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how it happened that once he was “No,' said he never.' Down in command of a small sloop of he went again, and for a little war at the mouth of an African longer, when I asked, “Will you river, whose banks were inhabited by a colony of Jews, a race of most “ No,' said he, 'for nothing on strange and mysterious origin, but earth.' yet to be found there. Amongst "I put him under again, ladies these there was one, a very vener- and gentlemen; and, I am obliged able-looking old fellow, who sup- to own, I kept him almost a plied the sloop with yams and sweet minute, so that when he did come potatoes, and such other produce; up he was very red in the face, and " and with him," said the officer, nearly suffocated. “I had frequent discussions, some
“What do you say now? Will of them on religious topics. He you be a Christian ?' interested me at last to that degree “ Yes,' said he, with a gulp. that I began to wish I could con- “Then you shan't relapse any, vert him, though really, from my way,' said I; and so, ladies and ignorance of polemics, I did not gentlemen, I put him down again, know exactly how to set about it; and held him there quite long and at the same time I was dis- enough to prevent accidents; and couraged by hearing that, of the that was the only Jew I ever heard supposed converts made by mis- of who didn't recant." sionaries on the coast, there was The lieutenant may have been not one who had not relapsed. unlucky; but are
we more for“ While I thus hesitated and tunate in our experiences of the pondered, I received sudden orders ticket-o'-leavers who to sail. I went on shore to settle prize - men of our jails ? Are not some matters of the ship's accounts, the convictions we daily read of, all, and seeing that Moses was or nearly all, of men well known to board I offered him a passage in the police—“old offenders”? my gig, to have a few last words The almost certainty of detection with him. We started a religious is your true reformer. Show the discussion at once; but I found my thief that it won't pay." Let friend, long trained to argue with the burglar learn that housebreakthe missionaries, rather more than ing, like landlordism, has its remy match. He knew far more than sponsibilities, ay, and that they I did, and employed his knowledge are sure to be imposed; and when more skilfully. In my embarrass- you have done this, the profession ment I grew angry. I was foiled will become unpopular. so often that my men had hard Strengthen your police and scruwork to keep from laughing, and tinise your magistrates, and, take this overcame me completely. So my word, you may practise a wise I just seized him by the collar and economy in jail reformers and prichucked him into the sea; and son disciplinists; and if, besides after keeping him down for a this, you make jails uncomfortable, second or two, I said, “Will you there will be no more to do than be a Christian now ?'
“rest and be thankful."
SOME PROS AND CONS OF LIFE ABROAD.
Ever since that letter of Mrs society, one live for half O'Dowd's asking me for the name nothing, I have been revolving in of the town abroad where, with an my mind the delusions of the peoexquisite climate and a charming ple who come abroad for cheapness
In or three 66
Some years ago, doubtless, the ments, and I never found one too Continent was cheap-one reason,
bad to live under. I am sure they in and a great one, of the cheapness did not abandon the knout during
being, that you consented to live my visit to Moscow, and I strongly 2 abroad without many things you suspect that the Pope would have
would have judged to be indispen- kidnapped a Jew child even while e sable at home; and so, instead of I prolonged my stay at Rome; but
a house, you lived in part of one. I can aver with a safe conscience I
In lieu of a regular establishment, was never molested by either Cos:: your household consisted of two sack or Cardinal; and I came away grand utilities ;'
" and from each of these places with a your butler was a hairy rascal, whole skin and an uninvaded faith. who cleaned the windows, polished The smaller cities are not, it is the parquet, and very possibly true, devoid of social freedom;
coiffeed your wife. You slept on but, of course, there is more gossip, os sackcloth and ate out of earthen- more neighbourly comment, than
ware; and the only bit of carpet in in wider circles. They are cer-
the room, upon which, under a glass the highest class is no question of with bell, stood a miniature tea-service. tens of thousands.
All these were very cheap enjoy- I have passed so much of my life ments, but would you have had abroad that I only take my home E them at any price in your own statistics from what my friends are
Of late, however, the so good as to tell me, and what I
and little-visited spots, has become papers. From these sources I am TAS WELNY pretty much like England, and the led to conclude that there is very Pa consequence is, just as dear. little difference in cost between
Paris is far more costly as a resi- England and the Continent genedence than London, St Petersburg rally; and that if we were to draw double Paris, and Vienna about out a scale of equivalents—taking half-way between the two. Mad- London, for instance, to rank with rid is expensive, but it does not Paris, Bath with Baden, Edinburgh much matter- nobody would live with Berlin, and Dublin with, let there who was not paid for it. us say, Grätz in Styria—we should
Brussels is fast treading on the find the cost of living pretty equal. heels of Paris in point of expense; The great difference between life Rome is twice as costly as it was in England and life abroad I take ten years ago ; and so, too, might to be, that in England our effort is we say of Florence. Dresden is to do a great many things at the dearer also: and now I am at the smallest possible cost; and abroad, end of places to live in; for as to to do without one-half of them. Geneva and the Rhine towns, I Money is such a standard with have no sympathy with those who us in England, not alone of solvinhabit them, or å word of counsel ency, but of social claim and perto give them. The best cities to so- sonal worth, that a man is continujourn in are Paris and Rome. They ally on the watch lest he should be are richer in objects of interest, detected in an economy. He must more varied in aspect, and broader be liberal in all subscriptions, a free socially; and, for the latter reason, giver in fifty ways, no matter by there is more personal indepen- what petty pinchings at home he dence than elsewhere. In speak- must readjust the balance of exing thus, I reject all considerations penditure, -unless, indeed, he be of government and administration. very rich, when all his shortcomings I have tried a great many govern- will be set down to eccentricity.
