Beyond all patience vex'd, he said although
I bullets want, myself will wound the foe;
Then from his mouth, took he a tooth and sent,
A fatall message to their regiment,
What armes will fury steed men with, when we
Can from our selves have such artillerie ;
Sampson thy jaw bone can no trophy reare
Equall to his, who made his tooth his speare.
Why doth the world repute Aurispa learn'd?
Because she gives men what they never earn'd.
84. On Alexander the great.
If Alexander thought the world but small
Because his conquering hand subdu'd it all,
He should not then have stil'd himselfe the great,
An Infants stool can be no giants seat.
Fuscus was councell'd if he would preserve
His eyes in perfect sight drinking to swerve;
But he reply'd 'tis better that I shu'd
Loose them, then keep them for the worms as food.
86. On an inevitable Cuckold.
Two wives th' hast buried and another wed,
Yet neither of the three chaste to thy bed,
Wherefore thou blam'st not onely them, but all
Their Sex into disgrace and scorn dost call,
Yet if the thing thou wilt consider well,
Thou wilt thy malice, and this rage expell,
For when the three were all alike 't should seem
Thy stars gave thee the Cuckolds anadem,
If thou wert born to be a wittoll, can
Thy wife prevent thy fortune? foolish man!
That woman which a Hellen is to thee,
Would prove another mans Penelope.
87. On the ensuring office.
Linus met Thuscus on the burse by chance,
And swore he'd drink a health to th'heir of France
For on th❜exchange for currant news 'twas told
France had a Daulphin not yet seaven dayes old,
Thuscus excus'd himselfe, and said he must
By all meanes go to th'ensuring office first,
And so ensure some goods, he doubted were,
Unlikely else e're to his hands appeare,
Linus reply'd, Ile with thee then, for I
Would have my lands ensur'd to me in fee
Which otherwise I doubt, I never shall
From debt and morgage ere redeem at all.
Clodius great cheer for supper doth prepare, Buyes Chickens, Rabbets, Phesants, and a hare,
Great store of fowl, variety of fish,
And tempting sawce serv'd in, in every dish,
To this great feast, whom doth he meane t'envite, Albinus onely sups with him to night.
That poetry is good and pleasing thou dost cry, Yet know'st not when 'tis right or when awry Thou know'st great Ovids censure to abstaine From pleasing good, is vertue's chiefest aime.
90. Of one praising my book.
Harpax doth praise my book I lately writ,
Saith it is short and sweet, and full of wit;
I knew his drift, and sayd be silent pray,
For in good fayth, I've given 'em all away.
Women are bookes, and men the readers be,
In whom oft times they great Errata's see;
Here sometimes wee a blot, there wee espy
A leafe misplac'd, at least a line awry;
If they are books, I wish that my wife were
An Almanacke, to change her every yeare.
Nature's Idea, phisicks rare perfection.
Cold rheumes expeller and the wits direction,
O had the gods known thy immortall smack
The heavens ere this time had been colored black.
93. On a beloved lye.
I hate a lye, and yet a lye did run
Of noble Goring's death and Kensington,
And for that they did not untimely dye,
I love a lye, because that was a ly,
For had it been an accident of ruth
'T had made me grow in hatred of the truth, Though lyes be bad, yet give this lye it's due, 'Tis ten times better, then if't had been true.
Am I an instrument to make you sport,
A fiddle-stick I am, ye shan't report
That ere yee hand'led me in such a case;
To make me strike up fiddles mean and base,
Nay you shall never bend me to your bow
It goeth against the haire you should do so,
Nor shall you curbe me in, thus every day,
I'le but my pleasure, I was made to play,
But here I must not play upon another,
Why have I then a fiddle fór my brother?
If I were gon, you'd be compel'd my freinds
To made your musique on your fingers ends:
My brother fiddle is so hollow-hearted
That ere't be long, we must needs be parted,
And with so many frets he doth abound
That I can never touch him but he'l sound:
When he's reviv'd, this poore excuse he puts,
That when I play, I vex him to the guts;
But since it is my nature, and I must,
I'le crowd and scrape acquaintance for a crust;
I am a genteman of high descent,
Come from Apollos glorious element;
Above the bridge I alwayes use to keep,
And that's my proper spheare when I do sleep,
So that I cannot be in tune or town,
For all my scraping, if the bridge be down;
But since without an end, nought can endure,
A fiddle-stick hath two ends to be sure.
On hopes of preferment.
I saw my fortune goe before,
As Palinurus saw the shore,
If that I dye, before it hitch,
Wel-fare mine eyes for they are rich.
96. On a gentleman that married an heire privately at the Tower.
The angry Father hearing that his childe,
Was stoln, married, and his hopes beguild;
('Cause his usurious nature had a thought
She might have bin to greater fortunes brought)
With rigid looks, bent brows, and words austere
Ask'd his forc'd son in law, how he did dare
(Without a full consenting from him carried)
Thus beare his onely daughter to be married,
And by what Cannons he assum'd such power?
He said, the best in England sir, the Tower.
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