Cow-heels she answer'd, and a breast of Mutton;
But quoth the Welsh-man, since I am no glutton;
Either of both shall serve; to night the breast,
The heels i'th morning, then light meat is best;
At night he took the brest, and did not pay,
I'th morning took his heels, and run away.

414. On Men and Women.

Ill thrives the haplesse family that shows
A cock that's silent, and a hen that crows:
I know not which lives more unnaturall lives,
Obeying Husbands, or commanding Wives,

415. On Linus.

Linus told me of Verses that he made,
Riding to London on a trotting Jade;

I should have known, had he conceal'd the case,
Even by his Verses of his Horses pace.

416. Sauce for sorrows.

Although our sufferings meet with no relief,
An equall mind is the best sauce for grief.

417. On a little diminutive band.

What is the reason of God-dam-me's band,

Inch-deep, and that his fashion doth not alter? God-dam-me saves a labour, understand,

In pulling't off when he puts on the halter.

418. On fine apparell.

Some that their wives may neat and cleanly go,
Do all their substance upon them bestow :
But who a Gold-finch fain would make his wife,
Makes her perhaps a Wag-tail all her life.

419. Vpon Conscience.

Many men this present age dispraise,

And think men have small conscience now adays;
But sure, I'l lay no such fault to their charge,
I rather think their conscience is too large.

420. Dicta prædicta.

Buttus breaks jests on any thing that's spoken,
Provided alwayes, they before are broken.

421. On Vmber.

Vmber was painting of a lyon fierce,

And working it, by chance from Vmbers Erse
Flew out a crack, so mighty, that the fart,
(As Vmber swears) did make his Lyon start.

422. In Cornutum.

Cornutus call'd his wife both whore and slut, Quoth she, you'l never leave your brawling butBut what quoth he? quoth she, the post or door, you have horns to butt, if I'me a whore.

For

423. A witty passage.

An old man sitting at a Christmasse feast,
By eating Brawn occasioned a jest ;

For whilst his tongue and gums chased about,
For want of pales the chased bore broke out;
And lights perchance upon a handsome lasse,
That neer him at the Table placed was ;

Which when she spy'd, she pluck'd out of her sleeve
A pin, and did it to the old man give ;
Saying, sith your brawn out of your mouth doth slip,
Sir take this pin, and therewith close your lip;
And bursting into laughter, strain'd so much,
As with that strain her back-part spake low-dutch :
Which th'old man hearing, did the pin restore;
And bad her therewith close her postern door.

Cob clouts his shooes, and as the story tels,
His thumb-nayls par'd afford him sparables.

425. Omnia pariter.

Ralph reads a line or two, and then cryes mew;
Deeming all else according to those few;
Thou might'st have thought and prov'd a wiser Lad,
(As Foan her fooding bought) some good, some bad.

426. A new marryed Bride.

The first of all our sex came from the side of Man, I thither am return'd from whence I came.

A pudding hath two ends? you lye my brother, For it begins at one, and ends at th'other.

429. Si nihil attuleris, ibis, &c.
Planus, an honest swaine, but moneylesse,
Besought a Lawyer to be good unto him,
Who either (gratis) must his cause redresse,
Or promise what he never meant to do him.
Being asked why he careless lingred it?
Made this reply, Ex nihilo nihil fit.

430. On Maids.

Most maids resemble Eve now in their lives, Who are no sooner women, then th'are wives; As Eve knew no man, ere fruit wrought her wo; So these have fruit oft e're their husbands know.

Now Martha married is, shee'l brave it out,
Though ne'r so needy known to all about;
And reason good, she rise once in her life,
That fell so oft before she was a wife.

432.

On a Man whose choyce was to be hang'd or marry,

M. Lo here's the Bride, and there's the Tree,

Take which of these best liketh thee.

R. The choice is bad on either part,

The woman's worst, drive on the cart.

Were women as little as they are good,

A Pescod would make them a gown and a hood.

434. On a Louse.

A louse no reason hath to deal so ill,

With them of whom she hath so much her will;
She hath no tongue to speak ought in their praise,
But to backbite them, finds a tongue alwayes.

435. A Courtier and a Scholler meeting.
A Courtier proud walking along the street,
Hap'ned by chance a Scholler for to meet :
The Courtier said (minding nought more then place)
Unto the Scholler (meeting face to face)

To take the wall, base men I'l not permit ;
The Scholler said, I will, and gave him it.

436. Cede majoribus.

I took the wall, one rudely thrust me by,
And told me the high-way did open ly,