“ Sir,

Momus the last of all, in merry mood, A paltry play'r, that in no parts succeeds,
As moderator in th'assembly stood.

A hackney writer, whom no mortal reads.
Ye laughter-loving pow'rs, ye gods of mirth,
What! not regard my deputy on Earth?
Whose chymic skill turns brass to gold with ease,
And out of Cibber forges Socrates?

florid Hillario becomes, in Woodward's phrase, a Whose genius nakes consistencies to fight, lay preacher ; but his flimsy, heavy, impotent And forms an union betwixt wrong and right? lucubrations have rather been of prejudice to the Who (five whole days in senseless malice past) good old cause; and we hear that there is now Repents, and is religious at the last?

preparing for the press, by a very eminent di

vine, a defence of Christianity against the misreNOTES VARIORUM.

presentations of a certain officious writer ; and riferous quality of Hillario's pen is manifest for the present we think proper to apply an epifrom the following asseveration, which was pub-gram, occasioned by a dispute between two beaux lished in the New Craftsman, and is a letter from concerning religion. a tradesman in the city.

On grace, free will, and myst'ries high,

Two wits barangu'd the table; “From a motive of gratitude, and for the sake

J-n H–Il believes he knows not why, of those of my fellow-creatures, who may unhap

Tom swears 'tis all a fable. pily be afflicted, as I have been for some time past, 1 beg leave, through the channel of your

Peace, idiots, peace, and both agree, paper, to communicate the disorder I have la- Tom kiss thy empty brother; boured under, and the extraordinary cure I have Religion laughs at foes like thee, lately met with. I have had for many months But dreads a friend like t'other. successively a slow nervous fever, with a constant

A paltry play'r, &c.] It appears that the first flutter on my spirits, attended with pertinacious effort of this universal genius, who is lately bewatchings, twitchings of the nerves, and other

come remarkable as the Bobadil of literature, grievous symptoms, which reduced me to a mere was to excel in Pantomine. What was the event ? shadow. At length, by the interposition of di- -he was damned.-Mr. Cross, the prompter, vine Providence, a friend who had himself ex

took great pains to fit him for the part of Orooperienced it, advised me to have recourse to the noko-he was damned.—He attempted Captain reading of the Inspectors. I accordingly took one Blandford-be was damned.—He acted Constant of them, and the effect it had upon me was such in the Provok'd Wife—he was damned.—He rethat I fell into a profound sleep, which lasted presented the Botanist in Romeo and Juliet, at near six and thirty hours. By this I have at the Little Theatre in the Hay-market, under the tained a more composed habit of body, and I now direction of Mr. The.Cibber—he was damned, Goze away almost all my time, but for fear of a

He appeared in the character of Lothario, at the lethargy, am ordered to take them in smaller celebrated theatre in May-Fair-he was damned quantities. A paragraph at a time now answers

there too. Mr. Cross, however, to alleviate his my purpose, and under Heaven I owe my sleep- misfortune, charitably bestowed upon him a 15th ing powers to the above-mentioned Inspectors. part of his own benefit. See the Gentleman's I look upon them to be a grand soporificum mi- Magazine for last December, and also Woodrabile, very proper to be had in all families. He ward's letter, passim. makes great allowance to those who buy them to

No mortal read.] Notwithstanding this assersell again, or to send abroad to the plantations; tion of Momus, our hero pro eâ quâ est rereand the above fact I am ready to attest whenever cundia, compareth himself to Addison and Steele,

Given under my hand this 4th day which occasioned the following epigram, by the of January, 1753.

right hon. the earl * * * addressed to the right ** Humphrey Roberts, Weaver, in Crispin- honourable G-e D-n.

street, Spital-fields, opposite the White

Art thou not angry, learning's great protector,

To hear that flimsy author, the Inspector, Forges Socrates,] Socrates was the father of the truest philosophy that ever appeared in the world,

Of cant, of puff, that daily vain inditer, and though he has not drawn God's image, which

Call Addison, or Steele, his brother writer? was reserved for the light of the gospel, he has

So a pert H-1 (in Æsop's fabling days) at least given the shadow, which together with

Swoln up with vanity, and self-giv'n praise, his exemplary life, joduces Erasmus to cry out,

