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Of saucepans, trumpets, cheese, and such
sweet fare ; “ Sorrow hath ta'en my number ;”—I encroach
No more upon the chariot ;-but the chair.
Gone is the stride, four steps, across the stage !
Gone is the light vault o'er a turnpike gate! Sloth puts my legs into this tiresome cage,
And stops me for a toll, I find, too late! How Ware would quiver his mad bow about His rosin'd tight ropes-when I flapp'd a
dance ! How would I twitch the Pantaloon's good gout
And help his fall and all his fears enhance !
How children shriek’d to see me eat !-How I
Stole the broad laugh from aged sober folk ! Boys pick'd their plums out of my Christmas
pie, And people took my vices for a joke. Be wise, -(that's foolish,) - troublesome (be
rich) And oh, J. S. to every fancy stoop! Carry a ponderous pocket at thy breech, And roll thine eyes, as thou would'st roll a
Hand Columbine about with nimble hand,
Covet thy neighbour's riches as thy own: Dance on the water, swim
the land, Let thy legs prove themselves bone of my
bone. Cuff Pantaloon, be sure-forget not this :
As thou beat'st him, thou'rt poor, J. S.
funny! And wear a deal of paint upon thy phiz, It doth boys good, and draws in gallery mo
Lastly, be jolly! be alive! be light!
throw! Grow up right ugly in thy father's sight! And be an “ absolute Joseph,” like old Joe!
CLOUGH AND SHUTER. Clough had a very peculiar idea of amusement. The most diverting thing in the world to him, was a public execution ; and he would sooner have failed in being at the play house on the night he was to act, than to have omitted attending the unfortunate culprits to Tyburn, and to be a spectator of the horrors of death in so ignominious a manner. One night, he
was at a coffee-house, when, hearing the clock strike eleven, he abruptly rose and paid his reckoning: an acquaintance of his, sitting by him, asked, “ What is the matter, Clough; your hour is not come yet, you never stir till one ?" -Ay,” replied Clough, “ but do you not know that there is business to be done to-morrow, and Ned Shuter and I are to attend ?” Ned, who had been up all night, with a jovial party, was only in his first sleep when Clough called on him, and could not be prevailed upon to rise: Clough set off for the scene of pleasure, by himself, vociferating loudly, “ Was there ever such a fellow ? He has no more taste than a Hottentot!" Clough's taste, after all, we believe, was not singular.
A BLIND TRAGEDIAN. In a Wolverhampton Chronicle of December, 1792, the following paragraph appeared :
“ One Briscoe, the manager of a small thea trical company, now in Staffordshire, though stone blind, plays all the heroes in his tragedies, and lovers in genteel comedies !"
This celebrated composer of the music in " Macbeth,” was, in his early days, a singing boy in Exeter cathedral, in the organ loft of which, on the stone-screen, his name is thus inscribed, “ Matthew Locke, 1638." The characters are still distinctly legible, and their apparent antiquity leaves no doubt that they were cut by the young musician.
G. F. COOKE AND THE DIRTY BEAU.
After performing, one evening, at Manchester, Cooke repaired to a small tavern, near the Theatre, in company with a friend: mirth and goodhumour prevailed till twelve o'clock, when his friend perceiving, as he thought, a something lurking in his eye which foretold a storm, anxiously endeavoured to get him home before it burst forth. The importunity of his friend, instead of having the desired effect, precipitated what he had foreseen ; with a haughty, supercilious look, he said, " I see what you are about, you hypocritical scoundrel! Am I, George Frederick Cooke, to be controlled by such a wouldbe.puritan as you? I'll teach you to dictate to a tragedian!"—then pulling off his coat, and holding his fist in a menacing attitude, “ Come out," said he, “thou prince of deceivers !-come out, I say!" With some difficulty he was pacified, and resumed his coat.
There was a large fire in the room, before which stood a figure with his skirts under each arm, a pitiful imitation of buckism, very deficient in cleanliness and costume; his face was grimy, and his neckcloth of the same tint; which, nevertheless, was rolled in various folds about his throat; his hair was matted, and turned
under a worn-out hat, with narrow brims, conceitedly placed on one side of his head. Thus equipped, the fop straddled before the fire, which he completely monopolized.
At length he caught the eye of Cooke, who, in silent amazement, for the space
of half a minute examined him from top to toe; then turning to his friend, he burst into a horse laugh, and roared out,“ Beau Nasty, by Heaven!"
Perhaps intimidated by Cooke's former bluster, this insensible puppy took little notice. Cooke now rose from his seat, and taking up the skirts of his own coat in imitation of the beau, turned his back to the fire; and approaching him nearer, as if he had some secret to communicate, whispered, though loud enough for every one to hear, " Pray, sir, how is soap?"-"Soap !"-"Yes, sir,