Though from the theft he saves his coat, * If, previous to a consultation with an attorney, a man would give a few moments to calm reflection, he would frequently save, not only his property, but what is far more valuable, his peace of mind: for, in the course of legal investigations, it is astonishing how many unforeseen circumstances the parties have to encounter; what with witnesses being fooled by counsel, or having rather deaf consciences, and juries swayed by prejudice, or the glib tongue of the pleader, it becomes a very dubious point, even in the clearest case, who will come off the victor: and it also very frequently happens that the vanquished, unable to pay expenses, surrenders himself to a gaol, leaving the gainer to liquidate all costs, and solace himself with the imprisonment of his adversary; who, after a period, calls upon him for the daily stipend of sixpence; in failure of the payment of which the plaintiff gives the defendant his liberty. For witnesses, like watches, go Just as they're set, too fast or slow, And where, in conscience, th' are strait-lac'd, Do not your juries give their verdict, As if they felt the cause, not heard it? L'ENVOY OF THE POET. Take special care; nor cavil naught: For, though a favourable verdict's giv'n; Thou'lt own revenge, though sweet, is dearly bought, To find thyself and poverty just even. THE POET'S CHORUS TO FOOLS. Come, trim the boat, row on each Rara Avis, SECTION XXXVI. FOOLS WHO PROVIDE NOTHING IN YOUTH TO LIVE IN AGE. I've learn'd that fearful commenting Is leaden servitor to dull delay; Delay leads impotent and snail-pac'd beggary. THE insect gay, that takes its flight, In airy circlets, light and gay, Thus, oft in fancy's fairy dreams, And youth is spent in festive scenes, * No set of fools require less commisseration than those at present under our review; for, notwithstanding the hourly proofs of the insufficiency of age in every instance which requires animal, and too frequently, mental exertion, we find the impulse of folly counteract each sober dictate of reason; as if by rushing into excess, we were to invigorate the system; and, by dissipating in youth, we hoarded up for age. There is, however, a medium between that over wariness which contaminates the mind with avarice, and the prodigality which beggars him who dissipates; for it has afforded matter for much disquisition, which of the two is most prejudicial, the penurious man, or the spendthrift: and, notwithstanding the ills resulting from the latter, it is, nevertheless, a received opinion, that the former is most inimical to the interests and well being of society. It is the province of every man to remember, that if a duration of life be granted him, he must, of necessity, become old; and that his youthful powers are not only accorded to him for the present enjoyment, but to ward against the evils of want in future: for he who is incapable of assisting either himself or others, will find but a cold reception from the world; and, like the drone in the hive, be turned adrift, as unworthy the protection of the industrious and the frugal. I shall now re For oft o'er penury's sparing board, late a fact respecting another species of fools, who may be classed under this head, and whose history was as follows. A man finding himself possessed of so many hundred pounds, when at the age of forty, took it into his head that he should just live to attain his 64th year; and, under this conviction he calculated how much would be sufficient for his annual expenditure; which having accomplished, he divided and subdivided his gold into the number of portions, making his last farthing to be gone on the completion of the stipulated age of 64. Now, it so happened, that he not lived to the above period, but fulfilled his 73d year; conse quently, for the last nine years of his existence, being left pennyless, he had recourse to charity; and was never known to fail in attending on London bridge, which was his place of stand, where he appeared with a placard on his breast, whereon he had written, these words, " Wrong in my calculation." Which inscription, on account of its singularity, used to attract the attention of passengers, who, on hearing this story from the lips of the self-convicted fool, used to drop their mite, and profit by the instruction. |