tite by a stunning blow on the head. "Look out!" said William; "there's rules against knocking off any specimens."

Farther on they came to a large pillar which was formed by the joining together of a huge stalactite and a corresponding stalagmite. "See," says William, "this is the stalagmite, and this" (pointing to the ceiling) "is the stalactite; where they join they are mitetite" (mighty tight).

Proceeding on, they came to the Altar. It was here that a young lady was married, who, to save her fortune, had faithfully promised that she would never marry a certain young gentleman on the face of the earth. Accordingly she married him under the face of the earth. William observed that this was "running matrimony into the ground."

A GENTLEMAN in Detroit contributes the following:

"Among our best citizens in Detroit is Robert ———, wha cam' here frae Scotland mony years ago, and brought wi' him and still retains an unco feck o' the peculiarities o' his countrymen. Ae day he gae testimony in a case which was flatly contradicted by anither witness. Smarting under this, he couldna rest till he tauld his bosom cronie Willie - a' aboot it. Willie gae a sly and canny smirk, and then said, 'I dinna ken, Robin, wha o' the twa swore to the truth; but ae thing I do ken -if it was ye who swore to the lee [lie], ye'll stick till't."

THE Sixth Michigan Cavalry, of the famous Custer Brigade, was commanded by Colonel

formerly a member of the Michigan bar. In the early morning of the last day at Gettysburg, while his regiment, with others, was in line awaiting orders, the men became noisy in their conversation and laughter. Turning nervously to them, the gallant colonel sang out: "Keep silence there!" and added, apologetically: "Not that I care, but it will sound better."

OUR friend Mr. Hovey, the clever editor of the Boston Transcript, is thankful to one of his friends for a little anecdote of the Rev. Caleb Bradlee, of Scarborough, who once in a while used to visit Gorham (Maine) Academy, and talk to the boys. They always expected something funny from him, and always got it. Once he said to them, during a certain Democratic Presidency: "If you make good boys, you will make good men. Some of you may make a Washington or a Jefferson, and the Lord knows 'most any of you might make a Polk."

THE anecdote in the April number of the Drawer relating to the opening of a court by a crier, reminds a Boston correspondent of a similar scene which occurred in New Hampshire some years since. The late Arthur Liver

more was the presiding judge, and a crier was officiating for the first time after his appointment, and was not able to repeat the stated form of opening. On his utterly breaking down, the judge said: “Now, Mr. Crier, repeat after me. 'Oyez!" and the crier repeated after the judge, sentence by sentence, through the usual proclamation. Then said the judge, "Now say, 'God save the State."" The crier repeated, "God save the State." The judge added. (sotto voce), "And the crier too."

THE same judge represented the State of New Hampshire in Congress, and having made a brief speech, John Randolph of Roanoke commenced a reply with: "Mr. Speaker, the gentleman from Connecticut, who has just addressed the House," etc. When John Randolph had concluded, Judge Livermore was promptly on his feet, saying, "Mr. Speaker, I wish to reply to the gentleman from Rhode Island." It brought down the House, and the two gentlemen became friends.

WHO is it that invents these things? Or are they "founded?" This one, for instance, which we came across the other day in the corner of a newspaper, appears to be not only fat with beauty of diction, but covers ever so much ground:

"Ah! Heaven does indeed temper the wind to the shorn lamb," pathetically said old Mrs. Diffendorfer, the other evening, at a tea-drinking, after emptying her twenty-eighth cup of Young Hyson.

"Why, what do you mean ?"

"You know that young widow, Mrs. Biffen, who lives across the street from us? Well, she had nothing but sorrow, trouble, and distress for the past five years. First her father was killed by a burglar; then her mother married a minstrel; after that she had the yellow fever and small-pox together; and next her husband failed,

and she had to take in washing. It was perfectly dreadful. The poor woman nearly went crazy. She was just beginning to bear up a little again, when her brother was sent up to the penitentiary for life; and finally, last month her husband died in a fit, and the very next day her baby choked to death on a gum-drop."

"Gracious! the poor thing!"

"Wasn't it just terrible? Every body believed she'd commit suicide then; and she would have done so, too, but last week somebody providentially coaxed her to go to a church raffle-and what do you all suppose happened? Why, she won a seal-skin sacque!" "You don't mean it ?"

"She did, though-perfectly splendid; came within an inch of the floor. The darkest hour is just before dawn, after all. Now isn't it?"

HERE is an experience which our clerical friends can apply practically to themselves, should a similar exigency arise: An English clergyman recently found he had forgotten to take his written sermon with him. After a pause he said: "I shall preach you a short sermon to-day from these words: 'Man that is born of a woman is but of few days, and full of trouble.'" He then proceeded, without any introductory remarks: "I shall at once divide my subject into three parts: First, man's ingress into the world is naked and bare; secondly,

his progress through the world is with sorrow and care; and thirdly, his egress out of the world is nobody knows where. In applying my subject I would remind you, my brethren, that if you live well here, you will do well there. And I can't tell you better if I preach for a year."