To his huge neighbour mountajo might have Suncle Socrates, ora pro nobis ; of Mr. Cibber we

said, shail say nothing, as he has said abundantly “ See, (brother) how We Mountains lift the

head ! enough of himself; but to illustrate the poet's meaning in this passage, it may be necessary to

How great we show! how awful and how high, observe, that when the British worthy was iudis- Amidst these paultry Mounts, that here around posed some time since, the Inspector did not he

us lie.” sitate to prefer him to the god-like ancient phi- And now, reader, please to observe, that since so losopher. Ole, Bollane, cerebri felicem.

ingenious a nobleman hath condescended to take M. MACULARIUS.

notice of his Inspectorship, Mr. Smart doth not Consistencies to fight,] Alluding to his egregious need any apology for the notice he hath also talent at distinctions without a difference.

taken of him, Religious at the last ?] On every Saturday the


called upon.


The trumpet of a base deserted cause,

So long in gross stupidity's extreme,
Damn'd to the scandal of his own applause ; Shall H-ll th’arch-dunce remain o'er every
While thus he stands a general wit confest,

dunce supreme.”
With all these titles, all these talents blest,
Be he by Jove's authority assign'd,
The universal butt of all mankiud."

So spake and ceas'd the joy-exciting god, Mr. Hogarth entertains of our hero's writings, And Jove immediate gave th’assenting nod, may be guessed at, by any one who will take the When Fame her adamantine trump upreard, pleasure of looking at a print called Beer-street, And thus th' irrevocable doom declard.

in which Hillario's critique upon the Royal So" While in the vale perennial fountains flow, ciety is put into a basket directed to the trunkAnd fragrant zephyrs musically blow,

maker in St. Paul's Church-yard. I shall only While the majestic sea from pole to pole, just observe that the same compliment in this In horrible magnificence shall roll,

passage to Mr. Hogarth is reciprocal, and reflects While yonder glorious canopy on high

a lustre on Mr. Garrick, both of them having siShall overhang the curtains of the sky,

milar talents, equally capable of the highest While the gay seasons their due course shall run, elevation, and of representing the ordinary scenes Ruled by the brilliant stars and golden Sun, of life, with the most exquisite humour. While wit and fool antagonists shall be,

Conclusion ] And now, candid reader, MartiAnd sense and taste and nature shall agree, nus Macularius bath attended thee throughout While love shall live, and rapture shall rejoice, the first book of this most delectable poem. As Fed by the notes of Handel, Arne and Boyce, it is not improbable that those will be inquisitive While with joint forceo'er humour's droll domain, after the particulars relating to this thy commenCervantes, Fielding, Lucian, Swift shall reign, tator, be here gives thee notice that he is preparWhile thinking figures from the canvas start, ing for the press, Memoirs of Martinus MaculaAnd Hogarth is the Garrick of his art.

rius, with his travels by sea and land, together

with his flights aerial, and descents subterraNOTES VARIORUM.

neous, &c. And in the mean time he bids thee farewell, until the appearance of the second book

of the Hilliad, of which we will say, speciosa miraThe trumpet, &c.] In a very pleasant account cula promet. And so as Terence says, Vos valete of the riots in Drury-lane play-house, by & plaudite. Henry Fielding, esq. we find the following humorous description of our hero in the character of a trumpeter. “ They all ran away except the trumpeter, who having an empyema in his side, as well as several dreadful bruises on his breech, was taken. When he was JUDGMENT OF MIDAS, brought before Garrick to be examined, he said the ninnies, to whom he had the honour to be

A MASQUE. trumpeter, had resented the use made of the

Auriculas Asini Mida Rex habet. Juv. monsters by Garrick. That it was unfair, that it was cruel, that it was inhuman to employ a man's own subjects against him. That Rich was lawful sovereign over all the monsters in the universe, with much more of the same kind ; all which Garrick seemed to think unworthy of an APOLLO. answer; but when the trumpeter challenged him Pan. as his acquaintance, the chief with great disdain Timolus, God of the Mountain. tumed bis back, and ordered the fellow to be dis- Midas. missed with full power of trumpeting again on CALLIOPE. what side be pleased.” Hillario has since trum- Melpomene. peted in the cause of pantomime, the gaudy sce- AGNO, nery of which with great judgment he dismisses Melince,

two Wood-Nymphs. from the Opera-house, and saith, it is now fixed Satyrs, &c. in its proper place in the theatre. On this occasion, Macularius cannot help exclaiming, “O Shakespear! O Jonson ! rest, rest, perturbed Timolus, Melinoe, and Agno, two Woodspirits.”

nymphs. Handel, Arne, and Boyce,] The first of these gentlemen may be justly looked upon as the Milton of music, and the talents of the two latter Agno, to day we wear our acorn crown, may not improperly be delineated by calling The parsley wreath be thine ; it is most meet them the Drydens of their profession, as they not

We grace the presence of these rival gods only touch the strings of love with exquisite art, with all the honours of our woodland weeds. but also, when they please, reach the truly su- Thine was the task, Melinoe, to prepare blime.

