing-room.

May a fine lady ever go to church?

MISS. Very feldom ! and then he must be fure to fleep there, or talk very loud, and flander

L. R.

MISS.

fome of her acquaintance.

Which is the best book in the world?

Hoyle on Quadrille.

L. R. From whence come the politeft fashions, and

the beft filks?

MISS.

From France.

HS

L. R.

L. R. Who make the best servants ?

MISS. The French.

1. R. Very well, my dear! you don't forget, I find. AUNT. I vow my niece is very perfect in her education, and will make a fine accomplished

woman.

A MODERN GLOSSARY.

ANGEL. The name of a woman, commonly of a very bad one.

AUTHOR.

A laughing stock. It means likewise a poor fellow; and in general an object of contempt. BEAR. A country gentleman; or, indeed, any animal upon two legs that doth not make a handfome bow.

BEAUTY. The qualification with which women. generally go into keeping.

BEAU. With the article A before it, means a great favourite of all women.

BRUTE. A word implying plain-dealing and finceri. ty; but more especially applied to a philofopher. Any ftick of wood with a head to it, and a piece of black ribband upon

CAPTAIN.
COLONEL.

that head.

CREATURE,