re bani deluziosa abroad tires
Be only eccentric in England, and Now, I ask, is there any excuse there is nothing you may not do short of a fire would palliate a man with impunity short of a murder. dropping into a friend's
house of an Now, money abroad is only money. evening in England ? For my own Do not imagine I say this disparag- part, I should as soon think of ingly; Cornelius O'Dowd has had sauntering down to the Old Bailey to too many experiences of the minus pass an hour, as I would of calling sign in his life's algebra to speak upon the man I know best in any disrespectfully of the plus emblem! capital of Great Britain. We have I simply desire to say, that Con- our set periods for company as we tinental people do not accept money have for church, and we are just as as station, rank, education, good solemn in the one as the other. manners, and good connections; and The very fact that an amusement is for this reason no part of a man's inexpensive, stamps it with us as income need be devoted abroad to undesirable. the object of "imposing.” In a Now, apply these instincts to our word, you may keep all your salt- lives abroad, and you will see that petre to make gunpowder, and we do not derive from foreign sonever spend an ounce of it in fire- journ those benefits of economy we works. And, oh dear, what fire- go in search of. Not that we are works do we let off socially at home! too free-handed or too liberal-far What squibs and crackers of dé- from it. Our little facility of speech jeûners and luncheons ! what Cath- in the languages of the Continent arine - wheels of stupid dinners ! inspires us with perpetual distrust, what Roman candles of routs and which we discount into shabbiness. evening parties !-- breaking our “We killed our goose” abroad, hearts and burning our fingers, all or we might have enjoyed golden that our rockets may go up a little eggs for many a year. We overdid higher than our neighbours', and cheapness. Weshowed the foreigner burst more gracefully!
that we had come abroad for econoI suspect that, at our very best, my so palpably, as to imply that we are not a very social people, and for no other possible consideration we utterly swamp ourselves by over- would we have consented to his laying all intercourse by costliness. company. Now, this was not civil, We must eat that we may talk, and but it was worse, it was impolitic. drink before we can laugh. They We put “Mussoo” on his mettle to manage this better in France. show us that, besides being fifty
Twenty people can assemble of times as brilliant, Paris could be as an evening where there may be a costly as London ;
and the cup of tea, or, as often, some eau founded foreigner” took an especial sucrée, and yet go home neither call- pride in exhibiting the rich Milor' ing down the infernal gods on the as one of the hardest bargainers host's shabbiness, nor inveighing and craftiest dealers of Europe. against their own folly. They can The flood of Americans over the come and go pleasantly, easily, and Continent of late years has raised socially, discussing what there may the cost of living, and, what like be of passing interest, and not put- even less, damaged us much as a ting into mere light conversation nation — they are so constantly that terrible earnestness that makes mistaken by foreigners for English. English small-talk like the discus- The effect is precisely like that prosion of a railway dividend; for it is duced in the mercantile world by true—unhappily, too—we neither some large issue of false scrip; understand light soup nor lighter people grow frightened, and sell small-talk. We put such a deal of out of the concern altogether. substance into either, that when we Over and over again has it been have tasted we are filled.
my fortune to hear severe comment
on English habits, derived from an back to his native woods and praiunlucky experience of the popular ries, and be as wildly fantastic and customs of Kansas, or “the last new barbarous as Nature intended him. thing in politeness from Ohio. These people are not the nation ; How vain to tell the German or the they are not even like it. They are Italian that he had been imposed on the offshoots of an over-wealthy
that he had not been dealing with and purse-proud society, who, not the “ Old House," but with a new daring to exhibit their impertinences establishment of reckless traders, where they are known, come over who, by puffing placards and lying to Europe to display themselves in advertisements, were trying to kid- all the extravagance of a mistaken nap our customers !