The turf-built theatre, the buxen bow's, Hogarth is the Garrick, &c.] The opinion which And all the sylvan scenery.






That such an ampire shou'd be equitable,
That task,

Unless he guess at justice.
Sire of these shades, is done. On yester eve,
Assisted by a thousand friendly fays

While fav'ring Dian held her glitt'ring lamp,

Soft-no more We ply'd our nightly toils, nor ply'd we long,

'Tis ours to wish for Pan, and fear from Phæbus, For art was not the mistress of our revels, Whose near approach I hear. Ye stately cedars, 'Twas gentle Nature, whom we jointly woo'd ; Porth from your summits bow your awful heads, She heard, and yielded to the forms we taught And reverence the gods. Let my whole mounher,

tain tremble, Yet still remain'd herself - Simplicity, Not with a fearful, but religious awe, Fair Nature's genuine daughter, too was there,

And holiness of borror. You, ye winds, So soft, yet so magnificent of mien,

That make soft, solemn music'mongst the leaves, She shone all ornament without a gem.

Be all to stillness bush'd; and thou, their echo, The blithsome Flora, ever sweet and young,

Listen, and hold thy peace; for see they come. Offer'd her various store : we cull'd a few To robe, and recommend our darksome verdure,

Scene opens, and discovers Apollo, attended by But shunn'd to be luxuriant.

Clio and Melpomene, on the right hand of

Midas, and Pan on the left, whom Timolus, with

Agno and Melinoe, join.
It was well.

Agno, thy looks are pensive : what dejects
Thy pleasure-painted aspect ? Sweetest nymph, Begin, celestial candidates for praise,
That ever trod the turf, or sought the shade, Begin the tuneful contest: I, mean while,
Speak, nor conceal a thought.

With heedful notice and attention meet,

Will weigh your merits, and decide your cause.

King of the woods,
I tremble for the royal arbiter.

From Jove begin the rapturous song, 'Tis hard to judge, whene'er the great contend, To him our earliest lays beloug, Sure to displease the vanquish'd : when such We are his offspring all; Contest the laurel with such ardent strife,(pow'rs "Twas he, whose looks supremely bright, 'Tis not the sentence of fair equity,

Smil'd darksome chaos into light, Bu. 'tis their pleasure that is right or wrong.

And fram'd this glorious ball.


Sylvanus, in his shadowy grove,
The seat of rural peace and love,

Attevds my Doric Jays;
By th' altar on the myrtle mount, [fount,
Where plays the wood-nymph’s favourite

I'll celebrate his praise.


'Tis well remark'd, and on experience founded.
I do remember that my sister Ida
(When as on her own shadowy mount we met,
To celebrate the birth-day of the Spring,
And th’orgies of the May) wou'd oft recount
The rage of the indignant goddesses,
When shepherd Paris to the Cyprian queen,
With hand obsequious gave the golden toy.
Heav'n's queen, the sister and the wife of Jove,
Rag'd like a feeble mortal; fall’n she seem'd,
Her deity in human passions lost :
Ev'n wisdom's goddess, jealous of her form,
Deem'd her own attribute her second virtue.
Both vow'd and sought revenge.


If such the fate
Of him who judg'd aright, what must be his
Who shall mistake the cause? for much I doubt
The skill of Midas, since his fata) wish, [gift.
Which Bacchus heard, and curs'd him with the
Yet grant him wise, to err is human still,
And mortal is the consequence.

Parnassus, where's thy boasted height,
Where, Pegasus, thy fire and flight,
Where all your thoughts so bold and free,
Ye daughters of Mnemosyne?
If Pan o'er Phæbus can prevail,
And the great god of verse shou'd fail?


