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OF FOOLS THAT KNOW AND ARE INSTRUMENTAL
TO THEIR WIVE'S INCONSTANCY.
And makes himself a handle ?
A wretch to hold the candle ? *
* Theophilus Cibber affords a striking instance of human depravity of this species; who purposely connived at the incontinence of his wife with Mr. Sloper, that he might receive his money, and also extort from him heavy damages, by an action of Crim. con. which was instituted, but to little effect, for, on hearing the evidence, the infamy of the Plaintiff was so conspicuous, that the Jury awarded him Ten Pounds damages, and, to increase his punishment, the public were so exasperated at his conduct, that Cibber found it impossible to appear on the stage in this country
Can such be man, whose soul divine,
That honours virtue's name?
And wear the badge of shame.
The beasts of field, the birds of air,
Nor own such vice disgusting;
For shame impure thus lusting.
Is gold possess’d of charm so rare,
afterwards, in consequence of which he embarked for Ire. land, when the vessel was lost, and Cibber drowned; but, that we may not confine ourselves to fools of so late a period, we need only refer to the history of Pasiphe, queen of Crete, who had a son and heir by her gallant lover, a Bull, which was most condescendingly fathered by her cornuted lord.
To be by lust polluted ? *
As he who's self cornuted.
L'ENVOY OF THE POET.
Thy weaker half to play the wanton's part ;
That stabs thy reputation to the heart.
THE POET'S CHORUS TO FOOLS.
* The curious Impertinent affords an instance of a dif: ferent nature, respecting fools of this species, where the hero of the tale, anxious to prove the fidelity of his wife, reguests his bosom friend to make love to her, in order to make trial of her constancy; which is accordingly done, and with such success, that the husband has to thank himself for the horns he wears. This is not, however, the worst species of folly, for, however the reader may dispute the veracity of the ensuing statement, it is nevertheless grounded in truth.' An' individual, who shall be nameless, was in the habit of taking his wife every evening to the piazzas of Covent Garden, where he left her, in order to procure mo
ney, the wages of her own prostitution, and, if it so happened that she returned without such ill acquired gain, he was in the habit of chastising her severely; but with re. spect to the gratification of venality, through the medium of this degrading vice, how many husbands are there not, who wilfully put their wives in the way of great men, in order that they may gain their ends, heedless of the cries of conscience, and the goading sting of shame. Chi suoi vizii non doma, nelle sue mani la sua vergogna porta.
OF TOOLS THAT ARE PASSIONATE AT TRIFLES.
Si vis incolumem, si vis te reddere sanum,
Curas tolle graves, irasci crede profanum. A stone is heavy, and the sand weighty; but a fool's wrath is heavier than them both.
HARK, how the boist'rous fool will dash on,
* Sir John Perrot, the natural son of King Henry VIII. was very much addicted to passion, and was the first person who swore by God's wounds, now vulgarly termed zounds, In one of these fits of rage, he so far incensed Queen Eli. zabeth, that she ordered him into confinement in the Tower, where he continued for some time, until the queen, on account of their consanguinity, determined on giving him his liberty, and in consequence sent a message to indicate ber pleasure, which happened to be at the momentous period of the threatened invasion of England by the Spaniards; upon which Sir John having recourse to his accustomed oath, vowed that she only accorded this grace in order to command his services, for that he well knew, she would p-s herself through fear; which insolent reply being