Slen. So I do, Sir.

Eva. Give ear to his motions, master Slender: I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.

Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray you pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here.

Eva. But that is not the question: the question is concerning your marriage.

Shal. Ay, there's the point, Sir.

Eva. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to mistress Anne Page.

Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable demands.

Eva. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to know that of your mouth, or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold, that the lips is parcel of the mouth: therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid?

Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her? Slen. I hope, Sir, I will do as it shall become one that would do reason.

Eva. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies, you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her.

Shal. That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her?

Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason.

Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do, is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid?

Slen. I will marry her, Sir, at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married, and have more occasion to know one another: I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you say, "Marry her," I will marry her; that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.

Eva. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the faul' is in the 'ort "dissolutely:" the 'ort is, according to our meaning, "resolutely."-His meaning is goot. Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well.

Slen. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la. Shal. Here comes fair mistress Anne.-[Re-enter ANNE PAGE.] Would I were young for your sake,

mistress Anne!

Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships' company.

Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne. Eva. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace. [Exeunt SHALLOW and Sir H. EVANS.

Anne. Will't please your worship to come in, Sir? Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.

Anne. The dinner attends you, Sir.

Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth.Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon my cousin Shallow. [Exit SIMPLE.] A justice of peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for a man.-I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead; but what though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born.

Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit, till you come.

Slen. I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did.

Anne. I pray you, Sir, walk in.

Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you. I

41

SCENE III.-A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter FALSTAFF, Host, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL, and ROBIN.

Fal. Mine host of the Garter,— Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak scholarly and wisely.

Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers.

Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot.

Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week.

Host. Thou'rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector?

Fal. Do so, good mine host.

Host. I have spoke; let him follow.-Let me see thee froth and lime: I am at a word; follow. [Exit.

young man; go into this closet: he will not stay long. [Shuts SIMPLE in the Closet.] What, John Rugby! John, what, John, I say! Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt, he be not well, that he comes not home. [Exit RUGBY.] [Sings.] "And down, down, adown-a," &c.

Enter Doctor CAIUS.

Caius.. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys. Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier verd; a box, a green-a box: do intend vat I speak? a green-a box.

Quick. Ay, forsooth; I'll fetch it you. [Aside.] I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad.

Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m'en vais à la cour,-la grande affaire.

Quick. Is it this, Sir?

--but notwithstanding,-to tell you in your ear,-I would have no words of it,-my master himself is in love with mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind; that's neither here nor there.

Caius You jack'nape, give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I vill cut his troat in de park; and I vill teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make.-You may be gone; it is not good you tarry here:-by gar, I vill cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to trow at his dog. [Exit SIMPLE. Quick. Alas! he speaks but for his friend. Caius. It is no matter-a for dat:-do not you tell-a me, dat I shall have Anne Page for myself?— By gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jarretière to measure our weapon.-By gar, I vill myself have Anne

Rug. Here, Sir.

Re-enter RUGBY.

Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court.

Rug. 'Tis ready, Sir, here in the porch.

Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long.-Od's me! Qu'ai-je oublié? dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for de varld I shall leave behind.

Quick. [Aside.] Ah me! he'll find the young man there, and be mad.

Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks leave to prate: what, the good-jer!

Caius. Rugby, come to the court vit me.-By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door.-Follow my heels, Rugby.

[Exeunt CAIUS and RUGBY. Quick. You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven.

Fent. [Within.] Who's within there? ho!
Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the

Quick. Good master, be content.

Caius. Verefore shall I be content-a? Quick. The young man is an honest man. Caius. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet. Quick. I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from parson Hugh.

Caius. Vell.

Sim. Ay, forsooth; to desire her to-
Quick. Peace, I pray you.

Caius. Peace-a your tongue!-Speak-a your tale. Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anne Page for my master, in the way of marriage.

Quick. This is all, indeed, la; but I'll ne'er put my finger in the fire, and need not.

Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you?-Rugby, baillez me some paper.-Tarry you a little-a while.

[Writes.

Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so loud, and so melancholy.-But, notwithstanding, man, I'll do your master what good I can: and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master, I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself;

Sim. 'Tis a great charge to come under one body's hand.

Quick. Are you avis'd o' that? you shall find it a great charge: and to be up early and down late;

Enter FENTON.

Fent. How now, good woman! how dost thou? Quick. The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.

Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Anne?

Quick. In truth, Sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it.

Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I not lose my suit?

Quick. Troth, Sir, all is in his hands above: but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you.-Have not your worship a wart above your eye?

Fent. Yes, marry, have I; what of that?

Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale.-Good faith, it is such another Nan;-but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread:-we had an hour's talk of that wart.—I shall never laugh but in that maid's company;-but, indeed, she is given too much to allicholly and musing. But for you-well, go to.

Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if thou seest her before me, commend me

Quick. Will I? i' faith, that we will: and I will tell your worship more of the wart, the next time we have confidence; and of other wooers.

Fent. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now. Quick. Farewell to your worship.-[Exit FENTON.] Truly, an honest gentleman: but Anne loves him not; for I know Anne's mind as well as another does.—Out upon't! what have I forgot?

[Exit.

ACT II..

SCENE I.-Before PAGE's House. Enter Mistress PAGE, with a Letter. Mrs Page. What! have I 'scaped love-letters in the holyday time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them? Let me see. [Reads.

"Ask me no reason why I love you; for though love use reason for his precision, he admits him not for his counsellor. You are not young, no more am I; go to then, there's sympathy: you are merry, so am I; ha, ha! then, there's more sympathy: you love sack, and so do I; would you desire better sympathy? Let it suffice thee, mistress Page, at the least, if the love of a soldier can suffice,-that I love thee. I will not say, Pity me,-'tis not a soldier-like phrase; but I say, Love me. By me,

Thine own true knight,

By day or night,

Or any kind of light,

With all his might

For thee to fight,

JOHN FALSTAFF."

What a Herod of Jewry is this!-O wicked, wicked world!-one that is well-nigh worn to pieces with age, to show himself a young gallant! What an unweighed behaviour hath this Flemish drunkard picked--with the devil's name-out of my conversation, that he dares in this manner assay me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my company!What should I say to him?-I was then frugal of my mirth-heaven forgive me!-Why, I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament for the putting down of men. How shall I be revenged on him? for revenged I will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings. Enter Mistress FORD.

Mrs Ford. Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your house.

Mrs Page. And, trust me, I was coming to you. You look very ill.

Mrs Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that: I have to show to the contrary.

Mrs Page. Faith, but you do, in my mind. Mrs Ford. Well, I do then; yet, say, I could show you to the contrary. O, mistress Page! give me some counsel.

Mrs Page. What's the matter, woman?

Mrs Ford, O woman! if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honour.

Mrs Page. Hang the trifle, woman! take the honour. What is it?-dispense with trifles;-what is it?

Mrs Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment or so, I could be knighted.

Mrs Page. What?-thou liest.-Sir Alice Ford! -These knights will hack; and so, thou shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry.

Mrs Ford. We burn daylight:-here, read, read; -perceive how I might be knighted.-I shall think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of men's liking: and yet he would not swear, praised women's modesty, and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his disposition would have gone to the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere and keep place together, than the hundredth psalm to the tune of "Green Sleeves." What tempest, I trow, threw, this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I think, the best way were to entertain him with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own grease.-Did you ever hear the like?

Mrs Page. Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and Ford differs!-To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin-brother, of thy letter: but let thine inherit first; for, I protest, mine never shall. I warrant, he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for different names, sure, more,-and these are of the second edition. He will print them, out of doubt; for he cares not what he puts into the press, when he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess, and lie under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles, ere one chaste man.

Mrs Ford. Why, this is the very same; the very hand, the very words. What doth he think of us?

Mrs Page. Nay, I know not: it makes me almost ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain myself like one that I am not acquainted withal; for, sure, unless he know some strain in me, that I know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury.

Mrs Ford. Boarding, call you it? I'll be sure to keep him above deck.

Mrs Page. So will I: if he come under my hatches, I'll never to sea again. Let's be revenged on him: let's appoint him a meeting; give him a show of comfort in his suit; and lead him on with a fine-baited delay, till he hath pawned his horses to mine host of the Garter.

Mrs Ford. Nay, I will consent to act any villainy against him, that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. O, that my husband saw this letter! it would give eternal food to his jealousy.

Mrs Page. Why, look, where he comes; and my good man too: he's as far from jealousy, as I am from giving him cause; and that, I hope, is an unmeasurable distance.

Mrs Ford. You are the happier woman. Mrs Page. Let's consult together against this greasy knight. Come hither. [They retire.