culture. False trade-marks are a terrible “When a good American dies he fraud in commerce, and we have goes to Paris,” it is said ; and I am suffered sorely of late years from almost tempted to wish that he those whom by some extraordinary would wait for his immortality on figure of speech we call our Trans- his own side of the Atlantic. atlantic cousins. When a well- Such people have helped to make known leader of the bar on an the Continent dear, and done very English circuit, presuming on the little to make it pleasanter; and circumstance that he had begun next to these come Russians. life as a midshipman, once took No man mourned the death of the upon him to return thanks at a late Emperor more sincerely than public dinner for the toast of the myself, for with him expired that navy, the explanation of a friend admirable law which forbade Ruswas, that he thought it was spelt sians to leave their country without with a K. Now if these connec- a formal and especial permission tions of ours would allow us to from the Czar himself. The Emcall them “ Cozens,” we might ad- peror was a wise man, and he thormit the relationship more easily. oughly appreciated what the first
Not that I include all Ameri- Napoleon said about washing one's cans in this sweeping judgment, for sale linge at home. The present there is a rough unvarnished Yan- head of the nation has revoked kee that I like much. I like his the edict, and we have Scythians self-reliance, his vigour, his daring everywhere-in the Tuileries, in earnestness, and I don't dislike his the Vatican, up Vesuvius, on Mont intense acuteness, and I forgive his Blanc. ill-humour with England. It is If the Russian be better plated" your travelled Philadelphian, your than the American, the metal beliterary gentleman from Boston, or neath is vastly inferior ; and once your almighty swaggerer from Broad- that the outward scale comes off, way, that I cannot stomach. This the vulgar material appears in all be-ringed and gold-chained masti- its atrocity; and the most polished cator is positively odious to me. production from the banks of the His imitation of the usages of so- Neva is little better than a naked ciety is at once so close and so re- savage with a gold snuff-box. mote, as to afford a cruel mockery Where, with ingredients like of our actual civilisation; and I these afloat, Mrs O'D. is to find long to read my Darwin backwards, her cheap and pleasant residence, is and fancy the time when he will go more than I know of.
In the name of all the Lords-in- they are getting up against the
habitually too kind to us—are we certainly not flattering. Why, thereover-complimented in Parliament, fore, might not we Irish like to wear or over-flattered in the Press ? Are as an honour what was instituted we too much distinguished by Court as a penalty, and exhibit from pride favour, or has the Chancellor of the what took its rise in repression ? Exchequer reserved for us any espe- It is certainly not as a boon for cial benefits in the Budget? In one our countrymen that we seek to word, have we so much that they maintain the office, since in four will 'not leave us this—this one hundred years but seven Viceroys remnant that recalls a time when have been Irish. Not that I comwe used to fancy ourselves a plain of this. I am well satisfied people ?
with the sort of men her Majesty The great ground of attack limits has sent over to rule us. They itself to calling the Viceroyalty a have generally been men of mark; mockery. Now I certainly do not always distinctively impressed with see this.
Is the Viceroy more the great traits of their great a mockery when deputed by her country. Majesty to represent her, than the These men, whatever their politiLord-Chancellor when he has been cal leanings, have conferred great delegated to open or prorogue Par- benefits upon us. They have disliament ? It may be a more solemn played to our over-impulsive naoffice, certainly, to convene English- tures the spectacle of a more measmen than to kiss Irish women; ured judgment, a calmer tone, a but I think I can guess which is more patient spirit of inquiry into pleasanter. At all events, nobody things new or difficult, than are to can call it a mockery. I am not be found generally amongst ourvery sure what great substantial selves; and I am certain that the reality appertains to any Court cere- personal characters of English Vicemonial. I opine that there be many roys have done much to raise the things in these displays that a estimate of England amongst all chastened wisdom and a refined classes of Irishmen. The Viceroy taste might demur to; the reflex, was able to do what would have therefore, need not be too closely been very difficult, if not impossiscrutinised, nor too severely judged. ble, for any other. He could bring
But take it to be a mockery, re- together at his table men the most duce it as low as you like in the antagonistic and opposed. These category of reasonable things, we men, fierce enemies till they had in Ireland like it : it amuses us; met, learned to acquire in social inwe accept it, not perhaps as the tercourse a very different estimate best to have, but the best we can of each other, and parted very freget; and surely you might be quently, if not friends, at least with pleased with our humility, even if sentiments of respect and esteem. you laugh at our childishness.
The violence of party is always Half the things men attach value in the inverse ratio of the squares to in life are mere symbols—some- of the distance it is exercised in; times not very intelligible ones. and Dublin being so much narOften are they types of what has rower than London, men were propassed away, never to return. Thus, portionately more bitter in their for instance, the rich gold cord, the dislikes. It was, then, an inestimaaiguillette of a general, was taken ble boon that there was one house from a Flemish regiment which in Ireland where men of opposing went into battle with the halter sides might sit down together, and round their necks, so that, if defeat- learn, if not to settle their diffeed, they should be hanged ; and rences, to subdue their prejudices. yet men are proud enough to dis- When, as was often the case, the play a decoration whose origin was Viceroy was a man of tact, the