From Nature's works, and Nature's laws,
We find delight, and seek applause;
The prattling streams and zephyrs bland,
And fragrant flow'rs by zeplıyrs fann'd,
The level lawns and buxom bow'rs,
Speak Nature and her works are ours.


Most trne.
Besides, I fear him partial; for with Pan
He tends the sheep-walks all the live-Jong day,
And on the braky lawn to the shrill pipe
In aukward gambols be affects to dance,
Or tumbles to the tabortis not likely

What were all your fragrant bow'rs,
Splendid days, and happy hours,
Spring's verdant robe, fair Flora's blush,
And all the poets of the bush?
What the paintings of the grove,
Rural music, mirth and love?



Life and erry joy wou'd pall,
If Phæbus shone not on them all.

Enter two Satyrs, and crown Midas with a pair

of ass's ears.
We chant to Phæbus, king of day, Such rural honours all the gods decree,
The morning and the evening lay,

To those who sing like Pan, and judge like thee, But Pan, each satyr, nymph and fawn,

[Exeunt omnes. Adore as laureat of the lawn; From peevish March to joyous June, He keeps our restless souls in tune, Without his oaten reed and song,

REASON AND IMAGINATION. Phæbus, thy days wou'd seem too long.


IMAGINATION, in the flight
Am I not he, who, prescient from on high, Of young desire and gay delight,
Send a long look thro’all futurity?

Began to think upon a mate;
Am I not he, to whom alone belong

As weary of a single state ;
The powers of med'ciae, melody and song? For sick of change, as left at will,
Diffusely lib'ral, as divinely bright,

And cloy'd with entertainment still,
Eye of the universe and sire of light.

She thought it better to be grave,
To settle, to take up, and save.

She therefore to her chamber sped,
O’er cots and vales, and every shepherd swain,

And thus at first attir'd her head. In peaceable pre-eminence I reign;

Upon her hair, with brilliants grac'd, With pipe on plain, and nymph in secret grove,

Her tow'r of beamy gold she placd; The day is music, and the night is love.

Her ears with pendent jewels glow'd 1, blest with these, nor envy nor desire

Of various water, curious mude, Thy gaudy chariot, or thy golden lyre.

As nature sports the wintry ice,

In many a whimsical device.

Her eye-brows arch'd upon the stream
Soon as the dawn dispels the dark,

Of rays, beyond the piercing beam ;
Illustrious Phæbus 'gins t'appear,

Her cheeks in matchless colour high,

She veild to fix the gazer's eye;
Proclaimed by the herald lark,
And ever-wakeful chanticleer,

Her paps, as white as fancy draws,

She cover'd with a crimson gauze; The Persian pays his morning vow,

And on her wings she threw perfume And all the turban'd easterns bow.

From buds of everlasting bloom,

Her zone, ungirded from her vest,

She wore across her swelling breast;
Soon as the evening shades advance, On which, in gems, this verse was wrought,

And the gilt glow-worm glitters fair, “I make and shift the scenes of thought."
For rustic gambol, gibe and dance,

In her right hand a wand she held,
Fawns, nymphs and dryads all prepare, Which magic's utmost pow'r excell'd;
Pan shall bis swains from toil relieve, And in her left retain'd a chart,
And rule the revels of the eve.

With figures far surpassing art,

Of other natures, suns and moons,

Of other moves to higher tunes.
In numbers as smooth as Callirhoe's stream, The sylphs and sylphids, fleet as light,
Glide the silver ton’d verse when Apollo's the The fairies of the gamesome night,

The muses, graces, all attend
While on his own mount Cyparissus is seen,

Her service, to her journey's end: And Daphne preserves her immutable green. And Fortune, soinetimes at her hand, We'll hail Hyperion with transport so lung,

Is now the fav'rite of her band, Th’inventor, the patron, and subject of song.

Dispatch'd before the news to bear,

And all th' adventure to prepare.

Beneath an holm-tree's friendly shade,
While on the calm ocean the balcyon shall breed, Was Reason's little cottage made;
And Syrinx shall sigh with her musical reed,

Before, a river deep and still;

fairies, and satyrs, and fawns shall approve Behind, a rocky soaring hill. The music, the mirth, and the life of the grove,

Himself, adorn'd in seemly plight, So long shall our Pan be than thou more divine,

Was reading to the eastern light; For he shall be rising when thou shalt decline,

And ever, as he meekly knelt,

Upon the Book of Wisdom dwelt.

