NORTHERN FARMER. OLD STYLE. I. WHEER 'asta bean saw long and meä liggin' 'ere aloän? Noorse ? thoort nowt o' a noorse: whoy, Doctor's abeän an agoän : Says that I moänt 'a naw moor yaäle: but I beart a fool: Git ma my yaäle, for I beänt a-gooin' to break my rule. II. Doctors, they knaws nowt, for a says what's nawways true. III. Parson's a beän loikewoise, an' a sittin 'ere o' my bed. "The amoighty's a taäkin o' you to 'issén, my friend," a said, An' a towd ma my sins, an 's toithe were due, an' I gied it I done my duty by un, as I 'a done by the lond. IV. Larn'd a ma' bea. I reckons I 'annot sa mooch to larn. But a cost oop, thot a did, 'boot Bessy Marris's barn. staäte, An' i' the woost o' toimes I wur niver agin the raäte. V. An' I hallus comed to 's choorch afoor moy Sally wu dead An' 'eerd un a bummin' awaäy loike a buzzard-clock * ower my yead, An' I niver knaw'd whot a mean'd but I thowt a 'ad sum mut to saäy, An I thowt a said whot a owt to 'a said an' I comed awaäy *Cockchafer. VI. Bessy Marris's barn! tha knaws she laäid it to meä. VII. But Parson a comes an' a goos, an' a says it easy an' freeä "The amoighty's a taäkin' o' you to 'issén, my friend,” says 'eä. I weänt saäy men be loiars, thof summun said it in 'aäste : But a reads wonn sarmin a weeäk, an' I 'a stubb'd Thornaby waäste. VIII. D'ya moind the waäste, my lass? naw, naw, tha was not born then; Theer wur a boggle in it, I often 'eerd un mysen; Moäst loike a butter-bump, for I 'eerd un aboot an' aboot, But I stubb'd un oop wi' the lot, an' raäved an' rembled un oot. IX. Keäper's it wur; fo' they fun un theer a-laäid on 'is faäce Doon i' the woild 'enemies † afoor I comed to the plaäce. Noäks or Thimbleby - toner 'ed shot un as deäd as a naäil. Naäks wur 'ang'd for it oop at 'soize - but git ma my yaäle. X. Dubbut looäk at the waäste: theer warn't not feäd for a cow Nowt at all but bracken an' fuzz, an' looäk at it now Warnt worth nowt a haäcre, an' now theer's lots o' feäd, Fourscore yows upon it an' some on it doon in seäd. XI. Nobbut a bit on it 's left, an' I mean'd to 'a stubb'd it at fall, Done it ta-year I mean'd, an' runn'd plow thruff it an' all, oän. XII. Do godamoighty knaw what a's doing a-taäkin' o' meɑ? XIII. A mowt 'a taaken Joänes, as 'ant a 'aäpoth o' sense, XIV. Looak 'ow quoloty smoiles when they sees ma a passin' by, the 'All; I done my duty by Squoire an' I done my duty by all. XV. Squoire's in Lunnon, an' summun I reckons 'ull 'a to wroite, For who's to howd the lond ater mea thot muddles ina quoit ; Sartin-sewer I beä, thot a weänt niver give it to Joänes, Noither a moänt to Robins a niver rembles the stoäns. XVI. But summun 'ull come ater meä mayhap wi' 'is kittle o' steam Huzzin' an' maäzin' the blessed feälds wi' the Divil's oän team. Gin I mun doy I mun doy, an' loife they says is sweet, XVII. What atta stannin' theer for, an' doesn bring ma the yaäle ? Doctor's a 'tottler, lass, an a's hallus i' the owd taäle; I weänt break rules for Doctor, a knaws naw moor nor a floy; it ma my yaäle I tell tha, an' gin I mun doy I mun doy. NORTHERN FARMER. NEW STYLE. I. DOSN'T thou 'ear my 'erse's legs, as they canters awaäy? Proputty, proputty, proputty that's what I 'ears 'em saäy. Proputty, proputty, proputty - Sam, thou's an ass for thy paains; Theer's moor sense i' one o' 'is legs nor in all thy braaïns. Woä II. theer's a craw to pluck wi' tha, Sam: yon's parson's 'ouse Dosn't thou knaw that a man mun be eäther a man or a mouse? Time to think on it then; for thou'll be twenty to weeäk.* Proputty, proputty — woä then woä — let ma 'ear mysén speäk. III. Me an' thy muther, Sammy, 'as beän a-talkin' o' thee; Noa thou'll marry fur luvv an' we boäth on us thinks tha an ass. IV. Seeä'd her todaäy goä by Saäint's-daäy they was ringing the bells. She's a beauty thou thinks Them as 'as munny an' all blaws. an' soä is scoors o' gells, wot's a beauty? the flower as But proputty, proputty sticks, an' proputty, proputty graws. * This week. V. Do'ant be stunt: * taäke time: I knaws what maäkes tha sa mad. Warn't I craäzed fur the lasses mysén when I wur a lad? But I knaw'd a Quaäker feller as often 'as towd ma this : “Doänt thou marry for munny, but goä wheer munny is!” VI. An' I went wheer munny war: an' thy mother coom to 'and, Wi' lots o' munny laaïd by, an' a nicetish bit o' land. Maäybe she warn't a beauty:— I niver giv it a thowt But warn't she as good to cuddle an' kiss as a lass as 'ant nowt ? VII. Parson's lass 'ant nowt, an' she weänt 'a nowt when 'e 's deäd, Mun be a guvness, lad, or summut, and addle † her bread: Why? fur 'e 's nobbut a curate, an' weänt nivir git naw 'igher; An' 'e maäde the bed as 'e ligs on afoor 'e coom'd to the shire. VIII. And thin 'e coom'd to the parish wi' lots o' ' Varsity debt, shove, Woorse nor a far-welter'd ‡ yowe: fur, Sammy, "'e married fur luvv. IX. Luvv ? what's luvv? thou can luvv thy lass an' 'er munny too, Maakin' 'em goä togither as they've good right to do. Could'n I luvv thy muther by cause o' 'er munny laaïd by? Naäy fur I luvv'd 'er a vast sight moor fur it: reason why. * Obstinate. † Earn. Or fow-welter'd -- said of a sheep lying on its back in the furrow. |