Oldalképek
PDF
ePub

together in order to attend the means of grace. Blessed be God who has inclined their hearts to hear. O how refreshing it is to me to see them attend, with such uncommon diligence and affection, with tears in their eyes and concern in their hearts! In the evening, could not but lift up my heart to God in prayer, while riding to my lodging; and, blessed be his name, had assistance and freedom. O how much better than life is the presence of God!

Lord's day, June 30. "Preached twice this day also. Observed yet more concern and affection among the poor Heathens than ever; so that they even constrained me to tarry yet longer with them, although my constitution was exceedingly worn out, and my health much impaired by my late fatigues and labours; and especially by my late journey to Susquehannah in May last, in which I lodged on the ground for several weeks together.

July 1. "Preached again twice to a very serious and attentive assembly of Indians; they having now learned to attend the worship of God with christian decency in all respects. There were now between forty and fifty persons of them present, old and young. I spent a considerable time in discoursing with them in a more private way; inquiring of them what they remembered of the great truths which had been taught them from day to day; and may justly say, it was amazing to see how they had received and retained the instructions given them, and what a measure of knowledge some of them had acquired in a few days.

July 2. "Was obliged to leave these Indians at Crossweeksung, thinking it my duty as soon as my health would admit, again to visit those at the Forks of Delaware. When I came to take leave of them and to speak particularly to each of them, they all earnestly inquired when I would come again, and expressed a great desire of being further instructed. Of their own accord they agreed, that when I should come again, they would all meet and live together, during my continuance with them; and that they would use their utmost endeavours to gather all the other Indians in these parts who were yet more remote. When I parted from them, one told me, with many tears," She wished God would change her heart;" another, that "she wanted to find Christ ;" and an old man, who had been one of their chiefs, wept bitterly with concern for his soul. I then promised them to return as speedily as my health and business elsewhere would permit, and felt not a little concern at parting, lest the good impressions, then apparent upon numbers of them, might decline and wear off, when the means came to cease. Yet I could not but hope, that He, who I trusted, had begun a good work among them, and who, I knew, did not stand in need of means to carry it

on, would maintain and promote it. At the same time, I must confess, that I had often seen encouraging appearances among the Indians elsewhere, prove wholly abortive, and it appeared that the favour would be too great, if God should now, after I had passed through so considerable a series of almost fruitless labours and fatigues, and after my rising hopes had been so often frustrated among these poor pagans, give me any special success in my labours with them, I could not believe, and scarcely dared to hope, that the event would be so happy; and scarcely ever found myself more suspended between hope and fear in any affair, or at any time, than in this.

"This encouraging disposition, and readiness to receive instruction, now apparent among the Indians, seems to have been the happy effect of the conviction which one or two of them met with, sometime since at the Forks of Delaware: who have since endeavoured to show their friends the evil of idolatry. Though the other Indians seemed but little to regard, and rather to deride, them: yet this, perhaps, has put them into a thinking posture of mind, or at least, given them some thoughts about christianity, and excited in some of them a curiosity to hear; and so made way for the present encouraging. attention. An apprehension that this might be the case, here, has given me encouragement that God may, in such a manner, bless the means which I have used with the Indians in other places; where, as yet, there is no appearance of it. If so, may his name have the glory of it: for I have learnt, by experience, that he only can open the ear, engage the attention, and incline the hearts of poor benighted, prejudiced pagans to receive instruction.

"Rode from the Indians to Brunswick, nearly forty miles and lodged there. Felt my heart drawn after God in prayer, almost all the forenoon, especially in riding. In the evening, I could not help crying to God for those poor Indians; and, after I went to bed, my heart continued to go out to God for them till I dropped asleep. O, blessed be God, that I may pray!"

He was now so fatigued by constant preaching to these Indians, yielding to their importunate desires, that he found it necessary to give himself some relaxation. He spent, therefore, about a week in New Jersey, after he left the Indians; visiting several ministers, and performing some necessary business, before he went to the Forks of Delaware. Though he was weak in body, yet he seems to have been strong in spirit. On Friday. July 12, he arrived at his own house in the Forks of Delaware: continuing still free from melancholy; from day to day enjoying freedom, assistance, and refreshment in the inner man. But on Wednesday, the next week, he seems to have had some

melancholy thoughts about his doing so little for God, being so much hindered by weakness of body.

"Forks of Delaware, in Pennsylvania, July 1745. Lord's day, July 14. "Discoursed to the Indians twice. Several of them appeared concerned, and were, I have reason to think, in some measure convinced by the Divine Spirit, of their sin and misery; so that they wept much the whole time of divine service. Afterwards, discoursed to a number of white people then present.

July 18. "Preached to my people, who attended diligently beyond what had been common among these Indians and some of them appeared concerned for their souls. Longed to spend the little inch of time I have in the world, more for God. Felt a spirit of seriousness, tenderness, sweetness and devotion; and wished to spend the whole night in prayer and communion with God.

July 19. "In the evening, walked abroad for prayer and meditation, and enjoyed composure and freedom in these sweet exercises, especially in meditation on Rev. iii. 12: "Him that overcometh, will I make a pillar in the temple of my God." &c. This was then a delightful theme to me, and it refreshed my soul to dwell on it. O when shall I go no more out from the service and enjoyment of the dear Redeemer! Lord hasten the blessed day!