The spirit of the shifting wheel,
No more-To Pan and to his beauteous nymphs

Thus first essay'd bis pulse to feel.

“ The nymph suprenie o'er works of wit, I do adjudge the prize, as is most due,

O'er la bour'd plan, and lucky bit,

Is coming to your homely cot,

Praise him, arch-angelic band, To call you to a nobler lot;

Ye that in his presence stand; I, Fortune, promise wealth and pow'r,

Praise him, ye that watch and pray,
By way of matrimonial dowr:

Michael's myriads in array.
Preferment crowns the golden day,
When fair occasion leads the way.”

Praise him, Sun at each extreme,
Thus spake the frail, capricious dame,

Orient streak, and western beam; When she that sent the message came.-

Moon and stars of mystic dance, “ From first invention's highest sphere,

Silv'ring in the blue expanse. I, queen of innag'ry, appear;

Praise him, () ye heights that suar And throw myself at Reason's feet,

Heav'n and Heav'n for evermore ; Upon a weighty point to treat.

And ye streams of living rill
You dwell alone, and are too grave;

Higher yet and purer still.
You make yourself too much a slave;
Your shrewd deductions run a length,

Let them praise his glorious name,

From whose fruitful word they came; 'Till all your spirits waste their strength: Your fav'rite logic is full close;

And they first began to be Your morals are to much a dose;

As he gave the great decree.
You ply your studies 'till you risk

Their constituent parts he founds
Your senses--you should be more brisk- For duration without bounds;
The doctors soon will find a flaw,

And their covenant has seal'd,
And lock you up in chains and straw.

Which shall never be repeal'd. But, if you are inclin'd to take

Praise the Lord on earth's domains; The gen'rous offer which I make,

Praise, ye mutes, that sea contains ; I'll lead you from this hole and ditch,

They that on the surface leap,
To gay conception's top-most pitch;

And the dragons of the deep.
To those bright plains, where crowd in swarms
The spirits of fantastic forms;

Batt'ring hail, and fires that glow,
To planets populous with elves;

Streaming vapours, plumy snow; To natures still above themselves,

Wind and storm, his wrath incurr'd By soaring to the wond'rous height

Wing'd and pointed at his word. Of notions, which they still create ;

Mountains of enormous scale, I'll bring you to the pearly cars,

Every hill and every vale ; By dragons drawn, above the stars;

Fruit trees of a thousand dies,
To colours of Arabian glow;

Cedars that perfume the skies !
And to the heart-dilating show
Of paintings, which surmount the life:

Beasts that haunt the woodland maze, At once your tut'ress, and your wife.”

Nibbling flocks and droves that graze; -“ Soft, soft.” (says Reason) “lovely friend ; | Feather d millions form'd for speed.

Reptiles of amphibious breed,
Tho' to a parley I attend,
I cannot take thee for a mate;

Kings, with Jesus for their guide,
I'm lost, if e'er I change my state.

Peopled regions far and wide; But whensoe'er your raptures rise,

Heroes of their country's cause,
I'll try to come with my supplies;

Princes, judges of the laws.
To muster up my sober aid,
What time your lively pow'rs invade;

Age and childbood, youth and maid, To act conjointly in the war

To his name your praise be paid;

For his word is worth alone
On dulness, whom we both abhor;

Far above his crown and throne,
And ev'ry sally that you make,
I must be there, for conduct's sake;

He shall dignify the crest
Thy correspondent, thine ally;

Of his people, rais'd and blest; Or any thing, but bind and tye

While we serve with praise and pray'rs, But, ere this treaty be agreed,

All in Christ his saints and heirs.
Give me thy wand and winged steed:
Take thou this compass and this rule,
That wit may cease to play the fool;
And that thy rot’ries who are born

ODE TO LORD BARNARD, Fur praise, may never sink to scorn.”

ON HIS ACCESSION TO THAT TITI... Sis licet felix ubicunque mavis, Et memor nostri.


Melromene, who charm'st the skies,

Queen of the lyre and lute, HALLELUJAH! kneel and sing

Say, shall my noble patron rise, Praises to the heav'nly King ;

And thou, sweet Muse, be mute? To the God supremely great,

Shall fame, to celebrate his praise, Hallelujah in the height.

Her loudest, loftiest accents raise,

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