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Colonel S. A mistress ne'er can pall! By all my wrongs he whores her, and I am made their property.
-Vengeance ! -Vizard, you must carry a note for me to Sir Harry.
Vizard. What, a challenge ? I hope you don't design to fight?
Colonel S. What, wear the livery of my king, and pocket an affront? 'Twere an abuse to his sacred majesty: a soldier's sword, Vizard, should start of itself, to redress its master's wrong.
Vizard. However, sir, I think it not proper to carry any such message between friends.
Colonel S. I have ne'er a servant here ; what shall I do?
Vizard. There's Tom Errand, the porter, that plieş at the Blue Posts, one that knows Sir Harry and his haunts
very well ; you may send a note by him. Colonel S. Here, you, friend! [Calling.
Vizurd. I have now some business, and must take my leave; I would advise you, nevertheless, against this affair.
Colonel S. Nowhispering now, nor telling of friends, to prevent us. He that disappoints a man of an honourable revenge, may love him foolishly like a wife, but never value him as a friend. Vizard. Nay, the devil take him that parts you,
. Enter Tom ERRAND. Tom. Did
honour call porter? Colonel S. Is your name Tom Errand ? Tom. People call me so, an't like your worship. Colonel s. D’ye know Sir Harry Wildair?
Tom. Ay, very well, sir; he's one of my best masters; many a round half crown have I had of his worship; he's newly come home from France, sir.
Colonel S. Go to the next coffee-house, and wait for me.
Oh, woman, woman, how blessed is man,
pray, sweet sir ?
when favoured by your smiles, and how accursed when all those smiles are found but wanton baits to sooth us to destruction :
[Excunt. Enter Sır H. WILDAIR, and CLINCHER SENIOR,
following: Clinch. sen. Sir, sir, sir, having some business of ime portance to communicate to you, I would beg your attention to a trifling affair, that I would impart to your understanding.
Sir H. What is your trifling business of importance,
Člinch. sen. Pray, sir, are the roads deep between this and Paris ?
Sir H. Why that question, sir?
Clench. sen. Because I design to go to the jubilee, sir. I understand that you are a traveller, sir; there is an air of travel in the tie of your cravat, sir : there is indeed, sir--I suppose, sir, you bought this lace in Flanders ?
Sir H. No, sir, this lace was made in Norway.
'faith-Lace made of the shavings of deal boards ! 'Egad, sir, you travellers see very strange things abroad, very incredible things abroad, indeed. Well, I'll have a cravat of the very same lace before I come home.
Sir H. But, sir, what preparations have you made for
Clinch. sen. A case of pocket-pistols for the bravos, and a swimming-girdle.
Sir H. Why these, sir ?
Clinch. sen. Oh, lord, sir, I'll tell you-Suppose us in Rome now; away goes I to some ball--for I'll be a miglity beau. Then, as I said, I go to some ball, or some bear-baiting-—'tis all one, you knowthen comes a fine Italian bonu roba, and plucks me by
the sleeve: Signior Angle, Signior Angle_She's a very fine lady, observe that-Signior Angle, says she -Signiora, says I, and trips after her to the corner of a street, suppose it Russel Street, here, or any other street : then, you know, I must invite her to the tavern; I can do no less - There up comes her bravo; the Italian grows saucy, and I give him an English dowse on the face : I can box, sir, box tightly; I was a 'prentice, sir But then, sir, he whips out his stiletto, and I whips out my bull-dog-slaps him through, trips down stairs, turns the corner of Russel Street again, and whips me into the ambassador's train, and there I'm safe as a beau behind the scenes.
Sir H. Is your pistol charged, sir ?
Clench. sen. With all my heart, sir.
Sir H. Hark ye, Mr Jubilee, can you digest a brace of bullets ?
Clinch. sen. Oh, by no means in the world, sir.
[Presenting the Pistol to his Breast. Clinch. sen. Consider, dear sir, I am going to the jubilee : when I come home again, I am a dead man at your
service. Şir H. Oh, very well, sir; but take heed you are not so choleric for the future.
Clinch. sen. Choleric, sir! Oons, I design to shoot seven Italians in a week, sir.
Sir H. Sir, you won't have provocation.
Clench, sen. Provocation, sir ! Zouns, sir, I'll kill any man for treading upon my corns : and there will be a devilish throng of people there: they say that all the princes of Italy will be there.
Sir H. And all the fops and fiddlers in Europe
Clinch sen. Oh lord, sir, that's easy. Suppose the ship cast away; now, whilst other foolish people are busy at their prayers, I whip on my swimming girdle, clap a month's provision in my pocket, and sails me away, like an egg in a duck's belly. Well, sir, you must pardon me now, I'm going to see my mistress. [Exit.
Sir H. This fellow's an accomplished ass before he goes abroad. Well, this Angelica has got into my heart, and I cannot get her out of my head. I must pay her t'other visit.
LADY DARLING'S House.
Enter ANGELICA, LADY DARLING, CLINCHER JU.
NIOR, and Dicky.
Lady D. This is my daughter, cousin.
Clinch. jun. (Saluting ANGELICA.] One, two, three, your
humble servant. Was not that right, Dicky? Dicky. Ay, 'faith, sir; but why don't you speak to her ?
Clinch. jun. I beg your pardon, Dicky; I know my distance. Would you have me to speak to a lady at the first sight?
Dicky. Ay, sir, by all means; the first aim is the surest.
Clinch. jun. Now for a good jest to make her laugh heartily-By Jupiter Ammon, I'll give her a kiss.
(Goes towards her. Enter WILDAIR, interposing.
j'll outbid you.
Sir H. 'Tis all to no purpose ; I told you so before; your pitiful five guineas will never do. You may go;
Clinch. jun. What the devil! the madman's here again.
Lady D. Bless me, cousin, what d'ye mean? Affront a gentleman of his quality in my house?
Clinch. jun. Quality!- Why, madam, I don't know what you mean by your madmen, and your beaux, and your quality they're all alike, I believe.
Lady D. Pray, sir, walk with me, into the next
[Exit LADY DARLING, leading CLINCHER, DICKY
following Ang. Sir, if your conversation be no more agreeable than 'twas the last time, I would advise you to make your
visit as short as you can. Sir H. The offences of my last visit, madam, bore their punishment in the commission; and have made me as uneasy till I receive pardon, as your ladyship can be till I sue for it.
Ang. Sir Harry, I did not well understand the offence, and must therefore proportion it to the greatness of your apology; if you would, therefore, have me think it light, take no great pains in an excuse.
Sir H. How sweet must the lips be that guard that tongue! Then, madam, no more of past offences; let us prepare for joys to come. Let this seal my pardon.
[Kisses her Hand. Ang. Hold, sir : one question, Sir Harry, and pray answer plainly—D'ye love me?
Sir H. Love you? Does fire ascend? Do hypocrites dissemble: Usurers love gold, or great men flat. tery? Doubt these, then question that I love.
dug. This shows your gallantry, sir, but not your lore.