Lord's day, July 21. "Preached to the Indians first; then to a number of white people present; and in the afternoon, to the Indians again. Divine truth seemed to make very considerable impressions upon several of them, and caused the tears to flow freely. Afterwards I baptized my Interpreter, and his wife, who were the first whom I baptized among the Indians. "They are both persons of some experimental knowledge in religion; have both been awakened to a solemn concern for their souls; have to appearance, been brought to a sense of their misery, and undoneness in themselves; have both appeared to be comforted with divine consolations; and it is apparent that both have passed a great and I cannot but hope, a saving, change. It may perhaps be satisfactory and agreeable, that I should give some brief relation of this man's exercises and experience, since he has been with me; especially since he is employed as my Interpreter to others. When I first employed him in this business, in the beginning of the summer of 1744, he was well fitted for his work, in regard to his acquaintance with the Indian and English languages, as well as with the manners of both nations; and in regard to his desire that the Indians should conform to the manners and customs of the English, and especially to their manner of living. VOL. X.

26

But he seemed to have little or no impression of religion upon his mind, and in that respect was very unfit for his work; being incapable of understanding and communicating to others many things of importance, so that I laboured under great disadvantages in addressing the Indians, for want of his having an experimental, as well as more doctrinal acquaintance with divine truths; and, at times, my spirits sunk, and were much discouraged under this difficulty; especially when I observed that divine truths made little or no impressions upon his mind for many weeks together. He indeed behaved soberly after I employed him; although before, he had been a hard drinker ; and seemed honestly engaged, as far as he was capable, in the performance of his work. Especially he appeared very desirous that the Indians should renounce their heathenish notions and practices, and conform to the customs of the christian world. But still he seemed to have no concern about his own soul, until he had been with me a considerable time.

"Near the latter end of July, 1744, I preached to an assembly of white people, with more freedom and fervency than I could possibly address the Indians with, without their having first obtained a greater measure of doctrinal knowledge. At this time he was present, and was somewhat awakened to a concern for his soul; so that the next day, he discoursed freely with me about his spiritual concerns, and gave me an opportunity to use further endeavours to fasten the impressions of his perishing state upon his mind. I could plainly perceive, for some time after this, that he addressed the Indians with more concern and fervency than he had formerly done.

"But these impressions seemed quickly to decline; and he remained, in a great measure, careless and secure, until some time late in the autumn of the year following; when he fell into a weak and languishing state of body; and continued much disordered for several weeks together. At this season, divine truth took hold of him, and made deep impressions upon his mind. He was brought under great concern for his soul; and his exercises were not now transient and unsteady, but constant and abiding, so that his mind was burdened from day to day; and it was now his great inquiry, "What he should do to be saved?" This spiritual trouble prevailed, until his sleep, in a great measure, departed from him, and he had little rest day or night; but walked about under great pressure of mind, for he was still able to walk, and appeared like another man to his neighbours, who could not but observe his behaviour with wonder. After he had been some time under this exercise, while he was striving to obtain mercy, he says there seemed to be an impassable mountain before him. He was pressing towards heaven, as he thought; but "his way was hedged up with thorns, so that he could not stir an inch further." He look

ed this way and that way, but could find no way at all. He thought if he could but make his way through these thorns and briers, and climb up the first steep pitch of the mountain, that then there might be hope for him; but no way or means could he find to accomplish this. Here he laboured for a time, but all in vain. He saw it was impossible, he says, for him ever to help himself through this insupportable difficulty. "It signified just nothing at all for him to struggle and strive any more." Here, he says, he gave over striving, and felt that it was a gone case with him, as to his own power, and that all his attempts were, and for ever would be, vain and fruitless. Yet he was more calm and composed under this view of things, than he had been while striving to help himself.

"While he was giving me this account of his exercises, I was not without fears, that what he related was but the working of his own imagination, and not the effect of any divine illumination of mind. But, before I had time to discover my fears, he added, that at this time he felt himself in a miserable and perishing condition: that he saw plainly what he had been doing all his days; and that he had never done one good thing, as he expresses it. He knew he was not guilty of some wicked actions, of which he knew some others guilty. He had not been accustomed to steal, quarrel, and murder; the latter of which vices is common among the Indians. He likewise knew that he had done many things that were right; he had been kind to his neighbours, &c. "But still, his cry was, that he had never done one good thing." "I knew," said he, "that I had not been so bad as some others in some things; and that I had done many things which folks call good; but all this did me no good now. I saw that all was bad, and that I had never done one good thing;" meaning that he had never done any thing from a right principle, and with a right view, though he had done many things that were materially good and right. "And now, I thought," said he, "that I must sink down to hell; that there was no hope for me, because I never could do any thing that was good" and if God let me alone ever so long, and I should try ever so much, still I should do nothing but what is bad."

"This further account of his exercises satisfied me, that it was not the mere working of his imagination; since he appeared so evidently to die to himself, and to be divorced from a dependence upon his own righteousness, and good deeds, to which mankind, in a fallen state, are so much attached; and upon which they are so ready to hope for salvation.

"There was one thing more in his view of things at this time, which was very remarkable. He not only saw, he says, what a miserable state he himself was in, but he likewise saw that the world around him, in general, were in the same perish

« ElőzőTovább »