A "WOMAN'S Suffrage" Convention was held several years ago in the town of Washington, Litchfield County, Connecticut, by three wellknown ladies, prominent leaders in the cause. After the meeting had proceeded for a while, one of the ladies invited any gentleman present, who held opposite views, to state them-"it might bring up a little debate, and add to the interest of the meeting"-to which they would endeavor to reply. After a death-like stillness of a moment or two, an old gentleman, by the name of Jeremiah Peck-well known throughout that part of the county for the interest he took in reforms of all kinds, his somewhat eccentric ways, and a keen wit withal-arose. He didn't know as he had any thing to say on the other side, but in the early part of the world's history woman was given a great many privileges, and it wasn't long before she took advantage of those privileges, and got the men into a good deal of trouble. "Now," said he, "if we grant you these 'new rights,' what guarantee can you give us that you won't get us into any further trouble?" No "reply" was attempted, except the shout from all over the room which greeted him when he took his seat.

This satisfied the attorney that the sympathy of the Court was in behalf of the lady, and he closed his argument by saying, "It does my heart good to believe that this honorable Court, in the exercise of a sound discretion, will not allow the rights of a pure and noble lady to be trampled beneath the cloven feet of a soulless corporation;" and took his seat, as confident that he would get a judgment as ever poor Miss Flite was.

Thereupon the squire rendered the following comprehensive and satisfactory decision. He said: "The plaintiff in this case is a woman, and her counsel has for the last hour touched the sympathy of the Court in her behalf, and I am glad of it; but I think, under the law, that justice is on the side of the bank. I therefore will find in favor of the bank, and let the record show that Mrs. has the full sympathy of the Court."

A CORRESPONDENT at Lynn, Massachusetts,
sends us the following epitaphs:
From a grave-stone at Wendell, Franklin
County, Massachusetts:

Mary Hardy Goss Hill Sawin,
Providence, R. I., 1810 to 1846,
Wendell, 1846 to 1870.

Orphan of Affection and Grief.
Adopted by Aunt and Grandsire,
Nurse of their hospital home,
Wife and Widow those of Dea. Jolin Hills,
Happy wife of Gratitude.

In rural home of Thos. E. Sawin 8 years.
Often prisoner of Calamity & Pain.
Exhile of Inherited Meloncholy 15 years.
Petient waiter on Decay and Death.
Lover of all who love Jesus.

From a grave-stone at Malden, Massachu

RECENTLY a suit was tried before an Indiana justice of the peace wherein a lady was plaintiff, and a bank, defendant. The evidence showed conclusively that the fair plaintiff had no right to recover; of this no one could have the "shadow of a doubt." Her learned counsel knew well that unless he could get the sympathy of the "squire," his client would have a "lost cause." He therefore labored hard in applying the "sympathetic process." He gushed with eloquence of great warmth in referring to his client's rights, until finally great tears came trickling down his cheeks, at the sight of which the justice (who was a very tenderhearted individual) was also moved to tears.

Miss Phebe Sprague

Died in 1805,

in the 16th year of her age.

Natively quick and spry,

As all young people be,

When God commands them down to dust,
How quick they drop, you see.

THIS, from a Cincinnati correspondent, is very neat:

Apropos of the sayings of the little ones, I am reminded of an incident which touched me very much at the time, and may find a respousive chord in the hearts of some who are parents.

"I was sitting on my porch of a pleasant summer morning, when up runs little five-yearold Belle, intent on a visit to a playmate across the way.

"Papa,' she asks, 'may I go over and play with Carrie a while?' and then, as she seemed to discern a dissent in my face, she put her little rose-bud lips to mine, and quickly added: 'Please don't say No-think a minute first!'

"Was there ever a more charming protest against a hasty and inconsiderate answer? Of course the little girl had her wish. We are

them. And when their little appeals come, before letting the No rise too quickly to our lips, let us think a minute."

To such of our well-meaning but oversanguine countrymen as bother our consuls abroad about their genealogical trees, imaginary family crests, ancestral wealth, etc., etc., the following decisive and incisive official report comes with admonition all the way from "Nuremberg the ancient:"

It seems that some months ago a professional gentleman of no mean pretensions applied to our consul at Nuremberg to look up or into the present condition of certain ancestral estates and unclaimed legacies said to have been left by the applicant's grandfather, who had died, many years ago, within the limits of the afore-mentioned consular district. This par

fect a final settlement as the representative of the sole heirs. Partly owing to the standing of the applicant, the consul thought possibly there might be something in it, so he did give it his "immediate attention;" and after much correspondence, delay, and at a cost of some ten dollars out of the consul's own pocket, the final report came from the Landgericht (Surrogate's Court) having jurisdiction-a formidablelooking document, with seals, ribbons, etc. After the usual compliments, the royal Bavarian judge informed the consul literally as follows: "You can say to your client A B that his paternal ancestor C D was well known in the community where he lived and died. During his entire life he was a pauper; he died a pauper, and was buried by public charity."

THEY are so precocious in the neighborhood of Worcester, Massachusetts!

"My little seven-yearold girl," writes a friend, 66 was in the sitting-room alone with her uncle, and dreamily looking from the window. Without turning her head, she said, 'Uncle Horace, eight and seven make fifteen, don't they?' He replied that she was right. Then,' said she, in half soliloquy, 'it is only eight years before I shall have a beau, and, oh! I dread it.'"

[He never told his love.

PERHAPS the following, from a Newark (New Jersey) correspondent, may have been suggested by the recent fine show of dogs at Gilmore's Garden:

"I have a little daughter of six summers," he writes, "who recently had a slight cold, and was kept in the house a day or two as a matter of prudence. A few days after, she said to her mother, 'I know why I did not die when I was sick: because, when you were out of the room, I prayed to God, and asked Him to let me live; I told Him I wanted to see more of the new pup, and had lots of things I wanted to do.'"