No. 498.

Wednes day, October 1,

1712.

Philosophy too; and being ever willing to embellish
my
self with any commendable Qualification, it was
not long e'er they perswaded me into the Coach-box;
nor indeed much longer before I underwent the fate of
my brother Phaeton, for having drove about fifty Paces
with pretty good Success, through my own natural
Sagacity, together with the good Instructions of my
Tutors, who, to give them their Due, were on all Hands
encouraging and assisting me in this laudable Under-
taking; I say, Sir, having drove about fifty Paces with
pretty good Success, I must needs be exercising the Lash,
which the Horses resented so ill from my Hands, that they
gave a sudden Start, and thereby pitched me directly upon
my Head, as I very well remembered about Half an Hour
afterwards, which not only deprived me of all the Know
ledge I had gain'd for fifty Yards before, but had like to
have broken my Neck into the Bargain. After such a
severe Reprimand, you may imagine I was not very easily
prevail'd with to make a second Attempt; and indeed,
upon mature Deliberation, the whole Science seemed, at
least to me, to be surrounded with so many Difficulties,
that notwithstanding the unknown Advantages which
might have accrued to me thereby, I gave over all
Hopes of attaining it, and I believe had never thought of it
more, but that my Memory has been lately refreshed by
seeing some of these ingenious Gentlemen ply in the open
Streets, one of which I saw receive so suitable a Reward
to his Labours, that tho' I know you are no Friend to
Story-telling, yet I must beg Leave to trouble you with
this at large,

About a Fortnight since, as I was diverting my self with a Pennyworth of Wallnuts at the Temple-Gate, a lively young Fellow in a Fustian Jacket shot by me, beckon'd a Coach, and told the Coachman he wanted to go as far as Chelsey: They agreed upon the Price, and this young Gentleman mounts the Coach-box; the Fellow staring at him, desired to know if he should not drive 'till they were out of Town? No, no, reply'd he: He was then going to climb up to him, but receiv'd another Check, and was then ordered to get into the Coach, or behind it, for that he wanted no Instructors; but be sure, you Dog

you

you, says he, don't you bilk me. The Fellow thereupon No. 498. surrender'd his Whip, scratch'd his Head, and crept into Wednes the Coach. Having my self Occasion to go into the day October 1, Strand, about the same Time, we started both together; 1712. but the Street being very full of Coaches, and he not so able a Coachman as perhaps he imagined himself, I had soon got a little Way before him; often, however, having the Curiosity to cast my Eye back upon him to observe how he behaved himself, in this high Station, which he did with great Composure 'till he came to the Pass, which is a Military Term the Brothers of the Whip have given the Streight at St. Clement's Church; when he was arrived near this Place, where are always Coaches in waiting, the Coachmen began to suck up the Muscles of their Cheeks, and to tip the Wink upon each other, as if they had some Roguery in their Heads, which I was immediately convinced of; for he no sooner came within Reach, but the first of them with his Whip took the exact Dimension of his Shoulders, which he very ingeniously call'd Endorsing; and indeed I must say that every one of them took due Care to endorse him as he came thro' their Hands. He seem'd at first a little uneasy under the Operation, and was going in all haste to take the Numbers of their Coaches; but at length, by the Mediation of the worthy Gentleman in the Coach, his Wrath was asswaged, and he prevail'd upon to pursue his Journey; though indeed I thought they had clapt such a Spoke in his Wheel, as had disabled him from being a Coachman for that Day at least: For I am only mistaken, Mr. SPEC, if some of these Endorse ments were not wrote in so strong a Hand, that they are still legible. Upon my enquiring the Reason of this unusual Salutation, they told me that it was a Custom among them, whenever they saw a Brother tottering or unstable in his Post, to lend him a Hand in order to settle him again therein: For my Part I thought their Allega tions but reasonable, and so march'd off. Besides our Coachmen, we do abound in divers other Sorts of ingenious robust Youth, who, I hope, will not take it ill if I refer giving you an Account of their several Recreations to another Opportunity, In the mean Time, if you would but bestow a little of your wholsome Advice upon our Coachmen

day,

No. 498. Coachmen, it might perhaps be a Reprieve to some of Wednes their Necks. As I understand you have several Inspectors under you, if you would but send one amongst us here in October 1, the Temple, I am perswaded he would not want Employ ment, But I leave this to your own Consideration, and am,

1712.

Sir,

Your very humble Servant,
Moses Greenbag.

P. S. I have heard our Criticks in the Coffee-houses
hereabout talk mightily of the Unity of Time and Place:
According to my Notion of the Matter, I have endeavoured
at Something like it in the Beginning of my Epistle. I
desire to be inform'd a little as to that Particular,
In my
next I design to give you some Account of excellent
Watermen, who are bred to the Law, and far outdo the
Land-Students abovemention'd.'

