Sir H. With all my heart, madam—In short, madam, your daughter has used me somewhat too familiarly, though I have treated her like a woman of quality.

Lady D, How, sir ?

Sir H. Why, madam, I have offered her a hundred guineas.

Lady D. A hundred guineas ! Upon what score?

Sir H. Upon what score! Lord, lord, how these old women love to hear bawdy!—Why, 'faith, madam, I have never a double entendre ready at present; but I suppose you


what score. Ang. Hold, sir, stop your abusive tongue, too loose for modest ears to hear—Madam, I did before suspect that his designs were base, now they're too plain ; this knight, this mighty man of wit and humour, is made a tool to a knave-Vizard has sent him on a bully's errand, to affront a woman; but I scorn the abuse, and him that offered it.

Lady D. How, sir, come to affront us! D'ye know who we are, sir?

Sir H. Know who you are! Why, your daughter there is Mr Vizard's-cousin, I suppose. And for you, madam—I suppose your ladyship to be one of those civil, obliging, discreet, old gentlewomen, who keep their visiting days for the entertainment of their presenting friends, whom they treat with imperial tea, a private room, and a pack of cards. Now I suppose you do understand me?

Lady D. This is beyond sufferance ! But say, thou abusive man, what injury have you ever received from me, or mine, thus to engage you in this scandalous aspersion ?

Ang. Yes, sir, what cause, what motives could induce you thus to debase yourself below your rank?

Sir H. Hey-day! Now, dear Roxana, and you, my fair Statira, be not so very heroic in your style: Vizard's letter may resolve you, and answer all the impertinent questions you have made me.

Lady D. and Ang. We appeal to that.

Sir H. And I'll stand to't; he read it to me, and the contents were pretty plain, I thought.

Ang. Here, sir, peruse it, and see how much we are injured, and you deceived.

Sir H. [Opening the Letter.] But hold, madam, [T. LADY DARLING.] before I read I'll make some condition :- Mr Vizard says here, that I won't scruple thirty or forty pieces. Now, madam, if you have clapped in another cypher to the account, and made it three or four hundred, 'egad I'll not stand to’t.

Lady D. The letter, sir, shall answer you.

Sir H. Well then—[Reads.] Out of my earnest inclination to serve your ladyship, and my

cousin Angelica_Ay, ay, the very words, I can say it by heart

I have sent Sir Harry Wildair to—What the devil's this ! - Sent Sir Harry Wildair to court my cousin He read to me quite a different thing-He's a gentleman of great partsand fortune--He's a son of a whore, and a rascal-And would make your daughter very, happy i Whistles.)in a husband.--[Looks foolish, and hums a Song:1-Oh! poor Sir Harry, what have thy angry stars designed ?

Ang. Now, sir, I liope you need no instigation to redress our wrongs, since even the injury points the way.

Lady D. Think, sir, that our blood for many generations has run in the purest channel of unsullied honour. Sir H. Ay, madam.

[Bows to her. Ang. Consider what a tender flower is woman's reputation, which the least air of foul detraction blasts. Sir H. Yes, madam.

[Bows to the other. Lady D. Call then to mind your rude and scandalous behaviour, Sir H. Right, madam.

[Bows again. Ang. Remember the base price you offered me.

[Exit, you for

Sir H. Very true, madam. Was ever man so catechized ?

Lady D. And think that Vizard,--that villain Vizard, -caused all this, yet lives: that's all: farewell.

Sir H. Stay, madam, {To LADY DARLING.) one word; is there no other way to redress your wrongs, but by fighting?

Lady D. Only one, sir; which, if you can think of, you may do : you know the business I entertained

Sir H. I understand you, madam. [Exit LADY DARLING.] Here am I brought to a very pretty di. lemma. I must commit murder, or commit matri. mony; which is the best now? a licence from Doc. tor's Commons, or a sentence from the Old Bailey?

-If I kill my man, the law hangs me; if I marry my woman, I shall hang myself. -But, damn it cowards dare fight :-I'll marry, that's the most daring action of the two.




I was

CLINCHER SENIOR, solus. Clinch. sen. How severe and melancholy are Newa gate reflections! Last week my father died; yesterday I turned beau; to-day I am laid by the heels, and to-morrow shall be hung by the neck. agreeing with a bookseller about printing an account of my journey through France and Italy; but now the history of my travels must be through Holborn to Tyburn.““ The last dying speech of Beau Clincher, that was going to the jubilee.-Come, a halfpenny a-piece.”-A sad sound, a sad sound, 'faith! Tis one way to have a man's death make a great noise in the world.

Enter Tom ERRAND. A reprieve! a reprieve! thou dear, dear-damned rogue. Where have you been? Thou art the most welcome son of a whore;

clothes ? Tom. Sir, I see where mine are. Come, sir, strip, sir, strip.

Clinch. sen. Sir, you cannot master me, for I am twenty thousand strong. [Exeunt, struggling.

where's my



Enter Sır H. WILDAIR, with Cards ; SERVANTS

following Sir H. Here, fly all around, and bear these as directed; you to Westminster, you to St James's, and you into the city. Tell all my friends, a bridegroom's joy invites their presence. Tell them, I am married. If any ask to whom, make no reply; but tell them, that I am married ; that joy shall crown the day, and love the night. Begone, Hy.

Enter ColonEL STANDARD. A thousand welcomes, friend; my pleasure's now complete, since I can share it with my friend: brisk joy shall bound from me to you; then back again ; and, like the sun, grow warmer by reflection.

Colonel S. You are always pleasant, Sir Harry: but this transcends yourself: whence proceeds it?

Sir H. Canst thou not guess, my friend? Whence


man, and

flows all earthly joy? What is the life of man, and soul of pleasure? Woman.- -What fires the heart with transport, and the soul with raptures ?-Lovely

-What is the master-stroke and smile of the creation, but charming, virtuous woman ?-Methinks, my friend, you relish not my joy. What is the cause?

Colonel S. Canst thou notguess ?-What is the bane of

scourge of life, but woman?-What is the heathenish idol man sets up, and is damned for worshipping ? Treacherous woman.-- -Woman, whose composition inverts humanity; their bodies heavenly, but their souls are clay.

Sir H. Come, come, colonel, this is too much; I know your wrongs received from Lurewell may excuse your resentment against her. But it is

unpardonable to charge the failings of a single woman upon the whole sex.

I have found one, whose virtues

Colonel S. So have I, Sir Harry; I have found one whose pride's above yielding to a prince. And if lying, dissembling, perjury, and falsehood, be no breaches in a woman's honour, she is as innocent as infancy.

Sir H. Well, colonel, I find your opinion grows stronger by opposition ; I shall now, therefore, wave the argument, and only beg you for this day to make a show of complaisance at least. Here comes my charming bride.

Enter LADY DARLING and ANGELICA. Colonel S. (Saluting ANGELICA.) I wish you, madam, all the joys of love and fortune.

Enter CLINCHER JUNIOR. Clinch. jun. Gentlemen and ladies, I'm just upon

spur, and have only a minute to take my Sir H. Whither are you bound, sir ?




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