Enter FORD, PISTOL, PAGE, and NYM.
Ford. Well, I hope, it be not so.
Pist. Hope is a curtail dog in some affairs:
Sir John affects thy wife.

Ford. Why, Sir, my wife is not young.
Pist. He wooes both high and low, both rich and
poor,

Both young and old, one with another, Ford:
He loves the gally-mawfry; Ford, perpend.
Ford. Love my wife?

Pist. With liver burning hot: prevent, or go thou,
Like Sir Action he, with Ring-wood at thy heels.
O, odious is the name!

Ford. [Aside.] 'Twas a good sensible fellow:-well. Page. How now, Meg!

Mrs Page. Whither go you, George?-Hark you, Mrs Ford. How now, sweet Frank! why art thou melancholy?

Ford. I melancholy! I am not melancholy.Get you home, go.

Mrs Ford. 'Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy head now. Will you go, mistress Page?

Mrs Page. Have with you. You'll come to dinner, George? [Aside to Mrs FORD.] Look, who comes yonder: she shall be our messenger to this paltry knight.

Mrs Ford. [Aside to Mrs PAGE.] Trust me, I thought on her: she'll fit it.

Page. Marry, were they.

Ford. I like it never the better for that.-Does he lie at the Garter?

Page. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage towards my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and what he gets more of her than sharp words, let it lie on my head.

Ford. I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be loath to turn them together. A man may be too confident: I would have nothing lie on my head: I cannot be thus satisfied.

Page. Look, where my ranting host of the Garter comes. There is either liquor in his pate, or money in his purse, when he looks so merrily.-[Enter Host.] How now, mine host!

Host. How now, bully-rook! thou'rt a gentleman.-Cavalero-justice, I say!

Enter SHALLOW.

Shal. I follow, mine host, I follow.-Good even, and twenty, good master Page! Master Page, will you go with us? we have sport in hand.

Host. Tell him, cavalero-justice; tell him, bullyrook.

Shal. Sir, there is a fray to be fought between Sir Hugh, the Welsh priest, and Caius, the French doctor.

Ford. Good mine host o' the Garter, a word with

you.

Host. What sayest thou, my bully-rook?

[They go aside. Shal. [To PAGE.] Will you go with us to behold it? My merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons; and, I think, hath appointed them contrary places; for, believe me, I hear, the parson is no jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be. [They go aside.

Host. Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest-cavalier?

Ford. None, I protest: but I'll give you a pottle of burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him my name is Brook; only for a jest.

Host. My hand, bully: thou shalt have egress and regress; said I well? and thy name shall be Brook. It is a merry knight.-Will you go on, hearts? Shal. Have with you, mine host.

Page. I have heard, the Frenchman hath good skill in his rapier.

In

Shal. Tut, Sir! I could have told you more. these times you stand on distance, your passes, stoccadoes, and I know not what: 'tis the heart, master Page; 'tis here, 'tis here. I have seen the time, with my long sword, I would have made you four tall fellows skip like rats.

Host. Here, boys, here, here! shall we wag? Page. Have with you.-I had rather hear them scold than fight.

[Exeunt HOST, SHALLOW, and PAGE. Ford. Though Page be a secure fool, and stands so firmly on his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off my opinion so easily: she was in his company at Page's house; and what they made there, I know Well, I will look farther into 't; and I have a disguise to sound Falstaff. If I find her honest, I lose not my labour; if she be otherwise, 'tis labour well bestowed. [Exit.

not.

SCENE II.-A Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter FALSTAFF and PISTOL.

Fal. I will not lend thee a penny.
Pist. Why, then the world's mine oyster,
Which I with sword will open.-

I will retort the sum in equipage.

Fal. Not a penny. I have been content, Sir, you should lay my countenance to pawn: I have grated upon my good friends for three reprieves for you and your coach-fellow, Nym; or else you had looked through the grate, like a gemini of baboons. damned in hell for swearing to gentlemen, my friends, you were good soldiers, and tall fellows: and when mistress Bridget lost the handle of her fan, I took 't upon mine honour thou hadst it not.

I am

Pist. Didst thou not share? hadst thou not fifteen pence?

Fal. Reason, you rogue, reason: thinkest thou, I'll endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more about me; I am no gibbet for you:-go.short knife and a throng:-to your manor of Pickthatch, go.-You'll not bear a letter for me, you rogue!--you stand upon your honour!-Why, thou