No. 499,
[ADDISON.]

T

Friend WILL HONYCOMB has told me, for above

Mthis half year, that he had a great Mind to try his

Hand at a Spectator, and that he would fain have one of his Writing in my Works. This Morning I receiv'd from him the following Letter, which, after having rectified some little orthographical Mistakes, I shall make a Present of to the Publick.

'Dear SPEC,

I was, about two Nights ago, in Company with very agreeable young People of both Sexes, where talking of some of your Papers which are written on conjugal Love, there arose a Dispute among us, whether there were not more bad Husbands in the World than bad Wives. A Gentleman, who was Advocate for the Ladies, took this Occasion to tell us the Story of a famous Siege in Germany, which I have since found related in my historical Dic

tionary

tionary, after the following Manner. When the Emperor No. 499, Conrade the Third had besieged Guelphus, Duke of Thursday, October 2, Bavaria, in the City of Hensberg, the Women finding 1712. that the Town could not possibly hold out long, petitioned the Emperor that they might depart out of it, with so much as each of them could carry, The Emperor, know ing they could not convey away many of their Effects, granted them their Petition: When the Women, to his great Surprize, came out of the Place with every one her Husband upon her Back, The Emperor was so moved at the Sight, that he burst into Tears, and after having very much extolled the Women for their conjugal Affection, gave the Men to their Wives, and received the Duke into his Favour,

The Ladies did not a little triumph at this Story, asking us, at the same Time, whether in our Consciences we believed that the Men of any Town in Great Britain would, upon the same Offer, and at the same Conjuncture, have loaden themselves with their Wives; or rather, whether they would not have been glad of such an Opportunity to get rid of them? To this my very good Friend Tom Dapperwit, who took upon him to be the Mouth of our Sex, replied, that they would be very much to blame if they wou'd not do the same good Office for the Women, considering that their Strength would be greater, and their Burdens lighter. As we were amusing our selves with Discourses of this Nature, in order to pass away the Evening, which now begins to grow tedious, we fell into that laudable and primitive Diversion of Questions and Commands, I was no sooner vested with the regal Authority, but I enjoined all the Ladies, under Pain of my Displeasure, to tell the Company ingenuously, in Case they had been in the Siege abovementioned, and had the same Offers made them as the good Women of that Place, what every one of them would have brought off with her, and have thought most worth the Saving? There were several merry Answers made to my Question, which entertained us 'till Bed-time. This filled my Mind with such an Huddle of Ideas, that upon my going to sleep I fell into the following Dream.

I saw a Town of this Island, which shall be nameless, invested

1712,

No. 499. invested on every Side, and the Inhabitants of it so Thursday, streigthned as to cry for Quarter. The General refused October 2, any other Terms than those granted to the abovemen tioned Town of Hensberg, namely, that the married Women might come out with what they could bring along with them. Immediately the City Gates flew open, and a Female Procession appeared, Multitudes of the Sex following one another in a Row, and staggering under their respective Burdens. I took my Stand upon an Emin ence in the Enemies' Camp, which was appointed for the general Rendezvous of these female Carriers, being very desirous to look into their several Ladings. The first of them had an huge Sack upon her Shoulders, which she set down with great Care: Upon the opening of it, when I expected to have seen her Husband shot out of it, I found it was filled with China-Ware. The next appeared in a more decent Figure, carrying an handsome young Fellow upon her Back: I could not forbear commending the young Woman for her conjugal Affection, when, to my great Surprise, I found that she had left the good Man at home, and brought away her Gallant. I saw the third at some Distance, with a little withered Face peeping over her Shoulder, whom I could not suspect for any but her Spouse, 'till upon her setting him down I heard her call him dear Pugg, and found him to be her favourite Monkey. A fourth brought a huge Bale of Cards along with her; and the fifth a Bolonia Lap-dog, for her Husband it seems being a very burly Man, she thought it would be less Trouble for her to bring away little Cupid. The next was the Wife of a rich Usurer, loaden with a Bag of Gold; she told us that her Spouse was very old, and by the Course of Nature could not expect to live long, and that to shew her tender Regards for him she had saved that which the poor Man loved better than his Life, The next came towards us with her Son upon her Back, who, we were told, was the greatest Rake in the Place, but so much the Mother's Darling that she left her Husband behind, with a large Family of hopeful Sons and Daughters, for the sake of this graceless Youth,

It would be endless to mention the several Persons, with their several Loads, that appeared to me in this

strange